television recap (Apr. 5-11)

I know I am a day late here, but I did not get the chance to watch Lost until this morning and felt I needed to hold off until I had seen it. So, without further waiting, here are last week's top 10 television moments.

10. Jimmy Fallon- I have yet to sit through an entire episode of the show because I am not one for the late night talk shows, but I stumbled upon a segment early in the week with Cameron Diaz. First off, The Roots are his house band, which is beyond incredible. He and Cameron had a funny dance off while The Roots played original tunes. Diaz won with her hip shaking, but Fallon and Diaz had a nice chemistry and I think Fallon is settling into things.

9. Saturday Night Live- Zac Efron turned out to be a pretty good host. He did not set ablaze the comedy world, but he was charming and willing to do everything asked of him. The highlight was the HSM parody where Troy Bolton comes back to East High and tells all of the graduating seniors that there is no singing in college. The sketch is funny for musical geeks, but I liked it because Zac was hitting in issues with Zac not Troy. Will we accept Zac as someone who has moved on from HSM, or will he have to go back to Disney forever?

8. Reaper- Is Sam giving into the idea of the Dark Side? I do not know, but I am liking where this episode took the show. I have grown tired of Sock and his step sister flirting and am glad they finally did the deed and I saw the end coming a mile away, but this episode was made worth it by the fact that Ben was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice because he thought he lost the girl he loved. Part of the best thing about this show is that the 3 guys have very distinct personalities and Ben being the softer guy, it made sense.

7. Scrubs- As the final season starts to wind down, it is time for J.D. and Elliot to have issues. I liked the way they brought up the issues by putting the whole cast in an exotic locale. I am not sure how so much of a hospital staff was able to get away for a fake wedding, but whatever, it is Scrubs. This season has had less of the crazy daydreams and focused more on the reality and the J.D./Elliot love story has been a pretty grounding force throughout the run of the show. The moment at the bar made the episode as it showed how differently J.D. and Elliot think in terms of love. Of course, a scene featuring Elliot in a bikini in slow motion runs a close second.

6. 24- I am not sure how long I want Jack on the sidelines in all honesty. I like that Tony is running around making things happen, but I need Bauer Power!! With Bauer nursing his life threatening chemical agent, Tony infiltrates and finds the chemical weapons, but is it in time? I am confused as to where this story can go from here. This season seems to have gone off the typical short arcs building to a bigger arc, all of a sudden. I could be wrong, of course. The best moment came as Jon Voight, in all of his villain-like glee, gives the President an ultimatum. Good television!

5. Chuck- This episode really makes me hope this little show of awesomeness will get renewed. it was so packed with everything that makes it wonderful. First off, Scot Bakula as Chuck's dad was totally perfect. Bakula should find a way back on network television. I loved it. Then Chevy Chase as the villain was also cool. However, the coolest moment was Chuck, clad in spy gear, shooting knock out darts into Casey and Casey stumbling and slurring how badly he was going to kill Chuck. I need this show to keep going!

4. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles- Whether this is the season or series finale I do not know. What I do know is that all of my fears about where the show would go without Derek were eased by the truly awesome final scene. Cameron is gone, John and his mother are now in two different times and John is in the future, as a young John. I am not sure how they will go forward, but I like where they left things. The finale had guns fights, a prison break and John and Cameron hotness on a bed. So what if she is a Robot. She is Summer Glau. YUMMY!

3. Dollhouse- This was another exceptional episode from the Dollhouse team. I liked that we saw everyone's story, in a sort of overlapping method and any show that opens with Eliza Dushku as a dominatrix gets automatic points in my book. Sierra has totally grown on me as a sexy and smart female and Echo, is still awesome. The scene that started as an interrogation and ended in a fight, stole show because it was awesome and because it provided a twist I truly would have never seen coming. I am going to miss the character, but I think it was a good move in terms of story telling.

2. Friday Night Lights- Another great season finale in the books. I am so freaking glad this show has been renewed for two seasons because I think they set up the next two seasons perfectly in this finale. There are so many great moments starting with the 5 month spanning montage to open things and then the wedding party giving every character a moment to shine at the end. Picking one moment to highlight is tough, but I am going with Coach Taylor's quiet, gentle but firm plea for his job. Kyle Chandler is one of those actors who says more with his face than many can say with words and this moment really drove that home.

1. Lost- Speaking of actors who can say a lot with their face, Michael Emerson as Ben Linus continues a master class on acting over at Lost. The show is finally back on track this week with an awesome episode full of pulpy weirdness, cool story twists, and a brutally quick and intense fight. Lost is always better when John Locke in confident and in charge. His aloof arrogance is awesome in this episode as he leads Ben to a Smoke Monster trial. Picking one moment is again tough, but I think I will go with John and Ben having their first conversation. Emerson and Quinn are masterful in their facial expressions as these two island leaders try and figure out what the other knows.

With Terminator and Friday Night Lights ending their seasons, I am going to probably pick up Harper's Island and either Southland of The Unusuals depending on which pilot I like better.

Also, The Office would be my pick for worst of the week. Neither new episode really did anything for me, which makes me sad.

The art of Trailers

Most people complain about the amount of trailers that appear before a movie; they suck. There is an art to the trailer. There are ways to do it right and wrong and often times the genre of the film can be the device on hwo to judge a trailer, but there are rules to how they should go. What follows will be many trailers and some breaking down of what works and what does not work. I do this mostly because it is something I have thought a lot about and it is my blog and I can do whatever I want. Also, I mention trailers often in my reviews and this will provide the framework for those types of discussions.

Rule #1: Show just enough

The Matrix: We kind of know what the movie is about, but not so much that we do not need to see the movie to understand. There is a ton of action and a few philosophgical questions posed. This is what we need to want to see the movie. For 2 minutes and 30 seconds I desperately need to see this movie.



Snake Eyes: Everything is going okay until the 1:57 mark when they show way too much by giving away what would have been a twist. Why do I need to see this thrillers when the big thrill has been spoiled for me?



Rule #2: (For action movies) Never give us your best stunt/sequence/explosion in the trailer! Of course, we cannot know this happened until after the movie. So, the disgust is retroactive.

Superman Returns: This is the biggest offender of this. At the 2:20 mark pretty much the coolest thing happens and it made me need to see the movie because how much cooler woudl the rest of it be. WRONG! It was the single best moment in the movie and they blew it. It was the peak and I got it before entering the movie



Rule #3: Misleading the audience. This is another one that is essentially retroactive, because we cannot really know we have been misled until the movie is over.

Gran Torino: The trailer makes the movie look like a revenge movie. It looks like a movie full of violence and leads me to believe CLint is going to somehow kill all of the gang members. The movie is not about that at all!



Rule #4: Music choice. This can actually make or break a trailer, really. There are many examples of good and bad music choice in a trailer.

The Last House on the Left(2009): When I reviewed it I already made mention of the song, but it is a perfect song choice. The song is moody and somber, so it only hints at the violence and the vocals are slow and drawn out, like torture. It is also a song about love, which works as a juxtoposition for the carnage, but also works becuase the parents do this out of love.



Miami Vice: There will be people who disagree with me on this one because there is a way to look at it that the song fits. However, Michael Mann has no business having Linkin Park as music in his films. To me, the hybrid of Jay-Z/Linkin Park suggests something different than Miami Vice. Maybe my perception of a Miami Vice movie is different from what it should be to begin with.



Rule #5: Do not give away your funniest material, while still being funny. (applies to comedies or action comedies) This is very similar to the action sequence rule.

Superbad: The trailer offers tons of laughs, but it barely scratches the surface of the comedy held within the nearly two hours of the movie. Plus, it gave us McLovin which is hilarious and needed to be in the trailer.



Anger Management: All of the funny to be had in this movie can be found right here in this trailer. The other stuff not in this trailer is not at all funny.



Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story: It is possible this movie is funny, but you cannot tell that from this trailer.



So I thought I would show 1 perfect trailer and 1 possible perfect trailer to recap and show how these things all can work together. I am not going to pick obvious ones liek The Dark Knight or something epic like that because it would be too easy. Also, it is purely a coincidence that Seth Rogen stars in both.

Pineapple Express: First off, it shows some funny stuff without showing the funniest stuff. Next, it gives good action, but does not show the most epic stuff. It gives us an idea of what the movie is about but still leaves me wondering things, which is always good. Lastly, it has the perfect song.

Offensive language WARNING



Observe and Report: This movie looks so dark and funny at the same time, which makes me really want to see it. it has a perfect song to match the voice over stuff. Now, it could all be misleading, but for now, it is perfect. It makes me laugh and cringe, and I need to see where it is all going. The song I mean starts at the thirty second mark.




One last trailer I want to show and mention because this si the trailer that really spawned this entire conversation that began in my head. The music is perfect and visually it looks amazing, but it has no story clues at all. yes, I am dying to see it

Where the Wind Things Are


I know this is not an all inclusive list and I know that not everyone will appreciate the artistry of the trailer, but I like them because they can lead me to things like this.

Fast & Furious

I want to begin by saying I am a fan of this franchise. I do not know why, but the first 2 are movies I enjoy. I need to say this because the criticism that follows is not because I think these movies are repulsive or stupid. Well, I do think they are stupid, but in a big fun stupid kind of way. I very much wanted to enjoy the movie and when I was done watching it, I was so sure everyone would feel that way I did. They did not. People love it, so I am in the minority, but just know, I did not go into the movie thinking I would hate it, or wanting to hate it.

A big deal was made about the original 4 stars coming back. We get to see some of this right off the bat, as Dom(Vin Diesel) and Lettie(Michelle Rodriguez) are part of a team that is trying to steal gasoline from a massive gasoline truck that happens to be alone on a giant stretch of highway. The heist ends in a big explosion and Dom believes the team needs to split up and he needs to leave Lettie because the heat on him is too high. he leaves her. We then catch back up with Brian (Paul Walker) who is somehow an F.B.I. agent. he is chasing a guy through a street and gets name off of him. We catch back up with Dom after Lettie is killed and Dom must come back to America. Dom is after Lettie's killer and Brian is after a giant drug kingpin. What were the odds this was the same person? What were the odds this kingpin needs street racers! This is the perfect set up for a series of chases, gun fight, fist fights and explosions, right? WRONG! This turns out to be the perfect set up for a drama so wrought with homoerotic tension, the Volley ball scene in Top Gun got jealous.

I am sure I am supposed to begin with a joke about the definite articles being eliminated from the title, but I want my joke to be about the title. I want my joke to go like this: "Fast and Furious?, yeah right more like sort of speedy and kind of reckless." It is not a very good joke, but this movie does not deserve a good joke. This movie has everything it needs to be awesome: Fast cars, guns, Vin Diesel's arms, hot chicks and faster cars. How could they possibly screw it up? Well, with a movie that runs 110 minutes, there should have been twice as much action. First off, the entire opening sequence should have been awesome, but they broke a cardinal Kyle sin: They blew it all in the trailer! If something is the best thing you have, do not give it away in the trailer! ARGH! Second, there are only two actual car chase scenes. They are both pretty awesome, but only 2? And I had to wait until the very end to get one of them. Third, why give us a potentially confusing story. We do not care, we just want to watch Vin Diesel tear guys up. He does not get angry enough for me, here. The dude has tree trunks for arms and he should be swinging those bad boys more often. Even in terms of guilty pleasure, Fast and Furious disappoints. Some of the cheesy lines exist, but there is nothing as classic as "I live my life a quarter mile at a time."

I do not want to leave anyone with the impression that it is all worthless, because the climatic chase through a long tunnel is pretty cool and that chase has a satisfactory ending and the chase earlier through the streets of Los Angels has some really cool stuff and I liked the way the GPS was used to maneuver us through the 4 cars in that race. Also, everyone is is extremely hot. Diesel looks more buff than ever, Walker is still pretty, Michelle Rodriguez, in her one scene looks great and Jordanna Brewster looks great in clingy sweaty sun dresses. Also, the cars are sexy looking and the girls used as set dressing all have banging curves. I am sure people will love/hate all of the homoerotic tension between Diesel and Walker. I kept waiting of them to just kiss and get it over with. it is all very sweet. They are so Bromantic I expect Judd Apatow to make a movie starring them.

However, the most disappointing thing about Fast and Furious is that I did not get to go with Erik and we did not get to ask for tickets to 4 Fast 4 Furious. Hopefully we will get to do it for 5 Fast 5 Furious!

Final Grade: C-

The Class (Entre les murs)

Anytime a movie spends a 10 minute scene with a bunch of students trying to figure out the proper tenses of words like "to swim," it is probably a given that I will like that movie. The Class is that movie. Based on the memoir of a real life teacher (who wrote the script and stars as the teacher) The Class is a small, intimate portrait of a middle school classroom in France. Francois teaches French to a group of kids who are mostly immigrants, for whom French is not their natural language. He gets along with his fellow teachers, he has a smart lesson plan and a very good idea of who his kids are and what his kids can do. As this movie shows, though, none of that matters once the kids are sitting in class. Lesson plans often get thrown away in favor of keeping up with the questions kids have, or have to be put away to deal with some problems in the classroom. Francois is liked by the students generally, but he is firm. he does not allow students to slack off, because he believes in them. The job is frustrating though and The Class really shows how frustrating it can be.

The Class features a host of young people, who are first time actors and who went through a grueling audition and improvisation process. Because of this, the kids are raw and the dialog feels like real things kids this age would say. The film feels less like a movie and more like a documentary. I know that is semi-common these days with movies, but there is not a real actory feel to any of the performances. I do not want to make that sound like a bad thing. I mean, the emotions are there and the anger can be very palpable, but it does not feel fabricated. There are young people who do not articulate the way you'd like them to on screen, but I think that adds to the idea that these are not actors. I would not want every movie to utilize this concept, but it works for a movie like this.

Of course I am going to like a movie that is all about words and how to understand them and use them. It should come as no surprise that a movie that has a long conversation about when to use formal and informal language registers nicely with me. I think the movie can be appreciated by people who are not word nuts like I am, but I am not sure. My movie going partner did not seem to enjoy the movie the way I did. I know it was not because of the very anti-Hollywood ending, because he is not like that, so maybe this movie is best viewed by people who want to be teaching in a classroom or who already do teach in a classroom. Luckily for me, I am that person.

Final Grade: B+

Television recap (Mar.29-Apr.4)

10. Scrubs- This is a weird season because every actor has to not appear in at least two episodes to keep costs down. This episode gave most of the actors a break while giving us time to examine the friendship between Turk and Elliot. I like these two together as friends and this episode did a really good job of mixing the funny and the serious. The interns have officially grown on me, but the show is ending soon, so I am trying not to get too attached to the whole thing. Highlight: Turk throwing a fit because J.D went to Disneyland without him.

9. Lost- This was about as bad as this show has been in like two years. It turns out I really do not care at all about Kate and will actually grow to hate her if Sawyer backslides and revisits his feelings for her. I like that Jack is furthering his transition into the new Locke by believing the Island takes care of things the way it wants. Also, they solved a lot of Ben related problems, which is good, I guess. I could have done without any of the non-Island stuff because Kate is just boring for me. I know I was supposed to feel something when she said good-bye to Aaron, but I do not. Also, a big deal was made about no one else raising Aaron and I need them to bring that back up. Highlight: Miles and Hurley having a conversation about what time is doing and how it operates. It was funny and informative.

8. Chuck- Tricia Helfer stops by as a new handler for Chuck! No! Sarah needs to be Chuck's handler, but Chuck goes all romantic with Chuck and the higher ups do not think it is a good idea. This episode was good because it really brings home the idea of Chuck as a sort of superhero. He has this big secret and he cannot tell his family and so everyone suffers. Plus, Tricia Helfer dressed as a sexy cop and did a pole dance. Still, Sarah remains the heart of this show and she risked her job to help Chuck. I do believe this Orion storyline is not as finished as they want us to think, but I am worried this show will not get proper closure. Highlight: Casey and the Helfer character are all business and the show used the scene of them cleaning their guns together as a sort of sex scene. Funny stuff, kudos!

7. American Idol- Lady GaGa is insane and I am starting to like her. She started the song all slow and stupid, but with clear vocals and then sang Poker Face the way it was meant to sung, and sounded awful! It was so weird. Anyway, I love her like Post-Post-Modern take on performing. It is like she is doing Britney doing Madonna. It is just crazy enough for me to be fascinated by the whole thing. I like that she is a rich girl who used to be a stripper just to be a stripper and even her name is growing on me on some childish nonsense level. Oh, the girl has serious ass too, at least in that outfit she did. Highlight: The zipper thingy over her left eye. Chick is just strange, but polished, which is awesome.

6. 24- Jack Bauer is on the sidelines dying for his country! Of course, he cannot die because the show has at least one more season, but Keifer is selling the hell out of this. Jack is putting up a brave front, but I keep waiting for that breakdown that he finally gave his life for his country. He sacrificed himself to save thousands. On top of everything else Jon Voight is totally rocking the villain role. He is melodramatic with just the right style of over-the-topness. Tony is back with a bigger role which is awesome and Larry Moss has finally understood what Jack Bauer is all about. Highlight: The final moments with Federal agents facing off with Starkwood. AWESOME!

5. Dollhouse- This felt like the end of a chapter, which was cool. I liked seeing the dolls in their actual personalities and the blossoming romance between Sierra and Victor is cool. I like that the romance is not with the main actress. It was a cool episode because it gave us back stories without needing slide into full flashbacks and it provided a reason for these people to sign up for the Dollhouse. Are they being paid for it? I know I am in the minority of fans, but I like Topher and think he provides an interesting thematic notion of playing God. Highlight: The fact that the whole plan was the doctor's. I did not see that coming at al.

4. Terminator- This is super high on the list this week because the show had the balls to kill off the best part of the show and they did it in the first 20 minutes and did it so quickly and unceremoniously. I am not sure I am going to care much about the show after this week, but I have to give it props for doing this. The show is not assured a third season, so I have a hard time mustering the energy to concern myself with the whole thing, but I enjoyed this episode. I am finally thinking the whole John Henry plot is going to pay off, which is good because I think so much more could have been done there. This show is at its best when it forgoes with the end of the world stuff and just focuses on what is happening at that moment and this episode had a lot of that. Highlight: Cameron laying the smack down on another Cyborg. She kicks so much ass.

3. Friday Night Lights- The team lost State, but did it in nailbiting and awesome fashion. Down 27 at half, Coach Taylor makes some changes, gives a speech and awesome things happen. Matt leads the team to 28 unanswered points! Landry leads the way with a huge block and Landry also kisses Tyra! Is Tim Riggins done with football? Was him leaving his cleats on the field symbolic of that? Coach and Joe McCoy are heading for some serious issues. Most importantly, THE SHOW WAS RENEWED FOR TWO SEASON!!! Coach Taylor's speech after the game gave me my usual end of episode tears. They really are all champions in my book. Highlight: Riggins and Saracen playing Frisbee is a moment of pure innocent joy between two guys who should have had more screen time together.

2. How I Met your Mother- After watching this on Monday I was convinced this would be my favorite thing all week. That is how good it was. Ted has a Murtaugh list. A Murtaugh list is a list of things he is too old to do and it is named after Det. Murtaugh of Lethal Weapon. That concept is so indicative of this show and how awesome it is. All week I have been trying to write my own Murtaugh list. Barney decides he needs to do everything on the list, which leads to NPH with Pink hair in rave clothes. In exchange, Ted has to do all of the things old people do, which Ted thinks is awesome because he wants to be an old man. Barney's exchange with the laser-tag boss was also absolutely hilarious, in mock cop fashion. Highlight: Barney pathetically on Ted's couch with his pink hair, rave clothes and pussing ear finally admitting defeat.

1. Supernatural- Erik recently asked me if I had to choose one show to watch what would it be and I answered "Supernatural." This episode is totally why it would be my one show. This episode starts off in hilarity as Sam and Dean discover books have been written about the lives and the show gets very META as the boys discover fandoms and fan fiction and mention how disgusting "slash-fic" is because they are brothers. Also, the creator of the show finds a way to apologize for bad episodes and all other kinds of META things. However, right at the half way mark, one sentence turns the episode into something very serious. Supernatural has that ability and it never seems forced. Castiel gets to do more helping Dean stuff and we learn that the book of Winchester is being written. Highlight: Dean saying "I am sitting in a Laundromat reading about me sitting in a Laundromat, reading about me..My head hurts."


I purposely avoided the series finale of E.R. this week because at some point, I will watch the whole series and kind of want the finale to be as much of a surprise as something can be these days with the Internet.

Knowing (I spoil the whole movie, sorry!!!)

Knowing was not even remotely on my radar three weeks ago. There was no desire until Ebert gave it 4 stars and then my boss saw it and had some interesting things to say. All of a sudden I found myself in front of a movie theater asking for one to Knowing. But what is this movie? Is a Supernatural thriller? Is it a horror film? Is it a family drama? Could it be a disaster flick? Generally speaking I have no idea with a movie operating within a few different genres. This particular movie just refused to be nailed into any genre for too long. However, from the trailer I could tell I would have a problem: It prophesied the end of the world and movies never follow through on that. Therefore, I was going in with the thought that Nic Cage was going to stop the end of the world. No good can come from that!

In 1959 a creepy little girl wrote down a string of numbers that got put into a time capsule. In 2009, John Koestler(Cage)'s son Caleb(Chandler Canterbury) gets that string of numbers out of the time capsule that commemorated the 50th anniversary of that school existing. John and Caleb have an odd relationship, as they are trying to mourn the loss of John's wife, who was Caleb's mother. John is a professor at M.I.T (yes, Cage as a M.I.T professor) who is teaching a class in determinism vs. total randomness. One drunken night, he looks at Caleb's string of numbers and starts seeing patterns in the numerology. The numbers represent dates of major world wide catastrophes and the number of people killed in each event. Not surprisingly, he cannot get anyone to buy the theory, but at the end of the list were events that had not happened yet. Then, one happens right in front of him. An airplane crashes and John believes this list was meant for him, but why, if he cannot change the results? He seeks out the family of the little girl and soon he and his son are joined by Diana(Rose Byrne), the daughter of the little girl in 1959, and Diana's daughter, Abby. It seems these four people are meant to have this list and meant to follow clues. Caleb and Abby are very in tune with these whisper people who show up often to scare the crap out of Caleb and John.

I feel that in order to really review this movie properly I have to spoil the movie. I do not like doing it, but I think one's entire opinion of this movie rests in spoiling it. First off, the first 85 minutes of this movie are worthless. The prologue goes on for far too long and the set up is annoying. I think if it was more focused in the first half, it could have been an excellent movie. However, it tried for scares and tried to be a family drama. It tried to satisfy too much at one time, as if the script was unfinished, but they shot the movie anyway. The acting is disastrous from everyone, but Cage takes the cake trying to deliver lines like "How am I supposed to stop the end of the world?" That being said, something weird happens that kind of turns the movie around.

Once the foursome get together, things pick up. The two adults leave the two sleeping children in the car and go investigate a creepy home in the middle of nowhere. While they are in the house, the whisper people come to visit the kids and it has a very creepy vibe, but not scary, just creepy. The scene cuts back and forth as the adults figure out that the last digits are not 33 but the letter E backwards twice. The cutting gets quicker and quicker and eventually the kids scream, Cage runs out and chases the whisper person. He catches up to the whisper person, the whisper person turns around to face Cage, opens his mouth very wide and a bright light temporarily blinds Cage. From there, you realize anything and everything is possible in this movie. As soon as you realize that, director Alex Proyas proceeds to throw everything possible at you. First off, the religious undertones start getting a bit more overt. Cage calls his preacher father when he realizes the end of the world is eminent. They have this quasi-religious conversation about death and life. Then, the whisper people do some more mojo and get the kids. Then Cage finds the kids, with each child holding a bunny. Then the kids tell Cage they have to go with the whisper people. Cage does not understand at first, but then the movie gets totally bizarre!

The whisper people have a spacecraft (?!?!?) and they shed their human skin and are just figures of muscles and joints. Cage understands what is happening and says good bye to his little boy. As these "Beings" levitate to their ship with the kids, it is possible they sprout wings like angels. It is possible they are Beings from God. After they skyrocket it on out of there, we see dozens of other spacecrafts leaving Earth at the same time. Then the the biggest whopper of all happens: THE EARTH GETS DESTROYED!!!! Knowing actually had the balls to end Earth! And it end with a big sunburst of fire and energy, that moves over the cities like a a literal heat wave. EVERYONE DIES!!! How freaking awesome is that?? Oh the effects of the demolition are stupendous too. For the close of the movie we see the two little kids and the two bunnies dropped off on a new Earth, where they run to a giant Tree of Life.

Your opinion of this movie will rest with your ability to just go with it. I think everyone will like the plane crash and the scene of Cage trying to find survivors, which was done in one pretty breathless take. The subway crash has a really cool shot that will amuse people and the demolition of Earth stuns, but if you cannot buy into aliens or angels suddenly appearing to take children and animals to a new planet, you will hate the movie. You will be disgusted. What I liked about the whole thing is how almost ambiguous it is. You can buy the theory that they are aliens and therefore, God has nothing to do with anything and higher intelligences control our actions and determine our fates. However, you can see them as angels doing God's work. I think Knowing succeeds in having it both ways. There is comfort to the characters in believing in God and heaven. So it is easy to make a case for that. The movie leaves the audience with more questions than answers, but that is not necessarily a bad thing, is it?

I know four people who have seen Knowing and all four of them had vastly different reactions. That is the kind of world in which this movie is operating. I imagine college philosophy and religion professors are going to get their hands on this movie and show it to students and college students will study it. Alex Proyas has made a living of doing dark movies about humanity. Knowing is not as dark as Dark City or The Crow and it is not as tight or coherent as I, Robot, but there is something very interesting about it. I want to see the movie again, but I want to skip the first half. I just do not think that is possible until it comes out on video.

Final Grade: B-

Television recap (Mar. 22-28)

Okay a minor tweaking again. This time my top 10 will be in order of awesomeness.

10. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles- After about a month of seriously bad episodes, the show got itself back on track with a cool episode that mixed a bit of fantasy (happiness with Charley and the dog) with a whole lot of untrusting behavior. Add to that, the mythology forwarding revelation that another A.I exists, a shoot out and Cameron tearing a fence in half and you have the return of Terminator. It is a welcome return, but is it too late?

9. Scrubs- I always like it when the inner voices are people other than the main folks. This week the interns got the inner voices and Jett Jackson gets the win. The main story was kind of cool, I guess, but mostly I liked hearing the thoughts of the interns. I honestly believe this show could survive with the new batch of people, but am kind of glad it will not be. My favorite intern is the tough girl. She cracks me up with her awful bedside manner.

8. Chuck- Chuck is on its game these days! The mythology gets broader and the action gets awesomer! Chuck was messaged by the mysterious Orion who may be able to help Chuck get the thing out of his and allow him to live a normal life again. The big reveal was that the Government does not want the thing out of Chuck's head!! Chuck has become too important and they want him to figure out how to be a real spy! A lot of people liked the B plot but for me, this was all about A plot and A plot freaking ruled. There was even a fist fight and a gun fight and Casey awesomeness. Sarah needs to stand up for Chuck, dammit!

7. How I met your Mother- This show is at its best when it mixes an A plot of semi reality and a B plot of total absurdity. This week's B plot was the ultimate is absurdity. Robin once had sex with a celebrity in a weird position that can be found on Canadiansexacts.org. the names of the sex acts are hilarious and the website, which is up and semi-running is super hilarious. Oh HIMYM, you slay me with your Canada jokes and your dirty sex talk. Plus, anytime Robin is talking about sex is good in my book.

6. Grey's Anatomy- I think we had to have the goofy ghost sex plot to get here. And here is a good place to be. Everyone is getting the chance to act and do some awesome work. The opening was frightening and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder plot is actually turning out to be good for the show. I find that soldier stories often feel heavy handed, but this is totally working for me. Kevin McKidd rules and I hope he sticks around for a very long time. Also, McDreamy's non-proposal was excellent in the realm of the show. I mean proposing in an elevator! Perfect!

5. Reaper- This show gets the award for most interesting mythology forwarding. First, the Devil has another son. Second, the Devil is considering grooming Sam to rule with him instead of the other son. Third, Sam's dad is not actually dead, well sort of. He looked kind of zombieish. This episode really moved things forward, while staying true to the comedy aspect, as Ben tries to figure out sex with his demon girlfriend. I really enjoyed the realization that the three friends do not really have the kind of skills needed to do the things they find ways to do. It provided a very winking moment.

4. Lost- I was a bit underwhelmed this week, minus two things. First, Sayid drugged. Sayid is always such a cool cool customer underplaying every moment and watching him high as a kite was entertaining, especially because he could still say the creepy guy used exactly the right dosage. I liked him going all John Locke and predicting death for everyone. Then, of course, the cliffhanger. I know that it will be undone by the magic of the Island because it cannot happen, but how awesome and tragic was it to see it happen. I was not sure Sayid really had it in him. I kind of like this first season throwback episode of a straight flashback, or flash forward because of the time switching. Eh, whatever!

3. Dollhouse- Joss finally found a way to throw some comedy into this show. I do not think the show needs it to survive, but after last week's craziness, it was nice to see. Also, we got more back story and an idea of how Dollhouse gets new dolls. Topher and the big boss lady on a strange drug trip highlighted the comedy and Eliza Dushku in thigh high socks and a pink pleated skirt highlighted, well Eliza Dushku's hotness. I like that the show is building on the momentum of last week's game changer and it remains pretty interesting. Plus, it gave everyone a chance to do something totally different. I like that every time the show came back from commercial break we started in a flashback to figure out what exactly happened, but mostly I liked that Joss brought the funny.

2. Supernatural- Like Dollhouse, Supernatural brought the funny this week. This is consistently one of the best shows on television because, like Buffy before it, the supernatural aspect lends itself to pretty much anything they want to do. Last week was so dramatic and intense, I liked having a week of funny. The brothers appear to be in an alternate reality where they do not know each other and are corporate dweebs. There were tons of in jokes and old school Supernatural brother things to make this episode fun. Plus, the Ghost Facers (Supernatural's version of ghost hunters) were back bringing some seriously funny moments as they teach the brothers how to kill a ghost. The episode was super bright and a very interesting departure. Plus, the two guys once again show a great deal of range in acting.

1. 24- Jack did something I have not really seen him do much of in 7 seasons. He changed his plan to go back and save someone. Jack is the ultimate believer in sacrificing a little to save a lot, but I think 7 days of watching people die finally go to him. Keifer played the moment with brilliance and it led to a super kick ass gun fight, which is ultimately what matters. This episode really caught me by surprise, especially the final 10 minutes. Jack may have made the ultimate sacrifice to save humanity and it might have just backfired on him. A good guy captured, Jack coughing and the bay guys got the weapons. I cannot wait to see what comes next!

I did not include Friday Night Lights this week because I wanted to single something out of the show and give it a space alone:

Zach Gilford- Zach plays Matt Saracen on this show. He is phenomenal. He is 26 but plays a high school senior very realistically. His character has a dad in Iraq, a mom who until recently was non existent and he lives with his grandmother. His grandmother suffers from Alzheimer's and Matt takes care of her. He just lost the starting QB job as well. Every week he breaks my heart. He is soft spoken, but commands attention on screen. The kid, like so many on the show, has the goods to be something big and I am definitely keeping my eye on him. You really should be watching this show!

Avenue Q

Before I really go in on this, I have to say that this is only my second Broadway Series show ever and my first one, Guys and Dolls, turned out to be so bad, my expectations for this were pretty low. That being said, I was excited to see it. Ever since I first heard the show, I knew I needed to see it.

On Avenue Q everyone is having a rough time. Brian (Cullen R. Titmas) cannot find a job, his wife, Christmas Eve (Sala Iwamatsu) cannot keep clients as a therapist. Kate Monster (Anika Larsen) is adorable, smart and sweet but does not have a boyfriend. Then, Rod (Robert McClure) and Nicky (David Benoit) are roommates and best friends, but they are constantly fighting. Then Princeton (Robert McClure) moves in and joins in the misery as a recent college grad without a job. Oh and Gary Coleman (Danielle K. Thomas), yes that Gary Coleman, is the Super at the apartment complex where all of these crazy people live. Soon, Kate likes Princeton and Princeton likes Kate, but his purpose gets in the way. Rod might be gay, but he is hiding in the closet and it causes problems with Nicky. It would probably be wise to tell you that a few of these characters are puppets and some of those puppets are considered monsters. Also, Trekkie Monster lives upstairs and only cares about porn.

First, I have to talk about the things that bugged me. First off, I am sure this is how it is supposed to go, but having Rod and Princeton voiced by the same person was horribly annoying. It works until they are both on stage and the guy voicing Rod is on the other side of the stage from the Rod puppet. I know the character is the point, not the puppeteer, but I found the whole thing to be far too distracting. McClure does an excellent job at both parts, but the constant switching of puppets and hearing the voice elsewhere was almost too much for me to handle. Secondly, Titmas' Brian was so dull and laid back, he did not belong on the stage. I get that Brian is this slacker, easy going guy, but I still need energy in order to care one bit. Brian does not have to have a super strong voice, which this guy did not have, but he has to have life. Thomas, as Coleman, had breasts that were just too big for this person to even possible be considered a guy. They were not hidden well in the overalls. Thomas did fine, if a bit grating, but the big bouncy breasts certainly made it clear that Coleman was being played by a woman. Finally, the music was over powering in spots, especially when Thomas was singing as Coleman.

Everything else is all gravy. First off, McClure does a phenomenal job portraying two very different personalities. His Princeton is lovable, interesting and a bit pathetic and his vocals match the personality. His Rod is picture perfect. He plays him more buttoned down than I would have imagined and just enough of a lisp to hint at being gay and then when he finally lets loose, wow, it is hilarious. I like that each character gets a very distinct singing voice, with the Rod character coming off a bit more impressive. Larsen's Kate is very funny and touching. "There's a fine line" is a great song and great moment, only ruined by the dumb girl behind me giggling through the whole song. Iwamatsu's Christmas Eve nearly stole the show. I was worried I would not be able to understand anything out of her mouth, but she was clear enough to make it super funny and when she sang "The More you Ruv Someone" I was totally with it. Beonoit, doing triple duty as Nicky, Trekkie and a bad idea bear, is probably the most impressive, in terms of voice work because all 3 of his characters are vastly different and he does very well with all three.

The bad Idea Bears were a big treat for me. I had no idea what they were and they really added a nice element to the Sesame Street vibe. Also, the use of a television like a word of the day added a nice comic touch. I like that almost every first act song ends in a big cheesy pose, especially during numbers like "Every one's a little bit Racist." Every single song worked in this production and the choreography was perfectly simple, which was good because a few of the actors could not dance a lick. The stationary set was impressive looking, and offered a few nice surprises, like the rocket ship beds during Rod's very touching and kind of silly dream song.

The idea of using a kid's show as the framing device for the show, of course, mines greater laughs out of songs like "The Internet is for Porn" or "You can be as loud as the Hell you Want," but what makes the show great to me is the idea of the show being squarely aimed at people in the mid to late 20s. I love that they use puppets, a memory of childhood, to work through their 20s issues. Songs like "I wish I could go back to College" or "What do you do with a B.A. in English" offer a nice insight into the writers and offer a great perspective to so many people going through that at that age. The puppets seem like merely a gimmick and they do offer plenty of gimmickry (The puppet sex is freaking hilarious and amazing beyond belief), but they are more than a gimmick, they will remind anyone watching of a time when life was easy.

This production of Avenue Q sparkles when it is supposed to and made me think at moments too. The voices were all very good, except for 1 and I do not think they let the material get the best of them. I like that they used so many different aspects of the Sesame Street formula, but never did it seem overly childish. The swearing never feels like it was put there just to hear puppets swear, but each swear serves a purpose, usually to cover up embarrassment. Yes, the puppet sex is crazy and over the top, but so is the song that accompanies it and that is what makes it so much fun. I did not speak much about the puppetry because I know nothing about it. I did not have any complaints about the puppet movement, just the the idea of doubling up on voices for puppets, which I know was written that way. I do not back off of my thought that it was super annoying though.

Final Grade: B+

Duplicity

Tony Gilroy has quickly become a favorite screen writer of mine. He is responsible for The Bourne Trilogy and Michael Clayton, which I put in my top 3 movies from two years ago. I love how different those movies are from each other, but how tight and amazing they all are. With Michael Clayton he directed his first movie and he is back doing double duty with this Clive Owen and Julia Roberts movie. This movie looks nothing like Bourne or Clayton. It looked like it had more in Common with Ocean's 11 than anything else. Plus, it brings back the explosive coupling of Roberts and Owen from Closer. Essentially this had everything I could need in a movie: Tony Gilroy, an Ocean's 11 style plot and Clive Owen. Of course, this is often a problem for a movie: My overblown expectations.

Ray(Owen) and Claire(Roberts) meet in Dubai in 2003. They sleep together, she drugs him and steals some files. Ray has been thinking about that ever since. She was C.I.A and he was MI6. Ray is now working for a secret task force trying to steal secrets between two competing skin care product companies. He joined the team late but is the handler for the person this team has inside the offices of the competitor. It turns out the inside man is Claire and Ray finally gets a chance to confront the woman who drugged him after a night of passion. However, everything is not how it seems. Are Ray and Claire playing the two companies off each other to steal industry secrets and sell them for an insane price ($40 million)? Through a series of sexy and fun flashbacks, the story gets pieced together and of course, nothing is as it seems. Ray and Claire spend a lot of time discussing their relationship in exotic places as they lay in bed post sex and everything comes down to trust. Can they trust each other? Will Ray ever get passed Claire drugging in him Dubai? Will Claire ever think Ray is not going to get her back for that? All through it all there is corporate espionage as the two companies are locked in a chess match for superiority.

What Tony Gilroy does here is combine the things he knows with some new tricks. The Bourne trilogy had globe hopping and Duplicity has globe hopping. Michael Clayton had questions of ethics and corporate double dealings and was framed by a flashback. Duplicity is a web of flashbacks and also concerns corporate ethics. However, Bourne and Clayton were deadly serious and Duplicity is big fun. Owen and Roberts are put in great and sexy outfits, with expensive accessories as they saunter through gorgeous locales. The couple has a genuine chemistry and in this film it is played for all kind of sexy fun. I am not sure Roberts is the actress I would have picked for a sexy character, but she makes it work with the help of push up bras and sexy clothes. Gilroy is a very sure handed director, trusting the audience will go with him as he only gives us bits and pieces of the story to keep us interested. Each of the flashbacks offers a new nugget of information as to how we got to where we are when the movie starts and I loved the way the flashbacks came in and out with the cutting and fading of the screen and jumping back into the action.

Duplicity also gets a nice helping hand from Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti as the corporate giants at odds with each other. The title sequence with the two locked in a slow motion fight is pretty hilarious and sets up that this is meant to be a fun movie. Wilkinson is more of a cameo, but Giamatti is used very much in a supporting role and he is always having fun when he gets to play outside the typically Giamatti role of a lovable loser. Wilkinson gets a very nice monologue and he does his classy Tom Wilkinson thing with it, but this movie is won or lost by Owen and Roberts and their chemistry. You have to believe they love each other and you have to believe they could double cross the other at any moment for the movie to work and they succeed on both counts.

The dialog is not as cutesy as the trailer makes it seem, but it is a little cutesy, which I like. I like dialog that is just a bit too clever for it's own good. I like people that say cool things while looking cool and being cool. I enjoy a movie that looks like an awesome vacation with high stakes featuring people who always remain calm under pressure. Gilroy has not used much in the way of wit in his dialog before, except for the part of the devil in The Devil's advocate and sounds good coming from him. I like Gilroy's serious films, for sure, but it is nice to see someone be able to do something completely different.

I do have two complaints though. First off, the main story is about skin care products, which is lame and it makes it difficult to buy into the stakes at times. The main product gets the stakes on track, but until we know what the main product is, the whole thing seems a little too silly at times, for these two people to risk so much on. My second complaint is the ending. I do not hate it, but I do not like it either. I am okay with my expectations being messed with and I am okay with a total fake out, but there was something in the execution of the climax that did not work for me. I understand the movie ends up less about one thing and more about the other thing, but I still was left kind of indifferent.

Those two things aside, the ride was fun. Tony Gilroy is certainly someone I am going to continue to watch for and enjoy and Clive Owen and Julia Roberts make a pretty damn good team. Plus, any movie that has an entire scene dedicated to two characters talking about how awesome Clive Owen is, wins.

Final Grade: B+

I Love you, Man

Entertainment Weekly's website recently took a poll about Paul Rudd. Their thesis everyone loves Mr. Rudd. They were trying to find people who did not love him. By the end of the thing, only 6% of people said they did not love him. Rudd is just that likable actor. he does good movies and he does bad movies, but he is likable no matter what. He is funny, charming and giving as an actor and I just want to hang out with him. I am glad The Apatow Gang has adopted Rudd and given him his rightful place in American Comedy: The Bromance. If ever there was a dude that dudes would want to be best buds with it is Paul Rudd. It would make perfect sense for him to star in a movie about a best friend.

On a side note: I saw this movie on opening day at 11:00am. There were roughly 15 people in the theater and we were all guys sitting by ourselves, probably all wishing to be with our best friend.

Peter Klaven(Paul Rudd) has just popped the question and received the "Yes!" from his now fiance Zooey (Rashida Jones). The problem is, he has no one to tell. He does not have friends. At avery awkward and hilarious dinner, Peter's brother states that Peter was a girlfriend guy. After overhearing his fiance's friends worrying that Peter would be too clingy without any friends, Peter decides to get a best friend. he asks his gay brother(Andy Samburg) how to do it and what follows is a hilarious set of guidelines and an extremely funny dating montage. Peter has no luck on his man-dates, but at an Open House Peter is hosting to sell Lou Ferrigno's(Hulk on television) house, he meets a very cool and honest man named Sydney Fife(Jason Segal). The two become fast friends, bonding over fish tacos and beer. They share a love of the band Rush and spend their days in the Man Cave rocking out and being totally honest. Peter actually feels comfortable around Sydney which weirds him out and he is not sure how to react to it all. Zooey is not sure she likes Sydney because Peter starts ditching her to hang out with Sydney and Peter starts to question things he probably shouldn't.

The comedy in I Love you, Man comes from variety of places. First and foremost, Paul Rudd plays Peter as the most socially awkward person ever. Everything he says is an awkward attempt to be cool, from bad nicknames, to weird phone sign offs, Peter is a bundle of nerves. Rudd is amazing at this and makes Peter just pathetic enough that we feel bad, but not so pathetic it stops being funny. Segal, as Sydney, is out of the usual Segal role. Segal usually plays cry babies and when he shows up in this movie, it ignites with energy. Segal is super funny as the ultimate cool dude. he is chill, honest and very open with what he wants and what he thinks every guy wants. He takes risks and they often pay off. The cast is rounded out nicely with Samburg, J.K Simmons, Jane Curtain, Jaime Pressley, Jon Favreau and the aforementioned Jones. Everyone gets a chance for laughs, but Pressley and Favreau steal every scene as a married couple who seem to hate each other, but use it as a form of foreplay. Their snappy banter is always on point and keeps scene popping.

The second major comedy section comes from the conventional Romantic Comedy moments played for laughs because they are all about straight guys. Peter and Sydney have a MeetCute, Peter has a montage of bad dates and Peter and Sydney have a montage of awesome dates. The friendship causes a rift with the bride to be instead of the bride to be causing a rift in a friendship and there is even a wedding interuption. The whole thing cannot be an accident. It goes to show how much better Romantic Comedies would be if they were rated R and all featured straight guys doing Romantic Comedy style things. It also treats the women with respect. Zooey is a cool, smart and sexy girl and it is easy to see why Peter is in love with her. Jaime Pressley's Denise is a feisty sharp tongued minx who does not let her man walk all over her. These are not always common for Romantic Comedies, where women are often petty and whiny.

Explaining the funniest scenes (The dinner scenes) or reciting the best lines would not do the movie justice. You know what to expect going in and if that is your thing, you will be incredibly entertained. The movie is funny and touching and really makes having a best friend a very important thing in this world. Paul Rudd deserves to be a star and he and Segal have an unbelievably awesome chemistry (check out the Rush concert scene). There is a nice thought brewing in the movie, that to have a complete life, you need a wife, but you need a best friend to talk about things that you cannot say to your wife, because there are things that should not be said. If we could all be so lucky to have best friends like Paul Rudd and Jason Segal.

I also want to mention something that hopefully soon I will not have to mention anymore. Andy Samburg's character is gay, but he lacks the typical qualities given to homosexuals in film. In fact, he a dude's dude. he works out, drinks beer, likes sports and guy things. he just happens to like dudes. I wish the side plot of him searching for a straight guy friend to guy it up with was shown more because it is an interesting concept.

Final Grade: A

T.V. recap (Mar.15-21)

As I said during the first one of these, I will tweak it to find something that works for me, so I am going to try sort of what they do at tvguide.com and do a sort of top 10 moments things, but in no real order.

Also, there are possible spoilers for the shows mentioned which are: Big Bang Theory, How I met your Mother, Terminator, Friday Night Lights, The Office, Supernatural, Dollhouse, 24, Lost and Grey's Anatomy.

1. The comedy duo of The Big Bang Theory(BBT) and How I Met your Mother(HIMYM)- Every week these two shows offer hilarity but in such different ways and this week was no different. BBT brought hilarious nerd humor and Sheldon in the Flash costume was priceless. Then, HIMYM brought the funny with its usual brand of "friend humor." These are people we think we can be friends with and this week the best stuff lived with Marshall's old man night gown. AWESOME!

2. Most Welcome finish- It seems Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has finally finished telling the story of Riley and Jesse. It is about time! I was quickly losing interest in this show, but the final 15 minutes were great this week and I am so glad to see Riley gone and Jesse banished. Hopefully they can get back on track. I never in a million years thought I would say this, but I want more Brian Austen Green!

3. Best Television parents- Eric and Tammi Taylor on Friday night Lights. I love my parents but if something happened to them, I would want the Taylors to adopt me. the way they handled finding out about their 17 yr old daughter having sex was mature and touching. Kyle Chandler's Eric Taylor is amazing to watch every week and to watch his interaction with Matt Saracen was awesome. These parents have the most obnoxious daughter ever, and they find away to be patient, loving and smart. I really hope NBC works out a way to give me a 4th season.

4. Best disruption of the status quo- Idris Elba showing up on The Office. He probably hates Jim, hates the parties and wants to make the whole outfit professional. He is going to spark a fight between Kelly and Angela and he caused Michael to quit! The Office is always at its best when it is doing something unusual and not like a traditional sitcom and Idris Elba really helped do that and just how good was Steve Carrell at the end of the episode?

5. Best trend of the week- Hand to hand combat!: Jack Bauer goes fist to fist with a bad guy and does ninja like jumps and rolls; Two angels beat the crap out of each other over on Supernatural and Dollhouse uses kitchen utensils to help its kick ass fight. Fists were being thrown with fury this week and I loved every second of it, especially Jack Bauer and his evil counterpart. They were going to town on each other and it is rare to see Jack get beat up, even if it was briefly.

6. Best confrontation- Sawyer and Jack on Lost. This week was not doing anything for me because the time travel is starting to wear on my patience, but then Jack and Sawyer had their intense and awesome conversation. I love the role switching they have done and just how easily Sawyer has turned into a leader. The quiet subtext of these long time foes was outstanding. I do not think Matthew Fox gets enough credit for his Dr. Jack. I am really looking forward to seeing more of these two guys challenging each other.

7. Best breakdown- McDreamy. Grey's Anatomy gets points for finally letting Patrick Dempsey do something other than swoon over the personality deficient Meredith Grey. Dempsey is not going to win any acting awards, but I liked his performance this week. He is so used to just either being arrogant or love sick that he seems to like stretching himself here. The show was losing me, but I am interested to see where this story goes. I love the crazy hair and the sad eyes. sigh!

8. Best Mythology reveal- Supernatural. Dean actually caused the whole thing to be set off while he was in Hell!?!?! The fandom is going to go crazy on that one. Eric Kripke has serious balls. And to have Alastar reveal it with his gross voice and choking on his own blood. Supernatural has never been afraid to put the two guys through crazy hell, but this a whole new level of craziness for the two brothers. This season has been all about the myth arc and this twist is just going to raise the notches a bit.

9. Best Pay off- Dollhouse. Joss Whedon told me to give it 6 episodes and I did. The first five has flashes of awesome and I was willing to give Whedon the benefit of the doubt and damn am I glad I did. Whedon wrote the episode which gave it a touch of humor, but it was all business. We actually got a glimpse at the myth arc, there was a kick ass fight between Agent Ballard and Echo and two nice twists, including one I never saw coming. Totally awesome. The episode really kicked everything up and was cooking on all cylinders. I want to know everything about The Dollhouse now!!

10. Best reality television moment- Making the Band. The group, Day26, signs their brand new contracts while drunk. One is so drunk he can barely stay awake. I hope Diddy totally screws these guys for being that kind of condition while signing incredibly important documents. Awesome.

I know Battlestar Galactica ended this week, but I have not seen the show ever, but everything I have read points me to thinking it was a very bad series finale. It is such a shame when that happens.

Chuck was on hiatus this week, which made me sad. I worry the show is not going to be renewed and am more worried they will not have a chance to tie it up if it is not renewed.

Lastly, I checked out the series premiere of Better Off Ted because it is between Scrubs and Lost. I will probably keep watching it because of that, but the show was okay. I want more Portia De Rossi because she is awesome, but the show has a chance to grow on me.

Dude, Where's my taste?

I think the movie most people would be surprised to find out I love is Dude, Where's my Car?, and I cannot out right defend this love. I would never try and back up my love for this juvenile film with any sort of critical analysis except to say that there is a certain amount of respect I have for a movie willing to throw everything possible at the viewer. I should not at all like a movie that was birthed out of a rejected live action Beavis and Butthead script. I hated Beavis and Butthead as a cartoon and would probably hate it in live action. There is no real appealing part of Ashton Kutcher's on screen persona and the movie has two idiots as leads, which is tough to do. I prefer my slackers to be of the Harold and Kumar type, where they are smart, just unmotivated. Yet, through all of that I find myself cracking up every time I watch it.

To test that theory I recently rewatched the movie to see how it plays to me having not seen it for a few years. I am more than slightly embarrassed that it still gets me. The movie is about two guys who wake up with no memory of what they did the night before and now they are searching for their car to find the gifts they got their girlfriends for their anniversaries. As they walk the streets trying to find the car, they are confronted by a myriad of people who some what help them piece together their missing night. They are being sought after by a band of nerds, hot alien chicks, gay alien dudes, a transsexual stripper, their girlfriends, their boss and a bunch of jerks.

As far as the comedy goes it is very low brow, but not a lot of bathroom humor, or any really. There are a few sex jokes, but it is only a PG-13 movie, so it stays pretty clean, which is a bit surprising these days. Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott make a pretty good team, although I feel like Sean William Scott is slumming it too much here, but he looks like he is having fun doing it, which is a plus. The movie is littered with hot girls like Kristy Swanson and Jennifer Garner and at every turn is another ridiculous scenario that only works because the movie is getting more and more ridiculous and does not operate in a sense of reality. I would never ever recommend the film to anyone, but it makes me laugh.

I know I should never come down on anyone for liking stupid movies if I have this movie in my collection and love it the way I do. However, if your stupid movie features guys getting beat up by ostriches then I will allow you to like it. Stupid comedies are an interesting thing because different things appeal to different people and there are times when people just want to laugh at stupid things, I guess. I am not usually of this mind state but we all have our weaknesses. Perhaps I am need to lay off of the condemning people for liking stupid movies. I do not think it is really that people like stupid movies it is the desire they have to make me watch their stupid comedies. Do not push your weak ass drugs on me, man! Never once have I told someone they should watch Dude, Where's my Car so stop bullying me into watching Grandma's Boy and Borat! yes, I put Borat in the same category as Dude, Where's my Car. The only difference is, Borat, and it's fans, thought they were watching some kind of social experiment, when they were just watching a piece of crap movie. At least when I watch Dude, Where's my Car I know I am watching a piece of crap movie.

I want to leave you with some quotes from the movie that appeal to me:

Chester: How wasted were we last night?
Jesse: Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, we're on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.

[about the hot chicks]
Chester: Those double-crossing, sexy-sexy sluts!
[starts crying]

Wait a second, let's recap. Last night, we lost my car, we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper, and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we need to cut back on the shibbying.

So is this. It's a break-dancing stripper emergency!

Jesse: Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?
Chester: [opens cupboard] I'd say it's entirely possible.

And my favorite:

Jesse: I'm sensing something very Canadian about this place.

Race to Witch Mountain

There are three things that have the ability to fill me with the sense of wonder I had as a child: baseball, dinosaurs and flying saucers. Every time I step into a baseball stadium I feel like a kid and the same goes for dinosaurs and flying saucers. I was obsessed with dinosaurs when I was a kid and what kid did not watch Flight of the Navigator and wish it was them that was flying around in a talking flying saucer? This is the main reason i was excited to watch this movie. The trailer made the movie seem like a throwback movie. It was meant to evoke those childhood fantasies of flying saucers are awesome aliens. it is through nostalgia colored eyes that I went to view this movie and perhaps my opinion was achieved through the fog of memory.

Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson) is in some trouble. The kind of trouble is not fully known, but he has been in and out of jail his whole and maybe was a driver for a local mob boss. Bruno is a cab driver and it is alien convention time in las Vegas and he is tired of the costumes and crazy people. Somehow two kids end up in his cab and ask him to drive. The two kids, Sarah and Seth (Annasophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) have an odd speaking quality and appear to be wise beyond their years. Something is just not quite right. They have wads of cash and Bruno is hesitant, but takes them anyway. he is taking them way out in the middle of nowhere, when they are attacked by a few SUVs. Bruno assumes it is the mob boss, but we know it is actually The Government because the two kids are aliens and they want them. Bruno, being a slick driver disposes of the SUVs with the help of the superpowers of the two alien youth. Bruno follows the two kids as they go underground to find something and the trio is met by a crazy looking alien assassin. After Bruno tussles with the assassin and the trio escape, the kids tell him they are aliens. He does not want to believe them at first, but they show him their awesome powers and he believes. The two kids have to get back to their home planet with some research to replenish their planet before the alien government decides just to take over Earth. From here the trio pick up a scientist, Alex Friedmen (Carla Gugino) and the foursome races to Witch Mountain to find their ship.

With effects that are not entirely up to date, Race to Witch Mountain totally satisfied my desire for nostalgia. The flying saucer is totally cool looking and the alien kids have awesome powers that include mind reading, moving things with their minds and the ability to move through matter, DOPE! The alien assassin's suit is incredible looking and looks like a big guy in a costume. I love that it feels so old school. I was worried the assassin would be all CGI but I was pleasantly surprised. The action sequences which come at such a fast pace give us a nice chase, cool explosions and a ton of gun fire. They also offer an awesome sequence of bullet stopping. It has to be the most action packed PG movie ever. At 100 minutes the action does not have a whole lot of down time, except for brief expositional pauses to catch us up. Tackling his first action movie, director Andy Fickman shows a flair for pacing and young person style of explosions, which add to the child like wonder I felt.

As far as the acting goes, Dwayne Johnson (formally The Rock) shows he is not afraid to be the butt of the jokes, while still being Mr. tough guy. His 5 o'clock shadow and tight T-shirt show him as a manly man, but he is pretty good at playing scared, which is tough to do for a guy whose living was made being The Brahma Bull in the WWE. The two little children are serviceable, with the little girl getting more laughs in her delivery than the little too stubborn boy. For her part, Carla Gugino is far too attractive to plausibly be such a nerdy alien geek, but she plays the part well. She is very peppy and sparks interest in a character that could just be a throw away romantic counterpart for Mr. Johnson. The supporting Government people do their best to be the Government people we all know and love from movies like this and they do not take away from the task, which is to entertain me.

Alien movies typically portray aliens as either kind or evil, and this movie gives us both kinds of aliens. I like that aspect of it. Like any race of people, why wouldn't aliens have good and bad aliens. The movie plays mostly for action, but there are some laughs and Dwayne Johnson proves that he has what it takes to be a charismatic leading man. I do not have any real complaints except Garry Marshall played the crazy conspiracy guy, when it should have been played by someone who does crazy, like Jeffrey Tambor or Christopher Walken. Also, I could have done without the little coda during the credits. It is a Disney movie, so there is a sappy ending with hugs and tears and also being a Disney movie there has to be a dog, which got a lot of laughs from everyone but me, but all things considered, I got what I wanted. I wanted to be reminded of flying saucer movies of my youth and I got that. I got cool alien powers, cool explosions and awesome costumes, so I cannot complain at all.

Final Grade: B

The Last House on the Left (2009)

In 1972 Wes Craven made a movie with the tag line "just keep telling yourself it is just a movie" and that movie was The Last House on the Left. It was a remake of an Ingmar Bergman's Virgin Springs, without the religious undertones. Well, it has been over 30 years so it is time for a remake, never mind the 2005 movie Chaos. Wes Craven is back as a producer and the movie has a lame tag line "If bad people hurt someone you love, how far would you go to hurt them back?" The 1972 version was so brutal with violence that one would think the 2009 version would have to be even crazier, which would be hard to do and still make a point. Now, I never would have seen this movie if the trailer had not been amazing, but since it was, I saw it and so I want you all to see the trailer too.




First off, that song. Oh that cover. Haunting and beautiful and totally working with the images.

After watching this trailer, I had questions and it seems like the director knew all of my questions and answered a few of them in the opening minutes of the movie. The daughter, who in the trailer, is swimming with a bullet wound and seems to be able to hold her breath forever, is trying to be an Olympic swimmer. Case closed. The father, who utters the brilliant line "You are paralyzed from the neck down. I didn't have any rope or duct tape" is a doctor which answers my question of how did he know what to sever. Of course, the end of the trailer is obviously the final scene in the movie, which usually I hate because it makes a movie anti-climatic, but where that moment goes is so awesome, it actually made me excited that I knew a guy was having his head put in a microwave.

The Last House on the Left is an interesting slasher movie for many reasons, but mostly because we are actually rooting for the good guys. Typically we watch slasher flicks to watch Jason, Freddy or Michael kill people in interesting ways. This time we are cheering for a married couple picking off a larger group of bad guys. Also, the first 45 minutes really sets up just how bad these guys are. The rape scene of the daughter is truly brutal, not because it graphically shows things, but because the camera is so tight on the shot and all we see is the girl crying, clawing and we only hear the thrusting. It is nearly impossible to watch, but because they are so bad we find a sense of catharsis in this family exacting their revenge. And, make no mistake about it, these parents do whatever they need to do to get their revenge and the audience cheers when they do. It is weird to care about the good guys and it is weird to watch a slasher flick where we know everyone is actually human.

This is not Saw or Hostel, but there is a pretty large amount of gore. It is not torture porn though. In fact, by the time the parents start going after the bad guys the movie only has about 25 minutes left and it moves very quickly. The shaky camera stuff gets a bit too much, but that is becoming a staple of running through the Forrest scenes. The acting is quite good all the way around, which is rare for a movie like this. Even Monica Potter, typically awful, does a good job, especially in the scene where she is pretending to flirt with the guy who helped rape her daughter. Garrett Dilahunt, as the most crazy evil bad guy is so creepy, but it is not just a one note creepiness. He shows you layer 1 and then delves deeper into crazy and gives you new layers. There is a car crash in slow motion that gives you an idea of what a pinball goes through as the car hits one side against a tree, then another side into another tree before splitting head on with another tree. It is spectacular.

All of that being said, I had hopes for a little more conversation between the parents about the morality of it all. No one would blame the parents for wanting to kill the people who raped, beat and shot their daughter, but the transition is almost too fast for me. I wanted to see more of a gradual build up I guess or just a sentence of hesitation. Maybe the lack of conversation is the point. Maybe the moral black and grey area the movie operates in it is the point. We can never know our capacity for hate, murder and revenge until someone we love is taken from us, or nearly taken from us. if we lived in a creepy house in the woods and the power was out and we were sharing a house with the group of people who raped our daughters, would we not be inclined to murder? Would we not want to hear this evil man bed for his life? Wouldn't we want to put his head in a microwave?

Final Grade: B

This week in television (March 8-14)

Top 5 moments

5. How I Met Your Mother- I love when we get to see college Ted because college Ted is such a douche. This week's episode featured the line "They were douching it up douche style." Really, two of the best uses of the word douche ever.

4. The Big Bang Theory- The 4 nerds are on a train with Summer Glau! Summer is like a nerd Goddess being a terminator and on a Joss Whedon show. The whole thing is quite hilarious. Summer is a good sport.

3. Friday Night Lights- Matt Saracen lost his starting QB job, but gets a job as a 3rd string receiver. In the first play off game he catches a pass that sets up a touchdown, lays down a block that leads to a touchdown and catches the pass that seals the game. "Clear eyes, full heart, Can't lose," indeed!

2. 24- Unfortunately I knew someone was dying this week, but I guessed wrong. Not only did they kill off a significant character, they did it 11 minutes into the episode! The death paired with Bauer's quiet breakdown over the death backed by the silent clock prove that 24 still has the goods.

1. E.R- I stopped watching this show years ago, but the return of Doug Ross, Carol Hathaway and Peter Benton was cause for celebration. It is awesome of George Clooney to come back to the show that set him on his path to stardom and the episode used him perfectly, but the highlight for me was Eriq La Salle and Noah Wyle having 3 scenes. The Carter-Benton relationship was always a favorite of mine and it was nice to get some closure on it.

The Worst show of the week

The L Word- Showtime did this show no favors by giving it a lame 8 episode final season. Season 5 was so strong and it is sad to see the show go out on such a whimper. Season 5 showed the struggle to make a mainstream lesbian movie and season 6 kind of dropped the ball on the aftershock of that failure. The series finale was way too much about showing us all of these minor characters coming back, but it was messy. I admit that this show was always hit and miss, but it deserved to go out in a much stronger fashion. I never really forgave the show for getting rid of Carmen, but to add insult to injury they put Shane with Jenny for the final season. Not cool The L Word.

Kyle's gratuitous hotness award

Chuck- Sarah and Chuck, in their fake relationship, have to sleep in the same room and for some unknown reason, Sarah has to sleep in pink boy shorts. It is meant to give funny reactions from Chuck, but mostly it is just to make me happy and bring in male viewers for serious hotness.


P.S The CW had issues on Thursday night, so I have not had a chance to see Supernatural from this week. Well, I saw the first 20 minutes and they were awesome, but then the channel went black. BOOO!

P.P.S Joss Whedon has promised that episode 6 of Dollhouse(This coming week) will be a game changer so hopefully that show will get to where I think it can go.

Escape from New York (Throwback Thursday)

I always have a hard time watching Escape from New York. I want to take nothing away from Carpenter's film, but every time I watch it I keep thinking how much better it could be now. I do not want a remake, I just wish this movie had not been made yet. The story is so interesting and has been gutted for dozens of movies now, but there is something in the execution that has always left me feeling a little unsure of what I think.

The year is 1997 and crime became such a major issue that prisons were not working, so they turned Manhattan into a giant prison. There are no guards on the inside and Manhattan has a giant wall surrounding it. If you try to escape, you will be killed. Snake Plissken(A very growling Kurt Russell) is a former military specialist who became disillusioned with America and turned to a life of crime. He is caught and is about to be sent to his Manhattan prison when he is given a chance to wipe his record clean. All he has to do is save The President(Donald Pleasense with a British accent(?)), whose plane went down in Manhattan. Snake is given a walkie-talkie, a gun and a tracker and sent in by himself. While in Prison, we find out that everyone knows Snake and everyone assumed Snake was dead. The President is being held by Duke (Issac Hayes) who essentially runs the prison. With the help of Brain(Harry Dean Stanton), Snake attempts to weave his way through the prison to save Mr. President.

There are so many things to love about this movie: The set pieces, the awesome use of colors, the story and the random casting. They recreate a broken down Manhattan, with only the opening shot actually being NY and I love how the greens bleed into the shots as some sort of ominous sign. The Manhattan world is incredibly interesting with crazy costumes and a brilliant moment involving male prisoners dressed as women putting on a musical. Kurt Russell is a total bad ass with his low growl and eye patch and the supporting cast does alright, although Issac Hayes should have been played by someone with real chops. I love that Ernest Borgnine shows up as a cabbie for no other reason than it is Ernest Borgnine playing a cabbie. The pacing is excellent; there is rarely a moment when something exciting isn't happening. However, I am kind of spoiled with action movies and the guns firing and hand-to-hand fighting come off as very 1980s weak.

The gun shots all sound like they belong out of some space movie and the score is super cheesy sounding. I guess it is supposed to sound futuristic and of course, as 1997 is now 11 years ago, we know that 1997 was nothing like the future we imagine when we say "future." The hand-to-hand fighting looks awful , especially the big wrestling match. I wish it had looked more real. I know I am supposed to appreciate the movie for being what it was in 1981, but I think the story is so interesting, and part of it are so good, I just wish the movie could have a more real or gritty feel to it. I don't want to hear bullet shots and then have the guy getting shot turning like he was told to wait 3 seconds after the shot, and then act like he got hit.

I know, as a film geek, I am just supposed to accept these cult classics and praise them. I want to heap praise on this movie, but I am just never as impressed by it as I want to be or feel I am supposed to be. There is certainly a good movie in here and I do not want to sound like I do not enjoy the 1980s version of movies, but I am so fascinated that I want something to look more fresh. There was a movie released last year called Doomsday that was very much an homage to this movie and I really liked it because it was a more modern looking version of this interesting story. Like I said, I do not really want a remake, although I am not opposed to remakes on principal, I only wish John Carpenter had not made this movie so someone now could.

On a total side note, it is kind of difficult to watch in a post 9/11 world because the two towers are important to the movie.

Final Grade: C+

Things to love and hate about my job

As most/all of you know, I am currently on my second tour of duty working at a movie theater. I have spent nearly 4 years total working in the business of a movie theater. Also, as most of you know, I am annoyed by much and feel like ranting often. What follows is a combination of those two things. This will not be a rant aimed at my specific situation, but working at a movie theater in general, as seen through my color changing eyes. It will be in bullet form, but there is no particular order except things I love will be grouped together and things I hate will be grouped together.

Things I hate about my job

-People showing up late for a movie. I understand that people do not like previews, but there is no reason to be late for a movie. The opening sequences of the movie will almost always matter and set up the scope of a film. I also hate "Oh well, I didn't miss anything important, did I?" Yes, you did you moron.

- With a long line people coming up to the register not knowing what they want. You have been line for a while now and we are a movie theater. We have candy, popcorn, nachos and hot dogs! It is not like ordering off a menu at a restaurant. It is not a complicated process.

- Asking for butter to be layered. I have been to more movie theaters than you have and they all layer butter as a policy now. STOP ASKING!!

- "I want a soda." I need to know size and kind otherwise it is just a waste of words. Telling me you want a soda does me no good whatsoever. Be specific, or else I will choose for you and I promise, the concoction I of soda I choose will not taste good.

- You do not need 7,000 napkins. You do not use them all and you are just wasting them. Stop it, now!

- The question "Can I get a medium and a large?" There are still about 4 questions I have to ask, which makes your initial question pointless. Stop wasting my time, idiot.

- After looking at our candy, this question "Is this all the candy you have?" No, I keep the good stuff hidden in the back but you have to know the secret code and pass a retina scan. Why would we hide candy? We want to sell it to you!!

- The question "What movies are you playing?" In order to come into our theater, you walked under a GIANT marquee that named our movies, all of the posters that say "now playing" and most likely our time board which lists our movies. We are not trying to keep it a secret. I promise we want you to know.

- Anyone who brings someone under the age of 14 to an R rated movie. There are no exceptions for me here. There is no reason for an 8 year old to watch Rambo. There is no reason for a 13 year old to watch Watchmen. If you do this, be prepared for me to judge your parenting skills. You are a horrible parent.

- This one is slightly new: Fatties going fat. Fat people, do not get a large popcorn and tell me to drench it butter, then get a large soda, candy and nachos. We fat people have a hard enough time as is, we do not need fat people fatting out in public.

- Any sentence that begins "Gimme" or "Give me." It just sounds so rude and I do not respond well to rude.

- Giant groups of teenagers with mixed sexes. Guys on their own and girls on their own generally listen to me when I ask them to be quiet, but in mixed company, the guys feel the need to look cool and the girls all act like idiots.

- Finally, the usual cell phone hate. If you are so popular that you need to be on your phone in a movie, do not go to the movie.

The Things I love about my job

- I get to watch free movies, eat free popcorn and drink free soda.

- I get to know so much about movies.

- People are constantly asking me for my opinions on movies. It carries such power.

- My room is lined with awesome movie posters.

- I spend 4 or 5 hours a day talking movies with co-workers or customers.

- I get to talk to Larry the film guy. He is much funnier and cooler than Larry the Cable Guy.

- There is a power in threading and starting a movie.

- Finding people who love movies.

- Midnight crowds in the summer are awesome.

- Thursdays. I really like changing posters, times, movies and all of that good stuff.

My favorite question to get asked

- "Do you guys have a bathroom." I like to answer "No, we do not" and just watch them for a few seconds while they figure out what they are going to do. Never mind that both sides have a sign that is pointing downstairs and says restrooms. It is really entertaining to watch people get really confused at a building not having bathrooms.

The stupidest question I have ever heard

This guy walked in and asked "Are you guys a movie theater?" I guess all of the MOVIE posters were not a dead give away. What the hell else are we going to be? The building says State Theater and we are lined with movie posters!! Of course he was excited for Fast and Furious.