As most/all of you know, I am currently on my second tour of duty working at a movie theater. I have spent nearly 4 years total working in the business of a movie theater. Also, as most of you know, I am annoyed by much and feel like ranting often. What follows is a combination of those two things. This will not be a rant aimed at my specific situation, but working at a movie theater in general, as seen through my color changing eyes. It will be in bullet form, but there is no particular order except things I love will be grouped together and things I hate will be grouped together.
Things I hate about my job
-People showing up late for a movie. I understand that people do not like previews, but there is no reason to be late for a movie. The opening sequences of the movie will almost always matter and set up the scope of a film. I also hate "Oh well, I didn't miss anything important, did I?" Yes, you did you moron.
- With a long line people coming up to the register not knowing what they want. You have been line for a while now and we are a movie theater. We have candy, popcorn, nachos and hot dogs! It is not like ordering off a menu at a restaurant. It is not a complicated process.
- Asking for butter to be layered. I have been to more movie theaters than you have and they all layer butter as a policy now. STOP ASKING!!
- "I want a soda." I need to know size and kind otherwise it is just a waste of words. Telling me you want a soda does me no good whatsoever. Be specific, or else I will choose for you and I promise, the concoction I of soda I choose will not taste good.
- You do not need 7,000 napkins. You do not use them all and you are just wasting them. Stop it, now!
- The question "Can I get a medium and a large?" There are still about 4 questions I have to ask, which makes your initial question pointless. Stop wasting my time, idiot.
- After looking at our candy, this question "Is this all the candy you have?" No, I keep the good stuff hidden in the back but you have to know the secret code and pass a retina scan. Why would we hide candy? We want to sell it to you!!
- The question "What movies are you playing?" In order to come into our theater, you walked under a GIANT marquee that named our movies, all of the posters that say "now playing" and most likely our time board which lists our movies. We are not trying to keep it a secret. I promise we want you to know.
- Anyone who brings someone under the age of 14 to an R rated movie. There are no exceptions for me here. There is no reason for an 8 year old to watch Rambo. There is no reason for a 13 year old to watch Watchmen. If you do this, be prepared for me to judge your parenting skills. You are a horrible parent.
- This one is slightly new: Fatties going fat. Fat people, do not get a large popcorn and tell me to drench it butter, then get a large soda, candy and nachos. We fat people have a hard enough time as is, we do not need fat people fatting out in public.
- Any sentence that begins "Gimme" or "Give me." It just sounds so rude and I do not respond well to rude.
- Giant groups of teenagers with mixed sexes. Guys on their own and girls on their own generally listen to me when I ask them to be quiet, but in mixed company, the guys feel the need to look cool and the girls all act like idiots.
- Finally, the usual cell phone hate. If you are so popular that you need to be on your phone in a movie, do not go to the movie.
The Things I love about my job
- I get to watch free movies, eat free popcorn and drink free soda.
- I get to know so much about movies.
- People are constantly asking me for my opinions on movies. It carries such power.
- My room is lined with awesome movie posters.
- I spend 4 or 5 hours a day talking movies with co-workers or customers.
- I get to talk to Larry the film guy. He is much funnier and cooler than Larry the Cable Guy.
- There is a power in threading and starting a movie.
- Finding people who love movies.
- Midnight crowds in the summer are awesome.
- Thursdays. I really like changing posters, times, movies and all of that good stuff.
My favorite question to get asked
- "Do you guys have a bathroom." I like to answer "No, we do not" and just watch them for a few seconds while they figure out what they are going to do. Never mind that both sides have a sign that is pointing downstairs and says restrooms. It is really entertaining to watch people get really confused at a building not having bathrooms.
The stupidest question I have ever heard
This guy walked in and asked "Are you guys a movie theater?" I guess all of the MOVIE posters were not a dead give away. What the hell else are we going to be? The building says State Theater and we are lined with movie posters!! Of course he was excited for Fast and Furious.
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