I wish I had a more clever title for this little essay/rant. I feel like I kind of give my entire argument away in the title, but oh well. It is my blog I can do what I want.
In less than a year, I have watched 3 movies in the 3D format and there are another few left to come out this year. Theaters are slowly being upgraded to include a digital/3D auditorium, with Reel-D (the biggest 3D company) promising to put over 2500 3D ready screens and projectors in Cinemark theaters across the country. This is a trend that is not going away and I guess I have to reserve myself to this fact. I want to be engaged by the 3D. I do. I want to understand this idea of movies seeming to be more interactive, but I just cannot get behind it. I know, I have seen 3 of them so it seems like I am behind it, but trust me, I am not.
Last summer was my first experience in 3D in a real movie theater. I went and watched Journey to the Center of the Earth. I reviewed it and said that it would have been worthless without the 3D. I still stand behind that, but I also do not think the movie is worth anything, even in 3D. There have been better dinosaur movies made and better Brendan Frasier movies made. The fundamental problem with 3D movies is that they have to feature enough 3D effects to satisfy those who paid the extra $2.50 for the glasses. This means yo-yos, kites, and other things that jump. Can it work? Sure it can. "Journey" featured a nice attack fish jumping at me and My Bloody Valentine had a really nice detached jaw and blood flying at me. Very cool. Yet, The new Friday the 13th featured better jumps without 3D. However, I would forgo those "jumps" to not have to deal with the lame stuff that jumps out as well.
What brought this idea to the forefront of my brain was Coraline. It seems as if I am in the minority of not enjoying the movie, but it goes beyond just being a fairly boring movie. Right in the beginning of the movie there is a cool needle 3D effect. Then, for an hour and 40 minutes I get nothing worth a damn. Sure, the colors are pretty, but the colors would be just as pretty without the annoying glasses. On top of that, there were times I took the glasses off and the screen was not blurry, so I paid extra for a movie that was not even fully in 3D. What kind of crap is that? This spring I refuse to watch Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D and in the summer, I will watch Up the old school way. The only way to get rid of 3D is to not support the technology.
I understand resisting this change makes me seem old and crabby, but there was a reason 3D came and went 2 other times! It can work for horror movies and maybe for kid movies, but even then, I just do not need it. Movies are just fine as is. I do not reject technology that can enhance storytelling or character. I have embraced every kind of CGI there is. I have no problem with it when it works. I just have not seen a viable reason for 3D movies. I know the idea of 3D will always be a spectacle and used for spectacle movies, but I like spectacle movies! I cannot wait for Final Destination 4, but I do not really want to watch it in 3D. There is not really any surprise to 3D. I know that things are flying at me and I have a pretty good idea of what those things will be.
In closing, I am not out to convert people to the anti 3D movement. I understand people are too stupid to sit and watch intelligent movies and need this extra stimulation. I know kids will be amused by the things coming at them, but I think 3D has a place. It is called Disneyland. I do not bring my complex plotted movies to Disneyland, so keep your Disneyland out of my movie theaters. it is that simple!
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