Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Fantastic Mr. Fox and Nightmare on Elm Street



I cannot recall seeing a trailer that goes from smart funny, to semi serious to totally silly in the first 30 seconds and this one does that and it does it brilliantly. It starts with with a quasi-deep conversation, with a joke, then it goes serious and then BAM, silly fox eating. Wes Anderson has always kind of walked a fine line between too smug and just the right amount of smug, but who knows how this will turn out, but it looks wonderful. I love the shot of the waterfall in the background and I think the voice work is going to be top notch. Also, how does not love lines like "The Cuss you will." Then to wrap it all up, Owen Wilson's perfectly nonsensical relaying of a perfectly nonsensical sport. Oh Wes Anderson, you sure know how to hook me, don't you. I also think the animation looks incredible. I could do without the praises from critics, but it is a nice touch, as well.




The problem with horror movie trailers is that they are, essentially the same thing. With slasher flicks, there will be a lot of shots of hot young people running, flashes of weapons, and these hot young people covered in sweat and/or blood. The images will be fast and loud and roughly interchangeable with every other horror movie. In that regard, this trailer is unspectacular. I love the casting of Jackie Earl Haley as Freddy Kreuger and I like the idea of the remake on principal. Freddy's movies were all about the effects and imagine what they can do now. I love the homages to the original, with the jump rope, the little song and the shot of the hand in the tub. It makes me think the makers of this movie have some sort of respect for the material. However, what I really love in the trailer is the opening. I just assumed the first trailer for this movie would be a nightmare and then a girl would wake up with cuts in her shirt. Nope, instead we see an alive Freddy running away from an angry mob. Nice touch. The trailer does not excite me, but it does not turn me off either. It just kind of exists, in the way all horror movie trailers exist.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Pandorum


You could easily chalk this movie up to one I would have never seen if I did not see it for free. It looked like such a generic Resident Evil/Event Horizon rip off and neither Resident Evil or Event Horizon are very good movies, in my opinion. Being produced by the guys who brought us Resident Evil did not help matters. The movie did have one very good thing going for it: Ben Foster. If you do not know who he is, do yourself a favor and rent 3:10 to Yuma and Hostage. Dude plays crazy as an art form and from the trailer, he was going to do some of his crazy all over this film.

The year is something like 2174 or some time in the very far future. Resources on Earth have run out and it is time to find a new place to live. They find a planet they call Tanis and plan to inhabit it. The story picks up with Officer Bower(Foster) waking up after a Han Solo style frozen nap. He has no recollection of who or where he is. He is on a space ship of some sort and he knows a lot about it, and it is obvious he is an officer of something. Next, Commander Payton(Dennis Quaid) wakes up and he is the captain of the ship. They do not have any clue as to what is going on because the flight team that came before them was supposed to be there when they woke up to walk them through the details, but they can find no one on board. Bower heads out into the meat of the ship to try and turn the power back on. However, they are not alone on the ship. First Bower encounters a sexy Russian action chick, then he meets some weird creatures of immense speed, high pitch screams and a hunger for human flesh. Then, there is the Asian ninja and finally an old crazy black man. Bower, the Russian, the Asian and the Black Man are racing against these creatures to get power on the ship, while Payton deals with another survivor slowly going crazy.

For the first 40-50 minutes, Pandorum is a thrilling, claustrophobic, loud, creepy and interesting movie. There were moments when my heart was genuinely racing and I got excited and prepared for a thrill ride. The contrast of light and dark and quiet and loud are so effective, there is never a comforting moment. It gave me great hope that this movie would turn out to be awesome. Foster and Quaid have a nice chemistry as they try and figure out what the hell is going on. The early flashbacks added something to the story, but were vague enough to remain interesting and the fact that they were caked in light made me think that the past and the present were completely separate from each other. In a scene where Foster is crawling through ducts and panicking like crazy, I felt I was in the ducts thanks to great, close up camera shots and just the ambient sound of breathing.

Then, it all goes completely, horrifically wrong. You can tell where it goes wrong too, because the Asian Ninja appears and he fights the Russian Action Chick. Then they all join forces and nonsense ensues. The ship they are on is like a Noah's Arc, but we never see any of the animals, really. Oh and because we have to know what is going on, the movie provides us a crazy person who may not be crazy at all because he knows what is going on, so we get to pause for exposition city. However, we get exposition from two different people and the director wants it to be more exciting so he keeps jumping from 1 to the other. Very exciting, indeed!

Pandorum refers to a cabin fever style of craziness brought on by the Han Solo freezing, maybe. There is a flashback to another ship that shows that Pandorum causes someone to lose control and kill everyone. Payton believes the young man he finds starts showing signs of Pandorum, but Payton himself may be experiencing pandorum, but at this point, I stopped caring.

The creatures are fairly generic zombie looking creatures, except the baby looks like a creepy albino bat. They are loud menacing creatures, but when the movie starts to show them more and give them more to do, I lost interest. Creatures like that are better in the outskirts of a story. Of course, Pandorum is a split personality movie. It feels two stories slammed into one. And then the final 25 minutes could possibly have negated a Major part of the story, leaving the viewer with the impression that the creatures were not real. However, if they were not real, what killed the Asian Ninja? Also, there is no explanation for how the creatures came to be, which is not really a problem for me, but I am sure it would bug others.

When Pandorum ended, I was disappointed. The first third of the movie had really set me up to enjoy it and then it spun out of control, with no one there to correct it. Foster doe snot get to do his crazy stuff enough and the Russian Action Chick was not sexy for long enough to make an impression and what is the point of a Russian Action Chick if she is not sexy? There are 2 or 3 twists that might keep people interested, but I called 1 of them and the other, while kind of a shock, came too late to matter for me. Considering I would have never seen the movie, I cannot say it was horrible because in order for me to come out disappointed, it had to build up some good will and it did, it just ran out before the movie ended.

Final Grade: C-

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Television recap (Sept. 19th-26th)

Now that the television season is pretty much in full swing, I am going to attempt to run down my top 10 shows/moments of the week and then maybe mention a few other random things and probably a disappointment or two. Again, this might get some tweaking in the coming weeks.

10. Melrose Place/ Vampire Diaries- These are both shows I was unsure about when they started, but 3 weeks in and I am totally hooked on both of them. Melrose has a pretty interesting murder mystery arc going on, mixed with a bunch of hot people. Vampire Diaries has some funny writing, and a cool villain oh and hot people. I imagine that if I get too busy one of these shows would still be the first ones to go, but for now I am having a good time with these CW shows. Vampire is in no danger of being cancelled and The CW has ordered more episodes of Melrose, so it should not be in any danger, either.

9. The combo of Modern Family and Cougar Town- Okay, this is mostly for Modern Family. Cougar Town had a few laughs, but feels very forced being saved by Courtney Cox spending ample amounts of time in her underwear. By contrast, Modern Family had me rolling at times. It is a little too close to The Office in tone, but still very funny. The acting is really great, especially by the gay couple and I think attention has been paid to each of the main characters. I am most taken by the little Hispanic kid, but the whole thing worked in the first episode. There were a lot of great lines, but the best moment was when one of the gay fathers presented their new kid while playing "The Circle of Life."

8. How I met your Mother- The premiere episode may not have been the funniest episode, but How I met your Mother has always been a fine balance of laughs and story and this week, I think story won. I love any chance we get to see Douchey Ted and Professor Ted is certainly the easiest way for us to see Ted at his doucheiest. I love that he was in the wrong class and that it was Barney's advice that kept him in the wrong room for far too long. However, Robin and Barney were the focal point of the premiere and I liked the way they handled it. Neither one really wants to admit they want to be in a relationship and in true Lilly fashion, Lilly locks them in a room until they have "the talk." The ending was sweet and honestly, any opportunity for Neil Patrick Harris to act his ass off, is great for me.

7. Glee- Everyone else I know seemed to really love this episode, but not me. It was probably my least favorite of the show so far. The musical numbers are my favorite thing in the show and so an entire episode built around essentially 1 number, was lame. I loved watching the football team do the "Single Ladies" dance, but The West Side Story moment and the Celine Dion song did nothing for me. Also, teenage pregnancy is something I loathe in television, almost as much as I loathe the fake pregnancy from the annoying wife. This show pretty much lives and dies by the music, so this week, it just died.

6. The Emmy's- I rarely actually care about the awards in these shows, which is good because I would have been disappointed all over the place. What matters to me are the host and presenters. Now I was pretty much primed to enjoy this show because of NPH. He was a wonderful host. he was funny, but not too funny that he pulled focus and he was an endearing host. He also had a wonderful opening musical number, where he impressively got the names of a lot of television channels. As far as the presenters go, Ricky Gervais really killed with his bit as a presenter. He was funny and charming and will certainly host something in very near future.

5. Community- It is official, I love this show. Joel McHale is a wonderful lead and adding Ken Jeong as the Asian Spanish teacher just killed me. The episode had a lot of great stuff, from college kids pretending to be activists, to what friendship is and some great lines from all the surrounding cast, but the climax of the episode was perfect. Chevy Chase and Joel McHale acting out some epic story while we see it in slow motion over Aimee Mann's "Wise up." It got me with some serious laughter.

4. Grey's Anatomy- I am not sure how long I will watch this season because at times I feel like I watch this out of routine than any real reason, but this week had some great stuff. As usual, the acting from the supporting characters was excellent, especially Chandra Wilson and Kevin McKidd. The first hour was some of the toughest television to watch because of how depressing it was, but was also very realistic in how different people react to death. What I also loved was how quickly the passed time. It means the show does not have to focus for a long a time on George's death. It was quite a great move by the writers of the show.

3. Dollhouse- I am sure there are people who were not wowed by the opening but I really loved it. Eliza Dushku got to kick some ass and look gorgeous as a bride. Then, The show moved forward a bit with the Topher and Whiskey stuff. I am sad to see Amy Acker go, even if it is only for a short time. I know she has a new series, so maybe she is gone for good, but she went out with a bang, doing great acting. Having the former Agent Ballard as Echo's new handler is a nice touch and the ending put, yet another twist into the nature of the show. I am already along for the ride here. I think the show is going to be a slow boil for a little while and then explode in the back half, which I like. Not every episode needs to be on fire.

2. FlashForward- HOLY CRAP!! I was hooked about 30 seconds in and then the show went ahead and hooked me even further with every passing minute. I want to know what is going on and I think they gave us enough tidbits about is what is going on to make me think the writers have an actual idea what they are doing. I loved the quick and disorienting flashes and I thought Joseph Fiennes did some great acting work. The show was twisty throughout but then they really threw me for a loop in the final moments and it just makes the show seem even cooler and more interesting. The effects were great and the destruction looked epic. If this is the new Lost, it started with the same kind of bang that lost did. This could be a whole lot of fun!

1. Supernatural- Get used to seeing this show towards the top of my recaps. I. Love. This. Show. Sam and Dean have gone their separate ways and the opening moments of the episode really showed us that nicely. I actually really liked the Dean and Castiel dynamic, as Dean actually had some fun, which he realized never happened with Sam. For Sam's part, he is trying to figure out how to live life without hunting and it is not proving to be easy. Dean, as per usual, had the best lines, Sam had the best angst and then the show moved its mythology forward by giving us Lucifer and Sam having a conversation. Since season 1 the show was building towards Sam and Dean being on opposite sides, but this season has raised the stakes in crazy ways! Oh man, I know this is supposed to be the final season, so anything goes!!

A few random thoughts:

The Big Bang Theory- This is usually one of my favorite shows, but the premiere left me very cold and unsure of what I think going forward. I did not like the way the entire "summer" break ended up being for no purpose other than making Penny realize she wanted Leonard. I really did not like the way the friends acted towards each other and I hated how easily they wrapped it up at the end. I know it is a sitcom and I should not concern myself so much with those things, but I hated everything about the episode.

The Office- I might be getting over this show. The premiere was pretty funny, I guess, but this episode just did nothing for me. I might just be done with Michael Scott and his awkwardness. I am going to give the show a few more weeks because I love the Pam and Jim dynamic but nothing else in the show really has me at the moment.

So you think you can Dance is the opposite of American Idol in that the audition process just is not very exciting.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Anytime Movies week #4


An Anytime Movie is a movie you can put on at anytime and be perfectly content. They are movies that do not depend on mood. You do not worry about how long they are, or anything else. They suit you at anytime. They are rainy day movies, or I-am-not-doing-anything-else movies. They are go to standards. This collection does not represent my all time favorite movies, but the movies I can put on and be immediately happy I did. Yes, two are featured in my all time favorites, but that is not the point. These are the movies that do something to me every time. Movies I never tire of. I have 25 of these movies and for the next five Sundays I will be rolling out 5 of them. They will be semi-grouped into genre or have a connection in some way.


It is time for Horror movie week here on Anytime movies. Once again, these are in no particular order.

1. Final Destination 2- I pick the second one because I find it to be the most Final Destination-y of all of the Final Destination movies. Perhaps I am twisted picking a movie like this as an Anytime Movie, but so be it. This installment begins with the best car crash I have ever seen in a movie. It is long, bloody, interested, creative and totally kick ass. Then there are awesome deaths like someone being smashed by falling glass, a body being sliced up by a loose telephone wire and all other sorts of craziness. The entire series does creative things with the antagonist being death, but for my money, the second one is tops!

2. Cloverfield- I know this is not exactly a horror film, but where else are monster movies supposed to go? I know the complaints about this film, but I do not understand them. I love watching every second of it. I find the shaky camera to be very effective in this film, and I find our cameraman pretty charming. Yes, there is a central suspension of disbelief one has with a movie where a character has to have a camera, but I think it is effective. I love all the glimpses of the creature and then I thought the pay off was nice. I was worried they were never going to show it full on, but when they did, I was impressed with how it looked. I will never forget seeing the first teaser for this movie in a full movie theater and for that reason alone, it is worth pulling off the shelf and watching every so often.

3. Halloween(1978)- This is the first horror movie I remember watching. I was 9 years old at the time and far too young for such a film, but I was enthralled! From Halloween, I went deep into horror films and to this day still enjoy a good slasher flick. Michael Myers' killing spree left me shaken, scared and excited. I still feel that when I watch the movie. Carpenter's opening sequence is a brilliant showcase of how to hide a cut to give the feel of a single tracking shot and from there, he keeps up the intense frightening ambiance with the help of the best horror movie theme and great creepy shots of Myers cut into all of these seemingly happy moments. It is still a wonder to behold, in my opinion.

4. Scream- This is probably my favorite scary movie these days. I will always say Halloween is because of how much it meant to me at that age, but Scream is the perfect scary movie. It is absolutely hilarious in its winking knowledge of horror, but it also has some great jumps and scares. It has a killer soundtrack, interesting shots and a wonderful climax. I love the reveal of the killers and everything that leads up to it. As a series, Scream is wonderful, but the first movie just sets everything off perfectly. Any movie with an opening sequence as good as Scream's is probably going to be a winner. However, the scares are not the only thing that make it. It is so difficult to properly blend horror and comedy and Scream strikes the perfect balance of laughs and screams.

5. The Grudge- To be honest, I have a hard time defending this choice, but something about it just scares the crap out of me. And for that reason, I pull it off the shelf randomly. It is not particularly interesting in a visual way and the score is not terribly interesting, but Sarah Michelle Gellar is so committed that I cannot help but get wrapped up inside this movie. I get freaked out by the creepy Asian boy and the black cat. I jump three or four times without having any explanation for it. It just gets to me. I am sure some of it is remembering the first time I saw it and how everyone in the audience jumped, or whatever, but The Grudge just works. I walked out of the sequel, though.

So there you have it. I know, I know, my list is supposed to have movies like Evil Dead on it. Also, Night of the Living Dead should be on this list, but as it turns out, I do not own it on DVD at the moment, so I cannot just pull it off the shelf and watch it at any moment.

Kid Cudi's Man on the Moon


Kid Cudi was one of 9 freshman rappers to grace the cover of the XXL's future emcees issue. He was also hand picked by Kanye West and was instrumental in helping West craft 2008's 808s and Heartbreak. He is a weird cat and there is a faction of rap fans that cannot stand him. They do not like that he does not have a street story. he is not "hard" and some do not even consider him a rapper. His beats are too Euro, or too weird. He does too much singing or his delivery is not fast enough and his lyrics are not full of tongue twisters. These are the knocks against this kid. Eh, hip-hop should not be so easily defined and for that reason, Cudi intrigued me right off the bat. His lead single "Day n Night" was such a weird little track that I was immediately interested in what this kid would do for an album. Well, the album is out and now I know. I will go track by track, but before I do that I want to say that this is the most interesting debut album I have heard since Lupe Fiasco. Kid Cudi's album came out a week ago and I have listened to it nearly twenty times. That is how much I am interested in it. Oh and I have to say, I cannot find my liner notes on the computer for this album, and cannot find the production team on-line.

1. In My Dreams (Cudder Anthem) - The album's opener does not actually feature any rapping, just some singing. It is a free flowing, almost stream of consciousness style of song. There is not a lot of structure and the musicality lends itself to that. The beat is spacey and minimalist but provides the right kind of dreamlike atmosphere. The song sets off the story of the album, with Cudi asleep and dreaming and in his dreams "everything plays out exactly how I want them to/ everything turns out dope" It is kind of ominous because it makes me think his dreams are the only place where he is happy. His voice is super depressing and then the song ends and Common comes in with some dope narration I will reproduce here:

Long before we know ourselves,
Our paths are already set in stone.
Some may never figure out their purpose in life,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
And some will.
There are a lot of us who are caught up in this hell we all live in,
Content with being blinded by rules and judgment.
We live in a world where it's more okay to follow than to lead.
In this world being a leader is trouble for the system we are all accustomed to.
Being a leader in this day and age is being a threat.
Not many people stood up against the system we all call life,
But toward the end of our first ten years into the millennium we heard a voice.
A voice who was speaking to us from the underground for some time.
A voice who spoke of vulnerabilities and other human emotions and issues never before heard so vividly and honest.
This is the story of a young man who not only believed in himself,
But his dreams too.
This is the story of The Man On The Moon.

It really sets the album up perfectly 5/5

2. Soundtrack 2 my life- The song opens with Cudi rapping "Got 99 problems and they all bitches." The title explains the song pretty well. This is Cudi letting us know about his life growing up and how he did not deal with them well. He ends the first verse by saying "But they all don't see/ the bit of sadness inside me." His second verse talks about the paranoia he feels since his father died when he was young. And it features his slickest word play on the album when he raps "The moon will illuminate my room and soon I'm consumed by my doom." It is a dope line, but it also shines a light on the sadness or depression. He tries drugs and says a happy ending would be slitting his wrists. People in rap do not talk about this stuff. The beat is perfectly suited as it is kind of harrowing and very dark. Cudi breathes life into it but it kind of stands up on its own and Cudi ends the final verse with the line "I am happy, that's just the saddest lie" and I realize this album is very different. 5/5

3. Simple As...- I love the 808s and the kick drums on this track. Cudi glides over the beat very well. He is in a sing-songy flow and it works for the song. He hits every beat where he needs to and he even makes the awful talking in the beat tolerable. This song ends chapter 1 in the story and almost feel optimistic because, well he is still dreaming. The song has a dreamy vibe and the nonsensical lyrics kind of add up to the dream. lyrics like "But how to be, I'm whackin cheese into the little kids/ So I curse like a sailor and I smoke weed" feel out of a dream because they are not immediately phrases that go together. Cudi has created a whole landscape of dreaming with the music, his sing-songy flow and now the nonsensical lyrics finish off that dream. However, the song ends with our narrator coming back in to tell us the dreams are about to turn into something bad. I am totally hooked!! 4.5/5

4. Mr. Solo Dolo(Nightmare)- Oh this beat is off the hook amazing. I love the haunting strings and the reverb on his voice when he says "Mr. Solo Dolo." I love how the beat builds slowly and keeps the ominous feel, but then pulls back when it needs to. The beat has all these weird little creepy sounds that keep me on edge even after 20 listens. I love how Cudi's flow is like a forced whisper, like if he speaks too loudly the monsters of his night terrors will find him. But the night terrors, or the hook, are loud and creepy and go like "Why must it feel so wrong when I try and do right, do right" His paranoia is so present here and it is so interesting and intense to listen to. Rappers never talk about night terrors. Lyrically it is not special, but it is exactly what it needs to be for the song. He has crafted a musical nightmare and his final lyrics are just haunting:

I don't need nobody
This is what you feel all the sounds of insanity
Hopin what I hear loops itself to finish me
No I won't be afraid

Oh man, this kid is certainly using his music to work out issues and I feel privileged to go along for the journey. 5/5

5. Heart of a lion (Cudder theme music)- In the midst of his nightmares, Cudi is trying to pump himself up, but even his optimistic songs are fraught with ominous beats, paranoid choruses and a downer flow. I love it! The beat is a mix between triumphant marching and spacey loner flying. Cudi maintains a level head and he is rapping through the song and is right in cadence with the beat. It is more impressive than people are giving him credit for. The beat does get kind of cheesy when the chorus comes in, but it is not so distracting. He does end the song with a nice courageous verse, which lets me think that maybe the night terrors are over and that he defeated them. he is talking to someone, but we do not know who when he ends the final verse with "Hiding deep within I told you no I'll never let you drag me down to hell no." What is hiding within him? Who is dragging him down? Where does his paranoia come from? 4/5

6. My World (Featuring Billy Craven)- Cudi sounds straight up weeded in this song. he is all smoked out and tired of fighting his demons. The beat is on some deep dark rap shit, with some marching going on, but Cudi is obviously too tired to really march out on it. I like his lazy flow juxtaposed with the march style of the beat. It makes the beat feel lazy and then on the hook, the beat does get lazy and drawn out. Cudi has put the beat into submission and brought it to his smoked out level. Cudi is not as concerned with rhyming as he is with creating an ambience and it works. His words do not always make a rhyme, but I get what he is doing. His voice feels void of all emotions on the song. His nightmares have just made him feel soulless. It is hauntingly gorgeous and sad at the same time. This is definitely a song to think on. 5/5

7. Day n nite- The big single that everyone can hum and with great reason. it is fucking catchy. The beat is perfectly suited for the "lonely stoner." It is a nightmare song, but it does not always feel so dark. I mean, lyrically it is dark and the chorus is super sad when he goes on and on about the lonely stoner. But musically the song just hits. I can hear rappers tearing into the beat, but not Cudi, Cudi is crafting something more than a lyrical exercise. he is more interested in the story of his lonely life and we are better for it. Any punchline rapper can go over a beat, but Cudi makes the beat his. He owns the beat with his story and his voice and his slow flow and repeated words. All of this combined give me the picture of a guy all alone trying hard to find his place. 4/5

8. Sky Might Fall- Of course, the title itself is incredibly paranoid and this track falls right into that. The beat has these drum sounds that hit in weird patterns, the organs come in all over the place in the background and Cudi finds himself rapping about grey skies, being lost, searching for more and wanting to leave Earth. The themes of the song are indicative of the themes of the album, but in this song he is almost angry about it. Gone is the depressed voice, replaced by a more aggressive growl and an elongated syllable pronunciation. It is an effective change right in the middle of the album. Is Cudi's paranoia giving way to anger? He says he does not care if the sky falls, does that mean he is just over all of it and he is sick of not feeling peace? It is possible. 5/5

9. Enter Galactic(Love Connection 1)- This is without question the weakest song on the album. The beat is far too cheesy and far too Euro Pop trashy. The chorus wears thin on my patience every listen, but the redeeming fact of the song is where it fits in the story. Is this the turning point in Cudi's life? He raps, sings and then speaks on the track. it is a kind of all over the place song that fits into an album of paranoia and this may be the turning point when he says " I like it when you talk because your voice is angels" and then when the song ends our narrator comes on again to lead us into the next section of this journey and he says:

Soon after falling into a deep but psychedelic state to escape the prison of our reality a hero becomes trapped in his own peaceful place which immediately becomes his sanctuary, a place filled with his wildest dreams, this is his new home.


As a song it gets a 2/5 but in the story, it is a 4/5.

10. Alive (Featuring Ratatat)- In this song. the dream state of the next song is gone and replaced with Cudi taking on the form of his nightmares, I think. The beat hits harder than any other beat on the album. It is an intricate sound scape for Cudi to rap about being a creature of the night. I think he is a werewolf on the track, or at least a creature that is alive at night. He is rapping about a girl he hopes can save him, "a sexy lady who is pure." He wants her to save him from his curse. I believe he is asking for the girl from the song above that he made a connection with. If that dream state finds him at peace, this nightmare finds him restless, cunning and unsure. He needs that dream to save him. He raps in the third verse but sings in the first two and this ability to switch up makes things fresh. his singing voice is light and high pitched, but his rapping voice is lower pitched and scary, so those two work well off each other. 5/5

11.Cudi Zone- In a Timbaland sounding beat (It could be him) Cudi raps Soaring, Is this allowed?/ I sure bet my daddy proud,/ A little nigga with a shaky smile,/ On top of the dreams is where I'm found" and so goes Cudi Zone. Cudi is back in the dream land where things go well, where he is able to find peace. When he is in his mind, he feels safe. In the "Cudi Zone" there is rest and he feels alright. It is a contradiction to the night terrors, but this is after the terrors. This after finding love. I do feel that lyrics fail him most on this song because the song is trying to be very lyrical. The beat cow-tows to the words and Cudi raps more on this track than any other and his rapping does let me down, a bit. However, I do not think of Cudi as a rapper, he is a storyteller and in the story, this song works. 4/5

12. Make her Say (Featuring Kanye West and Common)- Cudi chops up Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" to create a blow job anthem. Juvenile, sure, but fun as hell, yes! The beat is nice. The bass is a little too distorted for my taste, but the sample is worked in perfectly and does not get too annoying. Lyrically the song is offensive with lines like "When It's Said And Done She Spit It Up And Swallow" and Kanye dropping "Getting Brain In The Library Cause I Love Knowledge/When You Used Your Medulla Oblongata" and Common getting the best and most disrespectful line "But They Say You Be On The Conscious Tip/ Get Your Head Right And Get Up On This Conscious Dick." However, I cannot help but love it. I love the vibe, the flows, the deliveries and when the song is winding down, I love the dj scratches! I know I should have some self righteous indignation about the misogyny, but hell, the song is dope. 4.5/5

13. Pursuit of Happiness(Featuring MGMT and Ratatat)- The beat on this song is so complex, exquisite and varied that I cannot help but love it. Cudi has created a masterpiece on this song. I love how the chorus goes over a more chunky section of the beat and how sing songy is and then for the verses the beat backs off and Cudi does his singing things over it. Then he sings/raps this verse that is just horrifyingly stark and honest :

Tell me what you know about dreamin (dreamin), You ain't really know bout nothin (nothin), tell me what you know about the night terrors every night, 5am cold sweats, waking up to the sky, Tell me what you know about dreams (dreams), tell me what you know about night terrors nothin, you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow, rather lay awake in the bed full of sorrow.


I cannot find any fault with this song. It is remarkable, really. I can listen to it over and over and never get tired of it. The beat, the sing-songy hook and Cudi's voice catch you, but you stick around for the honesty, desperation and suicidal thoughts we have not seen in rap music since Notorious B.I.G rapped his own suicidal thoughts on Ready to Die. Cudi will never be the rapper B.I.G was, but he understands that honesty is the right way to go. 5/5

14. Hyyerr (featuring Chip the rapper)- This song does feel a little old because of the soul sample, but I like it. it has a smoothed out R&B feel to it until Cudi starts doing his hybrid rap/singing thing. Marijuana is a common topic in rap music, but this kind of feels different. Cudi has given into his addictions and into the things that take him away from his terrors, but it does not sound celebratory. The hazy beat, the garbled hook and Cudi's own drugged out voice give this song a tone that is not happy. Cudi does not appear to enjoy the weed and the alcohol but he thinks he needs it to get away from his troubles. He is not glamorizing his drug use. The song before went to a suicidal place and in order to stay away from that place, Cudi relies on his drugs, on the things that haze his memory. In the story, it makes perfect sense. 4/5

15. Up, Up and Away (The Wake and Bake song)- The album ends with Cudi waking up to face reality as his first verse goes "I flow some round in my bedroom turn around see myself in the mirror I guess I'm cool." Cudi made it through a night of nightmares, night terrors and dreams. He comes out the other end a little stronger. The beat is built around a guitar and has a Gym Class Heroes sound to it, kind of Earthy and natural. Cudi is certainly in his most optimistic voice and flow on the song and it is a nice close to the album. I have just listened to a man give his entire life and soul to me on record and I am rewarded with a song about moving on from the night and that he will not be brought down by haters or anyone else for that matter. Then to rap it up, our Narrator comes back on to close this chapter:

The end is never the end. A new challenge awaits. A test no man could be prepared for. A new hell he must conquer and destroy. A new level of growth he must confront himself. The machine in the ghost within. This is the journey of the man on the moon.



Man on the Moon is a concept album where every song fits just right. I never questioned why certain songs were placed in or why this happened or that happened. Cudi has crafted a stellar debut album worthy of being listened to and dissected over and over again. He is only moderately talented as a rapper and as a singer, but as an artist, he is spectacular. Thank you Kid Cudi for letting me take this journey with you and for opening up your life. I cannot wait to hear the next adventure!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Jennifer's Body


I was trying to figure out how to start this. Typically I fill my opening paragraph with my expectations, or some kind of background information of the movie, but I don't really have any of that here. I think people think this is the kind of movie I am drawn to because of the hotness factor, as if I am shallow. Well, it makes sense, I love Into the Blue specifically because Jessica Alba spends the entire movie in a bikini, but this movie is different. It is written by Diablo Cody who has such a unique writing voice and I respect that. Sure, having Megan Fox in the movie does not hurt, but the movie had more going for it than just Megan Fox. I feel like I need to make that clear. Okay, now that I have, onto it.

Jennifer(Fox) and Needy(Amanda Seyfried) have been best friends since the day they met as children in the sandbox. Jennifer is hot and incredibly insecure and Needy is, well needy, and kow-tows to Jennifer's wishes. One night Jennifer and Needy go to a local bar to see a band because Jennifer wants to bang the lead singer. The band, fronted by Adam Brody are not what they appear and one song intot he concert the bar goes up in flames and most of the people in it die, luckily Jennifer and Needy escape, but Jennifer decides to go with the band in their van. Later that night, Jennifer shows up at Needy's house covered in blood, acting creepy and eventually vomiting up some kind of black tar stuff. The next day, though, Jennifer is acting normal, well, until she murders and eats parts of a higgh school football player. The band was trying to sacrifice a virgin to Satan in order to be as famous as Maroon 5, but Jennifer is no virgin, she is not even a backdoor virgin, according to her. So, the band got world famous, but a demon now inhabits Jennifer and she needs to feed on boys to keep up her strength. Needy realizes what is going on but cannot figure out how to stop her, without sounding crazy. Of course, it all comes to a head at the prom, featuring a live performance from Adam Brody's band.

Diablo Cody is always going to be kind of a mixed bag. Juno had a lot of great things in it, but it also had things that were too cute, quirky or precious, like the hamburger phone. Jennifer's Body does not have any quirky props, but some of the dialog, is, as is common for Cody, too cute, or nonsensical. I did not like the word "jealous" being turned into "jello" and then used like "you are so like lemon and lime jello." I did however, love the line "Tits are like smart bombs, point them in the right direction and shit gets real." So goes Diablo Cody's writing style. She is still looking for the perfect blend of cute and too cute.The first half hour of Jennifer's Body feature all the Diablo Cody infused dialog you would expect, so some of it is really funny and some of it just comes off and uninspired and awkward, especially out of Megan Fox's mouth. However, once the first half hour is done, the movie's dialog evens out for the most part. There are still moments of bad one-liners, especially during the climax, but overall I was not distracted by it.

Megan Fox playing a girl who uses her body to eat men, might be hitting something too on the nose, but it works. Fox is walking sex, she is a metaphorical man eater and then she becomes a literal man eater. Kudos to the casting department. Fox is clearly having fun vamping up, or playing totally into the fantasies guys have of her. She starts the movie in a cheerleading outfit; she skinny dips, talks about anal sex, and wears skimpy pink and yellow outfits. Fox is not the world's best actress, but she is perfect in this role. I am not sure anyone else would have been able to make this movie and been so beleivable as a girl who uses sex to get power. She handles the Codyisms pretty well, as soon as you realize it is not Juno. She also is not afraid to get dirty, spending a good amount of time covered in blood and puking out black tar and blood. Perhaps that does not seem like a big deal, but a girl who looks liek Megan Fox obviously does not ever half to be willing to look the least bit ugly.

Amanda Seyfried is probably the stand out though. She is not uglied up, as much as she is just made to be homely. Her eyes still sparkle, her curls are still adorable and she is still smart and pretty, just in an amish kind of way. She gets to be properly helpless and then bad ass, as the main girl ina horror movie is supposed to be. The movie is told from her point of view and we get the voice over narration that will probably be a staple of Diablo Cody scripted movies. She handles the dialog very well and interacts perfectly with both Fox and the guy playing her boyfriend. She is believable as a nerd, but also believable as a girl who has simply had enough.

Jennifer's Body was mismanaged from the marketing side, with the trailers making it out to be a straight horror film, but it is not. it is funny, campy and charming in many ways and the horror aspects are pretty minimal. There are three legitimatly horror movie scenes and they are effective, but they are not the main part of the film. I loved the scene with Needy and Jennifer when Jennifer first shows up with the blood. It mixes the humor, horror and gore the best and the climatic scene which somehow takes place in an abandoned pool house is also pretty effective in terms of a horror film. theere are no "jumps" in my opinion, but these scenes work as effective scenes in a horror movie.

It is clear Diablo Cody did not set out to write a straight up horror movie and she does not blend genres as smoothly as one might hope and some of it might be the director was unsure of how to handle the movie. I do not know why it doesn't always click, but I know that for the most part I was entertained. Much has been made of the girl-on-girl kiss and as mainstream girl-on-girl kisses go, it is hot. It is not so over the top, but it is not timid either and then it ends perfectly with Amanda Seyfried's character blurting out "What the fuck in happening!" which is exactly what the audience is thinking since it seems to just randomly appear. The kiss, I am sure, speaks to the complex nature of female friendships where the girls are not considered equals. Needy is thought of to be in love with Jennifer and Jennifer is known to just like sex, so them going for a little kissing does not seem entirely out of place in the movie, just in that scene, which may be the point.

Jennifer's Body satsifies on most levels. It is a nice vehicle to show off Megan Fox's sex appeal and shows she can carry a movie (even though at the box office, she did not). It is funny, clever and interesting, even if it is a bit too clever in parts. It offers some gore, some horror, two hot girls kissing and mostly it just entertains. The movie did not hit at the box office, but I would not be surprised if it finds an audeince somewhere down the line. It is meant to be a campy B style movie and I think people just were expecteding something else, which is too bad. I think they are missing out.

Final Grade: B

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Informant!


Much has been made of Steven Soderbergh's career. He is almost a chameleon with the movies he makes. he makes big budget crime capers(The Ocean's movies), then makes Epic 4 hour long marathons (Che) and then follows that up with a fly on the wall look at a high class hooker who is played by a real porn star. Soderbergh turns a lot of people off because his films have a tendency to be pretentious and Soderbergh doe snot apologize for it. His movies, no matter how grand scale they are, are personal. He always serves as his own cinematographer, as if he cannot imagine having his vision seen from anyone else's perspective. The guy makes the kinds of movies he wants to make without letting box office or critical acclaim or panning dictate his films. He is a very admirable director. I do not always enjoy his movies, but I always respect the experience and I always do my best to catch all of his movies.

In 1995 Mark Whitacre(Matt Damon) went to jail for 9 years and the rest of the bosses in his company went to jail for 3 years. This might not seem like a big deal, but Whitacre was a whistleblower on the company and worked with the F.B.I for 3 years to bring down the company, ADM for price fixing. So how does the informant end up going to jail for longer than the people on whom he dropped the dime? Well, that is presumably made this a movie worth making. Whitacre works for a corn manufacturer and in 1992 his company is trying out some new things, but nothing is working and it turns out that someone within the plant is poisoning the tests. A man in Japan will tell Whitacre who it is for a fee. This gets the F.B.I involved (the agents are played by Scott Bakula and Joel McHale) and soon Whitacre is confessing to The F.B.I that ADM has been conspiring with rival companies to fix prices of all of their products. Whitacre turns informant and starts wearing a wire to all meetings and in a few years The F.B.I has a strong enough case to start arresting the corporate guys. However, this is really only the beginning of the story.

Matt Damon put on some serious weight, and grew an obnoxious moustache for the role of Mark Whitacre and it pays off big time. Damon's whiteacre is perfectly unassuming, which is what makes the reveal that Whitacre had been embezzling millions of dollars, such a great one. Whitacre went away for more time because he lied to The F.B.I, the Government, hell he lied to everyone. No one would have expected it because he looks nothing like a mastermind. In fact, the movie is full of stream of consciousness inner monologues (voiceovers) that really make Whitacre come off as kind of a simple idiot. He is obviously not an idiot, but the inner monologue actually reveals something much deeper, and Soderbergh brilliantly weaves the whole thing together in the end.

The underlying question running through my mind during the entire movie was "why am I bored?" Damon is phenomenal, the writing is really funny, especially the inner monologue thoughts about polar bears and wondering whether we all have a sentence that if we say it, it will kill us, but I was bored. The movie is set in the early 90s obviously, but Soderbergh has gone out of his way to make it look like the 1970s, why? I do not know, but it bothered me a bit. Also, the strong presence of stand up comedians in small roles was distracting: Joel McHale, Tom Papa, Patton Oswalt, Paul S. Tompkins, and the Smothers Brothers all popped up in small roles, which was just weird for me. I know Soderbergh said he cast them all because he likes the comic energy, but Oswalt as a Government lawyer just did nothing for me.

The Informant! is written and acted as a comedy, and it has laugh out loud moments, but the joke is never made truly clear. Or at least, who the joke is on is never made clear. It never all out fails on any level, but something about it is just boring. Maybe it is the basic story that bored me, but I was checking my watch a lot. It also goes on a little too long considering the climax ends and the movie goes for another almost 15 or 20 minutes. Damon is getting a little Oscar buzz for his role, but since The Oscars never go for comedies, I doubt he will end up in the running, even though he does excellent work. He is nuanced, funny, interesting and ultimately very very sad.

Soderbergh has once again made a movie his way and it is hard to find fault with the man for making a movie on his terms. My guess is that this movie could have easily been a more serious thriller, but Soderbergh thought of it as a more comedic romp and he succeeds in ringing the funny, but I wonder if some of the funny came at the determent of the overall story. The supporting cast does not have much to do, but Scott Bakula does some good work as a kind of frazzled F.B.I agent but it is all overshadowed by this kind of boring storytelling.

Final Grade: C+

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Television recap (Sept. 13-Sept. 20)

The television season is still not in full swing, but it is getting closer. This week brought NBC's Thursday comedy block and then this week brings the rest of the season, pretty much. So, on to the recap.

VMAs- Much has been made of Kanye West, so I am not going to discuss that. What I am going to do is talk about Jay-Z's performance. I love how they built it up, and how easy he made it look. Alicia Keys looked amazing and her piano playing is always nice. I enjoyed all of the performances except for The Muse, but that had more to do with my inability to make out the words from the singer. Russell Brand was not as funny as last year, but he had some good jokes. Also, why did Cobra Starship not perform? That song was a smash this summer.

Entourage- I know a lot of people do not like Zac Efron, but he really was funny in this episode. Actors appearing on this show always have a great time and Efron was no exception. The episode raised the stakes a bit overall and then they had a really silly turn of events regarding the big stalker storyline, some may think ti was lazy, but I think it was exactly what makes Entourage fun.

Melrose Place- The girl who wants to be a doctor is turning tricks to pay for Med. school. If I ever need to really see a doctor, I want to know she was passionate enough about being a doctor that was willing to turn tricks to pay for it. Katie Cassidy is still my favorite, but she is a big tease thus far. Actually, the whole show is too much of a tease right now. Also, the show is moving incredibly fast with the twists and back stories.

SYTYCD- The audition aspect of this show is definitely the weakest part of the show. They work so hard to create stories that we do not get a lot of dancing and certainly not enough Cat Deeley! This week we did meet a gorgeous hard of hearing girl, whose story was perfectly exploited for tears. I highly doubt she is going to make it to the final 20, but I am rooting for her.

Glee- This week the focus was on the teacher and his A-Capella group. I loved it! Anytime I can get "This is how we do it", "Poison" and "I wanna sex you up" in the same episode, consider me happy. Matthew Morrison is effortless in his singing and acting. Plus, this episode did not feature the annoying wife except during all the sex, so that was good. However, I was most impressed by Josh Groban. The guy seems like he could be such a douche bag, but he proved to me that the guy is a nice charming guy, who happens to be ridiculously talented.

Community- I am just going to embed my favorite moment from this show because it might be the funniest new sitcom I have seen in like 3 or 4 years. Joel McHale is in excellent comic form and the surrounding characters all add something nice to the show. It is a collection of assorted comics, and character actors and they really have a nice chemistry. However, the show will live and die with McHale and so far he has risen to the challenge.

The Office- I am not going to lie, I was not nearly as excited about this premiere as I thought I would be. I think the show is funny, but I do not know if I am just kind of tired of it, or what. However, I am really glad I watched it because it was quite funny. Steve Carrell was in top form as he created rumors about everyone. I love how the show deals with really serious issues, without making a big deal about them, but I kind of wish there would have been more about Pam's pregnancy because Jim and Pam are so flipping adorable!

Supernatural- My favorite show in the fall is just getting better. This episode featured so much amazing stuff it is hard to digest it all. First we have the return of some of the other hunters, which is always fun. Then, we get the first Horseman of the Apocalypse and the horse he rides in on is a sick mustang car. Then you have the cool reveal of what is really going on and finally you have the shows biggest shift with Sam and Dean parting ways. It was a shocking moment for the show, made even More shocking that it had nothing to do with the supernatural aspect, it was just two brothers realizing things were not working. I was literally on the edge of my seat!

The rest of my shows come back this week, except Californication and Dexter which premiere next week.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Anytime Movies week #3


An Anytime Movie is a movie you can put on at anytime and be perfectly content. They are movies that do not depend on mood. You do not worry about how long they are, or anything else. They suit you at anytime. They are rainy day movies, or I-am-not-doing-anything-else movies. They are go to standards. This collection does not represent my all time favorite movies, but the movies I can put on and be immediately happy I did. Yes, two are featured in my all time favorites, but that is not the point. These are the movies that do something to me every time. Movies I never tire of. I have 25 of these movies and for the next five Sundays I will be rolling out 5 of them. They will be semi-grouped into genre or have a connection in some way.

Obviously, this is not happening on Sundays anymore.

For this third batch of Anytime Movies, I have more comedies, but they do not really fit together. A few are straight comedies and one is a more serious comedy (I know that is a contradiction of terms). So, I tried to find a grouping, but I was not successful. What I have is five movies that make me laugh in different ways. As is the norm with Anytime Movies, these are in no specific order.

1. An American President- It is not my favorite Romantic Comedy, nor is it my favorite Aaron Sorkin movie, but it is something I can always watch and if it is on television I always check it out for a while. The combination of a fun romance, amazing dialog, a wonderful Michael J. Fox performance and that killer Michael Douglass monologue towards the end, will keep this movie in constant rotation. It has wonderful lines, interesting politics and a delightfully spunky little girl, which is all wrapped up in this beautiful little Aaron Sorkin bow!

2. O' Brother Where Art Thou- For most people The Big Lebowski is the classic Coen movie, but for my money, nothing beats "O' Brother." It is silly, interesting, smart and has 3 great performances at the core, with equally great supporting performances. And the music, oh the music. I do not normally fill my iPod with Country Bluegrass, but the music in this one fits in every way. I have seen the movie countless times and I crack up just as much now as the first time. It is also the only movie I have ever known my father to see more than twice at the theater. It is kind of a Hadley family movie, which makes it more appealing. I find the movie to be totally quotable, but in a funny way, not an annoying way like Anchorman.

3. Clerks 2- To take absolutely nothing away from the minimalist genius of Clerks, Clerks 2 is faster, funnier and more complete. However, when it comes down to it, Clerks 2 also has a nice heart hidden behind the vulgar sex jokes, Star Wars Vs. Lord of the Rings jokes and Kevin Smith-isms. The script is beyond hilarious and full of great pop culture skewering and adding Rosario Dawson to the mix was a nice touch. I have watched the DVD many times and still find myself catching new jokes I missed from laughing too much earlier. What makes the movie infinitely watchable, though, is the final 10 minutes or so. Smith is a big softie at heart and this movie shows it off with feeling like it is pandering. The acting is not that good, but it almost adds to the charm.

4. Galaxy Quest- This is another full on Hadley family movie. That is reason enough to have this on the list. It is a movie that caught my whole family by storm, to the point we still reference it and to the point where Sam Rockwell will always be Guy. In fact, Guy has become something I say in my life for anyone who just looks like "some guy." Tim Allen has never been funnier, or boozier, and Alan Rickman's deadpan voice, delivery and presence bring some gravitas to the whole thing. If you have not seen it, you are really missing out. It is a wonderfully funny movie that the whole family can enjoy. The story gets just the right amount of out-of-hand and the convention scene alone is worth the price of admission.

5. Garden State- This is the one that really does not fit, but it is funny enough for me to consider it a comedy, just a downer comedy. Zac Braff wrote, directed, chose the music and starred in a comedy about feeling, or not feeling. Then, he went and cast Natalie Portman in the most adorable role ever. She is totally cute, weird, funny and distant and they have this very natural easy chemistry. Braff has yet to make a second movie, but I am anxiously waiting for it because of how much I still enjoy this one. To some, it might be too much of a downer to watch it anytime, but I think the fact that it blends the comic and the tragic so effortlessly makes it so watchable.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Jay-Z's Blueprint 3 album review


Jay-Z's Blueprint 3 just sold 450,000 copies in its first week in stores, giving him 11 number 1 albums. The Beatles are the only entity in music with more number 1 records. Jay just passed Elvis. Jay is without question the most prolific artist in the history of rap music. No other rap artist has been critically and commercially relevant nearly as long as Jigga. Rap is a young man's game and Jay has found a way to stay modern and he has always done it on his terms. He is the face of hip-hop the world over. He performs at rock festivals in English; he vacations with Bono and kicks it with Chris martin (lead singer of Coldplay). He ran a label, he started a clothing line before it was cool and he owns a top notch hot spot in New York. Oh and he is married to the biggest and hottest female star out right now, Beyonce. There is a reason he is glossed Jay-Hova. On top of all of that, he sold out Madison Square Garden in something like 25 minutes for a 9/11 benefit concert this year. That is just a taste of who this man is and now onto reviewing the album I have been dying to hear.

1. What we talkin about- Over a pretty basic, but cool sounding beat, Jay just rips into everyone who is gossiping about him or his business. His flow is simple, but the delivery is crisp and he is not in a good mood as he says "That's just how the game goes I don't owe nobody jack/ Grown men want me to sit em on my lap/ But I don't have a beard and Santa Claus ain't black." Wow fall back people looking for a handout. The song is a great introduction to what he is doing on the album. He is the most successful rapper ever, but he can still get angry and he can still unleash his venom through his voice box and kill anyone, especially his former rap partner Jazz when he hits jazz with this "Even Jazz made some scraps/ He could've made more but he didn't sign his contract." In the third verse he switches up his delivery a bit, because that is who Jay is and it fits nicely with the closing remarks. An overall dope track. 5/5

2. Thank You- Over a Kanye West beat heavy on the horns, this is Jay's Sinatra track. I picture Jay in a suit, a drink, and a cigar on stage almost like a crooner. It is so smooth and so perfect. The beat glides with each measure and Jay just jogs all over it, having some fun. It is some nice, "I am actually rich, not rapper rich" type song where he boasts he pays waiters to keep the ice cold. That is a baller right there. But the third verse might be the illest Jay verse on the album. It is just WHOA and here it is fully:

I was gonna kill a couple rappers
But they did it to themselves
I was gon' do it with the flow
But they did it with their sales
I was gon' 9/11 'em, but they didn't need the help
And they did a good job them boys is talented as hell
Cuz not only did they brick they put a building up as well
They ran a plane into that building and when that building fell
Ran to the crash site with no masks and inhaled
Toxins deep inside their lungs until both of them was filled
Blew a cloud out like a L into a jar then took a smell
Cuz they heard that second hand smoke kills
Niggas thought they was ill found out they was...ILL
And it's like you knew exactly how I wanted you to feel


Wow. I mean how can anyone hate this album with that verse on it!? 5/5

3. D.O.A. (death of Autotune) - This was the first "street" single and Jay blows it up! No.ID gives jay some beautiful horns and a sick beat and Jay goes gutter on it ripping into so many of these ringtone rappers. Jay is a legend and you will never forget. The man sets trends and in this song he wants to crush a stupid trend. He goes off and he knows it when he says "this ain't politically correct/this might offend my political connects." Jay is so effortless with his breath control and his delivery that he makes it seem so easy to be a successful rapper. He rides this beat so beautifully, it is almost a crime. I am not sure he achieved his goal, but the song hits and I know other rappers have hated on Autotune, but none of them have the stature of Jay. 5/5

4. Run This Town- The first actual single finds a kind of weak Jay. Kanye laced Jay with a cool march style beat, Rihanna's chorus is catchy and powerful and the song is cool, but Jay just does not bring it as well as I would have liked. He gets off some good lines, especially in his second verse, but Rihanna and Kanye just come better. In fact, Kanye sounds straight up hungry using an aggressive voice, an attack style flow and interesting lyrics. Kanye is certainly using the song to remind people that he is a rapper and his delivery all over his verse keeps things fresh. He switches the rhyme patterns frequently and it makes me think this beat and Rihanna's chorus would have been better for a Kanye album. 3/5 for Jay, 5/5 for the other two.

5. Empire State of Mind- I was not sure how this would go right when it started because the beat comes off so chunky, but then Alicia Keys' piano comes in and smoothes it out enough. The beat is still a little to chunky because the rest of the song is so smooth, so it is a bit annoying, but Jay is not going to let it get him down. Then when Ms. Keys' comes in on the HUGE chorus, it just gets awesome. Then when Jay begins the second verse with "Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous then a Yankee can" you realize just how cocky Jay is and how well it works on this track. New York is always thought of a brash and cocky state and Jay embodies that in life and on this song. Alicia and Jay make a really good team, but I wish they had a better beat to run over. Jay totally mellows out in the third verse, which was almost disappointed, but he did it because the third verse talks about how New York can swallow people up if they are not careful, so it fits. 4/5

6. Real as it gets- This is the first hiccup to me, really. I have nothing against Young Jeezy, but this is a Jay-Z album and Jay does not need guest rappers, especially rappers who spit such generic verses. The beat is another horn heavy, kind of smooth, Jay-Z is operating on another level type beat and Jeezy's voice is great on the hook, because he has such a distinct voice, but Jeezy should have stayed on the hook. When Jay gets going, it is kind of lackluster for Jay. It does not have the energy or the substance to be an album cut really. I am not sure I would skip the track on the regular basis, but I would not be putting it on any awesome music play lists. Jay does get one good line off "Hov’s the audio equivalent of braille/that’s why they feel me in the favelas in Brazil" but it really is not enough. 2.5/5

7. On to the Next one- This song is produced by Swizz beats but could easily be The Neptunes circa 2001. However, Jay makes it work and he is out for blood right off the bat with the lines "Hov' on that new shit, niggaz like "How come?"/Niggaz want my old shit, buy my old album/Niggaz stuck on stupid, I gotta keep it movin/Niggaz make the same shit, me I make +The Blueprint+" and the whole song follows suit. The beat does get a little too cute at times and it is distracting, especially the chants, but Jay's lyrics get to be front and center because of it. Oh and the hook has got to go! He gets another shot at autotune and to people who follow trends, when Jay sets trends (this is a problem later in the album). It is a song full of HOT lines that jay delivers with such ease that it feels like he does not even take the haters seriously. 4/5 for lyrics, but overall 3/5.

8. Off That- Timbaland gives Jay a beat and I should be crazy excited about it because these two go together like stupid people and Saw movies. However, Timbaland delivers a beat that sounds like a left over for his collaboration album. Then on top of that Jay lets Drake on the hook. NO! Jay you are a leader, not a follower, no Drake. Drake is wack. For his part Jay does what he can. I am not sure why Jay chose this beat, but I think eh liked the tempo of it. Jay speeds up his flow a bit and uses his higher pitched voice for short couplet style verses and Jay is obviously having fun and Drake doesn't actually sound too bad on the chorus, but I still have to ask why! The song feels like a first draft, really. It is my least favorite song on the album 2/5.

9. A Star is Born- Kanye and No I.D more than make up for the last song with a really nice piano and 808 heavy track and Jay really gives his all in this song. Each verse gets better and I like the song concept of Jay giving props to these rappers from the late 1990s and the 2000s. Jay name checks a ton of guys, even some who have dissed him and he is out giving respect, but at the same time, letting us know that Jay has outlasted basically all of these guys. It is a really subtle way of showing that Jay really is the biggest dog in a genre of big dogs. The chorus is totally dope and the beat just stays exactly what it needs to be. I love the piano and I love how Jay sounds sincere with his voice, but still just a bit cocky. Some kid named J. Cole gets to rap at the end, which is crazy because I have never heard of the kid, but he comes alright, nothing terribly special and I would have rather heard another Jay verse, but it is not annoying enough to take off points. 5/5

10. Venus vs. Mars- The first time I heard this song, I hated it, just flat out hated it. I hated Timbaland's beat, Jay's voice, his flow and the hook. I was ready to not give it a second shot, but I did and the song is growing on me. It is a totally spaced out beat and Jay is totally laid back and his voice has dropped in tone a bit, but it kind of works because of how different it is from the girl on the chorus who sounds on the verge of orgasm. The song is about the differences between him and a fictional girl and how it works for the first two verses and then falls apart in the last verse. I am still not sure what it is doing on this album, as it does not fit what I think the album is supposed to be, but I really like the third verse and how the beat gets even more spaced out when the story unravels. 3/5

11. Already Home- Jay lets Kid Cudi on the hook, which is a cop out and pandering, but at least it works. Cudi's voice is perfect for a song like this and Kanye's production, while not stellar has some nice strings in it. The song is about how boring it is when people keep talking about him and how wishing him to fall is pointless, because Jay is already set. It is a cocky song and it works very well because, Jay's swagger is unmatched. The lyrics are not crazy amazing, but his delivery is wonderful and he switches the rhyme patterns and the flow often enough to keep it all sounding fresh. And the third verse is amazing in terms of bragging and cocky swagger. He taught these young rappers what swagger was and this song is sonning all of them. Just killing these rap guys. 4/5

12. Hate- I have no doubts that people hate this song. In fact, I would put money on this being most people's least favorite song. Kanye's beat is just flat out weird and his 808s are very weird. Then they start rapping and it is just as weird. Kanye and Jay are rapping super slow and using weird speech patterns, and possibly making up words, or at least elongating words to make them sound weird. Yet, I find myself loving it because it is just two guys having all kind of fun being weird. Also, as an English major, I have to say Kanye's onomonpia is so ill making laser sounds! It is super funny. Jay is a jack of all trades and he proves he can hang with any beat, he can rap in any style and it can sound pretty good. Lyrically the song is nothing special, but the silly stuff in a song about haters, just goes to show how Jay and Kanye do not take any haters seriously. They are just toying with hate and I respect that. 4/5

13. Reminder- Timbaland disappoints again, but Jay does not. I ma not sure why this beat was chosen, but Jay-Z is not going to let it get to him and he is in top notch form on this track. Jay is out to remind everyone just who he is and what he has done for the game and just who he is. Bloggers cannot stop him, petty rappers cannot touch him and in case you forgot, Jay is the best. Not new territory, but Jay is almost 40 and still doin it, so this is the next part of his career. The second verse is so sick and ugly it made me squish my face. He is killin it on this song. Jay is at his best when he is reminding everyone he is the best. He does not lack for confidence and TImbaland's beat is actually growing on me as I write this review. This is the signature kind of song for Jay, but the line that seals it for me is "Then write sixteens in between runnin sixteen bid'nesses/All the while showin these young punks what the bid'ness is" When you are this good, it is all so simple! 4/5

14. So Ambitious- Most rappers have stories of people giving up on them. Jay has never really let those stories out, except for his father, but this song is about to change that. Pharell comes awesome on the hook; the beat is a classic Jay/Neptunes collaboration. Jay sets the tone with the opening lines "I felt so inspired by what my teacher said/said I'd either be dead or be a reefer head/now sure if that’s how adults should speak to kids" and from there it just steamrolls into an all out assault on people who told him he would never be anything. It is a great song, even if the concept is tired. It shows that Jay really is the Michael Jordan of this rap game. Jay's rise is well documented and is inspiring and that he continues to put out music and be relevant is stunning and this song is a testament to that. 4/5

15. Forever Young- Kanye West sample a cheesy song to give Jay a kind of cheesy beat, which leads to a concept that could be cheesy, but Jay and Mr. Hudson approach it very well and they avoid the mistake, but Kanye does not do them any favors, seriously, Jay's beat selection is kind of weak. Yes, Mr. Hudson does sound a bit like a generic Chris Martin and I would have rather heard Chris Martin and his piano, but Mr. Hudson has emotion in his voice which you need for a song about leaving a legacy, death and life. Jay's idea is that his music will always keep him young. After death he will be forever young because he has his music, his videos and his life. He paints a wonderfully vivid picture throughout the whole song about life and death. It is a really nice way to close the album. 2/5 for the beat, 5/5 for Jay, 3.5/5 overall.

The Blueprint 3 does not fit the Blueprint series and is, without question, the most inconsistent Jay-Z album, which is to say that it is still better than most other albums. This feels like Jay-Z is trying a little bit too hard to stay current, when that is not who he is. Jay sets trends, he does not follow them. He does not need guest verses from people like Jeezy. His beat selection is usually tighter and his verses more polished, but there are still enough gems on the album to make me like it. It is not the most cohesive album and I think a 12 song album would have been better, but the man just passed Elvis Pressley, so what do I know?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Sorority Row


I am not going bother to write a normal review, because I like to have some fun with bad movies.

The story is simple, 6 sorority girls play a prank on a boy, but the prank goes bad and 8 months later, they start to pay for their prank gone wrong.

I wish I could have a way to get my initial unfiltered thoughts right onto this page, but here is my best shot.

The movie opens on a hot girl in her bra and underwear(Billed as Bra-clad girl) asking her boyfriend for her shirt. The next shot is four hot girls on a trampoline having a pillow fight with their asses hanging out of the pajamas. So far so good, Sorority Row.

A girl kissing another girl, while both in skimpy pajamas, still going well.

Having seen a few episodes of The Hills, watching Audrina Patridge take a tire iron to the chest is not a surprising wave of living vicariously.

OOOHHH...Horror movie cliche time!!!

No cell reception when you need it most: 4 times
Car will not start: 2 times
Music in a seemingly empty house: 2 times
Doors locked for no reason: 2 times
Gratuitous nudity: 4 times.


Jamie Chung is super duper hot, but being naked under the suds of a hot tub is dumb, if the audience cannot see.

Rumer Willis is odd looking and would not be allowed in a sorority with the hotness in a movie that did not need a nerdy girl.

Briana Evigan is like a poor man's Sophia Bush, which is still better than being not a poor man's something else.

Ooooh, douche bag boyfriends. It is time to play "Guess which boyfriend is the actual killer." (I was right!)

Carrie Fisher with a shot gun is kind of bad ass. She went out like a straight up G.

Hot chick in a mini skirt holding an axe is totally sexy and bad ass.

The explanation from the killer makes absolutely no sense. it makes me appreciate Scream more because those killers made sense.

Well, I know the movie is not over because they have not added the tag to show there could be a sequel..wait there it is, now it is probably over.

Sorority Row offers some T and A, only 1 cool death and a bunch of obnoxious screaming. IT WAS PERFECT!!

Final Grade: D, but an A for the first 10 minutes.

Monday, September 14, 2009

9


If you go over to Youtube and type in Shane Acker's name, you can find and watch the 11 minute Oscar winning short film on which this film is based. It seems like a trend is starting with Oscar winning shorts being turned into feature length movies. District 9 was the same way and it suffered a bit from trying to stretch an 11 minute story into nearly two hours. 9 has the right idea though, it is only 80 minutes long. Movies 80 minutes long are usually bad, but animated movies can typically be a bit shorter. Of course, that is usually reserved for animated movies aimed at kids because kids have short attention spans. 9 is very much not for kids, which was the initial appeal for me. I mean, I like that Tim Burton and the guy who directed Wanted were a part of the producing team, but the darkness of the trailer and creepiness of the characters were what drew me in.

Machines have won in the war between Man Vs. Machine. The world has been destroyed and humanity vanquished. At least, I assume it is the world, it is possible it is merely an unknown country, like Russia, maybe. it is hard to know since the movie does not concern itself with details. Anyway, something wakes up. It is a burlap sack body, with a zipper down the front. The creature has no voice, but he spots another creature moving and soon this voiceless creature has a voice and a friend. The friend is promptly taken away by a dinosaur sounding machine and our original creature is alone, yet again. Our point of view creature is 9. He is voiced by Elijah Woods and he is a curious, brave little thing and when he is found by other creatures just like him, he wants to change the status quo. Altogether there are 9 of these creatures. Each is distinct and has a distinct purpose. 1 is the leader, 2, created things, 3 and 4 do not speak and they catalogue things, 5 does not have many skills, but he is nice. 6 is weird, 7 is the warrior, 8 is the muscle. They are not sure of their purpose or what exactly is going on, but 9 accidentally restarts the big brain machine and the 9 sack creatures may be joining humanity in death.

With a story tacked on that is ripped right from Terminator, 9 dazzles in parts, bores in parts and confuses in parts. The animation is spectacular, first off. The burlap sack creatures pop with life thanks to the animation and the top notch voice work all over. Christopher Plummer is excellent as 1, who may or may not be The Pope. John C. Reilly and Cripin Glover provide solid back up work, Jennifer Connelly soars as the token female and Elijah Wood could not be more perfect to voice a courageous and curious character. They really help bring the characters to life and give them not only voices, but souls which we find out are vitally important.

What is just as impressive as the character animation is the animation of the machines and the entire world. It is really quite breath taking to watch the entire world come to life, even though it is a desolate empty world. However, what really impressed me most were the action sequences. They are paced perfectly, animated to perfection and provide genuine thrills. It is a dark movie, but the action stays very well lit. The use of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" feels forced, too on the nose and out of place, but where that eventually leads is very cool. The characters all move with fluidity that gives the action sequences an added touch of cool.

With all of that though, the story is vague and confusing. We know the machines ruled because a War General or President, or vague leader took the brain machine and wanted to use it for evil. It turned on the humans and destroyed them, or at least the Russians. I can only assume Russians because someone said Comrade in the movie. No one says that but Russians, right? Any way these 9 things were created to keep humanity alive, but not left with any easy instructions on what to do. If the Scientist who created them had the ability to give them life, why did he not implant them with inherent knowledge to destroy the machine. Even better, why did the scientist even chance it by making the key to destroying the machine the exact same thing as it takes to power the machine. Even more, how could the main machine have destroyed all of the world, when the scientist obviously had the key in his possession when he created 9.

At 80 minutes, it is hard to ask a movie to be fully explanatory and I do not mind a bit of vagueness in the story and the vague ending did not bother me one bit, but there were certainly important facts, or holes left unexplained. I recommend the movie because of how wonderfully it looks, sounds and feels, but I do not think the movie is good enough to overcome some of the missing aspects.

Final Grade: C

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Fall television season is here!

Before I begin, the list posts will now appear on Thursdays, which means the rest of the Anytime Movies posts will show up on Thursdays. So the week will go as follows:

Sunday: Television recap
Monday: New movie releases
Tuesday: New movie releases
Wednesday: Wild Wednesday
Thursday: Lists

As the television season just started and now every show has aired, I am not entirely sure how this will go once they all are airing. I will probably stick with the formula of a top ten moments/shows but we shall see. For this week, with only a handful of shows though, I will just talk about my favorite moments in the shows I watched.

Melrose Place- The premiere episode really did a good job of setting up the soap opera-y tone of the show, but Katie Cassidy's Ella is my favorite, not only because she makes out with girls but because she is a sexy vixen who makes out with girls and guys. I am not sure this will become weekly viewing, but the first episode was good enough to give it a little time.

Hell's Kitchen- So this is a summer show that is coming to an end soon, but I am watching it and I am hooked on it, so I am going to write about it, probably for the next few weeks. I prefer the first half of the show, but the second half is where all the drama is. I love that there is a guy cooking with one hand and he is the best chef in the whole competition. I did not see what he did to his hand, but he is impressive.

Project Runway- I did not expect to get sucked back into this show, but I did. I didn't know why until this week when I got to hear Heidi Klum say that she is obsessed with boobs. Nothing else in the episode mattered even a little bit.

Glee- I am not sure this show can ever be better than the musical sequences in the show. The characters are all stock characters without much personality, except Lea Michelle of course, the wife is horrible and the pacing is a little off. However, the musical sequences all rock and this episode was no different. First, they rocked out to "Gold Digger", which was hilarious, then they rapped out "Push It", which was sexy and hilarious and finally Lea Michelle CRUSHED Rihanna's "Take a Bow". The music will probably keep me watching even when the other stuff fails me.

So You Think You Can Dance- I have not fallen in love with any of the contestants yet, although the adorable blonde Mormon girl was giving me the eye. What I do love is tap dance, so the tap dance battle, or "trade" really made my night as a far as the dance went. I did not see any hip-hop which made me sad, but I am sure there will be some later on in the audition process. Since I got hooked this summer, I find myself wanting more and more of it all!

The Vampire Diaries- Kevin Williamson is back on television with this Twilight with a brain/sense of humor/actual charm style show. A young beautiful girl goes back to school after tragedy and is quickly smitten with a new boy, who happens to be a vampire. She does not know yet. The script popped with Williamson style winks and jokes and the lead girl is not super annoying. The premiere was creepy and funny and sexy. I am a bit surprised I was as engaged as I was, even if a big part of the show involves the two leads writing in diaries, I guess I did not expect the title to be so literal!

Supernatural- This is the only one that really truly matters!! My boys are back and they are in a bad way with Satan loose on the planet. Sam and Dean fight a few demons, tangle with some angels and have the mother of all heart to hearts that let us know things will not be good between them. The relationship has changed after Sam's big mistakes of last season. The Satan stuff was super cool though. We watched as Satan found his "host" and we saw how Satan sweet talked his way into the body of his Host. I cannot wait to see how this goes!!!

This week brings NBC's Thursday comedies, so I will be adding The Office and Community to this list next week.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Slaughterhouse "Slaughterhouse" album review


There is a type of song in hip-hop music called "The Posse Cut." It dates back to the beginning stages of hip-hop where a group of Emcees get on a track and just tear it up. This is not a regular group of rappers, but individuals who jump on the same track. The songs are not meant to be anything other than lyrical slaughters. The hook does not matter and there is no underlying song concept, just a hot beat and hot rhymes. Everyone has their own idea of the perfect Posse Cut, and throughout the history of hip-hop we have seen many different combinations of people ripping tracks, but never before has a group been formed from a Posse Cut. Well, that time is here. Joe Budden, Royce the 5'9", Joell Ortiz and Crooked I are four emcees representing different areas and different situations, but have one thing in common, they have felt disrespected by labels. For Joe Budden's last album they all hopped on a track and called it Slaughterhouse. The reaction was too strong to ignore and a mere 5 months later, this group of highly skilled emcees have dropped an album under the collective, Slaughterhouse.

For the purpose of this review, I have eliminated the skits and added a few of their posse cuts to round out the album.

1. Sound Off- Following what we know about these guys, they start with just an all out assault on a horn heavy beat, that starts slow and then revs up and lets the four guys run all over it. It feels like a sprint track with Royce starting off and then the other three guys following with some hotness. It is almost eerie how well these guys fit together because their styles are very different. The only real concept of this track is for the emcees to introduce themselves and what this album will be about and that is LYRICS! The beat is hot, but it not over powering, because it is merely meant as the scrim for them to paint on and paint on it, they do. Joe closes this track and it is fitting because he does come the best, but the four emcees do not appear to be in competition with each other, they just want to push each other. 5/5

2. Lyrical Murderers- In what sounds like a west coast beat, Crooked I leads off with the line "Lyrical murderers, blame Rakim" This sets up yet another assassination of a beat. These guys are committing murder all over this album. This is another pure fire track, with no real concept except for all four guys talking about how they lyrically murder beats/haters/weak emcees. The hook is basic because the focus is on lyrics and with lyrics like "This is lyrical murder/Me and every track have a physical merger/ When I stab it in the chest I'ma bit of a curver/ So it bleeds to death, like the middle of a unfinished burger" it makes sense to just let these go all out. 5/5

3. Microphone- The guys are at it again, getting in a dope beat and letting weak emcees know they are not welcome in hip-hop. Royce leads it off, yet again. he is a great table setter because he sets the bar high but he is a team player. Songs about how skilled people are can get repetitive but these guys are so damn talented, I could listen to a whole album of just them saying things like "I could kill your career with one word." There is no hook on the track, which gives it a mixtape feel, but, the beat is too good for a mixtape, so they just kill it without worrying about song structure; they just want to unleash insanity on the track! Oh and BUdden KILLS it with: FUCK record sales or who the machine markets best
I'm the last muh'fucker that y'all should test/ I'm the sharp shooter, you the nigga I target next/ Too many frontin like y'all that fly/ REACH it, cause we set the bar that high. 5/5

4. Not tonight- This should have been the lead single because the beat is so clean and so crisp and the hook is singable and easily repeatable. Of course, that is where the single like qualities end because then Royce hits lead off and hits a double with an incredible flow and great lyrics, and then Crooked I gets off this killer line "You talk about how your pockets are big, I wanna talk about how I am pac mixed with big." OH MAN!! Each man catches fire in his own way, but the track is what sets them up. It is a wonderfully produced song that really lets each man go in and "catch wreck" as we used to say in the 90s. 5/5

5. The One- This was the actual first single with a girl on the hook singing "Sex and drugs and dirty money." The track has a little rock edge and the emcees follow suit with verses that name check rock stars and talk about rock star lives. It is sex drugs and rock and roll and is really the first song on the album that is not just about killing a track and the guys do not disappoint. The lyrics stay hot, but they all really stick to the concept of the song. Crooked I has my favorite verse, but because of his flow and how he lets the words at the end of each line sit for a second. Crooked is the one I knew least about in this group and this is where he started to make me take notice because he is not just rapping, he understands changing flows and style. Plus the song ends with Budden and Ortiz trading barbs in a couplet style verse, which I would have liked more of on the album. The sirens in the beat do get annoying after about 4 listens though. 4.5/5

6. Cukoo- This is a hate it or love track and I fall on the love it side. The beat is insane. The sounds come from out of left field and not always on the down beat. The guys let that beat guide where there verses go because the song takes on the persona of four crazy people. Each guy goes nuts on the track and talks about what kind of crazy shit they would do. It would be perfect to hear Eminem on it, but these four guys do their best Eminem. Joell does not sound terribly comfortable over this twisted kind of beat because he has trouble staying right on the beat, but I like that they branched out and went and got a very weird track. It is another song without a real hook, which starts to feel like the status quo for Slaughterhouse, but it works. 4.5/5

7. Onslaught 2- Anytime Fatman Scoop is on a track, it has a really good chance of being annoying. His voice on a hook really gets grating, but here Royce leads off and makes sure we ar not even paying attention to Scoop with lines like "If I ain't better than you I'm harder to beat/ Probably cause I live by the art of for-keeps" Then each guy follows up with similar hotness. I am not sure I am in love with the beat and I wouldn't mind more of a hook to break up the verses. I need a little time in between each guy to digest everything they just spit, but Slaughterhouse is more interested in being in my face or ears at all times. I can respect it, but when Fatman Scoop starts talking over the beat, I am not always able to appreciate lines from Joell like "I ain't shabby with the nouns, I ain't shitty with the verb/
When I reach heaven I want the nigga Biggie to be like "Word"" 4/5

8. Salute Me- Pharoahe Monch should never be on a song where he is just supplying the hook, even if his voice is perfect on this more somber track. The song mixes images of soldiers with images of street soldiers. Mr. Porter produced the song and gives Slaughterhouse the first beat on the album that is slower and darker. It makes the group slow down the proceedings and we are better for it because each guy has an impeccable slowed down flow. These guys are so incredibly versatile. The song is nothing new, but all the guys come with more emotion than the rest of the album so it means something. It matters to a certain extent that these guys have all had people turn their back on them. The lyrics go a little too far into the gun play talk of so much rap music, though so it is probably my least favorite track up to this point. 3.5/5

9. Pray- The song where they all get real and let us know where they came from and what happened in their lives to take them to this moment. It is a "hood track" where four guys without much hope display their problems and Joell leads it off talking about his bad clothes, his bad hair and his drug addicted mother. This kind of honesty right off the bat really sets the tone for everyone else to really confess their problems. I love the beat and how it sounds like marching if you really pay attention, but how it also sounds like the track is raining down on these guys as they try and wash themselves of their sins and problems. It is the track that really shows this group is capable of being more than hot emcees. They are well rounded and they can be honest without sacrificing lyrical ability.

10. Cut you Loose- Mr Porter is back with a soulful track for the group to really air out their problems with hip-hop. Royce begins the song with " Hello Hip-Hop, good bye music." Royce spends his verse talking about how backwards the game is how disrespectful towards hip-hop people have become. Crooked comes next and expresses how much he hates so much of the music he hears today and says he would rather be waterboarded than listen to the radio. This is another no hook having track but this is a song that does need one. It needs four guys who love hip-hop trying to get back to real hip-hop. Ortiz's verse drips with a sadness and an anger that a lot of fans have with so much of the rap music in the world. Budden comes last and brings it all together saying that hip-hop has started to really disgust him. It is a hard song to hear, but the truth is stark and I cannot argue with it. 5/5

11. Raindrops- This is another track where the guys go through hardships and express how it was growing up. It is a horribly pessimistic tracks with lyrics like "What you call livin' life, I call dyin' slow." It is deeply sad and incredibly dark and it is awesome. The beat is really perfect and the hook is heart breaking and each guy really unloads. Crooked I's voice is so angry and so full of hurt that each word tears through my ears like bullets piercing skin. Many rappers grow up in broken homes and many see a lot of death in their young lives, and this is the kind of song that results from that life. It is a reminder of just how good I have had it, but again, the guys do not let down their lyrical ability just because they are sad. The song is still full of great flow, diction, lyrics and delivery. 4.5/5

12. Killahz- Darkness permeates through every corner in this beat and Royce really gets things rolling with a verse about cutting some one's head off and dumping bodies in the river. The story telling is vivid and shocking, but so dope. The beat hits and Ortiz hits every line in perfect timing with how the beat moves. It is magical, even if they are really going dark here to wrap up the actual album. There is a girl on the hook just purring "I Love you baby" but the guys all respond "You in love with a killer." By the time this song comes up, you are sure you can understand the guys and this song sums up the album. They all come hard, it is dark and sad and the beat is perfect. 5/5

The following tracks are from the Slaughterhouse Mixtape:

13. Fight Klub- Fight Klub was a hip-hop club where emcees went to battle each other, so expect ill verses and crazy flow. Check and CHECK! Crooked I leads off and then Joe Budden picks up where he left off and then quickly Ortiz comes in. The guys are breaking rules about couplets and verses and they just want to tear into the track and they are not willing to wait, but Royce, for my money gets in the best with great lines like "The rap game like a St. Louis verses New York battle, nobody won/ A bunch of fuckin 2's and 3's like zone defense, and my personal favorite on the song:

Quit talkin 'bout me cause ya ass ain't dangerous
They call me Hustler because my mag game heinous
Show up to Detroit thinkin +Everybody Love+ you
And I'ma come and show you that ya ass ain't +Raymond+
Dumbin every line – me fuckin bitches
like the cops after a murder, they cummin/comin every time
Shell-toes and Wissam jacket, the contractor
Still pushin elbows like a linebacker
And y'all playin - my worldwide bitches
on my worldwide watch, I call it the broadband


WHOA!!! 5/5

14. Wack MCs- Sampling KRS1 is not something everyone should do, but these guys make the most of a song about wack emcees. This is pure vile anger aimed at a whole generation of wack emcees and the fans that pump them up for no reason. Slaughterhouse wants lyrics back in the game and they are going to do it themselves. Royce kills me with the making fun of the AUTOTUNE garbage. The song is about 4 people doing what they do best: lyrically killing a beat. It is awesome to hear 4 guys just after one thing which is to create the best hip-hop track they possibly can. Mixtape songs do not come much hotter than this! 5/5

15. Slaughterhouse- This is the ultimate posse song. Every single guy comes about as hard as humanly possible. In fact, they do not even seem human on this song. They are the ghosts of hip-hop veterans. They are the past, the present and the future for 7 minutes. 7 minutes in heaven takes on a whole new meaning. Everyone has punchlines, lyrics, flow, breath control, delivery and an ability to reduce the beat to blood and guts from stomping all over it. The amount of quotables on this track would take far too long to reprint, but I just want to produce one of the hottest lines I have heard in a long time from anyone and it comes from Joell Ortiz:

Never in a hundred years I thought I'd be a rapper
But in less than a hundred bars I knew I'd be a factor


And that is in the first verse!!! Someone get a fire extinguisher, Microphones are BLAZING!!! 5/5

16. Move on- At the beginning of this review I wrote that all four guys have felt disrespected by labels. This is the song where each of the guys takes time to explain everything that has happened in the industry and how they are ready to move on from all of their issues. The song acts as an interview; the last interview they will ever have about these topics. Joell talks about his drug addicted mother and his short stint on Dr. Dre's Aftermath label. Joe talks about all the problems his big mouth have got him in; Crooked I talks about the west coast and how he has separated himself from Death Row and then Royce talks about how he and Eminem grew apart and how he wishes the things said were never said. Each guy does a really good job of explaining things without pandering and the beat stays hot without doing too much. Each guy goes in for about 32 bars instead of 16 so we get 8 minutes worth of a dope song that shows four guys that are true emcees and guys to be reckoned with in this hip-hop game. 5/5

Slaughterhouse represents everything that I love about rap music. Four guys came together without trying to outdo each other in an effort to promote good music. The album is nearly flawless and has been on repeat for a month now. It is the kind of album I will go back to for years to come. It is the kind of album that makes you fall in love with music all over again. Joe, Royce, Crooked and Joell are all talented emcees on their own, but together they can be unstoppable!