There has always been three things to expect from a Michael Mann picture-slow openings, great performances and amazing shootouts. Miami vice has the slow opening and has a singular above average shoot out but gets horrid performances from normally talented people.
This movie is supposedly a remake of the 1980's Don Johnson television show, however it looks and sounds nothing like it. Why they didn't just make this movie and change the character names so it wouldn't be a TV show rip off is beyond me. Wait, scratch that, why they made this movie at all is beyond me. The opening sequence makes no sense and don't think it really did anything to introduce us to the characters or to the story we were about to witness. The movie apparently takes place in Miami and Cuba, both of which usually appear to be sexy destinations but this movie has about as much sex appeal as Rosie O' Donnel. Colin Farrell with his trailer park mullet and 70's porn mustache can't seem to spit words out without trying to sexily whisper them and the sexy body having Asian chick he hooks up with was certainly not picked for the role based on level of skill as an actress. But as sexy as she is, she can't heat up the clunky, cheesy exchanges with Farrell and the sex scenes are not at all sexy. They are thrown together and lack any sort of fire.
Academy award winner and platinum selling singer Jaime Foxx doesn't fare much better. While he certainly looks the part of cool and has all kind of talent and charisma, it is all wasted here in a horribly written undeveloped character. All of Jamie's natural humor is wasted as he plays an overly serious cop. He also has no chemistry with his leading lady, Naomie Harris, who was seen earlier this summer in the catastrophe that was Pirates 2. Michael Mann throws both couples in showers together, yet the only steam that arises is from that water. Jaime Foxx gets maybe one joke to crack and it comes during one of those oddly placed sex scenes.
In Heat Michael Mann gave us the single best shoot out ever in cinema. Disagree with me if you want, just know I am right. I had heard that the final shoot out in this film would rival that so while I hated the rest of this movie I anxiously awaited that finale. It so was not worth the wait. As great of a shoot out as it was, it was too short given how long it took to get there. The gun shots sound more amazing than any other, but it doesn't save the movie. In the end, none of it makes any sense. You don't know if someone was double crossed and the only thing worth cheering for is when Jaime Foxx gets his revenge and splatters the bad guy all over the conveniently very white wall.
I was very excited about this movie. I have liked Colin Farrell since Tigerland (go look it up) and I have found Jaime Foxx to be a tremendous actor since Any Given Sunday. Yes, Michael Mann often makes heavy handed, slow movies like Ali and the Insider but when he gets it right (collateral. Parts of Heat) he makes great movies. This had all the fixings to be good summer fun at worst, but everything about this movie was awful, except for the use of the Jay-z. Linkin Park mash-up at the opening.
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