Avoiding the first weekend pirate crazies, Erik and I ventured to the latest installment of "operation: Mainstream Johnny Depp." After a few worthless trailers the much anticipated movie began with a fizzle. I am not going to lie, I was ready to leave after an hour of this mostly useless sequel. For the first hour, Johnny Depp runs and falls like he was in a bad Charlie Chaplin movie, while pretty boy Orlando whines and sexy accented Keira Knightley pouts. Johnathon Price is back as Keira's father, however he is mostly pointless. The new villain is a squid looking, no nosed creature played boringly by Bill Nighy and his merry band of mostly cgi'ed miscreants, marble mouth their way through trite cliched bad guy dialogue.
After an hour and forty five minutes of utter nonsense, the movie picks up steam. They land on the island where the "dead man's chest" is and thus begins a 3 way swordfight featuring some of the craziest fight choreography this side of those off the wall Chinese action movies. The 3-way sword fight gives way to an amazing sword wielding Keira knightley and the cgi'ed evildoers. Then there is a fairly exciting scene on the Black Pearl ship, involving what is called a "dragon." The scene fortifies Orlando;s character as the brilliant pirate he is thought to be. Of course the movie really belongs to Johnny Depp, so he gets to kiss those pouty, sexy lips of the stick figured Knightley leading to an over- dramatic slow motion Johnny Depp shot. The final scene sets up the next movie wonderfully and also lends hope that Pirates 3 will not be the colossal waste of money this installment was. Well, one can hope anyway.
2 comments:
Couldnt agree more. I was disappointed, especially because I had gone to attempt to see it once before, and it was sold out. So, I thought it would be really good, but it was really just a set-up for the third one. Oh, and the kid who was next to me had HORRIBLE B.O, so that ruined my viewing experience as well :-P
You made some wonderful points, and I do agree that the third installment will be well worth the wait.
Aside, you need to watch your punctuation, and you threw out quite a few big words there, but often in the wrong places. Keep practicing, you have the makings of a great writer.
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