The Final Destination (Death spoilers)

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Anytime Movies

An Anytime Movie is a movie you can put on at anytime and be perfectly content. They are movies that do not depend on mood. You do not worry about how long they are, or anything else. They suit you at anytime. They are rainy day movies, or I-am-not-doing-anything-else movies. They are go to standards. This collection does not represent my all time favorite movies, but the movies I can put on and be immediately happy I did. Yes, two are featured in my all time favorites, but that is not the point. These are the movies that do something to me every time. Movies I never tire of. I have 25 of these movies and for the next five Sundays I will be rolling out 5 of them. They will be semi-grouped into genre or have a connection in some way.

I will begin with action movies. Not only are these my Anytime Movies, but if someone wanted to watch an action movie, these are most likely going to be the ones I ask them about first. They appear in no specific order.

1. Bad Boy 2- You can have the first one, but this one is magic. The movie opens with Will Smith revealing himself under a KKK sheet and then it just goes from there. You get dead bodies being thrown out on the street, Martin Lawrence under the influence of drugs and the standard Michael Bay action shots. It satisfies on many levels. It is hilarious because of Will Smith; it has great explosions, an awesome car chase, sexy girls and a totally over the top ridiculous ending in a mine field!! Pure action does not get much more entertaining.

2. The Rock- My second Michael Bay choice, but bad action just does not get any better than this. How can anyone not like a movie with a character named Stanley Goodspeed. Just the idea of using the only guy to break out of Alcatraz to help the good guys break in is awesome. But you add the great scene of Nic Cage going all slow motion to inject himself, with wailing cheesy guitars and smoke and wind in the background and you have perfection. You also get Sean Connery spouting off great lines like "Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." What is not to love?

3. Shoot Em Up- I might not suggest this to other people unless they like totally comic ridiculous action, because this movie is not meant to be taken seriously, but it is a movie I always enjoy. It gives me great action, amazingly perfect Clive Owen, and it is visually interesting. The director knows what he is doing and it is meant to just be enjoyed. I think people expect something different so often they do not like it, but when you understand it is not meant to be serious, you can enjoy it. The gun play is totally cool and it comes in at roughly 85 minutes, so you get a lot of fast paced action in a short amount of time. Plus, Owen uses a carrot as a weapon, more than once!

4. Crank- This is another example of totally over the top action. I would not recommend this to many people as it is offensive in many many ways, but it really kicks ass. Just the idea of a guy having to keep his adrenaline up to stay alive is awesome enough, but that he does it with fighting, drugs and public sex is even more awesome. Jason Statham clearly does not care what anyone thinks and is out to make whatever makes him happy and Crank shows that. Picking one or two moments is nearly impossible because the whole movie is just balls to the wall nuts. I am sure when Crank 2 comes out on DVD, I will prefer that one because it is even crazier, but for now, this will do.

5. Spiderman 2- I do not feel like this movie really fits in with the other ones in this category, but it is an action movie. It just is a serious action film that is actually incredible. It is the tops of Superhero movies, in my eyes, as a far as just being to enjoy it on every level. Everything works, but the casting of Alfred Molina was just brilliant. His Doc Ock is wonderful, helped by the masterful effects of Doc Ock's tentacles. A Key scene for me is the train scene, even though a lot of people did not like that it revealed Spiderman, I think it works as a crazy action scene, but also a nice little moment at the end of it.

Well there you have it, the first installment of Anytime Movies. I would love to hear what some of your Anytime Movies are, and they do not have to follow the genres I am laying out, but in case you want that, allow me to lay out how the next four will go.

Next Week: Comedies
Third Week: Comedies with a twist
Week Four: Horror
Week Five: hyper literate action/awesome/thrillers/comedies

Donkey Punch and Hostel (Spoilers)

I am going to break away from my usual Wednesday format, which I guess is not surprising because Wednesdays have been kind of up in the air in general. However, I wrote a little essay last week and I am going to kind of do an essay/dvd review this week in place of music video reviews.

Last night as I was perusing the Watch Insantly feature on Netflix I stumbled onto a movie called Donkey Punch. I remember hearing about it and I had 90 minutes to kill so I watched it. Yes, I watched it to be able to say I watched a movie called Donkey Punch. For those of you unversed in what a Donkey Punch is, go google it or something. I will say it is a sexual act and as the title of this movie, it features prominently into the plot of the film. In fact, the sexual act is not teased at, or hinted at, it is shown in its entirety.

The movie is about 3 girls who end up on a boat with 4 guys they have just met. They drink with them, do drugs with them and then 2 of the girls take 3 of the guys in the big bedroom on the boat and they have an orgy, which ends with a donkey punch, which kills the girl on the receiving end of the donkey punch. From there the movie spirals into a cabin feverish movie where all of the characters get a chance to be crazy as they decide what to do. People cry, people die and friends are turned against each other.

The movie is nothing special, except for the rawness of the sex. The people are pretty, the movie never gets gory enough to be offensive, the acting is bad, the script is bad, yet I found myself kind of intrigued by the movie.

In Horror films the slutty girls always die and the virginal girl always lives. Donkey Punch is basically the same way, except it has more in common with Hostel, than a slasher flick. In Hostel, a group of young men get to live in a fantasy for the first 35 minutes of the movie. They get drugs, alcohol and sex with hot girls and then they spend the final hour of the movie paying for it. The guys are lured, by the sexy girls into a den of torture as punishment for their fantasy. The fantasy turns into a living nightmare. In Donkey Punch, the "virginal" girl wants to forget her stupid ex-boyfriend and to do so, the girls join these guys on their boat. They get the free alcohol, the free drugs and the sex and then they all pay for it, most with the lives.

It has never paid to be promiscuous in the horror film genre, but it was different in Hostel. In most horror films the couples having sex know each other, or are couples, but in Hostel and Donkey Punch, they are strangers. The movies begin as fantasies. Donkey Punch examines how friendships are tested in an untimely death, but it also is warning about the dangers of going home with someone you just met. The guys all seem very nice at first, but when the shit hits the fan, the guys turn out to not be so nice. Guys and girls, both put on their best faces when you first meet them and maybe going out to sea with them right after that is not such a smart idea. When tragedy strikes these people, they do not band together because they do not know each other. They are weary of each other.

In Hostel, one of those weird movies I love that most people hate, the guys fall victim to the hot foreign girls and spend the movie getting limbs sliced off, and enduring ungodly other tortures. This is what happens when you allow yourself to be led around by super hot girls you do not know. If the guys were not so interested in sex with these random girls, they probably would have made it out just fine. Now, the biggest difference in Hostel and most horror movies is that a guy is the main character. We are looking at the horror genre through the eyes of a male, and when a guy fights back it is a little different. The guy is not fighting to survive, he is fighting for revenge.

In Donkey Punch the girl only fights when she feels she has to to, but in Hostel, the guy finds a way to go kill everyone he can, even after he is free. In Donkey Punch and Hostel there is 1 survivor, but the way they got there is different. However, the message is the same: Be careful who you sleep with and be careful who you trust because when you do not know someone, you cannot know their motives and you might get punched in the back of the head right before an orgasm and die, or you might end up being hacked up by crazy people.

I know most people just see these movies as stupid or silly or pointless, but there is a point here and I like it. I am not suggesting we start showing these kinds of movies in high schools or anything, but they can have merit if you look at them the right way. Donkey Punch is a movie based on a silly premise about silly sex acts, but in a way it is warning us, not only of possibly painful sex acts, but warning us about going somewhere with strangers. Eli Roth's Hostel is torture porn, sure, but it works because of how the fantasy is set up. Everything goes the way the guys want until they are tortured.

In The Loop

I maintain that the trailer for this movie is one of the most well put together trailers for a comedy that I have ever seen. And for that reason, I am going to embed the trailer here for you to see.



Okay, now that that is out of the way, I can begin.

I am not going to concern myself, or you readers with plot or story for very long because there is not much of one. A politician in Britain goes on a radio show and says "war is unforeseeable", but that is not the company line and he gets reamed for it, but he also gets on the radar of some people in America who are anti-war. Then there is a war committee that believes war in inevitable. What kind of war, you ask? I have no idea, but then again, the movie does not seem to know either. There is also a girl who wrote a paper about the pros and cons of war, with the cons far outweighing the pros. The movie culminates in a rush to start or stop a war, I think.

To be honest, the story/plot of this movie is what is holding it back from reaching its true potential. Once the story gets going, the movie loses steam, it loses the comic steam. For the first 30 very profane hilarious minutes, the movie crackles with wit, vulgarity and the fast paced dialogue of The West Wing. In fact, the characters in this movie might actually out talk Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman and company. If the stuff in the trailer makes you laugh, there is a good chance that a fair number of jokes will get you. The one-liners come so fast and so furiously that if one doesn't hit, there will be another one only seconds away that will make you forget the ones that do not work.

On the forefront of it all is Peter Capaldi playing Malcolm Tucker. His performance is so hilarious and vulgar that he gives Samuel L. Jackson a run for his money on ability to make the F word count. The dude is simply brilliant in his ability to deliver line with such ferocity that you never doubt his character is capable of doing the outlandish and horrible things he threatens he can do. There is a method to his madness and I want to put down my favorite line, but be warned it is vulgar "Well, it is out there, it's out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coat station. You know, if I could, I'd punch you into paralysis!" he does not deliver it as a joke or as irony, he goes into the line with the force of a linebacker punishing a Quarterback with a late hit. He means every word that he spits out and every time he is on the screen, the movie is infinitely better.

If a movie can suffer from having a great trailer, this is that movie. The actual movie lingers for about 20 minutes too long and about half way through I was kind of bored by following what was going on. I wanted more lines like "I can't stand to see a woman bleed from the mouth. It reminds me of that Country & Western music which I cannot abide." I wanted less time focused on what was actually going on. Now, I am sure there is a lot of commentary on politics and media overseas in this movie. I am sure the whole constituent wall plotline has relevance somewhere, but I just did not care. Steve Coogan's cameo made me sit up for a few seconds, but after a minute or so, I was just waiting for more rapid fire lines, vulgar put downs and pop culture references.

There is a really nice sight gag featuring James Gandolfini, in his full on military outfit, sitting on a child's bed typing out the numbers of troops into a child's calculator with all the sounds that come along with a child's toy, but for the most part any of the comedy that comes from any place other than the dialogue and how it is delivered, fails. In the end, I am glad I went and saw the movie because the first 30-40 minutes offers such amazing laughs that it would have been a shame to miss them. If the trailer does nothing for you, or if you think vulgarity is offensive and unfunny, stay away, and if you decide to see it, just know that it may fall short of the potential you saw in it.

Final Grade: C+

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Normally, this would be the kind of movie I would throw on my Netflix Queue and then when it came towards the top of the Queue I would probably knock it back down for a while before finally letting it come to me. I love me some Jeremy Piven, but it was not really something I needed to see. Then, my Regal Club Card spit out a free ticket for me after purchasing a ticket to see Julie and Julia. The free tickets are good for a while but, I like to use mine pretty quickly because, let's face it, I prefer to see movies on opening weekend and this free ticket is not valid opening weekend, so I always use it for some movie I might not otherwise see. So, those are the expectations I had: none.

Don Ready(Piven) was born to sell. When he was a kid he convinced another kid to trade his bike wheel bike for Don's bouncing ball. Don is a slick talker and a guy who can close. He is the owner of a company of 4 that travels the country helping car dealerships sell their cars in a crunch. His team consists of Jibby(Ving Rhames) a man who has never made love to a woman (He has lots of sex, but has never made love), Brent Gage(David Koechner) the money man who can get anyone approved and Babs(Katherine Hahn), a big breasted woman with the mouth like a guy. The crew is called to Temicula Ca, to help Selleck motors sell all 204 cars off their lot over 4th of July weekend. Ben Selleck(James Brolin) is a desperate man trying to hold on to his company, when a rival (Alan Thicke, Yes that Alan Thicke) wants to buy him out. Don feels himself falling for Sellecks daughter, Ivy (The super adorable Jordana Spiro), but he cannot find it himself to love because of some tragedy that happened about a year ago in another town, at another dealership that has left Don crippled emotionally.

The Goods is about as mixed a bag of laughs that a movie can be. There are truly hilarious bits and just atrocious bits. There is no real cohesive feeling throughout the movie because it is really just a collection of bits. Among the bits that do not work are jokes where Rob Riggle is playing a 10 year old boy with a gland problem has him looking like a full grown adult that Babs is very keen on having sex with. Then there is a running gag about Daddy Selleck wanting to have a gay rendezvous with Brent Gage. There is the hardened old racist/misogynist who cannot speak without swearing and Ving Rhames quest to make love, only to find that making love is boring and sex is better when you need a safe word. I believe Rhames' safe word was "blueberries", but I could be wrong.

Now there are bits that very much work. My favorite involved Ed Helms as Ivy's fiance whose dream is to have his boy-band, Big Ups, becoming the next Backstreet Boys because in his words "Backstreet Boys came along and revolutionized music." I was worried that the boy band jokes would be stale, but it actually felt nostalgic and fresh and Ed Helms is just so good at playing an entitled asshole, that it works. My second favorite running joke was Craig Robinson as a DJ that goes by DJ Request, but every time someone requested something he would play something that was on the complete opposite end of the musical spectrum because no one tells him how to do his job. The final stuff that really worked for me involved a cameo by Will Ferrell. I normally do not like that guy, but his three scenes were really quite funny, especially his first one.

No one is better at playing a fast talking douche bag than Jeremy Piven, but he is unfortunately at the center of some awkward moments. All of the possibly serious moments in the movie walk this odd line between trying to be comically over the top and depressing, and Piven does his best to walk that line, but it is just bad. After finding out some depressing news Piven loses it, but I think he was trying to go over the top on purpose but it came off just looking like really bad acting. I do not want to play Piven because he is better than that, but the tone is just all off. Now, the silly premise for the tragedy that is haunting Don affords the movie an out from being serious in any moment, but for a movie that is all about selling, it never sells us that Don Ready can really be sincere and therefore him getting the girl at the end is just a silly movie conceit.

The Goods would not have been worth my money, but since I saw it for free, I was okay with it. I got some laughs out of it, including a few pretty hearty laughs. I got my quota of laughing at deeply offensive racist jokes and misogynistic jokes. I was bummed that Ken Jeong and Toly Hale were grossly underused given how funny both those men can be, but I think that is a big part of the problem. The writers and director are trying so hard to fill the movie with the biggest gags, or stupidest jokes because they do they not really know what they are doing. To a certain extent The Goods come off as one of those parody films that just throws everything at the wall to see what will stick, but in this film some of it actually sticks. Loading the cast so that it is full of comic character actors was a smart move, but maybe there was just too much going on at all times. Piven can lead a movie, but I think he needed a better movie to showcase that.

Final Grade: D+

Inglourious Basterds

Before I begin:

Inglourious Basterds will be I.B. for this review
Quentin Tarantino will be QT for this review.

I do this because if I spell out the title, my spell check will want to keep changing it and because I cannot spell Quentin Tarantino's name properly for an entire review.

Yes, when QT directs a movie, I get excited. I am unabashedly a fan of the man's work. He directs the kinds of movies, I would make, if I had the talent because he comes from the film school of just watching movies. Now, I rarely get 85% of his references because his knowledge of obscure cinema is ridiculous, but I almost always gets what he is trying to do. Now, that is to say, I just blindly love the man's films. Kill Bill remains one of the biggest disappoints of my life, in terms of film. The movie was too indulgent and too boring for me and I have been angry ever since. When I first heard about I.B. many many years ago, I was excited about the idea, until I saw Kill Bill and worried that I.B. could very well end up exactly like Kill Bill. Well, the first teaser showed up in my inbox about three weeks before it officially came out and I watched it about 15 times a day; I was hooked. I needed this movie and then the posters, more trailers, short television spots and interviews started filtering out and it was official, this was the movie I was most excited about for about a month. However, as I learned from District 9 and a few others this summer, getting super excited about a movie can very much lead to disappointment.

"Once Upon a Time....In Nazi Occupied France" a group of Jewish soldiers, led by Lt. Aldo Raine(Brad Pitt) terrorized Nazi soldiers by killing and maiming them. The groups called The Basterds, became infamous to the Nazi soldiers, a constant thorn in Hitler's side. These soldiers were merciless and methodical and Raine required every man in his group to bring him 100 Nazi scalps. That is one story. Another story concerns a French cinema being forced to host the next film in a long line of Nazi propaganda. This cinema, run by a young beautiful woman, Shoshanna Dreyfus(Melanie Laurant) is a gorgeous theater and the woman, has a secret but this secret leads her to want to kill all of the Nazis. So, she comes up with a plan to do just that. This film premiere is going to be such a big boost to the Nazi morale that Hitler decides he needs to attend the premiere and when the Basterds get wind of this, they also want to crash the party, with the help of an actress/spy Bridget Von Hammersmark(Diane Kruger). Through all of this, a brilliant, brutal and charming Nazi Colonel named Hans Landa is on the hunt for the Basterds and as he is known as the "Jew Hunter" he hunts Jews, especially ones that are hidden or perhaps Jews who are hiding in plain sight.

I.B. is split into 5 chapters, like a story, like a fictional story. It begins with the words "Once Upon a Time..." just like a story, like a fantasy story. Right off the bat QT is letting his audience know this is a fantasy. This is not the WWII we know from the history books, or from the stories of the people who were there. This is a pure fantasy. It is a revenge fantasy where a character nicknamed The Jew Bear(Eli Roth, not so much an actor) swings a baseball bat at the heads of German soldiers. It is a fantasy story that uses Samuel L. Jackson in a touch of post modern charm, in voice over narration explaining just how flammable film is. It is pure fantasy where the ending of WWII is changed to fit QT's vision of it. It is an audacious move. it is a move that requires balls, arrogance and serious talent. Luckily, QT has all three of those qualities in spades.

I.B. is, without question, a masterpiece in my eyes. The writing is crisp, no matter what language it is in (English, German, French and Italian are spoken). The camera work and direction are spot on. With QT being such a dialogue oriented director, he has to help give the movie punch, with a unique visual flare and with very tight close ups and nice circular camera shots (A QT staple) QT revs up the tension in every scene, even when two people are just sitting and chatting. Then you have wonderfully broad characters which allow the actors free reign to do what they want and QT gets exactly what he needs. Pitt's overdone southern drawl is perfectly hilarious and it makes us think that maybe Raine is not so smart, but is that just deceptive? Pitt's delivery of his opening monologue is pitch perfect and since the monologue is full of bad ass QT pulpy lines, Pitt does not have to over sell them.

Then you have Christopher Waltz. The man is a flat out stud. I had never heard of this man before. He is an Austrian actor, who from the looks of it has done a lot of Austrian television. Well, QT sure knows how to pick them because the man is brilliant. It takes a lot to make a Nazi movie that features Hitler and have someone other than Hitler be the main villain. Hitler, in this, is almost comic relief, but Waltz's Hans Landa is not to be messed with. From the opening scene, where he wonderfully mixes Tarantino's amazing dialogue (featuring a long metaphor about hawks and rats), with a perfect use of the props he is handed and a performance that should be mentioned among the best, most nasty villains, ever. Then, from that first scene, we are always scared of what he will do and what he knows. QT mentioned, in an interview with Roger Ebert, that he did not let Waltz rehearse with any of the actors because he wanted Waltz to surprise his co-stars. Well, kudos to that decision because I think it made the other actors on edge. His confrontation with Diane Kruger pops with the kind of unknown intensity that leaves an audience breathless. The scene transcends QT's foot fetish moment and then takes a pretty shocking turn.

QT said he never gave up on writing the movie because of the opening scene. He knew that scene was good. He undersold it, because it is amazing, but for my money, the basement bar scene is the best scene. QT has often mixed the mundane with the violent and this scene perfectly captures that ideal, all while keeping the dialogue and intensity popping. It is a lengthy scene with ebbs and flows but it never gets boring. The entire scene is played like everyone knows some serious shit is about to go down, they just do not know when. and then when it does pop off, wow, awesome. There are about 4 or 5 scenes that just play as perfection, but this one is the one right in the middle that just makes the movie.

When you watch a QT movies you also know to expect perfectly chosen music. I do not know what 95% of the music is, or where it comes from, but it is all perfectly placed. I love if you close your eyes there are many times that feel like a western from the music and the feel of the picture. I love how QT throws in modern sounding music, in a WWII film. The music always helps capture a specific mood and it can set a scene apart and make the scene work. The climatic music is so wonderful that it elevates the scene from a regular climax to something beyond a climax. it becomes this blend of fire, bullets, music, mayhem and beauty.

In fact, QT's ability to turn mayhem into beauty is what sets him apart. Yes, he is a polarizing figure and yes, he is an indulgent director, but when his indulgence leads to something that has grace mixed with seriously brutal violence, I cannot complain. I.B. does not have the pop culture rat-rat-rat dialogue, but the dialogue still pops. Yes, the biggest star in a QT movie is QT. The individuals are never as important in how the movie looks, sounds to feels. Everything about it is a movie and QT is never going to apologize for making a movie that looks like a movie. He even ends this movie in a movie theater. His love of cinema melts off the screen in a hail of fire and gunsmoke and he will never be sorry for that. It turns people off, but it also captures the imaginations of people like me. He understands how to set up a shot. He knows how to make the movie look effortlessly cool and he does not underestimate the value of "cool." He is a visionary who has changed violent, post modern pop culture the way Steven Speilberg changed the blockbuster or Martin Scorsese changed the gangster genre, or Hitchcock changed how horror movies were made. I do not speak in hyperbole, I really believe this. QT believes in the statement "Go big of go home." He goes big every time and I.B. is his masterpiece. It is the most QT movie ever, which is saying something because it takes place during WWII.

I.B. will undoubtedly turn people off because of its length, or violence, or lack of truth, but it is all of those things that make it. A QT WWII movie needs to be 150 minutes long. It needs to be violent in brutal bursts of blood, scalps and bullets. It has to be fictional. I.B. owns its faults, its flaws and it owns the QT fetishes, but most of all it owns this amazing performance from Christopher Waltz and this wonderful Brad Pitt performance. QT will always be a guy who does things on his terms on his timeline and when Brad Pitt's last line is, and I am paraphrasing, "You know, I think this might just be my masterpiece" I was not sure if that was Aldo Raine talking, or QT talking, but either way, yes, yes it is.

Final Grade: A+

Previewing 2009's fall television

For me, Fall is not the best time for television, but it lends itself to me watching new shows because Lost, 24, Friday Night Lights, Chuck and American Idol do not reappear until Spring. Taylor asked about the new shows, so I thought I would give two separate lists. The lists will be of 5 shows I will definitely be watching and 5 that I might check out.

The 5 shows I will be checking for

5. Cougar Town- ABC Wed. @ 9:30- I do not know much about this show except it is created by Bill Lawrence, who created Scrubs and it stars Courtney Cox, who was hilarious in her two episode Scrubs arc. I know what a cougar is, so I am assuming it is about Courtney getting back into the dating pool and dating young men. She is hot, so it should work.

4. Modern Family- ABC Wed. @ 9:00- The critics all seem to be raving about this one right now. It is another single camera sitcom similar to The Office, but it follows three families, all very different, that live next to each other. Ed O'Neil back on television is always good and having him playing someone who has married a sexy younger girl feels like we are watching an Al Bundy dream. There is also a gay couple who have a newborn, that is supposed to be very funny.

3. Community- NBC Thurs. @ 9:30 for a few weeks, then 8:00- All I really need to know is that Joel McHale is in it. That is enough to sell me, but you add Chevy Chase and have the show set in a Community College and I am 100% sold. I have not seen any clips or anything, but I have read some early reviews and they are pretty positive. I am happy to see Joel McHale getting bigger, because he is really super funny. Oh snap, Ken Jeong is also in this show! This should be hilarious.

2. Flash Forward- ABC Thurs. @ 8:00- Some say this is ABC's attempt to replace Lost. Joseph Fiennes and John Cho topline this show about what would happen if the entire world blacked out for a period of time and in that blackout everyone saw 5 years into their own future. It was being helmed by David S. Goyer, who wrote versions of the new Batman movie scripts and the clips I have seen look pretty interesting. Serialized shows are difficult, because of the fear of a show being cancelled, but ABC has a lot riding on this show and are pumping it up pretty well. I am very excited for it.

1. Glee- FOX Wed. 9:00- With the series premiere already behind us due to Fox's crazy excitement over this show, it is easy to know what this show is. The series premiere was fun and interesting and I am pretty sure this one will succeed. The cast is wonderful and they have a good line up of guest stars coming in. The big draw is the music and in the first episode it did not disappoint. Fox is going to release albums of the music, so the show will definitely be making money. I think this is a sure fire winner and I am excited that will be on in less than a month.

5 shows I might check out (in no real order)

Vampire Diaries- The CW Thurs. @ 8:00- I like vampires and it happens to be on right before Supernatural, so I might just combo these bad boys for a little while. I do not know much about the show, but they were promoting the hell out of it in Los Angeles when I was down there, so they are excited about it. Vampires are hot right now and maybe this will end up being an over saturation of it, but we shall see. It is a show about pretty young people, which is a guilty pleasure of mine.

Melrose Place- The CW Tues. @ 9:00- I did not stick with 90210 last season and I do not see myself actually making it through an entire season of this show, but with many of the original cast members coming back and a few really hot girls on the show, I will most likely give it a shot. The original was supposed to be an older version fo the original 90210, but this seems like kind of the same thing as 90210, so I doubt it will be worth watching for long, but we shall see.

Trauma- NBC Mon. @ 9:00- I do not watch any procedurals, but the previews this are pretty exciting and I like Derek Luke as an actor. The show follows a trauma team of paramedics, I think. Maybe it is entire trauma team, including cops and all that good stuff, I don't know. What I do know is there are a lot of explosions and even a helicopter crash, so I am in for a little while until the procedural stuff gets too boring as it always does.

Three Rivers- CBS Sun. @ 9:00 (which is always 8:00 here)-A doctor procedural that focuses on organ transplants sounds promising. The cast is strong- Alex O' Loughlin, Alfree Woodard, Katherine Moening and Julia Ormond- and CBS does procedurals very well, so it could be worth checking out on Sunday nights after Football. We shall see.

The Forgotten- ABC Tues- @ 10:00- Christian Slater is the star of this show and that is the only reason I will check it out. I like him and I wanted his show last season to succeed. It is another procedural, and I do not have a lot of patience for the same thing over and over again, but I love Slater and Michelle Borth is super hot.

And finally the returning shows that will be prominently featured in my Sunday television recaps:

How I met your Mother
Big Bang Theory
So you think you can Dance
Supernatural
The Office
Grey's Anatomy
Dollhouse
Dexter
Californication

The movies in my life

I can vaguely recall E.T being my first movie going experience, which should be impossible because I was 2 years old at the time. My mom does not believe that I really remember it, but I remember E.T scaring me and crying and being taken out of the theater and then bugging my mother to take me back over and over. I swear I remember, unless my mother has just told me the story so much that I think I remember. I guess that is possible, but whether the memory is real or not, the fact remains that even though it scared me and even though I had to be taken out, I wanted to go back! I wanted to see it over and over again.

I played sports growing up, which account for most of my pre-Woodland memories and my childhood was full of seeing every band in concert I could ever dream of seeing. I was blessed with a father and mother who wanted me to have everything I could want. Yet, the thing that has seemed to stick the most is movies. Our family has a pretty typical tradition for Thanksgiving and Christmas of going to see a movie, but our tradition always begins a month in advance as we all decide which movie to see. This is an important decision. Our Christmas movie has become such a big deal that two toher families come with us and a family friend always comes with us whenever he is in town; it is ingrained in all of us to go on Christmas day. At various points in my life, my entire family has spent one night a week watching a movie from Blockbuster, my parents frequently go on dates to movies and my father and I will often to go catch movies together.

Growing up Mormon, Sundays were family days. Therefore Sundays became the one day a week my brothers and I got along. Our Sunday activities varied over the years, but from the time we were 11 until we were about 14, Travis and I would create entire worlds of movies. We did not have cameras, so they were not shot, but we mapped our characters, plots and then went loose and acted them out. Of course, they were mostly action movies, but we had some straight up comedies and some adventure flicks. It got to the point where we created fictional actors that would show up in our movies and every so often we create our own Movie Awards. We were not joking around. My favorite actor was Kenny Anderson. I played him, and he was like what Will Smith is now, yes I even played him as a black man. During the summer when we were getting along Travis and I would get dropped off at the movie theater and take in a double feature.

The movies of my childhood were more than just ways for my parents to keep me busy. I wanted to go home and re-create these stories with a Kyle twist. Bill and Ted's Excellent adventure became a way for me to pull The Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters and Dick Tracy into the same story in my room with the action figures. We spent hours setting up all our action figures to create the story and then we would spend hours playing out our movies. I did not really know it at the time, but those Sundays would be the foundation of my criticism of film. Anyone can tell a story; hell we all love telling stories, so it became about how we told the story. It was about how we made our Dick Tracy different from the Warren Beaty film. Or how our Goonies like story included not pirates, but gangsters, or whatever. My entire experience growing up was readying me for a lifetime of loving movies.

Sports, especially baseball, have always been my first love, but the love I have for movies has become what defines me. It does not take people long after meeting me to see that movies figure prominently into my every day life. Get me going on the camera work in Children of Men or the story telling of The Lord of the Rings, or even the comedy in Tommy Boy and it becomes clear that movies are ingrained in me. I am not technical about movies and I am still learning terms and still learning the process of movie making, but that is what is exciting to me. I feel like I can never learn everything there is to learn. I can watch a movie 50 times and then on the 51 time find something completely new that I did not see before.

I recently finished Robert Rodriguez's amazing book Rebel without a Crew and it filled me with the desire to go back and watch all of the movies that made me fall in love in the first place and then go watch the movies that keep me falling in love with movies. I am not sure if it will turn into anything for the blog, but starting next week I am going to start watching all these movies I have loved my whole life and then the movies I have fallen in love with recently. The wonderful thing about this is that every year I see 2 or 3 movies that remind me why I love movies and I have already seen like 4 or 5 this year and the year still has 5 and a half months left!

The Time Traveler's Wife

Somewhere there is someone smarter than I and that person can perfectly explain how the events in this movie can exist. Somewhere there is someone who can explain why Eric Bana looks exactly the same no matter how old or young he is with the exception of some grey in his hair. Somewhere there is someone who can explain to me why a couple would choose a song called "Love will tear us apart" as their first dance at their wedding. If that person is out there, please contact me.

Henry(Bana) and Clare(Rachel McAdams) are just like every other married couple; they fight because Henry is not home enough. She gets lonely and does not want to put her life on hold while he away all day, or all week, or for two weeks. He is just missing. Well, okay, he is not just missing because he is a time traveler. If you want an explanation for this, go elsewhere because the best we are going to get is some sort of genetic issue. He goes missing for days and days, and Clare is left to wonder if he is okay. Now, she knew about his condition before she married him. In fact, she has known since she was 7 years old thanks to one seriously creepy scene, where Henry, in his 30s, shows up to Clare's when Clare is 7 and he tells her they are friends in the future. So, her entire life has been wrapped up in Henry. Henry cannot control his time traveling, but when it is convenient for the story, he can predict when it will happen. For example, when he wants to show Clare he is a time traveler, it happens, yet when he is carrying plates to the dinner table, it hits him suddenly and he drops the plates. It is never explained why he can sometimes know when it is coming and other times not.

There is probably a romantic movie in here somewhere and maybe the women of the world find this romantic, but I do not get it. There is no real heat or passion between this perfectly attractive couple and the story unfolds in such a boring, typical way that it is difficult to get invested in the story. Also, how many montages about time travel can one movie have?? This movie thinks 4 is a good number. We get it, he time travels and he time travels naked and he has to break the law to survive.

The time travel effect is pretty nice, especially the final time and I guess there is a little suspense towards the end, even if the story gets totally bizarre when Clare gets pregnant. The minutes she miscarries and thinks the fetus might be a time traveler as well, I started to think a time traveling fetus movie would be infinitely more interesting than this one. How would people react to seeing a fetus appear and disappear? Where would the fetus go? If Henry often travels to the big moment in his own life, would the fetus keep going back to the night of conception? If the fetus were to then be born, would be traumatized by having witnessed it's parents having sex over and over again? Then, I began to wonder if the sex the fetus witnessed had any heat or passion because the sex in this movie did not.

Also, the question has to be asked, "If you are married to the 35 year old Eric Bana, but you have sex with the 25 year old Eric Bana, is that cheating?" Is that an okay thing to do in a movie? It is your husband, but it is not the Eric Bana you actually married. I think that question needed to be more deeply probed in this movie. Now, in a movie with the unbelievably hot Rachel McAdams, I should not be wandering off into time traveling fetus movies or adultery questions. That is just how bored I was. McAdams' dimples and the way she bites her lower lip when she is horny can only hold my attention for so long, because, well, she is only horny in the movie one time and it leads to weak sex, so boo.

The Time Traveler's Wife had a trailer that I loved and a movie that I hated. It was boring, illogical and did not have the romantic heat it should have with those two stars. They were both fine in the movie, but everything about the movie was safe, which a movie about time travel can be a lot of things, but safe is not one of those things. Hopefully, there is a spin off titled The Time Traveler's wife's fetus also time travels in the works, so the experience wouldn't have been such a waste of nearly two hours.

Final Grade: C- (I cannot give a movie that gives me Rachel McAdams' bare ass a D)

District 9

In April, my boss took me to a conference and in this conference, all of the movie studios were presenting footage of their upcoming summer release to give theater owners an idea for marketing and just to show theater owners was the summer movie season would look like. When the conference was over, they showed us Star Trek. Naturally when it was all over, I wanted to tell everyone about Star Trek, but after the conversations about Star Trek, the next thing I wanted to tell everyone about was this little movie called District 9. We saw a trailer, a whole scene, and a little behind the scenes video. I was completely hooked. From that moment I started to anticipate this movie with great excitement. When they showed the entire movie at Comic-Con and the reviews were so good and after witnessing the brilliant marketing campaign, I was way too excited for my own good, which can always lead to problems.

20 years ago, an alien spaceship started hovering over Johannesburg, South Africa. After it lingered there for a few months, Humans worked their way into the ship to see what was going on and what they found were thousands of malnourished aliens. Humanitarian efforts went into effect, but humans and aliens could not get along, and soon the aliens were banished to these ghettos, or districts. Called "Prawns", these ugly bug like aliens do not seem to have world domination on their brains, but they have weapons that humans cannot use and as the aliens are unknown they are scary to the human race. The action picks up with Multi-National United (MNU), a private corporation, being tasked with moving all of the aliens, yet again, but this time even further away from the city because it makes the city look dirty and gross and people have lost patience with the aliens and how unclean they are. The documentary style camera is following the leader of the task force, Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley) as he gets ready to go out and get the aliens to sign a form to move. He is a clueless guy, who would never, in a real world situation be put in charge of such a dangerous task, but this is a movie after all. The aliens are not excited about moving, yet again, there is some blood shed and eventually, Van Der Merwe gets into an alien household and starts investigating a weird liquid until it shoots out all over him and his life changes forever.

The whole movie is shot in this weaving, unstable documentary style, with weird zooms, which is starting to be common and it can be a very striking style of film making when used properly. In District 9, it is used to varying degrees of success. The best thing about it, it how the aliens look with this style of shooting. We are used to alien movies being these massive spectacles shot in crystal clear ways that let us know we are, indeed, watching a fantasy. When you shoot them all low-tech and in sometimes grainy footage, It is a bit jarring because it makes the aliens more real. And as ugly as they are, it really makes you want them to not be real. However, the camera work gets a little annoying in the third act, when you kind of want the action to be more stationary so you can really get into the action. The opening 15 minutes of news footage and grainy homemade footage is a very nice, interesting way to deal with a whole mess of exposition, but it does not hide the fact, that the entire first 20 minutes is nothing but exposition and paying attention to the exposition is important if you want to fully connect this movie to its allegorical properties.

I have read reviews that have claimed District 9 is "The most important Sci-Fi movie of the decade" and countless reviews have called it "smart", but is it really that smart? I mean, the allegorical properties are a nice touch, but by being so overtly obvious, it is not really that interesting of a move. It is set in South Africa, so what could the movie possibly be about? I wonder? Then, the movie proves it really wants to be an action movie by giving in to the action wholeheartedly in the final third of the movie. I do not want to diminish the premise and some of the nice ideas that exist about how we, as humans, want to keep others down by keeping them in ghettos and that the ghettos of the world are driven by drugs, violence and disgusting prostitution, but when the final 45 minutes are spent just exploding people everywhere, can a movie really be that smart?

As for the action and for the exploding bodies, well, there the movie soars! With a 37 million dollar budget, everything should be a little off, but the movie is immaculate looking in terms of effects. When you compare the effects of this little movie to the 175 million dollar disaster of G.I. Joe, it makes you hate G.I. Joe just a bit more. Or when you compare the effects of this 30 something million dollar movie to the 30 something million dollar Twilight, it shows that when you have the right team, budgetary limitations do not have to lead to crappy effects. Not only do the aliens look incredible (well, incredibly disgusting), but the Robocop inspired suit, and Robocop inspired climax are all wonderful looking and the suit moves well and the gun blasts all look great and and watching people explode never gets old, because of how good it all looks.

District 9 is a great movie, but it was not what it was billed as. There are annoying things to get through, like an alien named Christopher Johnson, or that the evil alien becomes the hero by giving him a son. That is a little trite. Then there is the gross out factor. Yes, the aliens are gross looking, but the Fly like transformation is truly disgusting and definitely reeks of Peter Jackson's influence. Now, Peter Jackson's influence is not a bad thing. This first time feature director did lose the Halo movie, but District 9 looks great because of the almost Halo movie and because Peter Jackson believes in this young South African director and to have Jackson in your corner does not suck.

Perhaps my expectations clouded my ability to just enjoy District 9, but I still think it is a great movie and worth seeing. I wish it had been about 10 minutes shorter and wish it had been paced a bit more evenly, but there are two really great action sequences and the climatic action scene is totally kick ass. Getting through all of the exposition is a bit tedious, and I am not sure it was all necessary for such a contained story, that does not do a lot to involve the grander scale of alien life once the first 25 minutes end. If you get joy out of watching people explode, or seeing how good the effects of a 37 million dollar can be, I totally recommend District 9, because it does not disappoint in the action department.

Final Grade: B

Adam

Movies featuring characters with some sort of disability(even only a social disorder) can be way too overwrought 90% of the time. Even the big ones, the ones we all know and love, like Rain Man, are rarely very accurate. In fact, last week, I was watching some scripted television show and there was a man playing a character with some sort of mental disorder and it was impossible to tell which one he had because he was doing the cliche Hollywood performance of any disorder. That is how cliche the whole thing is. So, the thing that interested me the most about this movie was the romantic aspect. That is what got me to the theater.

Adam(Hugh Dancy) is an odd guy who just had his father die. He meets Beth(Rose Byrne)when she moves into his apartment building. They kind of hit it off, even though Beth find Adam to be strange. Adam always says exactly what he means and he takes everything at face value. He has tons of knowledge about space, but he works for a toy maker, creating voice activated toys. Beth comes from a rich family and has a father who might be going to trial for committing a crime. He may or may not be guilty of this crime. This draws her closer to Adam, but then, his weirdness starts to freak her out when he asks her if she was sexually turned on during their little date in the park, because he was. This forces him to admit to her that he has Asperger's Syndrome(A.S.). This syndrome affects his social skills because he does not comprehend sarcasm and he can not really read facial expressions. he cannot understand what someone may be thinking. It also gives his insane anxiety. A.S. is a mild form of Autism, which means he can focus incredibly well on one thing and give it crazy attention, but it means taking him in public can be a problem. When Adam is lied to, he goes crazy, or when he has to process too much information, he cannot control himself. When he loses his job and needs to start looking for a new one, the interview process frightens him and Beth drops her entire life to help him with this one problem. Beth is unsure if being in a relationship with someone who is so much work will ever be worth it for her, even though it is obvious she loves him deeply.

There is a really nice sequence in this movie that really sold me on it. As Adam is looking for a job and as Beth's Father is on trial, there is a really nice long sequence, that is sort of a montage that cuts between Beth and Adam practicing interview focusing techniques and Beth at her father's trial. It is a lengthy sequence and I like it because of that. it is a moment that takes its time and lets us in the lives of this couple individually and as a couple. It is a moment in this movie where everything actually comes together, whereas the rest of the movie seems to exist outside of itself. Scenes of Adam at work never feel like they fit and scenes with Beth and her family typically feel like they are from a different movie, but in this one moment everything fits. I enjoyed the song that goes over these scenes, the pacing is nice and for some reason, the two scenes seem to fit together in some weird puzzle.

Aside from that moment, Adam is made by the performances because everything else is kind of a wash. Rose Byrne is completely void of her native Aussie dialect and is totally cute as a button, but never a push over. She is so dedicated to this part that we never doubt that she loves this awkward guy who requires extra patience and an iron clad will to be with him. As Adam, Hugh Dancy is very charming in a way that is not at all charming. He never makes Adam super annoying, so it is not hard to believe why he would appeal to someone. Now, I cannot speak to how realistic a portrayal of A.S. this is because in my time working in special needs, the only cases of Autism I had were too severe to be A.S. I can say that Dancy gives a very honest performance that, while mannered, is never overshadowed by those typical Hollywood "retard" quirks. Byrne and Dancy have a nice chemistry between them, which is crucial since the movie hinges on our belief that these people can be together.

The ending is unconventionally conventional, if that makes any sense, like it is trying to hard to be different that it ends up predictable. The script is uneven, with the scenes involving anyone other than the two love birds, usually coming off less well. Peter Gallagher, as Beth's father, is fine, I guess, but I just felt like his character was mostly unnecessary. He doesn't add anything and I think he was put in to give us a more dramatic rising action/climax. The end goes a little longer than it should, since I knew what was coming, but I get the point of the story. These two people found a way to have such a profound affect on each other that their lives were changed. Or that we never know who will enrich our lives if we do not follow our hearts. It is a nice message, yes, but really?

Adam is a sweet enough movie and for a some what unconventional take on the Romantic Dramedy genre it fits. However, 500 Days of Summer is a much stronger unconventional Romantic summery movie and Adam is kind of in the shadow of that movie for me. The performances are lovely and you will come out of it probably feeling nice. You might have a slight smile on your face and give a comfortable warm sigh. It is like that first cup of hot chocolate every winter. It is nice, but ultimately forgettable.

Final Grade: C+

Julie and Julia

I grew up in a house where dinner was home cooked at least 5 nights a week. Family dinner was not an event as much as it was the norm. My mom made (still does, just not as much) many wonderful meals in my life and it seemed like she rarely used a recipe; she just knew what went in and how much. I always felt spoiled because I got to eat all of these wonderful meals on a nightly basis. Sunday dinner is still a family event, for the most part. I do not watch the food network, and I never have because I grew up watching my mom cook and that was all I ever needed. However, watching cooking is fun, it is just torture because it makes me even hungrier. That was my worry going in to the movie. I knew it would make me desire really good food. Of course, if it did not make me really hungry, then I would think the movie had not done it's job.

Julie Powell(Amy Adams) is a cubicle worker working a job in 2002 where people who had family die in 9/11 call and air out grievances about the process of cleaning up and money and relief. It is awful and Julie feels all of it. Her friends are all important and rich and Julie becomes the cover girl for a magazine issue that tracks a "lost generation" and Julie decides it is time for a change. She was going to be a writer, but it never worked out, and she decides to write a blog. Her blog will be about her cooking her way through Julia Child's first cookbook. Julie's mission leads her to become very narcissistic, whiny and very needy and her husband has to put up with it all. Now, because this story has been made into a movie, so it is not difficult to see how successful her blog was, but the journey is what matters. Julie is attempting to find meaning in a post 9/11 world and trying to find her purpose in life. By writing her blog she connects to people worldwide who share her love of cooking and her love of Julia Child.

Also, this movie is about Julia Child(Meryl Streep) and her life in France after her husband Paul(A wonderful Stanley Tucci). She is also looking for her purpose and for the meaning in her life and she finds it in french cooking. She goes through a cooking school, even though she is told she possesses no real skill for cooking and then, her part of the movie tracks her attempt to write a cookbook for french food, but she wants to write it in English. It is a book for American cooks without servants, or something to that affect. Paul is wonderfully supportive and the good food gets them through the red scare, various wonderful holidays.

The first thing I noticed about Julie and Julia was the way marriages are portrayed. I know it seems silly to notice that the movie involves 2 pretty functional relationships, but that seems uncommon these days. I loved Meryl and Stanley together and loved to see the older couple get all randy and funny and adorable together. I am not sure this movie gives an accurate portrayal of Julia Child, because I am sure the woman had a nasty streak in her, and the movie treats her as a saint, but that does not take away from how great the two of them are together. Streep is mesmerizing, and I am not one to be normally taken with her. The Julia Child parts of the movie are the funnier parts and the more exotic parts and Streep and Tucci are relishing that fact. They make a wonderful pairing and it is nice to see marriage in a movie shown as a constant source of love and support.

The Julie sections are a little less kind. I love me some Amy Adams, but Julie Powell, as written in this movie, is so whiny that no amount of that Amy Adams charm can fully make up for it. She does well with what she is given, but writer/director Nora Ephran is not as concerned with the Julie side, which is a mistake. The Julie section has be strong to make the Julia section ring more true. Can a cookbook change the world? It changed Julie Powell's world and who knows who that can inspire? But the Julie section is too annoying to really care that much. Chris Messina who plays Amy Adams' husband is also very supportive, but their marriage hits a bit of a bump and he also does the angry thing pretty well.

Julie and Julia did leave me wanting food and did leave me with my mouth watering, so that part was successful. The food all looks amazing and watching Julia and Julie prepare and cook it was fun. Streep's fearless, funny and spot on Julia Child is wondrous and that is never more evident than when we see her cooking. She is clearly enjoying herself and that helps us enjoy ourselves, as we watch. The Julie cooking sections are great too, because Julie is not always sure what she is doing and she is not as naturally fearless and Julia, but that makes it more connected to us, because I am not sure we would be as fearless when it comes to live lobsters either. There are great messages to be found within the movie about chasing your dreams even if someone says you shouldn't and to be fearless in your life and that the loving support from family can get you through anything, all of which are very evident, but not shoved in your face.

I am not sure what I was really expecting out this movie, but I think I got it. It was pretty funny and touching and at times, utterly charming. However, there was something missing, or something I was looking for and could not find. I cannot put my finger on it, but I left the movie unfulfilled in some way. I think maybe Nora Ephron's script just left something to be desired in the dialog department, or maybe there was more that could have been done about a New Yorker searching for meaning in a world that was just brutally changed for all of them in some way, although that might have been too much of a downer for such a light and fluffy movie. Meryl Streep is probably going to get another Oscar nomination for her wonderfully charming performance, but I think the movie just never raises itself to her level.

Final Grade: B-

My 5 favorite John Hughes movies

With the passing of the 1980s legend, I was asked by a friend what my favorite Hughes movies were and I have been thinking about it and it has been tough, because do I think of him as a writer or a director? Should I incorporate only movies where he did both? I think the only way to really do it is to take any movie he either wrote or directed. So, with that in mind, I present my 5 favorite movies from the man who created stereotypical teenagers and then made them individuals who broke their stereotypes and then turned around and wrote movies for the whole family to enjoy.

5. Home Alone- To this day, I can pop this movie in and crack up. I love the story, the acting, and the crazy cartoon action. It is a wonderful Christmas movie for the whole family. Hughes wrote a fun script full of great lines for a little kid and he wrote two great goofball criminals played to perfection by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't like this movie. I think if I did meet someone who did not like it, I would question if they were human. It is just a fun Christmas movie where a kid defends his house against two criminals by setting awesome traps that any kids would have loved to set. Oh and let's not forget Angels with filthy Souls, the movie within the movie, being used perfectly. "Keep the change ya filthy animal." Indeed. A collection of the traps used in the clip.



4. Trains, Planes and Automobiles- Tommy Boy is one of my favorite all time movies and I truly believe it would not exist without this movie. I think this movie stands as the best road trip movie, ever. I know people love the "Vacation" movies, but this is just too classic. Steve Martin and John Candy play off each other like they have been best friends forever. The dialogue pops off the screen and the use of swear words is impeccable, especially in one of the car rental scenes. Man, classic. Picking a favorite scene is nearly impossible, but there is something about the sight of Steve Martin being spooned by John Candy is something that has to be seen to be fully understood. So, here it is.



3.Ferris Bueller's Day Off- I just recently met someone who does not like this movie. She is the only one I have ever heard say that. It was my belief that everyone likes this movie and she shattered that, and I was shocked. How can anyone not love this high school fantasy? How can someone not like a movie with such a good message about not worrying about life all of the time and to just enjoy the surroundings. Matthew Broderick is so insanely likable and his relationship with his best friend (A wonderful Alan Ruck) and his beautiful girlfriend(One of my first crushes Mia Sara) is perfect. The movie is known for some great lines, but the lip-sync has always been my favorite sequence because I love that these kids would skip school to do such family friendly things.



2. The Breakfast Club- This could easily be my number pick on any given day. It is the ultimate high school movie. It is hilarious, nasty, depressing and totally awesome. It has kick ass characters, a perfect soundtrack and some of the most killer one-liners. It is also a very serious movie with a wonderful message and a wonderful moral, and while the closing monologue is somewhat heavy handed, the movie is so honest in so many places, a little heavy handedness is not such a big thing. All of the actors do wonderful work, with Anthony Michael Hall really excelling, I think. I think everyone can relate in some way to at least one character and John Hughes wrote a pretty perfect movie and his straight forward directing style really suits this kind of movie. I chose a clip full of Judd Nelson one-liners, only because the dancing clip is too similar to the Ferris Bueller clip I picked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eifZlYwmDj4

1.Pretty in Pink- If one character can make a movie, it is Duckie. The story of a dorky girl falling in love with a popular kid named Blaine may not be Earth shattering, but there is something about this movie. Molly Ringwald does great work and Andrew McCarthy is perfectly 1980s white boy as Blaine, but really, this movie is all about Duckie. Jon Cryer's pitch perfect embodiment of this weird outcast kid rings true to anyone who has loved their best friend only to never get to be more than friends. John Hughes made every guy-best-friend dreams come true when he let Duckie just tear into Molly's character, saying everything the best friend's in real life have always wanted to say. Duckie gets all the great one-liners and is just overall awesome. Maybe it is not the right reason to like this movie above all of the other ones, but I am okay with that. I chose yet another lip-sync moment, but it is just so perfect.




Normally my lists feature 10 movies, but to be honest, these are the only John Hughes movies I have seen enough times to put on any list. I would love to know what other people think is the best Hughes movies. I really think when he was on, he made such fantastic movies.

On vacation

I will be taking this week off, but when I come back some things to look forward to:

Some sort of John Hughes list (as requested by J. Scot)
Some sort of fall television list (as requested by Taylor)
Reviews of Julie and Julia, District 9 and probably 3 or 4 others
And some sort of essay about growing up with movies.

G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra

When I was growing up, all I wanted was a live action G.I JOE movie. My brothers and I created our own G.I. JOE movie because Hollywood was not getting on it quickly enough. We did not have cameras, or real explosions or anything like that, but we had a backyard, squirt guns, and our imagination. So, of course, they would wait until I was 29 years old to finally release a live action version of one of my favorite cartoons and my favorite action figures. Those toys were crazy durable (especially Shipwreck)and one of my boyhood dreams was finally coming true! Then, it happened; the trailer came out and it was AWFUL! Then a week ago, it was announced they would be showing the movie to critics, which is a kiss of death. So I went into the movie with no expectations. I had wiped away the thoughts of my childhood and prepared for the worst.

After a prologue taking place in France in 1642 (yes, you read that right), we are introduced to McCullen(Christopher Eccleston) who manufactures weapons backed by N.A.T.O. and he has created a weapon using nanobites that eat metal and die with a kill switch, so you only hit your target. A Military unit is tasked with transporting the weapons. The Unit, led by Duke(Channing Tatum) and Ripcord(Marlon Wayans) is attacked by a sexy woman, The Baroness(Sienna Miller), who is trying to get her hands on the weapons. The attack fails because a special unit saves Duke and Ripcord. This unit is G.I. Joe. The are an elite team of soldiers from around the world (no longer Real American Heroes) and they are led by Hawk(A pretty drunk sounding Denis Quaid). The team includes a martial arts expert, Snake Eyes(Ray Park), a tech guy, Breaker(Said Taghmaoui), a hardcore artillery guy, Heavy Duty(Ecko from Lost) and a super sexy, cleavage showing, crossbow ace, Scarlett(Rachel Nichols. Duke and Ripcord want on the team and soon they realize what is going on. They lose the weapons and are on hunt for The Baroness and her martial arts buddy, Storm Shadow(Byung-hun Lee) and their army of super soldiers, who were built by a mysterious deformed doctor.

Focusing heavily on the action scenes and not at all on any sort of dialog, G.I Joe is the the epitome of big dumb fun. The CGI is awfully cartoonish in places and the dialog and performances mirror that. About a quarter in, I just kind of accepted that as the reality and ended up having a pretty good time. The first action sequence, which features two jets and 4 Hummers being destroyed, sets the tone for insane action that is totally implausible, but totally fun. The guns that the bad guys wield emit these blue like photon Lazer bursts that make for some cool effects and funny sounds. Then there is the massive action scene in the middle with Duke and Ripcord in these totally ridiculous accelerator suits running through the streets of Paris chasing the Baroness and her Hummer full of rockets, missiles and bullets. All the while, Snake Eyes is on top of the Hummer getting cars thrown at him. Then in the climatic battle, an all out Star Wars inspired war (UNDER WATER!), there is a kick ass martial arts fight, a chase, a full on attack of good and bad, and Ripcord flying a jet trying to shoot bombs out of the sky! There is barely a chance to breathe between explosions, gun battles and ninja stars being thrown into bodies. The body count is very high for a PG-13 movie.

It does not do much good to talk about performances except to say that Sienna Miller looks like she is totally having fun vamping it up. I mean, Channing Tatum is made to be a soldier, but he lacks the intensity to go with his broad shoulder and mean glare. Marlon Wayans does his usual comic relief, which did not inspire any serious laughs, but it brought levity and made me not take the whole thing so seriously. I mean how serious could a war movie be if it has the dude from White Chicks in it. Denis Quaid is not straining himself at all, but Ray Park's mysterious Snake Eyes and Byung-hun Lee's Storm Shadow are pretty awesome. Both men are perfectly cast, and beyond the amazing martial arts spectacle they show, they give genuinely interesting performances. The young kid(Brandon Soo Hoo) who plays Storm shadow in the various flashbacks is a straight up beast! He is like 12 years old, but he is a brutal little fighter. I expect to be hearing his name a lot to come.

The flashback aspect of the story and connecting some of these characters in different ways, like Baroness and Duke used to be engaged, and Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow grew up fighting each other, can be a bit distracting and help make the movie awfully predictable, especially the whole Destro thing, which I guess is not the twist any way. if you read the cast before going in though, you have the movie spoiled for you any way. Speaking of cast, one name I have not yet mentioned is Arnold Vosloo(The Mummy!) as Zartan. He is such an interesting character and does not do much, but The Mummy is so good as him, that I was hoping for more. If a sequel gets made and the final 15 minutes hinge on the idea of a sequel, maybe he will play a bigger role and maybe, just maybe G.I Joe 2 will be a war movie.

This G.I Joe is not really a war movie. It is a Sci-Fi action movie with futuristic weapons, costumes and scenery. It features technology not in existence and the kind of fatigues worn are not in this moment, Government Issue, although if all female soldiers had Rachel Nichols' body, I wish they were, holy hell! The lairs for both the good guys and the bad guys are under water and the battlefields are never war battlefields except in one key flashback. The battlefields are these high tech bases, or busy streets. This is not the infantry G.I Joe I am used to and it takes a little while to see the characters in name and body to be the ones I grew up with, but not in the way I am used to seeing them.

Stephen Sommers, the director, has created The Mummy, which was a fun CGI movie and Van Helsing, which was an awful CGI movie. G.I Joe falls in between those movies. Sommers has no real vision, as I was not impressed with any of the shots, or tricks or anything, although he had two nice slow motion then sped up motion sequences and his mastery of CGI is dodgy at best, but he knows how to entertain. Something about G.I Joe just worked for me. I was never bored, even if I laughed at how corny it was sometimes. The 16th century prologue turned out to be a total waste of time, except that Sommers is obsessed with older centuries and he is a little too fascinated with the flashbacks, but those flashbacks give us that little storm shadow kid, so all is forgiven.

I was not given the G.I Joe of my childhood, nor was I given the G.I Joe I ever envisioned. I am not sure why this movie was made and called G.I Joe, but it is and that is the G.I Joe movie I got. I was the only one in the entire auditorium who laughed when Hawk said "Knowing is half the battle" and the "Yo Joe" was so perfectly placed and so perfectly cheesy, that I knew the movie wanted to be the G.I Joe of my youth, it just did not know how to be. I waited until the end of the credits in hopes they put on one of those P.S.A's at the end, but no luck, so they missed that opportunity, but perhaps they thought it would be too silly. As far as summer movies go, it is better than Transformers 2 and even more fun than Wolverine. That is not really saying much, but I was anticipating those much more and this is the one I liked the most. I am sure my severely low expectations helped my enjoyment of the movie, but in a big budget movie with bad CGI, I am usually playing with my watch like crazy and in this movie, I only checked my watch one time.

Final Grade: C

P.S. A big shout out to J. Scott for pointing out how to get into movies for cheaper! My mind was blown!

Funny People

I have always believed there were not enough movies about stand up comedy. Stand up comedy is a fascinating world full of characters who are self loathing and nasty. It is a world where it seems like no one is ever really happy and if you run across a happy stand up comic, other comics tend to hate that person. Comics appear, to me, to make great subjects for a movie, but they do present challenges because in my mind, the movie about a stand up comic has to be equal parts funny and nasty and who wants to watch a movie that is just as nasty or mean spirited as it is funny. Enter, Judd Apatow's Funny People.

George Simmons(Adam Sandler) is a world famous actor, who got his start in the world of stand up comedy. After a visit to the doctor's office, where he found out he is probably going to die from a kind of leukemia, George hits the stage again. Only this time, it is some dark twisted comedy that does not really elicit the kind of laughs Simmons usually gets. Simmons is all alone. He has no friends, no family and no one on whom to lean now that things get nasty, until he meets Ira Wright(Seth Rogen), a struggling comedian who went on after Simmons and made fun of Simmons. Quickly, Simmons asks Ira and his friend, Leo(Jonah Hill) to write jokes for him. Ira takes the job and in no time, Ira is getting a serious glimpse into the good life and getting a first row seat to how George Simmons deals with dying. Then something miraculous happens and Simmons gets better. With a second chance at life, Simmons is convinced the key to his happiness is getting back the love of his life, who is now married with kids and living in San Francisco. Laura(Leslie Mann) was the one who got away and George believes he can get her back because she is married to a jerk, Clarke(Eric Bana), who spends more time away than at home. But, has George really changed? Can George be a different person from the guy he was before he nearly died?

Judd Apatow has created kind of a conundrum of a movie because he calls it Funny People and it stars a lot of very funny people, and it is funny, but it does not have any terribly likable characters. Apatow's previous movies featured a sad sack, but likable lead and in this, Sandler's George Simmons is a mean spirited, self loathing asshole. He lashes out at Ira when Ira is just trying to help and Simmons' only concern is Simmons. Then Ira, played with perfect energy from Rogen, is not totally likable either. He is an opportunist who is not exactly happy that his friends/roommates, Leo and Mark(Jason Schwartzman) are more successful than he is, but then again, the friends are jerks too. Everyone is selfish; everyone is mean and no one is really happy with who they are. This makes for a tough movie. Apatow is asking us to watch a movie that is over 2 hours long, and to care about these people, without making any of them really likable, and I love it for that reason!

The movie is funny, supremely funny in moments, but yes, it lacks the usual Judd Apatow quotes. It lacks entire scenes of people just sitting around talking. Like his other two movies there is not an abundance of plot or story, but unlike the other two movies, Funny People's dialog is almost all about the story or about what is going on. Sandler is a pretty toned down version of himself and he is not always up to the emotional task of Simmons, but to watch him play a version of the character we all think he is in real life, was an interesting study. He looks at ease on the stage and he has been written some very dark material that appeared to make people in the theater a bit uncomfortable, but what other choice did he have? His character has no real friends. When he finds out he is not sick, he does not have anyone to really share the joy. It is a sad moment and maybe the only I felt for George.

Seth Rogen still looks weird as a slimmed down dude, and it looks like Jonah Hill added all the wight Rogen took off, but their interplay is still hilarious and adding a smug, self satisfied Schwartzman to the mix only helps matters. Then you throw in a cute female comedian for Schwartzman and Rogen to chase, it gets pretty funny. The RZA has two scenes as a co-worker of Rogen's and he is very funny, if a little stereotypical. The comedians who show up as themselves are not there as jokes, but as Judd's nod to the world and he has given that nod to comedians not all that well known as stand up comics, which is nice. There are a few other cameos including a hilarious exchange between Eminem and Ray Romano, but Eric Bana really takes the cake in this one. His Clarke is energetic and a bit of a jerk, but he is a man who is trying to calm down with rhe help of Eastern philosophy. He wants to punch you, then hug you. yes, the scene up in San Fransisco does get a bit indulgent and Leslie Mann is not nearly as funny here as she has been in the past, but Bana does such a bang up job, I kind of forgave that aspect.

Funny People is an uneven movie in terms of pacing and tone, but it is still a very interesting movie. Judd is a lot more visual this time around and there are some cool lighting effects and he is branching out a bit on his style, and I like that. I respect that Apatow wants to mine the serious side of life, using a world that mines depressing things for laughs all of the time. Laughter and pain go together and that is nowhere more evident than in a stand up comic. Judd understands that a movie all about cancer would be too depressing(Hello, My Sister's Keeper), but Judd is interested in the idea of death and life and this is his way of talking about it. Cancer and penis jokes may not exactly be peanut butter and jelly, but Apatow makes them work. The stand up comedy in the movie is no the funniest stand up I have ever heard in my life, but it is funny and there is a character that is obviously a parody of Dane Cook that will make stand up comedy fans pretty happy.

I am not sure this has the replay value of his two previous movies, but I think Apatow has created a nice bridge between what he has done and what he obviously wants to do. Sandler and Rogen make a really good comic team, with Rogen probably not acting when he looks in awe of Sandler. The supporting characters do their part, especially the tall Swedish doctor (perfectly cast, kudos) and I was not disappointed when the movie is over. Perhaps people will go in to the movie thinking it will be nothing but comedy and if that is the case, they might not enjoy how it turns out, but I got pretty much what I expected and what I wanted. I laughed my ass off in moments and I enjoyed being challenged to care about a guy who was not likable.

Final Grade: A-

(500) Days of Summer

I am always on the look out for movies with an interesting take on love. Granted, they do not end up coming along very often, but I am always looking for weird indie movies about the topic of love. I love the hipster music and dialog of Juno and the quirky characters and tone of a movie like Away We go. I am always interested in movies about love that are the antidotes to Romantic Comedies in the mainstream that hinge on bets, or blackmail or some other nonsense. (500) Days of Summer looked like it was exactly that kind of movie. It was the anti Proposal. As I entered a very full theater Friday night, I started to get worried I had pinned too much on the movie. As the theater filled up with beautiful girls in summer dresses, I started to wonder if this movie would end up being just another romantic comedy.

Tom Hansen(Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Summer Finn(Zooey Deschanel) are very much wrong for each other. Tom believes he will never be happy until he finds his one true love; Summer does not believe in love or relationships. However, they are drawn to each other. Tom is instantly smitten, which worries his two friends and his far-too-wise-for-her-age sister. He takes breaks up hard and Summer is destined to break his heart. The movie tracks the 500 days of their relationship and break up. Right off the bat, our droll, absent narrator tells us "This is not a love story, it is a story about love." However, the movie's odd sense of self begins far earlier than that, when we get an author's note that states "The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch." From there we know this is not going to be your average love story. Using a broken time line, title cards to tell us where we are in the relationships, a dance sequence, a wonderful split screen device and a script that pops with great lines like "People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated", 500 Days of Summer tracks the unusual relationship between two people who were never meant to be. Summer never wants to put a label on what they are and Tom is dying inside to just be in love with her and have her be in love with him.

When you fall in love with someone, you tend to love them for their flaws and that is how i feel about (500) Days of Summer. I fell in love with it so early on, that the tiny flaws never bothered me. I fell in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt's pitch perfect performance as a guy so love struck, it takes his little sister to get him to re-see the small moments in the relationships and see the cracks. In a wonderful moment, Tom goes back to all these small moments we saw earlier without a frame of reference and we see them again as the cracks in the foundation of a relationship that was never meant to be. The movie captures the big moments and the small moments with the same care and love. We get the introductions, the amazing break up scene over pancakes, the morning after the first love making (Set to Hall and Oates, no less!), the fights (big and small) and the wonderfully small moments of walking and talking. It plays the way relationships really play in our heads. We see and feel things that are jumbled in our brains. We only see the good until someone tells us to see it how it really happened.

The movie perfectly captures how when we are in love everything seems brighter and when our heart is broken, nothing seems capable of making us smile. It uses music and movies (The Graduate) to help our emotions and the characters emotions. Then it uses all kinds of clever devices that might take some people out of the movie, but that made the movie more real to me. In a scene where Tom goes to a party hosted by Summer, post break up, the movie goes into a split screen where one side is what actually happens and the other side shows Tom's expectations. The results are funny and then heart breaking. Because of the time jumping device, the movie is always whipping from the funny, to the sweet to the absolutely depressing and I think that is really working in favor of the movie. It could be viewed in the proper day order, but it would get very depressing and this time jumping allows the movie to mix the joy and the pain and it allows for really short scenes to come back with a lot more meaning in twenty minutes after it is shown, like the short scene in the record store.

Zooey Deschenal is what makes this movie tick. It is easy to see why a guy would fall in love with her, but Zooey also keeps Summer from being totally likable to us. She is cute and funny, but she has a kind of selfish and cruel streak. The decision was obviously made to keep her always in blue to make those gorgeous blue eyes pop even more, which was totally unnecessary, and would bother me in if I was not so smitten by the movie. I think the writers and the director do such a great job of capturing real love while still making it is too cool and too hip to actually be real. The architectural theme of Tom's life really add to the very earthy feel of the story, but the movie is not afraid of whimsy, which is good because when in love, whimsy feels real to us. It all hinges on what we think of Summer though, and Zooey is so lovely that we never really question why Tom has fallen for a girl who does not believe in the same things in which he believe.

(500) Days of Summer is a breezy, whimsical, bitter and sweet love story that does not give in to typical Hollywood conventions. It will leave you with mixed feelings, but it never once betrays a belief in true love and that love can make someone infinitely happy and infinitely unhappy. The performances might be a bit one-sided, but they work in a movie like this and the dialog is so strong and so in tune with life, love and heart break, that it is clear the makers of this have experienced serious heart break and serious love. At only a little over 90 minutes, "Summer" never gets stale and does not have any scenes are are weak or unimportant. The minute you think you have just watched a throw-away scene, the movie makes that scene relevant later. When the movie ended and all the beautiful girls in summer dresses got up and I saw them in a well lit area, I was reminded just how easy it is to think you have fallen in love and how easy it is to convince yourself you love the wrong person, but that remaining convinced that love is possible is essential. I have no doubt that (500) Days of Summer will be the kind of movie I revisit anytime I need that reminder.

Final Grade: A+ (really an A, but I fell in love with it so flaws do not matter)