The Collector

A month ago I had never heard of this movie; that is saying something. I have at least some knowledge of all kinds of movies and this had completely avoided my radar. To be honest, I would never have seen it if my work was not playing it and I got to watch it for free. Typically if I have not heard of a movie a month before its release, there is no way it could be a very good movie and I rarely waste my time with bad horror movies these days.

Arkin is a man desperate for cash and his job just is not cutting it. In order to save his wife/girlfriend/baby momma from a loan shark, he needs a lot of cash quickly. To do so, he ominously visits a black man in a limo. They had a plan to rob a house, but Arkin needs the timetable pushed up to that night. Arkin just finished doing work at this particular house and with the family away on vacation, it is ripe for thievery. Arkin, see, is a safe cracker and this house has a diamond, or ruby, or stone of some sort. Arkin breaks into the house, but quickly finds out he is not alone!! Someone has gotten to the house before him and this other person has kidnapped the family and it torturing them, and this other person has boobie trapped the entire house!! Arkin must then turn into the good guy and try to save the family and get out alive against a masked man who collects people, or kills them, depending on his preference.

If you ever thought to yourself "Home Alone was great, but it would have been better with less laughs and a lot more blood" The Collector is for you.

If you want to watch a guy fall back into a room of bear traps in slow motion, The Collector is for you.

This is the kind of movie where acid eats through shoes, socks and kittens, but not wooden floors.

The kind of movie where no one turns on any lights, even when it would help you when you realize you are not alone in the house.

The Collector is the kind of movie where a guy keeps a gun in his safe, but keeps bullets in his bedroom drawer, nowhere near the safe.

In order to get the attention of the cops, the "hero" jumps in front of one and gets hit. If you like that kind of nonsense, go for it!

If you want to watch boobs wiggle in slow motion for a minute (and who doesn't) this movie does give you that.

If, when a movie is over, you enjoy leaving with questions about logic, or lapses in logic, The Collector is your kind of movie.

If you want to be made sick by the opening credits sequence because of how loud, colorful and obnoxious they are, this is definitely for you.

It is a better movie than the last two Saw movies and there were a few things I enjoyed (The use of Korn's "Dead Bodies Everywhere", the bear trap scene, and the breasts), but it is yet another useless piece of garbage torture porn movie. Big freaking whoop!