I love you, Beth Cooper

I am not sure what prompted me to read the book on which this film is based. It is written by Larry Doyle who writes for The Simpsons, but I have never enjoyed that program, so I am not sure why I picked the book up. However, when I finished the book, I was glad I did. Very rarely do I enjoy funny fiction. I mean there are funny novels out there, but I would not classify Animal Farm as funny fiction. The first thing I did when I finished the book was see if it was being made into a movie. It read like a teen ROM-COM, so I was sure it was being made and, lo and behold, it was. I thought casting Hayden Panettiere as the girl was perfect, if a little too perfect, but when I saw the PG-13 rating, I was a bit nervous. I am not against PG-13 movies, but teen movies feature teen characters and save for those singing wildcats, teenagers tend to live life at an R rating.

Denis Cooverman(Paul Rust), with a nose that takes up half the screen, is a nerd. He can quote useless(useful) facts and stats as a moment's notice. He has a lightsaber and he has never spoken to Beth Cooper(Panettiere), but has been in love with her (from behind) forever. he has sat behind her in every class it seems. Never mind that it makers no sense because he was probably in all honor classes, as she was most certainly not. Cooverman, under the influence of his quasi-homosexual best friend, Rich(Jack Carpenter), decides his Valedictorian speech at graduation, is the best place to confess his love. He does it, then he goes on to insult some anorexic girls, a bully, the stuck up snob, and Beth's already graduated boyfriend. After the speech, Denis finally speaks to Beth and invites her to his graduation party. She surprisingly shows up with her two friends, Treece and Cammy(Lauren Storm and Lauren London), and hijinks ensue. Unfortunately for Denis, Beth's Terminatoresque boyfriend shows up to kill him. This sets off a night no one will ever forget. Denis, Rich, Beth, Treece and Cammie spend the movie running from the boyfriend, talking about everything, breaking laws and maybe, possibly hooking up. All the while, Denis seeing the real Beth Cooper and realizing he really never knew her.

As Beth Cooper, Panattiere is sexy beyond belief. Her wardrobe does exactly what you hope it will and Panattiere sluts up properly. She is a wild girl who cannot drive properly, she makes out with gas station clerks for beer and she breaks laws left and right. However, there is a sadness to Beth Cooper, a girl who believes she has peaked in high school and Panattiere really is effective in it all. She gets us to like her without being overly likable and she is pretty funny. Did I mention how sexy she is? As the two friends, the two Laurens are up to the task of being hot and playing the background. Lauren Storm gets more laughs because she is the dumb, super slutty. Paul Rust looks more like a high nerd than anyone I know and he is really good at the physical humor. He has an older look, but he does not need dorky glasses to be the nerd. He is like Jason Biggs in that way. He is funny and gains our sympathies for everything that he goes through in the night. the best friend, Rich, is probably the most fun to play. He quotes movies and then gives movie title and director through the whole movie and he is trying so hard to convince everyone he is not gay, all while saying some very gay things. They do not overdo the "gayisms" but it turns out pretty damn funny.

Chris Columbus, director of 2 Harry Potter movies and 2 Home Alone movies seems to be beyond this genre, so maybe he is slumming it here, but he does do a pretty good job of pacing the film. These kinds of teenage fantasy movies are often derailed by clunky pacing, but no scene really drags. The set pieces are quickly dispatched for new scenes where new craziness happens. There is the school, two house parties, the road, the car, the cabin in the woods, and the random campground. Columbus gets all his money shots and he has spaced out the appropriate amount of physical battles with the right amount of scenes with just dialogue, where Denis and Beth start to get to know each other. My favorite sequences are actually the really random flashbacks, especially the towel whipping one, which leads to the best fight sequence in the movie.

I Love you, Beth Cooper is not going to change the genre of the teen ROM-COM but it is a bit different in as much as it is clean. There is not a lot of foul language, there are not really any fart jokes or dick jokes or anything like that. Maybe it is a bit tame by those standards, but there is a threesome, well the we see the very beginning and very end of one, and there is a side nude shot of Hayden, so it is not all apple juice and jello. I doubt any of the stars are going to break out because of this movie and it will be forgotten in a few months unless screen caps come out of Hayden's side boob debut, then it will linger for a bit longer. I laughed more than I thought I would and was entertained for the 95 minutes or so of the movie and sometimes that is enough.

Final Grade: C+