Mamma Mia!

I have always felt it was nice to go into a movie with extremely low expectations. It really means you have nothing to lose. My expectations for this musical were about as low possible for still semi-wanting to see a movie. With bizarre casting choices, insufferable music and a stage play that tries to cram roughly 30 songs into 140 minutes, I did not have high hopes for Mamma Mia! I readily admit that I am not the target audience and judging from the large crowd this afternoon, I am the wrong gender and the wrong generation. Again, the low expectations were a blessing, right?

The story of young Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) searching for her dad before she gets married, sounds simple enough. Well, until you realize her mother, Donna (Meryl Streep), sexed up 3 guys within a month and Sophie has three potential fathers. I know it sounds like the stuff out of a Maury Povich episode, but when that story is set to ABBA music, joy and merriment ensue! The three possible sperm donors have been invited to the wedding by Sophie without Donna Knowing. The three men, Bill (Stellan Skarsgard) Sam (Pierce Brosnan) and Harry (Colin Firth) meet on a boat on the way to the island having no idea what is in store. Donna sees them, panics and spends the rest of the movie near tears. Sophie gets a lot of time with each man, but concludes that she cannot figure who the father is. She can draw like Sam, is musical like Harry but her mom got all of her money from Bill's aunt, so who could it be? If you want to know the answer to that question, too bad, because this movie is not going to answer the question Sophie asks for nearly 2 hrs. There is a side plot involving Donna's old band mates played by Julie Walters and Christine Baranski where the two women try and get Donna out of her rut. It is all done with forced creepy smiles, fake joy, obnoxious music and a gorgeous Greek island.

To call the first hour of this movie unbearable would be a slight to things that are unbearable. Meryl streep, at sixty years old, is twenty years too old for the role. I do not care if you put her in a bad blonde wig and cover up her years with make up, she is a sixty year old woman with a twenty two year old daughter. Christine Baranski at fifty seven years old is too old to be the band member who is supposed to be hot enough to be the desire of a twenty-something bartender. When she sings "Does your mother know that you're out" it is just flat out creepy. GILFs exist sure, but to make merriment out of it is just uncomfortable for everyone involved. Streep is about the most talented actress alive, but comedy, well comedy is not her calling. Watching her mug hardcore for laughs was embarrassing. Someone should take a few of her Oscars away just for the first 45 minutes of Mamma Mia! Meryl Streep shouldn't be on screen jumping around like a little girl at camp. I am okay with actors slumming it to have fun, but this, well this isn't even fun. It is cringe inducingly awful. I was moments away from walking out of it just out of respect for the actor Meryl Streep really is. Luckily Meryl gets to actually show off her acting chops in the second half and almost makes you forget about "Super Trouper."

There is one scene/song that actually gets the joy right. It is the one moment of pure actual fun. It is a moment that incited no less than 6 little girls to get up in the theater and dance. It is a moment that had all of the women in the audience singing and rocking; that is, of course, "Dancing Queen." A really bad disco song, sure, but in this movie it is so much more. It starts with Donna's two friends trying to break her out of her funk, but as it goes on it becomes so much more. Donna gets into it and soon the three women are singing and dancing through the island and along the way they seem to pick up every single woman on the island. Working women, elderly women, little girls and every other kind, drop whatever they are doing to celebrate being a woman. It is not only the most fun in the movie, but it actually changes my entire idea of what that song is. Who knew "Dancing Queen" could have so much woman power behind it! It almost saves the first half.

The second half of the movie, the next day, is a much different movie. Streep rips her way through "The Winner takes it all", but that great moment is blown at the end by awful blocking. Streep and Seyfried force tears out of all of the women in the audience with the touching "Slipping through my fingers" and Pierce Brosnan gets to show off his ummm vocal skills(for lack of a better word) on "S.O.S." Brosnan is an interesting topic for this movie. The man doesn't sing so well, he is too old (but a match for Streep) yet, I totally dug it. He is always in tune, but his voice is weak, but man he commits. I mean he commits to all of it. Brosnan only seems to get better looking with age and he fits perfectly with the exotic locale, and the passion in his eyes for Donna is just magical. I know he is getting much criticism in this movie, but for my money he deserves the most praise.

Then there is Amanda Seyfried. Oh Amanda, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. With big curious blue eyes, a sun kissed Greek tan, a body to fill out any bathing suit and more than capable vocal chops, Seyfried's Sophie is the brightest star of this travesty. If the movie had been better I would pick this for her break out role. Seyfried handles the entire role of Sophie quite well and really holds up with Streep, even in the more dramatic moments. She is charming, utterly likable, sexy but innocent, sweet but not naive. It is not hard to imagine why her fiance, played by six-pack having Dominic Cooper, would give up his life dream of traveling the world to settle down with such a voluptuous beauty.

I believe most people will probably be tricked into believing they are having a good time, because the cast is obviously trying so hard to have a good time. I am fairly certain the director looked at the entire cast and said "For the first hour of this movie, I just want you to smile as big as you possibly can and also jump around a lot; feel the music. Don't worry about steps, just feel the music. Feel alive, but keep smiling, squealing and jumping." I am sure most of the public will join them, but I know better. Nothing is more disgusting than fake joy. Hairspray did it right, Mamma Mia! gets it wrong, oh so very wrong. By the time the finale of "Take a chance on Me" comes around, I was all ABBAed out and ready to go back to the real world.

Final Grade: D