The ten most surprising movies I have seen

I thought a companion piece to my last top 10 list was in order and I have to say that when I say surprising, I mean movies that turned out to be a lot better than I would have thought. These could be movies with trailers that did not do a lot for me, or movies I had never even heard of or even movies someone told me to watch even if I wasn't excited about watching them. So here they are:


10. Lucky Number Slevin- I thought the trailer made this movie look alright and it had Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman in it, so it couldn't have been all bad. However, after sitting through the first about 5 minutes of this thing, I knew I was in for something different. Josh Hartnett finally figured out how to act and the lines in this thing are hilarious. Yes, it borrows from Pulp Fiction and the twist can be figured out in the first 20 minutes, but it does not take away the enjoyability factor of it. It movies very quickly with a Strong sense of wit and direction and when it was over, I just walked out smiling because of how much I enjoyed myself. It is not a well known or oft seen movie so this is my plea for you to go rent it.


9. The 40-y old Virgin- This is a very rare comedy that did not do much for me in the trailer, but turned out to be crazy hilarious. I had a free ticket and 2 hours to kill and with nothing else worth seeing at the theater I decided to take this movie in. I knew Judd Apatow from Undeclared and that he was one of the "minds" behind the god awful Anchorman garbage and I was not sold on Steve Carell, so I was expecting nothing. What I got was a highly quotable, hilarious yet touching romantic comedy. The one-liners are fast and furious, Paul Rudd showed why he is necessary in comedies and the rest of the supporting cast turned this thing into movie with infinite replay value. It birthed a few careers and helped give way to the new R-rated comedy resurgence.


8. Scream- The slasher flick was dead and Wes Craven was hanging on for dear life when he directed this movie. It starred some t.v stars and was written by a no name (Kevin Williamson). The biggest buzz about the movie was that Drew Barrymore appeared in it and that is never a good sign. I was working at the theater when this was set to be released so we got to watch a midnight showing of it and wow was it an absolute blast. Instead of falling into every horror movie cliche, it made jokes and references to them and it was a smart, funny and still very scary movie. The costume for the killers was beyond creepy and Craven proved why is the master of the slasher flick by making everyone look guilty and the opening sequence is still an iconic slasher flick scene. I still get laughs and scares out of this today.


7. Mean Girls- Forget what you know about Lindsay Lohan now because at one point she was poised to rule the box office and this movie is the reason for it. This movie broke her out of the Disney image and proved she could carry a smart movie. Of course the real credit goes to Tina Fey for a brilliantly hilarious script. I didn't even want to see this movie much but I was incredibly glad I did. I laughed loud and often as almost all of the side gags worked and the basic story was a lot of fun to watch. It had been a long time since a movie set in high school had come across so smart and managed to play into cliches without making them seem so cliche. It is a lot silly, but it is done in a way that made it work for me and Tim Meadows cameo always makes me giggle.


6. Hairspray- I have to say that I Am not a fan of the first movie and when I heard that John Travolta was going to be playing Edna Turnblad I was writing this movie off because it just could not work and I thought they should have let Harvey do it like he did on Broadway. Then the awful teaser trailer came out, then the actual trailers came out and I got to see that I was right about Travolta, he looked awful and I was sure he would ruin this movie. The director had only directed a bunch of crap- Bringing down the house, The Pacifier and Cheaper by the dozen 2 and with young unproven leads I did not expect anything. I certainly did not expect the absolute joy I got while watching this movie. What a fun, energetic, touching movie and wow was I wrong about Travolta. In fact everyone in this thing was picture perfect!


5. Good night and Good luck- A small budget black and white film about how one man took on the Senator McCarthy's red scare bullying that was directed by big time movie star George Clooney had no business being one of the best movies I saw that year. I thought it might be a fairly good film but instead it was a deep thinking, well acted, beautifully directed movie. Clooney, whose first directing job wasn't stellar, turns out to be a very wonderful director here, preferring the less-is-more approach here. All of the acting is fantastic and it is a movie I have highly recommended to people who love movies or love American history. I'll never forget the goosebumps I had when it was over because of how beautiful it truly was. It is a very straight forward old style movie, but it feels new and refreshing all at the same time.


4. Moulin Rouge- It is nearly impossible to explain this movie to someone who has not seen it, but it is a musical set in early 1900's Paris but most of the music is modern and the style is a futuristic orgy of colors and sounds. It is the most tragic love story I have ever seen but going in I wasn't even sure I'd like it. I had enjoyed Baz's first two movies (Romeo and Juliet and Strictly Ballroom), but I was not a huge Nicole Kidman fan and I was not at all sure what to expect. From the opening moments it is clear this not your usual musical, but it worked for me. It is funny, gorgeous, wildly weird and infinitely entertaining as well as heart breakingly romantic and the only real original song "Come What May" is a stellar love song. The play within a movie idea is funny as it parallels the movie itself and Ewan McGregor has the pipes of an angel. I can understand somewhat if people do not like this movie, but it is the only movie billed as a romance that makes me genuinely tear up because of how beautiful it all is.


3. O Brother, Where Art Thou- I know, I know, How can a Coen brothers movie be surprisingly good when all of their films are fantastic? Well easy, I would have never expected them to create one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Based loosely on the epic poem "The Odyssey" and featuring a bunch of hill billy blues and country music this movie could have been an absolute failure but with the Coen's odd sense of humor and some tremendous performances this movie turns out to be unbelievably good. George Clooney and John Turturro are at their best here and with great Cameos from John Goodman, Holly Hunter and Michael Badalucco this movie succeeds in every way. It even got me to like some sort of country music. This movie is a family favorite and I know most of it by heart but that doesn't stop it from being funny still. My dad, my Brother and I actually went to the concert of all the people on the soundtrack, that is how much we just love this thing. I never thought that in a list including The Big Lebowski, Fargo, Raising Arizona and Miller's Crossing that a country musical would be my favorite Coen Brothers' movie.


2. Reservoir Dogs- Before he hit the national spotlight with Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino directed his first feature length film with this brilliant crime heist film. I watched it for the first time when I was 13, before Pulp Fiction cam out, so I had no idea what I was in for here. Something about the box of the VHS did it for me. This was right around the time when I was getting heavy into movies and renting pretty much anything I could find. From the opening moments I knew I was in for a treat. We meet our characters sitting around a table at a diner discussing Madonna and the ethics of tipping. This dialogue has nothing to do with furthering the plot of the movie and that is why I loved it. Finally there were people on screen just talking. Characters allowing us to get to know them through regular dialogue. The movie, told in sections from the present and the past is a flawless movie. The violence at the end remains one of my favorite closing scenes, the acting and script are both perfect and Tarantino shows he knows how to direct a movie. This movie is one of my favorite movies of all time, coming in at number 2 most days, which is saying a lot considering it was just some random movie I picked up at Blockbuster.


1. The Usual Suspects- This is my all time favorite movie, but when I first watched it, I went to see it because I just wanted to try my hand at sneaking into an R-rated movie. That is literally the only reason I saw this movie in 1995. My friends had started buying tickets for movies but going into R-rated movies and I wanted to do the same so this is the movie I chose. I walked in as the final trailer showed and for the next 100 minutes I was thrown into a world of movie perfection. The performances range from perfect to beyond perfect and the story while seemingly simple is a wonderful crime story. Kevin Spacey came into his own as an actor in this movie and Bryan Singer became a big name director with this movie. This movie made careers of about half the people in it, that is how good it is. There is a twist, but the movie is so good that repeat viewings do not diminish by knowing what happens in the end. This movie also features one of my favorite lines to ever be in a movie and it seems the perfect way to end this section "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone."


It seems a little easy to include my two favorite movies in this list, but it just goes to show you that sometimes you can find gems in the most random of places. I would love to hear about some movies that were pleasantly surprising to everyone else, for the simple fact that maybe it could be something I missed or perhaps someone saw a movie in a different way than I did and maybe I need to see a movie again. Also, feel free to talk about my picks as well, whether you agree or disagree.

the 10 most disappointing movies I have seen

As I was pondering new possibilities for a top 10 list, my co-worker put the idea of a disappointing movies list. I kind of thought about it for a few days and tried to come up with some crazy unbelievable list like a list calling Wizard of Oz disappointing or something like that, but the fact is, most disappointing movies are sequels for me or bad comic book movies because in order for a movie to disappoint me, I had to go into a movie with high expectations and usually when it comes to classic cinema, I don't get big expectations. So here is my list, perhaps not as sexy or as controversial as it could have been, but deal with it!


10. The Village- I was among the minority who felt Signs was an excellent film. Sure, the ending was a little weaker than I would have liked, but the movie was scary and interesting. Add to that, Unbreakable and The 6th Sense, it seemed M. Night could do no wrong. This was a movie about creepy monsters stalking the woods of a village and featured a great cast, so I had high expectations of it. Sadly, this movie is short on scares, turns out to be crazy predictable and just lacks the usual punch his movies had. William Hurt is at his possible worst and Adrien Brody is so painful to watch that I felt it negated him having an Oscar. I had this movie figured out in 30 minutes and wince M. Night relies so heavily on the big reveal at the end, this was a borefest for me.


9. Batman Forever- Val Kilmer and Tommy Lee Jones are great actors and Jim Carrey may have been the best choice ever for The Riddler and while Tim Burton was no longer attached, Joel Schumacher wanted to bring out the wild colors the Batman comics of the nineties had. It seemed like everything was there for a great comic book movie, but man did it ever go wrong. First off, Tommy Lee Jones was so over the top that Jim Carrey had to go even bigger to find The Riddler, then we added Chris O' Donnell to this horrid mix and the entire franchise just had the momentum robbed from it.


8. Harry Potter 5- The poster was awesome. The trailer was outstanding. The line "You will lose Everything" is epic and the 3rd and 4th installments of this franchise just raised the bar and the level of excitement. I went in expecting to be blown away yet again, and instead I was blown into a near R.E.M sleep of boredom. Where was the magic? And who turned Harry Potter into a kid who would listen to Plain White Tee's and cry about it? Lacking any sense of good storytelling or interesting style the movie meanders about for over 2 and a half hours before coming to a non conclusion only leaving me more frustrated and less excited for the final two installments.


7. Finding Nemo- Perhaps the only real controversial movie on my list because it is so beloved, but why? Well, Pixar had had hit after hit until this point and the company had turned kids movies into smart, moving, touching, good-for-the-entire-family fun. I didn't get to see this until a few weeks after it came out, so the hype was beyond anything I had seen for an animated film. Ellen Degeneres is always funny and the animation looked stunning so it was another sure fire hit. Except someone forgot to tell the writers/directors to give me someone to care about. Nemo was a brat, Dora was annoying, Marlin didn't make me care if he found his kid again oh and the jokes, flat, flat flat.


6. Superman Returns- The fact that Superman was being played by a nobody mattered nothing to me because Bryan Singer(X-men and Usual Suspects) was the director and Kevin "Freaking" Spacey was playing Lex Luthor. Nothing could wrong here, nothing at all. Well, I was wrong. The movie is fine, I guess. It is average with a twist that doesn't twist, a Lois that is both bland and unpretty and the movie saw less action than I did in High School, which is saying something. They gave away the single best shot in the trailer and even Kevin Spacey could not save this thing from being a mess. It still stings to think about at times.


5.The Matrix Reloaded- With the first Matrix changing the entire scope of action movies, it was a near impossible task to top it, but because the movie made so much money the studio decided they needed to try and top it. The plot makes even less sense, the Jesus metaphor gets even more obnoxious and obvious and the movie does not feature anything new or interesting in the visuals department. Keanu shows himself to be the non-actor we all know him to be and need I even mention the pie scene? What the hell was that all about. These guys went on to make an even more illogical third Matrix Movie which was not disappointing because I knew it would suck, although it did bring the Jesus metaphor full circle.


4. Kill Bill Volume 1- Tarentino is a genius in terms of cinema. Not just as a writer and director, but as a fan of movies. The guys knows everything about the different genres and I respect that he has been able to make the kinds of movies he wants to make. Here he wanted to make a kung fu spaghetti western set in modern times and who was I to tell him no. I was worried with Uma "I read lines like a child learning how to read" Thurman, but I knew Tarentino had written this movie for her in his attempt to nail her, so I forgave it. The action is fine and the violence/blood deliberately over the top, but there is something missing, oh yes, a soul. This movie was supposed to be a passion project, but the writing lacked a soul or any emotion at all. When this movie was over I felt as if I had been raped then arrested and raped again.


3. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace- It was only matter of time before the new Star Wars movie made my list and here it is. I am not the biggest Star Wars fan, but the original trilogy is the epitome of good Vs. Evil on screen and it is impossible not to get caught in the hype. The casting was great and the story seemed like it would be interesting enough, but wow did this ever turn into a suck fest of epic suck proportions. Who knew people who had been nominated for acting Oscars could turn into such wooden and stale performers. Forget how whiny Anakin is, who told Natalie Portman to be awful and Ewan McGregor to forget every good acting tip he ever had before. The movie features one awesome sword fight, but the rest of this movie is so god awful it mashes the fight into the ground and turns it into dust, dust that sucks, hard and fast.


2. Van Helsing- I know what you are thinking, "Why the hell is Van Helsing so far up this list." Well I shall tell you. When I first read Bram Stoker's Dracula, I was enamored with the character of Van Helsing. This guy had the balls to track and want to kill Dracula, what could be better than that. Then I found out Hugh "I am awesome all the way around" Jackman would be portraying the the slick, handsome, rugged hunter and I was sold. Then you tell me that Kate Beckinsale is going to be in it and I see from he trailer that she is in leather and I think, "wow even better.!" The trailer looked good and on opening day I was there. Luckily I did not have any sharp objects or I might have slit my wrists over this train wreck of a train wreck. The CGI looks like he let 6 year olds create it (no offense to 6 year olds) and Hugh Jackman looks as if he knows he is a crappy movie. They found a way to ruin Frankenstein, the Werewolf myth, Dracula and Van Helsing all within 2 hours. I guess I have to give some credit accomplishing that. Way to go!


1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest- I know this is about the most obvious number 1 disappointing movie for me, but I never pass up an opportunity to bring back up just how much of an embarrassment to the ideals of cinema this movie truly is. I understand that sentence was awful, but just thinking about this movie makes me forget how to be an intelligent human being. The first Pirates movie was mesmerizing. It was funny, thrilling, sexy and romantic. The second Pirates is dull, characterless, unsexy, dreadfully unfunny and lifeless. Johnny Depp returns as Jack Sparrow but when Mickey Mouse left the money on the night stand after the sex, Depp seems to have lost his heart, his soul and his very fiber that made him a wonderful actor. Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom can't seem to agree on who gets to pose and look pretty and who gets to be the worse actor. I have seen many direct to video movies and a few cinematic adventures that are worse than this disgusting piece of garbage, but those movies had the good decency to not be popular, which makes my hatred for this even worse. How in the world people can find this movie good is beyond me and I have yet to hear a solid case for why anyone likes it because no one has a solid case. Those who like it usually accept that it sucks so bad it could be a porn star, but because they are Disney whores, they tell themselves to just take it and like it. I guess Johnny Depp started a trend!


Well there you have it. I am obviously a bit fired up now but it was good to get that all out. Feel free to list some of the movies you have seen that were incredibly disappointing and feel free to defend any movie on my list that you like, yes even Pirates, that is if you can muster up something other than "well Johnny Depp is so sexy as a pirate."

War

It is usually easy to tell when a movie director comes from the world of the music video because the shots last an average of 10 seconds before some flashy edit. Sometimes I can forgive it (Michael Bay) but sometimes it can very much take you out of the movie. I knew going in that this movie was directed by a music video director and that this was his first motion picture, but with Jet Li fighting Jason Statham in a movie called War, I figured I could forgive the director if he brought the action.


Jack Crawford(Jason Statham) is an F.B.I agent in the Asian gang division and he and his partner start the movie engaged in a shoot out and his partner shoots someone in the face. That person turns out to be Rogue(jet Li), a hired assassin no one has ever caught. Hell, no one even know what he looks like. It turns out he did not kill the assassin and the assassin comes back for revenge and kills Crawford's partner and his wife and child. Three years later Crawford is still obsessed with finding Rogue and it has ruined his marriage and life. He is still in the Asian Gang division of the F.B.I and it seems that Rogue has resurfaced. In the middle of this we are introduced to two different Asian gangs, who are at war with each other. Rogue appears to be playing these gangs off each other in hopes of Asian gang domination. The rest of the movie is a slew of exposition, action sequence and wild, awful twists that come from nowhere and seem to be from the writers' inability to come to a conclusion about the movie.


I was not asking for that much from this movie and it would not have been difficult to satisfy me, yet this movie managed to fully disappoint me. First off Jet Li and Jason Statham only have one fight scene and it comes at the tail end of the movie and only lasts like 2 minutes. The first hour has very limited action, focusing on creating this myth for the character of Rogue, I guess to make us fear him even more. The movie lacks the energy and punch that the good action/fight movies need. Even comparing it to these actors' movies it is awful. While Crank, The Transporter, The One and Black Mask, lack being grounded in any sense of logical reality, they moved fast, packed a big punch and came to a pretty satisfactory conclusion. This movie has none of that, although this movie does have ninjas, so it isn't all bad.


When we do finally get action, it turns out to be pretty good action, especially the big shoot out inside the tea shop. The body count gets high and the bullets are loud and furious, but there is just something missing. I usually enjoy the hell out of watching Stoic Statham grunt one liners in between crazy action stunt, but he seems to be slumming it. Li, never the actor, is 44 years old and has lost a bit in his step. He still manages one incredible sword fighting scene with those aforementioned ninjas, but he looks like he is trying now, whereas he used to be effortless in his ass kicking. Devon Aoki(Sin City) shows up as the daughter of one of the gang lords, but whereas she is usually sexy, dangerous and sultry, here she is boring and average, which I guess follows suit int he movie.


The dialogue is awful, but not nearly as awful as the two major twists that abruptly bring this movie to a conclusion. I am all for twists that seemingly come from nowhere, but in those movies, the writer and director were smart enough to show us how they managed to pull off such stunts, by placing things in the movie to give us clues that we were just not paying attention to because the story was so good. Here, they truly come from nowhere and make absolutely no sense in the story being told. The characters try to give an explanation to their actions that bring on these twists, but they are not sufficient. In fact, they would have needed more scenes with ninjas to off set these twists to make this movie worth it.

Common's "Finding Forever" c.d review

Common is about the most consistent rapper around. With only 1 sub par album to his name, this guy always brings the heat. His last album is considered a classic by many and armed with even more Kanye West beats, Common seemed poised to break even more into the mainstream, the acting and commercials didn't hurt either. Now, he has his very first number 1 album, but does it live up to the hype? Does Common continue to dominate a genre with another great album?


Start the Show- Kanye starts the album off right with a great slow, haunting beat and Kanye also provides the hook with distorted vocals. The first verse is a nice re-introduction to Common, but it is the second verse where he really lets loose dissing a few unnamed emcees with this great blast "With twelve monkeys on stage it's hard to see who's a gorilla/ You was better as a drug dealer." This definitely perks up the ears of anyone who thinks Common only raps about love and is soft, because he is out to prove he is not! 4.5/5


The People- This song is a straight up anthem. Kanye laced Common with a dope, hard beat, but finds the melody in it at the same time. This beat sound like DJ Premier and Kanye co-produced so when Common says "I found the new Primo" he is not lying or even trying to diss Primo. That line set the Internet ablaze, but they should listen to the rest of this dope track with lines like "Visions realize, music affected lives A gift from the skies, to be recognize I'm keeping my eyes on the people, that's the prize" Common is trying to save the souls of every hip-hop lover. 5/5.


Drivin me wild- I had no idea who this Lilly Allen girl was until very recently but singing the hook on this song may have been her calling because she blends perfectly with the interesting sounding beat. In fact, her voice becomes part of the beat, if my ears are working correctly. The song tells the story of a relationship doomed to fail because the two people in it are only interested in shallow things like money, clothes and looking good. This is a typical Common track as he tries to tell us that love is about something deeper by pointing out how stupid material things are. 4/5


I want you- Will I Am is on fire right now as far as production goes. While he is laughable in terms of rapping, due to his awful Black Eyed Peas group, he has the ear of hip-hop with his beats and here he does not disappoint. His vocals on the hook are bland though, so they kind of nix each other. This is probably the most average track on the album. It is a love song that adds nothing to Common's previous work about love. 2.5/5


South side- Kanye and Common trade Couplets and set this beat ON FIRE! Kanye breathes some sort of life into Common and feeds the hunger with his usual cocky, witty one-liners and Common rises to the occasion. This is the most energetic track on the album and even though the hook could be annoying they find a way to make it work, mostly because it matches the energy. Each couplet brings even more heat than the one before crescendo with :Your career is a typo, mine was written like a haiku/I write to 'Do the Right Thing' like Spike do/ Do crime fixed is crucial and trauma is psycho. 5/5


The Game- D.J Premier and Common on the same track again? OH NO! It is like they never left on this classic song. Primo laces his usual brand of slick cuts and and scratches over the break beat and Common spits like a young cat new to the game. Common is getting his Jay-z on with the type of cocky self assured raps that make you realize that while Common comes across as a soft spoken guy, he is not afraid to bitch slap you if you need it.


U, Black maybe- Common is known as one of the more introspective emcees, which is why he is labeled as a conscious rapper. He has always strived to lift the spirits of his black brothers and sisters and this is his uplifting anthem. The beat fits perfectly with the song, not being too busy so we can really listen to what Common is saying. His flow and voice are perfect here. This song is about what it is to be black, or to keep it real. The second verse tells the story of a black baller who get shot and is that what it means to be black? IT kind of points out how ridiculous it is for black people to think once someone gets money that they should stay real, or stay street. 5/5


So far to go- Deangelo stops by to get his sexy singing on this smooth grown and sexy track. This is the song that will get your girlfriend to leave you for Common. The beat is nice but not outstanding and Common brings his usual flavor to the love drama. Common has always appeared more interested in making love to a girl's soul than her body but he is proves he wants the body as well as the soul. Nothing particularly special but it doesn't get boring either. 3.5/5


Break your heart- Kanye gives Common a bit of a funky beat that transforms itself from verse to hook and it continues the nice chemistry West and Common share. The song is about a girl he met a few different times and how he is trying to holler at her, but she doesn't seem to want it because she does not want the rapper to break her heart. At heart this song is about a man's inability to commit, even when he knows it is what he wants. 4/5


Misunderstood- Kanye samples one of the great soul songs "don't let me be misunderstood" here and it works amazingly well. The song is about the trials a young urban youth goes through. It doesn't sound groundbreaking, but the beat is so haunting and Common has so much passion for the subject and his intelligent lyrics and rhyme patterns keep this song above the standard fare. There is something terrific about this track, even if I cannot quite put my finger on it. 5/5


Forever begins- Another great melding of Kanye's production and Common's rhymes. The album ends on a pretty optimistic note even if the lyrics here are often cautious and the hook is pretty incredible. Common's earnest nature comes through in full effect here and when you are done listening to this final song on the album you feel like words really could change the world or at least be a catalyst for it.5/5


Common makes me want to write and to say things that other people can get behind. He is constantly trying to help others through music and it is refreshing to hear an album like this. He is intelligent throughout, passionate beyond belief and always willing to try something else. It is not a perfect album, but the perfect songs make it a nearly perfect venture. By the time Common lets his dad get his spoken word on, you are ready to sign up to fight the power and ready to go hug your neighbor, just because you think that is what Common wants us to do.

Superbad

Seth Rogen has had about as good of a year as someone could have, save Shia Labeuf. He starred in the biggest comedy of the year, Knocked up and in it he got to make out with the unbelievably hot Katherine Heigel and became a star in his own right. He also wrote this movie, which critics have been praising and they praise his small role in this movie. He became an cting star and a writing star all in one year, it is hard to have a better year! This movie has been being written for 14 years and the lead characters take on the names of the two writers- Seth and Evan. I have been looking forward to this movie since I first saw a trailer and with so few comedies, scratch that, so few FUNNY comedies being released every year, I knew that if this would be funny it would be very funny.


Seth(Jonah Hill, the new overweight comic guy) and Evan(Michael Cera, who may be a comic genius) are co-dependant high school seniors who are not going to the same college next year. They have been best friends forever and as high school comes to end they realize they need to stop talking about sex and start actually having it. They both have objects of their affection, Seth desiring Jules (Emma Stone) and Evan desiring Becca(Marha MacIssac). They also have a friend whom they cannot stand, Fogel(Newcomer Christopher Mintz-Plaase) who just got his hands on a fake I.D. Without seeing this I.D Seth and Evan promise the girls they like they can score alcohol for Emma's party. Both boys think if they get their girls drunk they can nail them. They spend the rest of the movie looking for alcohol and encountering some hilarious people and situations. Fogel's I.D just says "McLovin" and thanks to the trailer that moment where he looks up and says "I am Mclovin" will live for a long time on shirts and what-not. Fogel becomes the victim of a robbery and the two cops who comes to solve it are possibly the worst cops ever. Officers Slater and Michaels (Bill Hader and Seth Rogen) are cops who drink on the job, shoot their guns of randomly and seem incapable of doing anything police like. Fogel, Seth and Evan run into these guys a few times throughout the evening and while I will not spoil exactly what happens, I liked that the movie took a real life approach as opposed to the fantasy route of say American Pie.


This movie is funny the way a Kevin Smith movie is funny- the comedy comes from things people actually say. Rogen and his writing partner, Goldberg have a way of capturing very authentic sounding dialogue. Yes, that makes it very filthy, but high schoolers often talk like that. Hill and Cera have an obvious connection and play incredibly well off each other. Hill's over the top hilarious monologues are balanced by Cera's bumbling awkwardness and like Abbot and Costello the differences in looks help to make the comedy. Hill is not afraid of a little physical comedy as he gets hit by 2 cars and Cera will find a way to say a line to make it funny, even if it was not written as a joke. This movie does live and die with these two stars and it lives big and hilarious because these two guys make it work. Both Rogen and Hader add great elements to the comedy as the out of touch cops but I do wish Hader got to use his vocal impressions a little more because on Saturday Night Live he is the at his best in impressions. he does do a little Yoda here and maybe he wants to stay away from them in movies, but even without impressions he is quite funny.


Yes the stuff that happens in this movie are over the top and pure movie situations but nothing ever seems like a side gag just for the sake of a side gag. We know that these boys want to find alcohol because they believe sex comes with it, so we understand that they will go to insane lengths to get it done, therefore no situation is entirely implausible and Fogel's insane dorkiness actually makes him cool because of how unaware he is that he is a dork. With Fogel, Plasse has created a brand new nerd for the world to rally behind, because of how great his performance is. He is cool, but always on edge and he gives all very nerdy people hope. The next thing I really loved about this movie is that the girls, while never rising above being objects, are not overly hot. Not to say they aren't hot because I happen to think both of them are but they aren't obviously hot. These are girls who could maybe find a way to be with nerds and that gives a sense of realism to the movie. I do wish the girls had been written a bit better, but I guess that is what makes Rogen a very good writer and not a great writer, like say Judd Apatow.


I cannot recommend this movie to everyone because the dialogue mostly fixates on sex and body parts involved in sex and that just doesn't work for some people, but the movie is truly hilarious from beginning to end and while it may not quite have the one-liners of a Kevin Smith or Judd Apatow script, it does have some wonderful zingers and some very funny real moments. In the end this movie is about two guys trying to find their place in the future and coming to terms to being separated after spending their entire lives together. There is a very touching moment towards the end that works because it doesn't lose the humor, but it manages to get very honest at the same time and in the end, that is what makes good movies, honesty, beneath everything else. When the opening credits of a movie hearken back to the 70's and feature silhouettes of our leads trying to dance and it cracks you up, you know you are in for a treat from the very beginning to the very end, period.

High School Musical 2

In a testament to the first installment of this behemoth, I was actually kind of excited to watch the sequel. I know I am not supposed to admit such a thing and that it kind of goes against most of what I believe in life and in watching movies, but I couldn't help it. I was drawn into this world where popular jocks are squeaky clean and where the music is about as over produced as humanly possible. I can't help but love some of those songs from the first one and I was interested to see where Disney would take this budding franchise. 3 of the stars have record contracts through Disney and all of these kids owe their careers to Disney, although Zac Effron is doing his best to break free from the bounds of Disney, so I was wondering how all of that would affect this movie.


Taking place a few months after the first one (and we never find out how the musical went, my first complaint), the kids are about to embark on summer. The opening scene gives us the incredibly obnoxious drama teacher, but luckily it is the only place she shows up. The wildcats basketball team all need jobs for the summer, but only Troy(Zac Effron)manages to find work, thanks to Sharpay(Ashley Tisdale). Sharpay thinks if she hooks Troy up hardcore that he will dump Gabriella(Vanessa Hugdens) and hook up with her. Well the running theme throughout this movie stems from the tail end of the last one- We're all in this together! So, Troy will only take the job if the entire crew gets to work there. The club director agrees but immediately regrets it because Sharpay is furious because now Gabriella will be there all summer as well. It should be said that Sharpay's parents own the exclusive club at which all of these people work. The club puts on a big talent show every year and Sharpay and her brother Ryan(Lucas Grabeel) have won it the last five years but this year the wildcats are considering doing the show. Sharpay tricks Troy into performing with her and Ryan in turn decides to help the Wildcats figure out a cool song and dance number. Troy starts to forget his friends and his mantra of "We're all in this together" becomes "I gotta do for me." He fights with his best friend Chad(Corbin Bleu) and he and Gabriella have yet another fight, but it is Disney so do not worry, things turn out all right in the end.


This movie starts off on a strong note with a big group number called "What time is it" about the upcoming summer. The number is a high energy number and the kids get some good dance moves in there and once again use basketballs as dance props, except where as "Get ur head int he game" from the first one, this song doesn't suck, well not much anyway. The music is even more overly produced this time and all of the kids sound as if their voices were run through a computer to digitize them. It is an awful affect that will plague this entire movie. The movie keeps things going with a STOMP inspired drum song called "Work this out" and a Sharpay number called "Fabulous." At this point it seems as if this movie might actually be more infectious than the first one. It is peppier, the songs with higher energy and while they lack the instant smash hit feel, you know they will grow on you. Sadly, we go a little while without any music from this point and the movie kind of treads water as a movie where the kids want to sing but don't get to for a little while. Luckily the show stopping number is just around the corner. As Ryan is trying to convince Chad to dance, they play a little baseball. As they play they sing and dance and as corny as it looks(mostly because neither Corbin or Lucas have any clue on how to swing a bat correctly) it is one absolute fun number. Any number that uses hip-hop wannabe rhythms with swing and jazz dance while using baseball bats is worth watching to me! Grabriella gets her solo I-am-so-disappointed-in-Troy song with "I gotta go my own way" and it is a fine song I guess. The staging is corny as all heck, but I guess that is the way it is supposed to go, right?


If you have read my Hairspray review you know I have a bit of a man crush on Zac Effron. I am not ashamed of such a thing because well it happens, so you can imagine my joy when Zac got his big solo emo dance ballad thingy. Even better is that it is staged in such a way that every time me leaps out of frame and the camera catches up to him, he is in a new locale. He jumps from grass to rocks to sand to being near a pond with each leap! The song "Bet on it" has a certain dramatic flair and Effron is going to be a star, but it would have been nice if he could have emoted without all the silly angry arm thrusts and whatnot. The closing number "All for one" is nowhere near the song that "We're all in this together" was and I think once you realize that about this song and the entire movie in fact, it becomes mostly enjoyable. The movie is even more cheesy this time but the dancing is a lot more fun. The acting even more corny and the music unbelievably computerized, but at its heart it has a good message and since I am not the target audience, I guess the movie works. They still show teenagers in a ridiculously innocent light and even though Sharpay gets to a soap opera level of bitchy, they forgive her for some unknown reason, oh wait that's right it is because "We're all in this together!" For me the stand out here is Lucas. His Ryan is infinitely hilarious and he manages to wear the most awful looking clothes with a cool confidence that make them not so ugly. I know he is overshadowed by Corbin Bleu's atrocious clown fro, but Lucas deserves a little more shine because after all in the first movie he said what every musical theater geek has always known "Everyone loves a good Jazz Square."

On the Razzle @ Ashland Shakespeare Festival

Every year this festival seems to put on one wacky, high energy, smart comedy. In terms of wacky, high energy, smart comedies, Tom Stoppard reigns supreme. He is better known for Arcadia or Rosencrantz and Guilenstern are dead or even the screen play for SHakespeare in love, but Rough Crossing is one of those pure comic masterpieces and On the Razzle is very much in that vein.


I could never do the premise justice so I am going to just copy the basic premise out of the playbill: Herr Zangler(Tony DeBruno, purveyor of high class provisions, is about to go to Vienna to strut in a parade and celebrate the birthday of his fiancee. Before he departs he arranges to hide his niece from a fortune hunter and leaves his shop in the hands of Weinberl(Rex Young) and Christopher(Tasso Feldman). Unsupervised and in charge, Weinberl and Christopher close up the shop and head of to Vienna for "adventure and hijinks." They are not the only ones, it turns out, with a longing to go "on the razzle"


This farce is ridiculously hilarious and ridiculously smart. The jokes come with every line and if you are not paying attention you will miss all kinds of amazing word play. Stoppard some how makes puns seem about as hilarious as the best joke ever and each of the actors are on top fo their game. I can't imagine this show had an easy rehearsal process with how important timing is to each and every joke. Because it is a farce we get mistaken identity, chases, people hiding in the same room as other people and just a mad cap sense of insanity but it never feels forced and even when we know exactly what is coming next we find ourselves laughing and not even caring because Stoppard finds a way to take a simple overused genre and flip it on its head. The Weinberl and Christopher characters are seeminely based on Cornelious and Banraby from The Matchmaker and Ferris Bueller may have taken his cues from these two characters as they pretend to be high class business men and escpaing without paying the bill. Weinberl even pretends to be married to a woman and when that woman shows up in the same store he lucks out that she seems interested in where he may be taking this whole wedding thing.


Weinberl and Christopher have exceptional comic timing and chesmistry. They manage to play off of each other with such grace and ease that it is impossible not to like them. The scene in the resturant gives them both a chance to stretch their comic muscles and each thing works. Inf act, in this entire play I cannot think of a single bit, side gag, pratfall, joke or set up that was not executed perfectly and even the small roles get a perfect chance to shine. Whether it is the annoyed french waiter, the carriage driver into big butts or the sexy red headed maid who realizes she enjoys being whipped, they all work. I wish I had some criticism but I do not. I laughed from the opening moments and laughed until five minutes after this thing was over and really wish everyone I knew who loved comedy on the live stage could this thing!

Romeo and Juliet @ Ashland Shakespeare festival

As much as I love Shakespeare, I do not believe I could be classified as a traditionalist. I think Baz Luhrman's updated version is borderline brilliant and when I saw an all Black cast of Othello (with the exception of Othello) I thought it was incredible, so I am perfectly fine with changes being made to the plays. Hell, I even find some of the modern movies playing on the Shakespeare plays (The Lion King/Hamlet, Ten things I hate about you/Taming of the shrew) are usually pretty good. It is a testament to William Shakespeare's brilliant writing and incredible storytelling. So, when I heard that the festival's Romeo and Juliet would be modernized a bit I was not inherently worried about it.


If you don't know the basic premise of this play, you really have no business living so I won't be spending time rehashing the plot of this show and inside dive right in to reviewing it. First off I have to talk about the modernization of this show. The elder characters appear in traditional period costumes and the young appear in modern day clothing. There are modern day cops and a few modern day props like caution tape, a body bag and things like that. The young kids first appear in catholic private school uniforms and throughout are usually shown in pretty basic outfits- the guys in jeans and a button down white shirt and Juliet in a little dress and some kick ass boots. Those things did not bother me whatsoever. What bothered me was how the director seemed to be totally oblivious to how an audience would react or what would get the focus of the audience. For example, At the party where Romeo and Juliet meet, the elders start the party by dancing the way people would have back then before a d.j takes over and the young people start freak dancing and whatnot. It is a genuinely funny moment but there is a problem with it. In order to give focus to Romeo and Juliet meeting, everyone on stage fades back and starts dancing in slow motion, but when you see people in the background freak dancing in slow motion during a Shakespeare play, that is where your focus goes and that is what draws out laughter. However, we should be watching Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time. We should be watching the sparks fly and the love blossom, not giggling because some girl is copying a dance from a rap video. Also, right after Romeo has killed Tybalt, the cops pull out the yellow caution tape and of course the crowd is going to laugh at that, but the moment is a truly serious moment in this show and it flies over the heads of the crowd because they are giggling.


That is not to say that I did not enjoy the show because I did, but it was in spite of a clueless director. First of all, the words are still Shakespeare words so they are hilarious, intelligent and heart breaking. Most people consider this to be the most tragic love story ever and in some ways it is. You have to remember that in this time period people married who they were told to and so it would make sense that young people who have a connection could rush into believing it is love and Romeo is about the most romantic guy ever. Our Romeo(John Tufts) played up a cockiness in the character I had not seen much of but it worked because it made his transition to love sick emo boy so much more tragic. Our Juliet(Christine Albright), a gorgeous vision, also played Juliet a little differently than I had seen before. She seemed to play up Juliet's sense of entitlement factor. She was very good, if a bit whiny but the two had tremendous chemistry, which could be due to the fact that they hang out off stage as well (yes we saw them the next day on the street).


In all of the years my family has been going to this festival there is one actor whom we just love in everything. His name is Don Donohue and I have seen him in 4 or 5 different shows and he is always fantastic. I have seen him in Shakespeare and non Shakespeare and he can just do it all and in this show he was playing Mercutio and I was very excited about it because I love this character and I was not disappointed. Clearly this man was the high point of the show for me playing Mercutio the way I always have envisioned him to be played. He was physically loose and confident but never overly cocky. People always have a tendency to play him like a typical hot head, but that was not found here. He was not afraid to fight, but he wasn't really looking for a fight and it made watching this part so much better for me. I was sad he doesn't get the kind of death I would have liked to see, but when he was on stage it raised the level of the show.


My other complaints come from the Nurse (Demetra Pittman). Some people just do not understand the language or rhythm of a Shakespeare play. It is not really their fault, but it exists and this woman had no clue what she was doing on that stage. her words did not make any sense because she did not know how to recite them. She was not funny, which the nurse can be and she was not interesting, which the nurse can be. She was just this obnoxious woman who could barely spit out the words and was so obviously acting it was painful. However, Lord Capulet (Jonathan Haugen) was the exact opposite. That part is very difficult because he gets a huge outburst that seems to come from nowhere but this man committed fully to his breakdown and turned it into a masterpiece of over the top acting. I think the first row may have got spit on, but man was it ever effective.


The story is still wonderful even if the director did not have a clue on how to direct a Shakespearean tragedy and preferred to play up non-existent comic moments instead. I was fairly disappointed by the show in the end but the acting from the youngsters made the show worthwhile for me. I am worried that the director is going to be taking over as the artistic director for the entire festival starting next year, but I will be withholding judgement on it until next years.

Rush Hour 3 (spoilers, I guess)

In the third Scream movie, Jaime Kennedy gives the rules of being part of a trilogy and one of the rules is that this time around things are personal. Apparently that goes beyond just horror movies because if you look back you will find a few action movies that carry that same mantra and Rush Hour is no different. However, before you even get into that you have to ponder the question as to whether a third Rush Hour movie, especially 6 years after Rush Hour 2. Typically these buddy type movies run out of steam after one sequel and when they go longer (see Lethal Weapon)they end up diminishing how much you enjoyed the first one or even the first two. Of course, these are Rush Hour movies, so what is the big deal. I mean these movies have always known what they were and never tried to go above and beyond your escapism cinema. We knew Jackie Chan would bounce off walls and use couches to fight and we knew Chris Tucker would run his mouth and say something funny every little while and that the two guys would do a little dance.

The movie picks up 6 years after the last adventure we had with these guys. James Carter (Tucker) has been stripped of detective duty and is on the street controlling parking. He has his ipod on and is singing to prince while doing his usual Michael Jackson dance routine and not paying attention so cars start crashing into each other. Lee (Chan) is back on duty being the bodyguard for the Chinese ambassador and they are traveling to the "world Court" to introduce something that could change the world. Carter and Lee has not spoken in a few years because Carter accidentally shot Lee's girlfriend (she didn't die and they use it as a joke later). The ambassador is shot down by an assassin at the conference and when Carter hears about it he takes off for the court. Our first chase moment is Lee chasing down the would be assassin (The ambassador doesn't die)through a busy freeway in Los Angeles and in a moment that would make Jaime Kennedy happy, the assassin turns out to be... Lee's brother! Lee cannot bring himself to kill him and he escapes, but this puts Lee and Carter back together because Soo Yung (the kidnapped girl from the first movie) makes the two promise to find out who tried to kill her dad. They end up in Paris searching for the leader of the Triad and in Pairs their usual antics continue. The sing a little bit, fight some, and argue. Also a bald woman shows up to lend some really bad gay jokes to Carter.

The things that made the first two movies work were the chemistry between the two and also the action to joke ratio was pretty good. This movie is exactly the same as the first two, but it is no longer very interesting or funny. The action scene in the hospital hearkens to the first two, combining good gun action and jokes and the final showdown in the Eiffel Tower is a lot of fun, if incredibly unlikely, but other than that this movie falls incredibly flat. A lot of Asian jokes, a Brokeback joke and a white nun being "down" are what this pins its hope on and they all seem to fall flat. Chris Tucker, a man I have always found to be very funny, appears to have run out gas and jokes because most of the time he is just obnoxious here. He hasn't made a single movie since Rush Hour two and maybe he is not meant to be a movie star. Jackie Chan is getting old and has apparently run out of stunts because I am fairly certain if you watched Rush hour 2 and 3 back to back you would find a lot of similar stunts, especially ones involving a love seat. Of course there is someone in higher power who turns out to be bad and if you are paying any attention at all you will figure it out about 15 minutes in, but again that doesn't really matter to these movies.

If I were to find all the good stuff about this movie I would start with the 90 minute run time. This movie hits the ground running and doesn't stop for things like character development and story, who needs those things when you have Chris Tucker trying to fight a guy who stand about 8 feet tall!?! Also, the typical scene where Tucker and Chan have a fight and wander the streets alone while some very corny song plays, does not disappoint as Tucker ends up eating Asian food and Chan eats some fried chicken, yes fried chicken! Homophobia and racism be damned here. The director of this mess is Bret Ratner, the man charged with ruining X-men and in fact charged with ruining cinema itself with his bad movies. I have never had a problem with his movies. I mean I love the first two installments of this franchise but a third one just seems pointless.

with the exception of the classic trilogy- needing 3 movies to tell one single story-movie franchises that go further than 2 tend to have at least one of the movies be of a lesser quality than the other two. Sometimes the third one is created to make up for a bad second one- Ocean's and Indiana Jones- or they have a bad third leg- Ninja turtles and Back to the future and now Rush Hour. I know these movies are just supposed to help us make it through the end of summer blues as school creeps up, but is it too much to ask that the jokes be new or that the action look interesting? The movie underperformed this weekend compared to the last installment so hopefully we will be spared the Lethal Weapon curse of making a fourth one because I doubt I will need any more jokes from Chris Tucker about turning Asian people into California rolls.

Stardust

Every so often a movie can surprise you, some for the good and others for the bad. So often I have a basic idea of what I am getting myself in for and I have an idea if I am going to love or hate a movie, but this movie was somewhat of wild card for me. The story seemed interesting and it had some good actors, but the trailers never really gave me an idea of what to expect. Could a movie about a falling star be good, or would it just come off as weird and cheesy? It is billed as a fantasy movie, but what does that really mean? After a summer of being disappointed in "fantasy" like Pirates and Harry Potter, I wasn't sure I was really going to be interested in this movie. But again, every so often a movie can surprise you- good or bad.


Stardust begins with Ian McKellen narrating a story about a teenager who believes there is a magical world just on the other side of the wall that keeps his town separated from everything. The teenager has written a scientist about this theory but no one seems to take any stock into what he is saying. The teenager wants to cross the wall but there is a gatekeeper of sorts there keeping him out. The teen tricks the gatekeeper and ends on the other side eventually coming to a town seemingly full of magic. He meets a girl who claims to be a princess trapped by an evil witch. Naturally they have sex. 9 months later a baby is dropped off at his door. The story fast forwards 18 yrs and we meet Tristan(Charlie Cox), the baby who is now grown up. Tristan is after the heart of a young woman, Victoria (Sienna Miller) and when they see a falling star(Claire Danes) Tristan says he will bring her the star to prove he loves her. 3 witches are also after the fallen star because if they cut out the heart of a fallen star they can gain eternal youth. Michelle Pfeiffer is the leader of these witches and she sets off to find the star. Also there is a storyline involving a dying king and his sons. The king dies but as he is dying he says that whichever brother can find the ruby will be king. He throws the ruby into the sky, it hits the star, which causes it to fall and now the star wears the ruby around her neck. So in all, Tristan, the witches and the 4 princes are all after the star.


This movie is surprisingly good. It is hilarious, whimsical, magical and heart warming. It is everything a fairy tale should be because after all it is a fairy tale. We have witches, princes, magic and even pirates. The humor comes fast and it comes early. If you aren't laughing at the the first scene with the princes then you might not get the rest of the jokes, but the humor is very random, smart and very funny. It is also pretty dark humor, which was the biggest surprise for me. Fairy tales are usually pretty light hearted in nature, but this found humor in murder and even some in torture. The story comes across as a bit basic, but the way it is played works for me. We all know where the movie is headed from beginning to end, but that never takes away from the fun we have watching it. The effects are all fun and while they aren't going to change the way effects are done, they fit well into this kind of story. The score is perfectly epic to match all of the swooping camera shots. Director, Matthew Vaughn certainly loves big swooping cameras and making 360 degree circles letting us take everything in before moving the story forward.


On the performance level, Cox and Danes have a wonderful light hearted chemistry and Cox gives a very earnest and charming portrayal as a man in love. Danes shines playing something as opposed to someone. We are told that stars watch us so Danes was able to pull form that giving a performance that had a wide eyed innocence, but also a hint of street smarts to go along with it. Pfeiffer is having an absolute blast as the witch who starts to age every time she uses her powers. She starts off looking about as good as she ever has and then she wrinkles and hair falls out and her boobs sag. The princes don't all have much personality, but they provide some hilarious moments throughout that I do not want to ruin it because being surprised by it was half the fun. Also, Robert De Niro shows up as a pirate in a cameo that is as hilarious as it is weird.


Of course, this is not an all out comedy though. Don't worry the action is as much fun as the comedy. There is a sword fight between our hero and a zombie that is more thrilling than any of the sword fights in the last two Pirates movies and on top of that moment the entire climatic event is fun and thrilling. The movie moves quickly and while it comes in at a little over two hours it does not at all feel like it. Vaughn has recently been tapped to direct the Marvel Thor movie and if this movie is any indication, it should be a good movie, especially the way lightening looks and is used in this movie. I have not read Neil Gaiman's novel that this movie is based on, but as a stand alone movie it really works in every way. There are a few other cameos by famous English actors like Peter O' Toole, Rupert Everett and Ricky Gervais that are all entertaining and actually I wanted more for Gervais because he is really funny here. But, I guess if my only complaint is that I wish a cameo had been extended, well that means it was a pretty damn good movie. A pretty damn good, and very surprising movie. Who could ask for more from a movie with such a predictable story and one that even ends with "And they lived happily ever after."

Hairspray: Fun Musical or blight on mankind

A few weeks ago a fun little movie called Hairspray came out to wonderful reviews from both critics and movie goers. With fun music, great dancing, a feel good story, a good looking cast and a perky lead character the movie is a fun summer romp, or is it? Having seen the movie fully through three times and seen bits and pieces of it throughout the last three weeks I have started to notice that this movie is not exactly the fun movie we all thought it was; if you pay close attention and are not distracted by all the singing and dancing it is actually quite startling. The themes lying underneath the surface need to be talked about and brought to the public attention so we can begin a national boycott. Don’t believe me, well read on.


Theme 1: It is ok to be yourself as long as you realize black people are cooler.


At first it seems that this movie is for equality but if you pay attention it is actually hoping to turn the inequality on its head by showing that black people are cool while white people need black people to seem cool. Look at Tracy and Amber. We love Tracy because she dances the cool black dance moves, listens to the hip black music and befriends black people, but is Amber really that bad of a person? Does she break any laws (unlike Tracy) to get where she is wanting to go? No, so she has a few typical teenage girl jealousy issues, but what girl wouldn’t when you realize your hot boyfriend wants the “cool” girl. It is her mother who breaks the laws, not Amber but do we forgive her, well sort of because at the end she is seen trying to learn the cool black moves from one of the black dancers. Once again proving that this movie is trying to show that those of us who are ok with our whiteness are not cool unless we hang out with a bunch of black people. Where is the equality in that?


Theme 2: When naïve white girls kiss a black guy they turn into skanks.

Penny is a sweet innocent flower of a girl. She doesn’t dance but kind of awkwardly spins her body while her innocent pigtails flail about. Her mom is a devoted Christian and Penny is never quite as cool as Tracy. Her innocence is appealing and we are rooting for her the entire movie, well almost. Towards the end her little crush turns into something much more when Seaweed climbs up to her room and kisses her. In that moment everything changes, Penny goes from a cute girl to an all out whore. When she starts to sing, she growls through her words, unable to keep her hands off of her lover. She spends most of the movie in long loose dresses, but as soon as she locks lips with the forbidden fruit, her final dress is body forming, cleavage showing and very sexual. She even gets on the dance floor and it is only a matter of time before she is screaming for seaweed to give it to her. Not only does this look unfavorably on innocent white girls, but it does not bode well for black people. What kind of message does this send about black teenage boys? Why must movies always somehow show that black people bring out some sort of animal desires? We get it black Americans came from Africa, but this is just blatant racism! Speaking of racism-


Theme 3: Black guys always carry knives


After Seaweed plants that whore turning kiss, Penny has been tied up and punished by her mother, but have no fear because for some unknown reason, Seaweed just happens to be carrying a knife. We do know that he is from the ghetto thanks to his song but nowhere else in this movie does he have a knife? Or does he? Perhaps he has been carrying it all along and we just accept that black people carry knives at all times. Also, if you notice it kind of turns Penny on, taking us back to theme 2. Seaweed dances on a TV show during Negro day, he does not run with the bloods or of the crips. His lethal weapons appear to be his kickin’ dance steps but there is something much darker looming and luckily for him, the director believes all black are always carrying knives just in case something happens that would require them to shank someone.


Theme 4: School is dumb but detention rules!


Tracy is a bad student. She sleeps through classes is genuinely bored until school is out and she can rush home to watch her show. Actually if the show starts right after school than in reality all of the students who appear on the show must leave school early proving that being on a local TV show is far more important than an education. Hopefully for all of these teens, they get fabulous careers because it does not appear that a high school diploma is in any of their futures. On TV they even say “If you want to be one of the nicest kids in town, cut school tomorrow and audition.” What kind of TV show is this? Why not hold auditions after the show that way these kids can still get a good education while they hope to become famous. Oh right, being famous is all that matters to these kids. Obviously this sort of thinking starting in the 60’s and is to blame for the current Lindsay Lohan issue. So can we blame her or just blame movies like this? When Tracy does actually go to school she gets detention. Detention the thing that should be the kiss of death for any high school student turns out to be dance party U.S.A. Well who wouldn’t want to go to detention if it is a club up in there? Detention is supposed to be a quiet and reflective time. It is supposed to happen after school when it will feel like punishment, but apparently the people behind this tragedy of a movie decided to make school seem like prison and detention feel like So you think you can dance.

There it is folks. This movie is clearly a scourge in the side of the American public, but where is the outrage? I will tell you where it is, it is inside me. And now it needs to be inside all of you. It starts with a fun musical but where does it go next? When it end? It won’t until we all stand up and say “No more!” So I will be the one to begin this cry, this boycott because I will put my foot down and say NO MORE!

Talk to me

In the summer between my Junior and Senior year in high school, I got very much into Martin Luther King Jr. I was fascinated by his words , his messages and his speech. So I was reading a biography about him and how his death affected the country and there was a section about Washington D.C and the riots that erupted in the moments after his death was announced on air. It mentioned the free concert James Brown gave to the city but it mostly talked about a radio DJ by the name of Petey Green and how this one DJ seemed to have the entire ear of the inner city and many believed it was he who single handedly stopped the riots with his voice, his words, his message and his speech. When I found out a movie was being made about this DJ and that he was being played by the phenomenal Don Cheadle, well I could not wait for it.


This is a biopic, but instead of following 1 person it really follows 2 people- Petey Green (Don Cheadle) and Dewey Hughes (Chiwetel Ejiofor)- beginning in the 1960's and ending in the 1980's. Petey is a radio DJ in prison and when Hughes goes to that jail to visit his brother Green confronts him about getting a job. Not thinking much of it Hughes tells Green to look him up when he gets out of jail. Finding a way to get out jail early, Green does just that. At first Hughes refuses to give him a job but Green's protests outside of the radio station has gained quite the following so Hughes gives in and gives him chance. In his first show Green calls Berry Gordy (the guy who ran mo-town)a pimp and the guy running the station E.G Sonderling (A Brilliant Martin Sheen) kicks him off the air. That night Hughes is in a bar and hears all of the people talking about that exact radio show and knows what he has to do. Through some trickery, Green gets on the air the next day and sets the D.C area on fire with his quick tongued truth telling. Sonderling cannot fire him after that and so something big is born. The rest of the movie follows his rise and fall, like every other biopic. He gets his own TV show and a giant stand up act eventually landing Johnny Carson, which is where his decline gets big. He is an alcoholic but it doesn't seem to really be a hindrance on his job.


The way Hughes needed Green to say what he was afraid to say and the way Green needed Hughes to do the things he was afraid to do, Cheadle and Ejiofor need each other in this movie. The first half of this thing is quickly paced, hilarious and genuinely moving as we watch these two men spark a friendship that would span decades. The two actors are tender in the right moments and funny int he right moments. Ejiofor is the prefect reactionary character for Cheadle's live wire act. As for Cheadle, well he has never been more alive on screen. He is a very serious actor, but here he shows that he can be hilarious in the same movie as he is serious. If he is not nominated for an Oscar it will be a crime because he carries this movie above your standard biopic fare. The way Jamie Foxx became Ray Charles and Jim Carrey became Andy Kaufman, Don Cheadle is Petey Green. And Petey was a shock jock before Howard Stern, but he was also a prophet for the people. He was the voice for the streets when the streets did not have a voice and this movie captures all of it.


The defining moment in this movie is the scene I mentioned at the beginning, the death of Martin Luther King Jr. It is a turning point in the movie, in Petey Green and the entire nation as it mourned the loss of one of the true heroes, one of the true good ones. Petey gets on the air and lets the city know what has happened and as he tries to spit out the words, he fights back tears and is just a beaten down black man as he says "I am just so tired ya'll, tired of them doing this to our leaders." Then they go outside and see Washington D.C set ablaze in one of the more stirring riot scenes I have seen on screen. Petey knows this is not the way and says to Hughes that he has to get back on the air. He does and what happens is a brilliant scene that is all Don Cheadle and all Petey Green. I can't quote it and I won't be able to do any of it justice, but as I sit hear typing this I am moved to tears again just thinking about the whole thing. And to see the reaction from Martin Sheen at the end of the scene, just wow, this is acting at its finest, really.


The movie itself starts to lose its way after this moment as it feels like it has to cram everything in there, but the performances are so good, I was never that bored. As it always goes with biopics, the rise is more fun to watch than the fall. However, as we see Green fall we see Hughes Rise, which is a very odd contrast. Hughes ends up a big radio DJ, buys the station and gets giant wealth as Green gets less and less, gets sick and sees his stand up comedy not reach the same amount of people. Petey Green never thought much of himself and that seemed to be why he worked. In a time when black people were being killed for senseless reasons and civil rights still in the future, Green served as a voice, a voice larger than one man, a voice larger than one city, but a voice of a race and a generation and in that Don Cheadle and everyone involved in this film have done Petey Green a great service.


It seems fitting to let Petey Green's sign off end this review :Put your fist in the air and know I'll tell it to the hot, I'll tell it to the cold. I'll tell it to the young, I'll tell it to the old. I don't want no laughin', I don't want no cryin', and most of all, no signifyin'. This is Petey Greene's Washington.

Rescue Dawn (spoilers)

Christian Bale is what is known as "An Actors actor." He is a method actor who goes to great lengths to make everything seem real. he unafraid to lose a grotesque amount of weight or gain it back depending on the role. He spends months training an preparing for whatever role comes his way and without fail, he is brilliant. He is just at ease filling the bat suit as he is doing some small indie film. His American accent is nearly flawless and he brings something interesting to every single role, even if the movie isn't very good. At times it is enough that the movie stars Christian Bale, to make it a good movie. So, I was intrigued to see what he would do with a movie that is a survival film because survival films are often long, boring and repetitive.


This movie is based on the true story of Air Force officer Dieter Dangler (Bale), a German born American bred man who is doing his first tour of duty in the Vietnam conflict. In his first assignment he is shot down and eventually captured by the Viet-kong. He spent a great deal of time in a prison like village, being subjected to all kinds of torture and starvation. He meets a group of people who have been in this prison for about 2 years and decides his fate will not be decided by the enemy. He figures out a plan to escape and he and the other prisoners escape and he and his best friend in prison, Duane Martin (Steve Zahn)spent some more time out int he jungle attempting to survive and find a way to be rescued. That is pretty much the entire movie, but the movie lasts an unnecessary two hours.


Like Castaway or any other survival film, this movie drags because there is only so much one can do in the wild with no one else around. Bale manages to hold our interest but with the typical scene lasting only about 3 minutes before cutting to some other typical jungle survival tactic, it doesn't seem like we get enough time to watch Bale work his acting magic. He does play Dangler differently than I think many would have. Bale gives Dangler an overwhelming amount of optimism and even finds a way to bring a sense of joy even while being tortured. The torture scenes are difficult to watch and really give us a sense that nothing good can come from this. Watching Bale's physical appearance change so rapidly is another testament to what he is willing to do to make a role feel authentic and when we watch him pull leeches off his bare bones body, it is impossible not to feel something for him. Steve Zahn brings a bit of his comic persona to his role, but also does a pretty good job of making us take him seriously as a prisoner who had given up hope until Dangler came along.


The camera work is well done as the camera dips and weaves through tall grass and hanging vines but for all the gorgeous shots, the movie is still about 20 minutes longer than it needed to be. However, often times survival films give us a weak epilogue but the epilogue here is perfectly done and is one of the better moments in the film. Bale does his best to make this a great film but it never gets there. I was checking my watch with about a half hour left and was hoping it would end very soon. The release of this film in the middle of summer will not help its chances come awards season, but I would not be surprised if Bale gets himself some nominations from this movie.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Before the first of these movies came I was hesitant about Matt Damon stepping in to play Jason Bourne because from the books it seemed like Bourne was much older and world wearied. I always envisioned someone like Bruce Willis playing the character but now as the trilogy comes to a close, I cannot imagine anyone else taking on the role. That is just how good Matt Damon has been in the role. He brings a quiet kind of self torture to the role that really brings Jason Bourne to life. However, if you are like me and research movies you would never think this could be a good movie at all- They started without a finished script, it had an unusually long shoot (140 days!) and Matt Damon was always described as looking too exhausted. The movie was being released later than the other two which usually symbolizes a lack of confidence by the studio and in a sea of trilogies- Pirates, Spiderman, Shrek, Ocean's and Rush Hour- would it start to fill like a trilogy overload? When it is all said and done though, this movie rocks about as hard as a movie can.

This movie picks up right where The Bourne Supremacy leaves off. I mean right where it left off, with Bourne limping through the streets being chased by cops after his tremendous car chase. It quickly picks up 6 weeks later and we are led to believe that the thing is over. Bourne has been off the grid for 6 weeks and things seem to be settling down, yet a nosy London reporter finds out some inside information and starts posting stories on Jason Bourne and something called "Blackbriar." Bourne sees this as a chance to finally figure out who he is and gets in touch with the reporter. The rest of the movie is a big chase as Bourne searches for answers it becomes more and more clear that he is a bad man, but that he had to be broken down to be such a bad man. We see glimpses of the C.I.A breaking him down through a series of intense looking flashbacks involving Bourne having his head held under water. Back for this movie are C.I.A official Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) and Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles)and newcomers here include C.I.A big wig Noah Vosen (David Strathairn". Vosen is the new man trying to get Bourne killed under the guise of him being a threat to the C.I.A. Landy is slowly realizing things aren't as they seem and is lured into the chase herself.


Director Paul Greengrass has a very distinct style that turns some people off because he uses mostly handheld shaky cameras and it can cause some dizziness and can be a bit off putting, but like in the second Bourne movie, he weaves his shaky camera to perfection through each chase and each fight. The up close shaky nature puts us right in the action, so it feel like we not viewing it but we are experiencing it. Each chase scene, slow and fast are vividly captured and with the camera work don't seem overly choreographed; they just seem like they are happening. There is a scene where the reporter and Bourne are caught in a train station and Bourne is telling the reporter via cell phone how to avoid the cameras and the operatives in the station that is just breathtaking. We watch this reporter duck, weave and bob as he just trusts Bourne and we are on the edge of our seat as we wonder what would happen if this reporter even veers off the path for even a second. Each chase is perfectly crafted and the music, the edits and the in your face camera just make each scene drip with intensity. Add to that Matt Damon's incredible portrayal in each scene as Bourne gets increasingly more tired, exhausted, annoyed and worried, and you get one brilliantly tight action movie.


In keeping in line with the other movies this movie features 2 or 3 fights where Bourne gets 3 or 4 opponents and 1 fight with another "asset" just like him. Also famous in these movies are the car chases. Where the first two movies had things that were awesome and long, it felt a bit choreographed. In this movie, the fight between Bourne and the asset is brutally raw. The camera catches each fist thrown and we hear every time the fist connects with skin. Bourne uses a book to try and choke the other guy and both people use anything they can find to throw and hit each other with. It creates a very real looking fight and a very brutal moment, ending in a severe choke out that allows you to see where Jason Bourne has gone. The Bourne Identity has one of the best car chase scenes ever, but it was topped in the second movie by the brilliantly over the top nearly climatic car chase and Greengrass would have been foolish to try and up the ante here. Luckily he does the opposite, he pulls it back. Instead of a big car chase we get a short, loud, hurtful car chase. Bourne has stolen a cop car and instead of a long car chase where he dodges car after car, this one lasts maybe a minute and Bourne is just ramming his cop car into everything until he gets connected with another car one one incredible flip and explosion happens. Like the fights, the raw realness of it gives this movie a decidedly low tech feel and makes you really understand what Jason Bourne is going through.


The ending of this movie is perfect. It is the perfect closing chapter to an amazing trilogy. It is best to view these movies in order and it is necessary to view the first one before this one because they make more sense in a linear fashion. Matt Damon has become Jason Bourne in the way Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones. He has created an iconic screen persona and if the opening box office receipts are any indication, he has placed himself in the upper eschelon of action stars. These movies ushered in a new wave of action recently seen in movies like Casino Royale and Shooter. Where the Matrix went ushered in an era of flying type fighting, this trilogy was hoping to bring the action back to the ground and make you feel something other than "Damn, that was cool." As far as the summer of 3s go, this one is truly top notch and after thinking on it for two days I will even be so bold as to say I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed Spiderman 3. Yes, I said it.

Slow Burn (Spoilers)

When a movie is made in 2005 but is not released until 2007, it usually means some pretty bad things. It usually means the studio was arguing whether to release it to the big screen or just dump it onto DVD. When a movie is billed as an erotic thriller it also usually means something pretty bad and when it is released the same week as another bad erotic thriller, well..you get the point. So why would I ever rent this movie that has the odds so stacked against it? Why would I rent a movie that boasts a mostly unknown woman as the centerpiece for the sex and thrills? Well, I just happen to love erotic thrillers. They are the perfect amount of cheese to get me through 90 minutes of my day. So did this one rise to the occasion?


Ford Cole( Yes, Ford Cole- Ray Liotta) is a District Attorney on the rise, making his way to Mayor. He is being interviewed by Ty Trippin (Chiwetel Ejiofor) on a night nearing the election when he gets a call that his best prosecutor, Nora Timmer (Lolene Blalock) has just shot and killed a man. She claims it was rape and it is an open and shut case, right? She tells the story of how she met a guy named Isaac Duperde (Mekhi Phifer, seen only in flashbacks) and how he raped her and she had to finish him off before he finished off inside her. It all seems to be true until we meet Luther Pinks (L.L Cool J) and he weaves a completely different tale of how this happened. He claims Timmer seduced Duperde and he even had intimate details of Timmer's naked body, that Cole knows because he is also sleeping with her. Turns out Timmer was trying to get Duperde to testify against the biggest criminal int eh city and she was trying to seduce him into doing it, or was she? Cole is on a race against the clock as he tries to figure out who is telling the truth and who is lying. Along the way he discovers some very unsettling information about his girl and himself. See, it turns out his campaign is being back by the big criminal and if any of this gets leaked his entire career comes crashing down.


This movie seems to be borrowing from The Usual Suspects and Pulp Fiction. Relying on their non-linear story telling devices and twists and turns, but the problem here is that none of the twists are shocking because if you are paying attention it is easy to figure just about all of it before the characters do. That is not to say it is an awful movie, just an average one. Liotta is solid as a man realizing he is on the verge of losing everything and in the flashbacks Phifer is his usual solid self. Taye Diggs shows up for some much needed exposition and is wasted, as usual. Blalock is the key to this thing though. Her character is who is at the center of this possible conspiracy. Is she good or bad? Is she black or white? Yes, that is key. See this movie plays off the idea that this woman is bi-racial, that depending on the light, she can walk with white people or walk with black people. A lot of time is spent driving that theory home with us, including some very unnecessary lighting effects, just in case we don't understand the concept of a light skinned black girl.


I wanted to like this movie but it isn't very erotic or very thrilling. The sex is excruciatingly timid considering how sexual they make the main girl to be. The dialogue is awful, especially this gimmick of L.L Cool J's character remembering people and moments by relating them all to smells of food, yes smells of food. One day Timmer smells like mashed potatoes and so on. The whole white and black issue seems to be a pointless diversion from the truth, a red herring to keep us from figuring out just who is who and what exactly is going on, but it isn't an interesting enough question to have thrown me off the scent of what was really going on. Ray Liotta is better than this and Taye Diggs needs to start doing work that shows the promise he showed in his early films because taking these wasted roles is just sad to see.

Underdog

To be perfectly honest I never would have seen this movie if it was not at my theater because I would never pay to see something like this. The first time I saw the trailer I thought it could be kind of a cute movie but as the release date neared and more trailers and promos came out, I got less and less interested. But I watched it anyway so I guess I can review it.


Cartoons turning into live action movies aimed at kids are rarely any good and this is truly no exception. Underdog is a superhero dog who in the cartoon takes some sort of drug pill to get his super strength and in this movie some sort of experiment goes horribly wrong and he is endowed with Superman like powers. Also, he can talk. A retired cop runs him over, takes him home and the dog forms a bond with the son. The son is moody, emo and silent because his mom recently died but he and is father never discussed it. We do not ever find out how his mom died and the only reason it seems to exist to make the kid a lot more needy when it comes to bonding with our hero dog. Underdog falls in love with another dog and she thinks he is not underdog (more Superman stuff). The evil genius Dr. Barsinister (Peter Dinklage) is after Underdog because the dog is taking all of the glory he thinks he deserved for creating the potion that turned an ordinary dog into a pun rhyming crime fighter. His assistant, Cad (Patrick Warburton) follows his every footstep and in the end they end up as bunk mates in prison.


I know this movie is aimed at kids and that nothing I say really matters because I am not of that target age, but this movie is woefully bad. I counted myself chuckling 3 times and all 3 at Warburton doing his usual routine of dumb guy charm. Jason Lee as the voice of Underdog could have been a good choice but the dialogue is so awful it really doesn't matter who voiced him. The theme of the movie is that even the Underdog can win, but it isn't actually true because once the little dog is pumped up on steroids, he is no longer the Underdog. In fact, he cannot defeat the evil Barsinister until he gets his powers back, after he briefly loses them. So in reality, this movie is saying that if you need an extra boost, well that is ok! The CGIed dog is not all that impressive and the action isn't thrilling or funny. I guess I can see where kids would laugh at his trying to land after flying, but even that gets old after the second or third time.


I often wonder why kids movies have to appeal to the lowest form of kid. Pixar movies are for kids and they are brilliant, but so often people think kids will only laugh at poop jokes and bad pratfalls. Until the day someone thinks to challenge a kid with a movie this is what we get and later this year we have an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie to look forward to! There is a way to make kids movies for everyone to enjoy, but this is certainly not it. It is not wonder that the writer went 5 years without getting a script made. Also, the son in this and his love interest look too far apart in age for me to believe it. He is about 16 or 17 and she is obviously 12 or 13 yrs old. It seems like such a little thing, but it really just led to me and my two co-workers to laugh AT it not WITH it. I an only hope this thing leaves quietly and quickly