The movie that began my enjoyment of watching Jason Statham driving and fighting was The Transporter. With its ridiculous action stunts (Statham used a cookie tray to deflect a rocket headed his way) I was totally hooked. Statham has gone on to make better movies (The Bank Job) and crazier movies (Crank) but it all begins The Transporter. The second installment pushed the crazy action stunts further (hoses were involved in a crazy fight)and I kind of figured the pg-13 actionfest was done. Much to be joyous surprise, Jason Statham had another one in him! Only this time it would be directed by a guy whose last name is Megaton. In the world of action movies, could there be a more perfect name for a director, I mean seriously!
Frank Martin(Statham) is a man of principals. He follows his rules for every job. He does not open the package, he drives his own car and no names are used. He has lived by this code and it has kept him alive in the dangerous world of driving packages. (Side note, where can I hire someone to do this kind of stuff?) He turned down a job and recommended someone else, well that someone else violently drives his car into Frank's house, where a lovely passenger(Natalya Rudakova) is knocked out cold. Frank is then kidnapped and now he has to deliver the package he refused earlier. There is a catch: If Frank goes 75 feet away from the car, a mechanism on his wrist will explode him and his car. The journey starts as any other, but soon, Frank will start to break his rules. He eventually realizes the girl is the package and he falls for the girl, although it is hard to see why, she is beyond obnoxious!
Transporter 3 is not a perfect action movie, but it is a solid one. It delivers Statham driving, fighting, looking stoic and manages to put Statham in numerous scenes where he is shirtless. What else can one want? The basic premise of the dangers involve the planet being harmed, as is the usual thing for villains to be after these days. It gets old having all of the villains after polluting the world, but I guess it is the times we live in. I am waiting for more horror movies based on characters who were deformed by waste in water! Statham is still looking mighty impressive in the muscular sense. he is ripped from stomach to neck and he is not afraid of getting down to please the ladies. The fight sequence where he is stripping to use his clothes as a weapon is funny, clever, interesting and pretty brutal, for a PG-13 action flick. Statham never takes himself too seriously and the movie follows suit, which keeps The Transporter from derailing.
Natalya is an oddly gorgeous action girl, but it is obvious she is not an actress. The story goes that Luc Besson (The Producer) saw her walking down the street and he recruited her for the movie, promising to give her acting lessons. I am not sure if it was as sleazy as it sounds, but the acting lessons did not pay off. Her character is supposed to be a whiny little club girl, I guess, but her line readings are so god-awful i just wanted it to stop! It is funny that she is sexy when the character is reacting, but when she is supposed to be the aggressor it is just silly. It is like watching Tina Fey give a lap dance. You know it is supposed to be sexy, but it is just awkward.
I have never expected much from Jason Statham movies and I am rarely disappointed (Damn you War). I got great action stunts, cool driving and sexy clothes. I should probably have higher standards, but sometimes I just want to watch something ridiculous and utterly impossible. Plus, I like to think that if I was in a car that was being shot at, I could drive it into the ocean and give the impression I was. Then, I could make the car float to the top, pull it out of the ocean, dry it off briefly and go on driving it!
Final Grade: C
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