Saw IV

Now usually I review movies here, but I found this thing on-line that is a transcription of two of the writers and thought I would just copy and paste it here because it is an interesting read. I did take the names out to protect the innocent (er..Guilty)


Guy 1: Well we stupidly killed Jigsaw in the last movie. How the hell did we get money to make a fourth one of these things?
Guy 2: I don't know, to be honest, but how do we keep this thing going? I mean our killer is dead.
Guy 1: Well logic has never mattered much before, so we should not let a little thing like death stop us.
guy 2: Good point. Okay, well I feel like we have both grown as writers so I think we should focus more on plot in this movie and less on the whole torture and killing stuff.
Guy 1: I was thinking the same thing. Also, I think we should start the movie at the end and it should be with a really gross exploitative autopsy of Jigsaw
Guy 2: Well duh, I mean we have to get the tape out of his stomach. He did swallow it at the end of Saw III right?
Guy 1: Oh I have no idea, you think I pay attention to what we are writing? You think I am going to see this god awful nonsense we write?
Guy 2: Good point. OK so we have already completely ignored the first movie as we tell this story, so we should continue that theme. Rigg(Lyriq Bent) will be the main guy here. He should have to go through a bunch of crazy games that Jigsaw will have conveniently taped before his death.
Guy 1: hmmm OK I like it. I like it, but we need the F.B.I this time and since we both love Gilmore Girls we should try and get Luke from that show (Scott Patterson).
Guy 2: Alright, well we want Jigsaw to be felt sorry for even more this time out, so not only does he have cancer and survive a brutal car accident, how about we flashback to his pregnant wife losing the baby because of some junky.
Guy 1: Oh totally. That way people will understand that Jigsaw is not a bad guy. he is just like Superman or Batman, he is out for justice and keeping the peace.
Guy 2: You don't actually believe that do you?
Guy 1: God no, but our audience consists of stupid 13 yr olds and stoned 20 yr olds, so who cares?
Guy 2: Alright, so we have a very good foundation for our script now. Rigg will have to run through the entire city, very quickly mind you because he doesn't have a car and he will outrun the F.BI guy even though the F.B.I have cars.
Guy 1: Also, We should kidnap his wife, but never ever once allow her to be seen again. She should not have anything resolved, just in case they have us make a 5th, 6th and 7th movie. We need to not resolve anything, ever. We need to aim for as messy and awful as possible. The audience demands bullshit and we will feed to them generously!
Guy 2: Oh the New Kids On The Block guy wanted to come back as well.
Guy 1: Didn't we kill him in the opening of the last movie?
Guy 2: Well sure, but we could just shoot a flashback scene where we see he didn't die. Man I am so glad Lost made flashback storytelling popular. It really helps us write out of impossible scenarios!
Guy 1: Agreed 100%. Okay well maybe we can have the NKOTB guy hanging the whole movie and have him all gross looking for the entire movie. He shouldn't talk until there are only like 20 minutes left and then he should just shout "Who's coming through the door" over and over and over again.
Guy 2: Wait who is coming through the door!?
Guy 1: See it works! HA!
Guy 2: Oh you sneaky bastard!
Guy 1: Focus dude, we need to finish off this story, but have a ridiculous, out of nowhere, stupid, over-the-top plot twist for the next movie. I mean it should really feel like there was no way it could have actually happened!
Guy 2: Ok well the end of the movie needs to be at the beginning remember
Guy 1: But that isn't possible with what we wrote. The new accomplice can't be alone in a room with Jigsaw because, remember we had him shut the door on the F.B.I guy and in that enclosed room was Jigsaw's body. We don't have an out for the F.B.I agent! Shit, we need to re-think this.
Guy 2: No we don't. You think our audience is going to be clever enough to figure out we had a giant enormous stupid avoidable mistake at the end of the movie? Remember as long as we have some gross traps and we have 5 of them they will believe anything we show and tell them. That is why we keep getting money to write these shitty ass movies. The fans are just too stupid to figure out we are raping art!
Guy 1: Well you do make a few very good points. So I think we are done, right?
Guy 2: Yeah but we should get started on Saw V now so we won't be rushed and that way we will not make these kinds of mistakes again...Nah, just kidding!
Guy 1: Wait I just thought of something, what about the guy who was searching for his daughter in the third movie?
Guy 2: Oh crap you are right! Ummm Oh I know, in the final 10 minutes when everyone is running around the giant warehouse, we will just plug him in there. Then someone can kill him for no good reason whatsoever.
Guy 1: Man you are brilliant!