Christina Aguilerra's "Back to basic" album review

In the early part of the this decade you were either a Britney person or a Christina person. You could not have it both ways. It was akin to liking both the Yankees and the Red Sox, not possible! I was emphatically a Britney person. Most people know that I was virtually obsessed with her. I never thought she was the more talented, but with a body like that I couldn't help but love her. Oh how the times have changed. While Britney Spears has become a bigger symbol for "white trash" than a trailer park, Christina has mostly stayed away from the tabloids and attempted to redefine herself as a "classical" jazz type singer and in doing so puts out a double album that both shines and disappoints.


Christina has two sides to her personality, she either wants to jump your bones or apologize to you. She is either an oversexed goddess or a depressed whimpering child. At least that's the impression you get from the album. Backed by jazzy horns and piano sounds Christina over sings her ass off and riffs up and down scales like she was at a musical theater audition. At times it sounds amazing and at times it just grates on your last nerve. She went and got the most respected producer in hip-hop history by the name of DJ Premier to produce 6 tracks and I was very anxious to hear how the mesh. On the disc's first single "Ain't no other man" they sound as if they have been making music for many many years but on "slow down baby" something sounds a bit off. Also on "thank you" Premier chops up some vocals from "genie in a bottle" that sounds like it is going to be amazing but in the end it fizzles, much like most of the disc.


If you like your Christina horny, you have-"Still dirrty", "Nasty naughty boy" and my personal favorite ode to nastiness "Candyman." If you like your somber gorgeous sounding Christina you have "Oh mother", "Without you" and what is probably the best Christina track I have ever heard "Hurt." There really is something for everyone here and there really isn't any denying the girl has got some serious vocal chops, unfortunately, she too often over powers what could have been a very beautiful track like the closing track "Mercy on me." If you are already a fan I am sure you will not be disappointed. Also if you like guilty pleasure lyrics like : "He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop He's a sweet talkin' sugar-coated candyman A sweet talkin' sugar-coated candyman " then I suggest you go out and get this bad boy!

Brick (spoilers)

It seemed like an interesting to combine a high school movie with the classic film noir, so I rented this weird little movie. After having seen it, I have to believe the director watched every single one of those old classic black and white noir genre films because this is picture perfect homage to those films. To me, that is a huge compliment and a nearly rave review in and of itself.


The movie is essentially about a high school trying to figure out what happened to his ex-girlfriend. Within the school there are gangs and even a 25 year old kingpin they just just call "The pin." Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as the main kid. He plays him as a brash, ready for anything, highly intelligent kid and it works on every level. Actually all of the acting in this thing is great. In reality, the real star of this movie is the writer/director, Rian Johnson. This movie is his first full length feature and he is amazing. He captures the essence of the way the older movies were filmed and adds genius touches to his characters. You do have to pay attention to the dialogue though because if you don't the characters sound like they are speaking strictly in non-sequitors and that can be a headache for trying to follow along.


If you can get through the kind of agonizing first 15 minutes I think you'll be in for quite a treat and I think this director should be in for quite the bright future because they all have to start somewhere!

World Trade Center

Its impossible to know whether America was ready for this movie, but it doesn't much matter because here it is. This movie along with United 93 are the reminders of the most horrible day in this Country. I guess one could argue between this and Pearl Harbor, but that would be one stupid argument. Where United 93 told the story of those in the air this tells the story of those on ground. The movie's tag line tells us it is the the story of two men, but that is a gross understatement. This is a movie about those 2 men, yes, but it is also about their families, friends and everyone involved in finding them. For those of you unaware of the plot here it is: 2 police officers are trapped in the rubble of the World Trade Centers and they are trying to keep each other awake until they can be found. They never give up hope and in the end they are saved.


The movie stars Nic Cage and Michael Pena as the two cops and Maria Bello and Maggie Gylenhall as their wives. My first concern with this movie before seeing it was that having a big name star like Nic Cage would lessen the realism, but I was wrong. In fact, Oliver Stone manages the giant massive topic with an undeniable intimacy. The movie is far from perfect but it isn't easy to criticize a movie that is such a tribute to the fighting human spirit. This movie isn't really for us though, it is for the future generations of people who weren't around for this tragedy. It is so we can avoid having a movie like Pearl Harbor. When you come out of the theater you want to find the nearest cop or fireman and shake their hand. You want to help someone less fortunate than you. It isn't as good of a movie as United 93 because it has some script flaws and a bit of that normal Nic Cage over acting screaming thing but it doesn't much matter. The movie wants us to feel something and I did. Everyone in the theater had tears in their eyes as we exited the building and no one was talking.


Perhaps it is too soon for this day to be revisited, but since they have gone ahead and done it, I urge everyone to rent this movie and rent United 93. However, not at the same time because that would just be too much. When you do get passed the not so good acting from the usually reliable Marria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhall and get to the core of watching these two guys, facing certain death, fight to stay alive for their families. Watch as people search and watch as hundreds of fire fighters and cops come together to save 20 people. I don't think you will be disappointed

Pulse (spoilers)

In movie number two, we have the most typical movie of the new wave of horror movies. If you don't know what I mean just go Watch this movie and you will find out what every single one of these movies is about. Yes, it is another tired Japanese horror movie with the same kind of effects and same kind of ghosts or spirits. I want to say something about this one sets it apart from the others, but in reality the thing that sets it apart, also makes it the most ridiculous. Where most of the movies (ring, grudge or white noise) deal with specific people, Pulse ends up on a massive scale where the entire U.S is dealt some sort of apocalypse. Yes, it is that over the top, complete with abandoned cities and burning jets. The ultimate "message" is that our reliance on technology will destroy us all by allowing some unknown entity to suck the life out of everyone it scream over.


Kristin Bell (Veronica Mars) is a lovely girl and a terrific actress, yet here she is slumming it as a joyless college student whose boyfriend has just killed himself. Luckily for her, she has Ian Somerholder (T.V's Lost) to help her. Also lucky, that Ian is a low life who happens to know everything about computers. The only two things in this movie that illicit any sort of emotion besides laughter are the video Ian and Kristin watch and then the cool ending down into he main server room in the basement of an apartment building. Everything else in this horrid movie are basically laughable, which is exactly what I wanted! This movie is a mess of such massive proportions that one can't help but be amused. Christina Milian, in all her sexy bodied glory, acts particularly horrible as she nears her demise.


To be perfectly honest, the better movie would have been a movie about the after effects of such a "Pulse." show us how people live without phones, TV's or computers. I would want to see that movie. A movie about dead zones and a new America where the people have to live like people did before all of the amazing technological advances we have made. It wouldn't be a horror movie but at least it would be different. I was shocked to see that Wes Craven helped doctor this script and it made me sad that he has been reduced to this. I can only hope this isn't the norm for him these days.

Accepted

In the final movie of a three movie day, Justin Long stars as a slacker with some serious B.S ability, who is rejected to all the schools he applies to, so he decides to just make one up. He and his friends, in an attempt to fool some parents buy some property and fix it up so at a quick glance it looks like a real school. Unfortunately, they made their website a bit too functional and soon they have a student body of over 300 students. 300 other losers or outcasts rejected by everyone. We have strippers, skaters, artsy types all those other other stereotypes that make up the high school nerd core. Of course it is all highly illegal and well we all know how these movies end, happily ever after. I guess if I was a real reviewer I'd say something like Accepted makes the grade or something cheey like that but I will just say that this movie provides enough laughs to take one away from reality.


The movie works mostly thanks to the above mentioned star. Justin has now perfected that intelligent, quick tongued nerd he started on the TV show ED a few years back. He has the perfect charm to fool everyone into believing it is a real school as well as subtle, sly humor to make the lines hit perfectly. Whether he is calling the rival school preppie student by some stereotypical name like "Thad" "Gunther" or "Floyd" or as he gives quiet the lengthy monologue at the end to convince the board of education to accredit his school, He never misses his mark. The supporting players work as well. Jonah Hill, fresh off of his scene stealing part as the E-bay customer from The 40 yr old virgin summons me as the fat wisecracking friend. He has some of the funniest lines towards the beginning of the film and also has the line that got the most laughs from my frat boy sorority girl audience members. And of course it wouldn't be this kind of movie if our lead nerd didn't get some gorgeous girl in the end and in this movie that gorgeous girl is in the form of Blake Lively, whom I sadly was able to identify as the hottie soccer player from The sister hood of the traveling pants. She isn't going to win any Oscars in her life, but she sure can light the camera up when she smiles and when she dances around under sprinklers. Another added bonus to this movie is Lewis Black. Here he is in his full manic, about to have a heart attack rambling, basically playing himself. His first scene where he is berating a child at a shoe store is vintage Lewis Black and he certainly adds something to the movie.


Accepted doesn't have huge laughing moments but it has good laughs sprinkled throughout. It is not going to be heavily quoted for years and it probably won't be talked about at water coolers, but I think that's fitting for the movie about rejecting rejection. Some of the lines may just go over the heads of all those Will Ferrell fans who need an ugly near naked man running around in order to find humor. Justin Long, like Ryan Reynolds, keep plugging along perfection his schtik and hopefully soon bigger movies will come calling for him because he does deserve it!

Second Rounds on me (Obie Trice album)

A few years back when Obie Trice dropped his first CD "Cheers" he made the mistake of following a bit to closely to Mentor Eminem's formula for success. He dropped a very cheesy lead single. I think he suffered some from it because people mostly overlooked how talented he really was. This time out Obie is not to be confused for his pale mentor. Obie brings it in that raw Detroit style almost from beginning to end on this one and more often then not he connects with full force!


after dropping the anti snitching song "Snitch" as his lead single he drops "cry now" as single number two and doesn't disappoint with lyrics like: "Hip-Hop's my fate, since cassette tapes I've embraced what you know of, as this nigga's culture Put it in a chokehold, spoke as a soldier (soldier)Yet you provoke him to pull up out his holster leave you wit a visible ulcer, ogle off yaNiggaz alter what he lyrically offers". Obie keeps it gutter on various tracks such as "Violent" and "kill me a mutha." Like Marshall Mathers Obie can switch flows with the best of them. On "out of state" he drops an almost frantic southern bounce flow over a "breezy drum heavy beat that sounds like it could be produced by Dr. Dre himself.


He can also take it to the club for those of people who like things like what with the Nate dogg assisted "all of my life" and his voice sets him apart from your typical club track. However where Obie truly shines is when he pours out his soul and lets the listener into his life. Luckily for us we get 3 tracks like that on this disc. "Mama" is a track about his mother, which he had onto he last CD but this is a much light, less bitter track but where he really gets the listener is the discs closing track entitled "Obie's story." He tells of his life up to this point and how he got where he got. This is the kind of hip-hop I love to listen to. Anyone can rap about guns and drugs but tell me something about you as a person and Obie is flawless when he lets us in and even better when he closes the disc with this: "Gotta end it though I'm all in it, there's no limits And it's so splendid real names, no gimmicks no image, just a soldier who spoke what he lived From the ribs with it, the flows vintage Obie gotta do this for real"


This is the best mainstream in the hip-hop genre of the year thus far. Not that that's a hard thing to be but Obie came back proving he is talented and proving he isn't just riding the coattails of Mr Slim Shady. In fact, Marshall rides in the back seat on this one. He produces a few tracks and they actually sound better than the average Shady produced track and he only raps on one track with some Xzibit soundalike named Big Herc.

Snakes on a plane

Most of the reviews of this movie are likely to start with the amount of hype and then ask the question "but is it any good?" Then they'll go on to tell you things like its campy or unintentional hilarious. I guess by mentioning that, I kind of fell into that same trap. Oh well, every so often i like to follow the norm.


Sam Jackson is a screen legend to me. His movies combined have made more money than any other movie star in the history of cinema. Look it up, I don't lie! So what would convince a man of that stature to do a movie that is so obviously cheesy. The real question is why wouldn't he want to star in a movie that is so obviously cheesy. We as audience members have to sit through about 10 minutes worth of movie before we ge tour first glimpse of the oh so cool Mr Jackson, Gat in hand, coolly telling the kid "listen to me and you live." Of course, the real movie doesn't begin until the plane is in the air. We are introduced to a variety of horribly cliched characters- the black rapper, a white Paris Hiltonesque type and an Asian kick boxer. We have a disgusting co-pilot and a seemingly gay male flight attendant. Oscar worthy, it isn't but what happens next is a damn good time.


The snakes are unleashed, interspersed with a painfully gratuitous female nude scene (not that i am complaining)and the next 45 minutes are a non stop barrage of snake bites and deaths. Snakes bite breasts, eyes, necks, ears and in a laugh out loud moment, one attaches itself to a penis. You know its coming but you can't help but cringe and laugh all at the same time. Some people die instantly, while some are just poisoned, left to die later. All of the while, you are on the edge of your seat just waiting to see what the hell is going to happen next. Luckily for us, what happens next is Sam Jackson lays the smack down on their collective slithery asses!!


Mostly, you sit and wait for Sam Jackson to swear and act like the bad ass he is. This movie is the perfect mix of camp and scare. The movie appears blissfully aware of the big joke the movie was supposed to be and it plays off as super summer fun. By the time Mr. Jackson gets to the line everyone is waiting for, I was teetering at the edge of my seat almost bubbling over with giddy fanboy excitement and he did not disappoint!!

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (spoilers)

This is a movie that knows its a movie. What does that mean? It means Robert Downey Jr. Narrates the movie as if he knows its a movie. He tell the audience to pay attention closely to a certain scene that will be important later and the film ends with Val Kilmer and Robert Downey doing a sort of good bye to the camera. Its not your average crime caper and with the exception of one stupid bit the movie succeeds on all levels.


Downey stars as Harry, a low level criminal who accidentally lands at an acting audition and gets jetted to Los Angeles to have a real screen Test. Val Kilmer plays a gay Private eye who goes by the name "Gay Perry" and Michelle Monaghan plays a wannabe actress who gets her break after a producer sees her on news story because an out of work actor still in his robot suit broke into her house. Lost, yet? Well that's just the beginning fo this highly unusual yet incredibly tight, fast and witty movie. Characters are berated for not knowing how to use Adverbs correctly and everytime you think you finally understand they throw a new random twist at you.


Here is just a sample of the dialogue:


Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of idiot. Which you fucking are!


Not genius but its fast funny and better than a lot of the recent movies. The movie has flashes of the usual-Pulp Fiction, Usual Suspects with quick cuts and time shirting but it never plays like a rip off. The acting from the two guys is great as usual. It is sad we don't get Val Kilmer in more movies and that Robert Downey Jr is often educed to a second banana lately.


My one complaint would be the finger thing. The character loses his finger and eventually a dog swallows it. It was below the jokes the movie gave us throughout and felt way cheap. Other than that it was an enjoyable 100 minutes and gives the audience a real mystery to try and solve, where you don't have it figured out right from the beginning.

Inside Man (spoilers)

With Denzel Washington, Clive Owen and Jodie Foster starring and Spike Lee directing, one who suspect this movie would be a home run. There should be no question about that, right? Wrong! This movie is not a home run. It is a double with no one on. This is an example of talented people wasting their talents on something that just doesn't measure up.


Yes, the acting is mostly amazing. However, i am not sure the true point of Jodie Foster's character, except to annoy me with her weird voice. I don't remember that barely audible whispering in silence of the lambs. Denzel needs to play something other than a cop soon but here he is really quite excellent. He keeps up the mannerisms of the character throughout the film, but gets kind of sucked into convoluted secondary plots. Clive Owen is remarkable, as always. He doesn't emote much in this and reminded me a bit of the character he played in Sin City. He just is always in control and always looks cool. He is the bad guy yet you root for him the entire movie.


The bank robbery plot is nothing new and in fact this movie mentions the most famous bank robbery movie "Dog Day Afternoon." The writer did create an impressive new method of hostage taking that made the movie better than it should have been because the script was just weak and the secondary plots could have been done away with. That may have been the biggest issue, that these secondary things came from out of nowhere and never really resolved. I enjoyed the idea of the robbers making everyone dress like them so in the end when the cops caught them no one really knew anything. It was clever, but not clever enough to save the dialogue. I think this is Spike Lee's first real attempt to make a fully mainstream film and he assembled the right talent for the endeavor but something was missing. I guess there wasn't any real suspense in the movie. You pretty much knew what was going to happen a bit before it actually happened. I had high hopes for a Denzel and Clive scene and luckily their scene together was just as I had hoped but overall the pacing was off and it just didn't go anywhere.

Jurassic 5 "Feedback" album review

When you hear the word Jurassic, one usually thinks of something old. Very old. That usually isn't a good thing either, however Jurassic 5 is a hip-hop group that has consistently prided itself in old school sounds but making them sound fresh. The quintet, from Los Angeles have been knocking on the door of the mainstream for a few years now but seem hell bent on knocking the door down with their brand new disc. That of course can be a good and a bad thing and here it is a bit of both. In the end the good outshines the bad though.


A few weeks ago they released their first single, "work it out" featuring the Dave Matthews Band, proving that they want that mainstream success. Unfortunately it is one of the disc's weakest songs. It lacks the freshness and energy that usually lace J5 songs. DMB sounds good with J5 but this track doesn't feel right. It feels forced and J5 should never sound forced. Their Barbershop quartet type song hooks are usually boisterous and give the listener something to vibe too. Luckily they make up for it elsewhere. The other major complaint here is the lack of topics covered. There are a few too many girl related tracks like "Brown Girl" and "baby please(sick AL green sample though)". While the production on those tracks sound fresh and the flow is impeccable, the content just feels rehashed.


Luckily this disc is jam packed with really dope fresh sounding production and other great concepts. "where we at" is a trip down hip-hop memory lane and "end up like this" kind of gives us a glimpse into how J5 started and how they keep going. Other stand out tracks for me include "red Hot" "Gotta Understand" "In the House" and the closing track which features no vocals only really dope djing called "Canto De Ossanha" lyrically this disc lacks the depth of their 2002 release Power in Numbers and their debut album Quality control and to be honest they do nothing new here. They seem to have gotten content in where they are in regards to lyrical content. I definitely think this album is worth the pick up, if just to hear how they managed to sound old school yet fresh at the same time. Plus, this kind of rap music should be getting heard, not the garbage infesting the radios and skewing the world's view of the music and the culture surrounding the music!

Pharrell Williams "In my mind" album review

After months and months of delays Pharrell's maiden voyage into solo artistry hit the seas a few weeks back and unfortunates it is a rocky voyage. The CD is 50% rap, 50% R&B and 100% disappointing. Actually that may be a bit much because there are a few stand out tracks but overall it is mired in mediocrocy and a lack of soul.


The disc starts srong, giving the listener hope that this 16 track disc will have been worth the wait. The lead cut is the lead single "can I have it like that." When that song burst onto radios at the end of last year it burned up urban radio. The call and response hook featuring the lovely Gwen Stefani was simple and catchy and the production was on point. The second track "How does it feel" also captures the crisp production most people have come to expect from Pharrell. The only other track where the production really shines "Baby" is unfortunately ruined by terribly weak falsetto singing and an uninspired cameo by Nelly. Which brings me to my next issue with this disc: With all this industry muscle Pharrell has acquired by being half of the monster producing team The Neptunes, you'd think he could bring out the big guns talent wise when it comes to guest appearances. Instead we get Snoop Dogg, Nelly and slim Thug. Even the Jay-Z verse can't save the mess that is "Young Girl" and one would think the pairing of Pharrell and Kanye West would give us a blockbuster of astronomical proportions but instead Pharrell uses a throw-away beat, sings off key and Kanye West phones it in with one of his now trademark weak verses bragging about amazing he is.


Pharrell has talent. He has been writing songs and making hits for over a decade now and is responsible for jump starting careers. Recently he has been making waves as a rapper, outshinging Snoop dogg on "drop it like its hot" but here there is almost nothing worthwhile. The whole thing feels thrown together which makes no sense due to the 8 months of pushbacks. I love when he fronts N.E.R.D and i can even listen to him singing hooks on all those number 1 singles he produced but here he just comes off as a Michael Jackson rip-off. We know Pharrell doesn't sell drugs or shoot guns yet he tries his hand at gangsta posturing more than once on this disc. I had high hopes for this thing but i guess i want him to stick to the rock style rap singing of N.E.R.D. Do yourself a favor and download "Can I have it like that" "How does it feel" and "raspy shit" and then passing on the rest of this thing.

The Oh in Ohio(spoilers)

A movie about a woman who has never had an orgasm should either be very hilarious or very depressing, this movie is supposed to be very hilarious but never quite reaches its peak. Parker Posey stars as a very driven woman who is taking the Cleveland business world by storm and at night goes home to her high school teacher husband played by Paul Rudd. Her inability to orgasm does not seem to bother her in any way, yet it has made Paul Rudd miserable. We are told that he used to be one of the best teachers and one of the most liked, but now he is depressed and morbid with unkempt facial hair.


While the focus of the movie is Parker Posey's character, the real star is Rudd. He shines here as the morose oft neglected husband who finds his solace in Mischa Barton. A student whose life he changed a few years back by being an awesome teacher. Now it is her turn to "fix" him. They begin a sexual affair and Rudd reclaims his manhood by being an amazing sexual partner to her. Now I usually find Barton to be too skinny to be attractive and her acting is usually worse than those paper bag fandango puppets, although here she is actually capable. However, not at all believable as a Harvard bound biology student. Rudd's best friend and co-worker, played by Keith David is the only other semi bright spot in this disastrous mess. He is hilarious in his "pep talks" and in describing his sex life.


The feeling I had the most while watching this movie was that of discomfort. Parker Posey is asked to do horrid things into he name of comedy, which is normal for a comedian but here it is not funny. She has 128 orgasms in a week with the help of a vibrator but it is never funny or satisfying to watch. She slides her pager inside herself to see if that works after trying to rid herself of her addiction to the vibrator and that doesn't play as funny either. The whole thing plays as embarrassing. To add insult to injury, we are supposed to believe Danny Devito as her sexual awakening. Devito's character has created this unrealistic magical water slide that is used as the euphemism for her sexual awakening. Yes that Danny Devito. The jokes hit about 35% to 40% of the time and that is usually with Rudd on screen. If you want to watch Parker Posey's continued descent into being a bad actress (Blade:trinity and Superman returns) than perhaps you'll want to see it, or if you have interest in dialogue that uses pools as metaphors for life than you too may also be interested. I, however was not interested or entertained.

The Descent(spoilers)

When it comes to Horror movies, I almost cannot lose. I love the good ones and love the horrid ones. Luckily for me, The Descent is both of them. The movie is about 6 females craving adventure, so they go cave diving. Once inside the cave they deal with a few near death experiences, lots of blood and a ton of intensity and that's all before the "crawlers" enter the picture. The first half hour of this movie is pretty pointless. I can't really come up with a legit reason why it is included except to add a few real cheap scares. For those of unaware of what a cheap scare is I shall explain it; A cheap scare is when it gets real quiet and still and then it is followed by a very loud sound and quick motion. It is cheap because what person wouldn't jump at something like that. Luckily this film isn't based around the cheap scares most horror films today are.


This movie pretty owes everything to the camera work and the sound. The camera work is full of close ups which put the viewer right into he action of the film. You can hear the water dripping of the cave and hear the breathing with such clarity that you feel like you are in these caves experiencing the claustrophobia with the girls. That is by far the strength of it. My heart was racing for most of the movie because you really feel like you are part of the action. Also, "the crawlers" were very freaky looking and their disjointed movements enhanced by quick cuts and clever editing brought a different feel from most monster movies.


However, it is not without its faults. First of all, the acting is just crappy. I wish I could think of a better word, but crappy is just what fits. The only girl who manages any sort of acting ability is the Asian with the amazing arms. Her sense of bloodlust contrasting with her desire to live is the only thing that really registers as characterization throughout the movie. Also, the movie just gets too long. I liked the cave stuff before the "crawlers" and I enjoyed a bit of the "crawler" stuff but it seems like the director just lost control of it. It seemed like he got into this idea of women who would rather fight as opposed to running and it gets away from him. The ending works and the kind of twist it takes really gives a pessimistic view of the human condition , but also works as a sort of survival of the fittest thing.


Since it is a horror movie it has more than its fair share of blood and it is very effective. We get our first sight of blood when one of the girls gets her hand sliced open by a speeding by rope and the blood just gushes out of her hand, but that is merely the appetizer to a much bigger blood meal. My personal favorite was when the tom-boy looking girl takes a nasty fall, snapping her leg to the point where we see bone poking out. Of course after that we have to see and hear the bone being pushed back into place in another gross out scene. By the end most of the people are covered in blood, whether it be human or "crawler" blood. Overall this is a great cult horror movie and worlds better than a lot of what is passing for horror these days!

Clerks 2 (spoilers, I guess)

For 12 years I have waited for more of Dante Hicks and Randall Graves. Don't get me wrong, Kevin Smith has made some great movies (Dogma, Chasing Amy) some very good movies (Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) and one terrible movie (Jersey Girl) but Clerks was his opus. Clerks changed the way dialogue was written in indie films. Along with Tarentino, Smith revolutionized the indie scene. With his nerdy banter and amazing diatribe, Smith's characters sound intelligent, even when talking about the most sophomoric of topics. In this film he creates what I think is his single best movie. He takes what he did in Clerks and adds 12 years worth of experience and out comes the funniest movie I have seen in a few years, yes funnier than Wedding Crashers and 40 year old virgin. However, you might get shot if you try quoting some of the best lines.


Dante and Randall still don't do much, but now they work at a fast food joint and have a teenage co-worker to pick on and a hottie boss in the form of Rosario Dawson. I could go into the plot but honestly, with Smith films the plot is basically secondary. The dialogue in this film is unlike anything I have ever heard. Who else is going to write a 5 minute section of dialogue about which trilogy is better, Lord of the Rings or Star Wars (it's lord of the rings by the way). Who else is going to be concerned with a character whose sole purpose in life seems to be Transformers. By the way, Trevor Fehrman who plays the nerdy kid is the perfect foil to Randall's monologues about Satan and sex.


This movie is obviously not for everyone with its racism, beastiality or "interspecies eroticism" and constant references to sexual acts but like the 40 year old virgin or South Park, it is a dumb comedy for the smart people. The acting is worlds better in this one. The two leads, who aren't really actors, found a way to actually emote in this bad boy. Jay and Silent Bob are fresh out of rehab and Jay has turned his life to God, however he still sells weed. The movie is basically a commentary on everything nerdy and slacker-esque in the world. It is a movie for comic book and movie nerds. It is a movie that made Erik laugh out loud on numerous occasions and that never happens! This movie also has a point. A point that is made brilliantly by its two leads as they sit in a jail cell. The conversation between the two friends has some very honest writing and feels very similar to an Aaron Sorkin Script, proving to me that Smith doesn't always have to be funny to be effective.


this seems to cap a period of film making for Smith. He bookends the Jay and Silent Bob type era with 2 Clerk's movies. Who knows where he will go from here. Hopefully not with the mis-step that was Jersey Girl. Whatever he chooses to do, hopefully he sticks a few more nerd type references and may "pillow pants" live forever. Oh and for those of us who remember Clerks, he gives us a nice "wink wink" at the very end!

Grandma's boy

After a full week of listening to my co-worker tell me I needed to watch this movie, I gave in. He bought it and forced me to borrow it. This is a movie about a pot smoking, video game tester, who is 35 years old and is a slacker. This seems to be pretty common fare for movies these day, especially coming from the ever annoying Adam Sandler camp. The movie has high and horny old women, a monkey that knows karate, a guy who thinks he is a robot and plenty of video games and nerdy virgins. Oh and it is not at all funny!


I had hoped that at least I would get about 4 good laughs out of this abomination of a movie, but I managed 2 real laughs and 4 chuckles. Of course, the lead girl is a hot girl who loves video games and also does Kareoke to Salt & Pepa (the highlight of the movie). Kevin Nealon, Duece Bigelow and David Spade all make incredibly embarrassing cameos and not a single person comes out of this movie unscathed.


The movie was written by one of Adam Sandler's flunkies and stand up comedian Nick Swardson and it shows an absolute lack of putting together a movie. This is actually a problem with a lot of comedies lately. They are SNL sketches that just keep going and going. Look at Nacho Libre or the upcoming Will Ferrell suckfest. They are all thin thin movies hoping to bank on the fact that the audience just expects their stars to be funny and therefore laugh at everything, which isn't saying much for the people watching movies!