I cannot be counted among the millions of people of have one time or another been a huge fan of the Simpsons. I never really understood why so many found it to be so funny and after South Park and Family Guy started I couldn't understand why people still watched it. Outside of the special Halloween episodes and the countless amount of big name guest stars, I just never saw the appeal of it, so I wasn't particularly interested in a big screen adaptation that seemed about 10 yrs too late to begin with. However, the trailer had a few funny bits and with the promise of seeing the first teaser for The Dark Knight, I decided I was in. So, am I now a Simpsons fan? Do I now understand why so many people love Homer, Bart and all the others? Well read on to find out.
I shall begin with what little story there is in this thing. The story centers around Homer, the clueless Patriarch of this insane family. He won't listen to his wife and he humiliates his son at every possible turn. Now, he has caused Springfield to be put in a giant bubble due to the insane pollution in the city and he is also going to be responsible when Springfield gets blown up and it is up to him to save it and prove to his family and friends that he is worth their time, love and effort. Not a very interesting story if you ask me, which is where this movie starts to fall. The basic story just doesn't grab my attention so I must rely on all the bits to hold my attention and this movie starts of strongly with the bits but as the movie delves further into pushing the plot forward the bits get less and less funny.
The bits begin during the opening credits as Homer insults us for paying to see the movie of something we can watch on T.V for free. We get a pretty hilarious Itchy and Scratchy "movie" and then we are off to our actual movies. Homer and Bart are on the roof and Homer hits himself with a hammer and it causes Bart to trade dares with his dad. Bart eventually is skateboarding through Springfield naked relying on a bunch of sight gags that were more creative and more effective in Austin Powers, using every day objects to hide a naked body part. The joke eventually becomes that we get an actual shot of Bart's penis. Bart gets arrested and tied to a tree while naked and Homer doesn't do anything to help. This is what leads Bart to thinking Flanders might just be a better father. Add to the mix that Homer has a new pet pig (the best bit in the movie is "spider-pig") and doesn't know where to put the pig crap, so he creates a giant Silo to put the crap in. When it fills up he dumps it in the lake and it erupts into a giant toxic wasteland. Oh and Lisa is up to her usual wanting to save the planet business, but now she has a love interest.
Most of the side characters are not written into the movie much and it is a bit mind boggling because this show is successful because of its quirky characters. Also, only one big name celebrity voice shows up and while it is totally worth it, I just expected more. I really thought the first 30 to 40 minutes of side gags worked. I laughed when FOX promoted a show, even during the movie and I thought some of the other side stuff worked, but after a while I was just over the whole thing. This movie didn't take the risks South Park took when it went to the big screen and so it seems like just an inflated Simpsons episode and wasn't really worthy of a movie version. Maybe the show is funny in 20 minute segments, but this movie does not do anything to convince I should even waste my time trying to watch it. Oh and the Dark Knight trailer wasn't even attached!
Monday, August 06, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Hairspray
The new wave of musicals seem to fit in one of two catergories- Really good or really bad. Chicago and Dreamgirls are considered among the former and Rent and The Producers the latter. I happen to think Chicago and Dreamgirls are very overrated and Rent not nearly as bad as others, so with the rave reviews for Hairspray pouring in, I wasn't sure what to expect. Add to that, I thought John Travolta was painfully miscast and I was very hesitant coming into this thing. I also think the original movie is not at all this brilliant little movie like people claim because John Waters (the director) is not at all talented and the movie is mostly only known for thrusting Rikki Lake into the mainstream and for having a cross dresser play the mother, but actually play her as a mother and not as a guy in drag.
Tracy Turnblad(newcomer Nikki Blonsky) is a chubby and short teenager in the 1960's who loves to dance. She is a dreamer and a believer that people are ultimately good. She is a dedicated fan of a TV show called "The Corny Collins Show." It is some sort of American bandstand and Mickey Mouse Club like show featuring teens who sing and dance. With one of the girls leaving for 9 months a spot opens up and Tracy wants it. At the audition she gets to see Link Larkin (Zac Efron in his big screen debut), a teenage heart throb, in person but due to the mother daughter combination of Velma and Amber Von Tussel (Michelle Pfeiffer and Brittany Snow) she does not get the part. Because of her unbelievable spirit she doesn't get too down on herself and instead spends her extra time in detention learning some new "negro" dance moves thanks to Seaweed (Elijah Kelly, another screen debut). Tracy's mother, Edna(John Travolta) is a big woman who is afraid of the outside world and her father, Wilbur (Christopher Walken) is a joke store owner who wants his daughter to chase her dreams.
Tracy gets her chance to show Corny Collins (James Marsden) how well she moves and gets a spot on the show. She is quickly a favorite on the show and with a pageant coming up, Velma needs to assure that her daughter will win. Undercut in this story is a little history lesson about the black and white divide. Once a month the Corny Collins show has a "negro day." This day is hosted by Motormouth Maybelle (Queen Latifah) and features black singers and dancers. Tracy wants full integration and when Negro day is cancelled, the blacks picket and Tracy joins them. Tracy's talent and undeniable spirit lead Link to rethink what is important and eventually claims "Tracy I'm in love with you no matter what you weigh." It is a musical so things do work out in the end including a mixed couple of Seaweed and Tracy's best friend, Penny (A particularly adorable yet sexy, Amanda Bynes), whose mother believes everything is the devil.
This movie is bursting at the seams with the kind of energy rarely seen on the big screen. The songs flow with the script and transition well out fo them, not lingering for some non existent awkward applause that seems to curse most of these movie musicals. The newcomers are all crazy talented- especially Nikki Blonsky and Elijah Kelly. Blonsky's Tracy is a firecracker of a girl and while her short chubby T-Rex like arms sometimes make the dances look weird, she carries herself very well and moves very well in the movie. She seems unafraid of acting opposite Oscar nominees and probably brought something out in them. Kelly's Seaweed is just spectacular to watch as his voice soars and his dances seem effortless. His obvious charm will most likely make him a star somewhere and as some of you know, I am prone to man-crushes and it seems as if I can add Zac Effron to that list. He is a very funny, cocky but deep Link Larkin. He moves well sings well, but his look is just picture perfect for Link. When I saw it, teenage girls swooned every time he winked. Walken and Pfeiffer both have great moments and it is nice to see them both letting loose and having fun on screen.
However, the biggest surprise for me was John Travolta. I thought he was going to be the downfall of this movie, but once you get passed the hideous face and the awkward accent/voice, Travolta makes Edna a very sympathetic character. He finds the sweet innocence and the overwhelming self doubt within the character and when he gets to dance, oh it is like he has been dying to dance on screen again. I can't imagine dancing in heels is easy, but when it is heels and a fat suit, just wow. He won me over pretty early in the film and just continued to find fun things in Edna. He goes a different direction than intended and I liked it better. Instead of playing it like a man dressed as a woman, he tried very hard to find something matronly within himself and pulled it off. During "You can't stop the beat" when he gets up to sing and dance, the audiences erupted in a mix of cheers and laughter and watching him get his Tina Turner on in a sequence dress is worth the price of admission in itself.
The message of the movie is nice and is made in two single moments towards the end during "You can't stop the beat." First of all Link brings a little black girl out to dance with him on national television and then the best acting moment in the movie and it really is just a moment is when Corny Collins, an incredibly hilarious and perfect Marsden, tells Velma 'This is the future" before grabbing Motormouth and letting her shine on TV. It is such a small moment but it really shows just how good of an actor Marsden is, with just one sentence and one look, I nearly had tears in my eyes. But, the point of this movie is to have fun, no matter who you are and it accomplishes it in spades! Some of the existing musical numbers are gone and two new ones are added in their place and the unfolding events have changed a bit from the musical, but they didn't bother me once. When this movie was over I was very much ready to watch it again because it is just that much fun. The dances don't seem overly complicated but when done in perfect unison that are impressive and while Latifah lacks the raw power of the Motormouth from Broadway, her voice has a sincerity and attitude in it that make "I know Where I've been" a moving number, even if the montage seems a bit overdone.
It is not without knowing its history either as John Waters, Rikki Lake and Jerry Stiller all show up for brief cameos and during the credits "Mama I'm a big girl now" plays and it is being sung by Nikki Blonksy, Rikki Lake and the girl who originated it on Broadway. This has quickly become my favorite of the new wave of translating stage musicals into movies and if you aren't having fun at this movie, something may just be wrong with you!
Tracy Turnblad(newcomer Nikki Blonsky) is a chubby and short teenager in the 1960's who loves to dance. She is a dreamer and a believer that people are ultimately good. She is a dedicated fan of a TV show called "The Corny Collins Show." It is some sort of American bandstand and Mickey Mouse Club like show featuring teens who sing and dance. With one of the girls leaving for 9 months a spot opens up and Tracy wants it. At the audition she gets to see Link Larkin (Zac Efron in his big screen debut), a teenage heart throb, in person but due to the mother daughter combination of Velma and Amber Von Tussel (Michelle Pfeiffer and Brittany Snow) she does not get the part. Because of her unbelievable spirit she doesn't get too down on herself and instead spends her extra time in detention learning some new "negro" dance moves thanks to Seaweed (Elijah Kelly, another screen debut). Tracy's mother, Edna(John Travolta) is a big woman who is afraid of the outside world and her father, Wilbur (Christopher Walken) is a joke store owner who wants his daughter to chase her dreams.
Tracy gets her chance to show Corny Collins (James Marsden) how well she moves and gets a spot on the show. She is quickly a favorite on the show and with a pageant coming up, Velma needs to assure that her daughter will win. Undercut in this story is a little history lesson about the black and white divide. Once a month the Corny Collins show has a "negro day." This day is hosted by Motormouth Maybelle (Queen Latifah) and features black singers and dancers. Tracy wants full integration and when Negro day is cancelled, the blacks picket and Tracy joins them. Tracy's talent and undeniable spirit lead Link to rethink what is important and eventually claims "Tracy I'm in love with you no matter what you weigh." It is a musical so things do work out in the end including a mixed couple of Seaweed and Tracy's best friend, Penny (A particularly adorable yet sexy, Amanda Bynes), whose mother believes everything is the devil.
This movie is bursting at the seams with the kind of energy rarely seen on the big screen. The songs flow with the script and transition well out fo them, not lingering for some non existent awkward applause that seems to curse most of these movie musicals. The newcomers are all crazy talented- especially Nikki Blonsky and Elijah Kelly. Blonsky's Tracy is a firecracker of a girl and while her short chubby T-Rex like arms sometimes make the dances look weird, she carries herself very well and moves very well in the movie. She seems unafraid of acting opposite Oscar nominees and probably brought something out in them. Kelly's Seaweed is just spectacular to watch as his voice soars and his dances seem effortless. His obvious charm will most likely make him a star somewhere and as some of you know, I am prone to man-crushes and it seems as if I can add Zac Effron to that list. He is a very funny, cocky but deep Link Larkin. He moves well sings well, but his look is just picture perfect for Link. When I saw it, teenage girls swooned every time he winked. Walken and Pfeiffer both have great moments and it is nice to see them both letting loose and having fun on screen.
However, the biggest surprise for me was John Travolta. I thought he was going to be the downfall of this movie, but once you get passed the hideous face and the awkward accent/voice, Travolta makes Edna a very sympathetic character. He finds the sweet innocence and the overwhelming self doubt within the character and when he gets to dance, oh it is like he has been dying to dance on screen again. I can't imagine dancing in heels is easy, but when it is heels and a fat suit, just wow. He won me over pretty early in the film and just continued to find fun things in Edna. He goes a different direction than intended and I liked it better. Instead of playing it like a man dressed as a woman, he tried very hard to find something matronly within himself and pulled it off. During "You can't stop the beat" when he gets up to sing and dance, the audiences erupted in a mix of cheers and laughter and watching him get his Tina Turner on in a sequence dress is worth the price of admission in itself.
The message of the movie is nice and is made in two single moments towards the end during "You can't stop the beat." First of all Link brings a little black girl out to dance with him on national television and then the best acting moment in the movie and it really is just a moment is when Corny Collins, an incredibly hilarious and perfect Marsden, tells Velma 'This is the future" before grabbing Motormouth and letting her shine on TV. It is such a small moment but it really shows just how good of an actor Marsden is, with just one sentence and one look, I nearly had tears in my eyes. But, the point of this movie is to have fun, no matter who you are and it accomplishes it in spades! Some of the existing musical numbers are gone and two new ones are added in their place and the unfolding events have changed a bit from the musical, but they didn't bother me once. When this movie was over I was very much ready to watch it again because it is just that much fun. The dances don't seem overly complicated but when done in perfect unison that are impressive and while Latifah lacks the raw power of the Motormouth from Broadway, her voice has a sincerity and attitude in it that make "I know Where I've been" a moving number, even if the montage seems a bit overdone.
It is not without knowing its history either as John Waters, Rikki Lake and Jerry Stiller all show up for brief cameos and during the credits "Mama I'm a big girl now" plays and it is being sung by Nikki Blonksy, Rikki Lake and the girl who originated it on Broadway. This has quickly become my favorite of the new wave of translating stage musicals into movies and if you aren't having fun at this movie, something may just be wrong with you!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
I now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry
There was a time when I was among that large fraternity of Adam Sandler fans- Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and the Wedding Singer- are all movies I still find to be hilarious and extremely quotable. However, over the last few years I have been distancing myself from him because, well, his movies have basically started sucking. I am, though, a fan of Kevin James and I thought the premise of this movie was interesting. Plus Jessica Biel is incredibly hot the trailers make the most of the fact, so I figured I would check it out. It couldn't be that bad, right? Right?
Larry Valentine(Kevin James) and Chuck Levine(Adam Sandler) are firefighters and best friends. Valentine is a widower/single parent and Levine is a disgusting womanizer, but they have a male bond that cannot be broken. After Larry saves Chuck's life in a fire, Chuck tells Larry that he will do anything Larry needs at anytime. Larry has been trying to get all of his benefits in his kid's names but do to a flawed system he isn't able to and the only way to do it is to get married or enter into a domestic partnership. He hatches the plan and eventually gets Chuck to sign on after promising no one will ever actually know. The government decides to check up on them to make sure it is all legit and madness ensues. They hire a lawyer, Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel), and quickly Chuck falls head over heels in love with her. Their lies start to spin out of control as they they become kind of poster boys for gay and Chuck starts to doubt keeping up the truth, but because of the love he has for Larry, he continues to do it anyway. They are ostracized by their fellow firefighters, friends and Larry is thrown off of scouting trips and little league. Oh and it is possible that Larry's son is gay (although only 11 years old).
This is supposed to be a comedy of the make-you-laugh-out-loud type, but I think I chuckled a total of 6 times and 4 of those happened at a running gag that for some reason I think is very funny. The gay jokes are old and stale (Boy George records,really?) and the stereotypes painfully unfunny, especially Ving Rhames showing up as a tough crazy big black guy, who is hiding his gayness until Chuck and Larry come out. Then, when Rhames comes out he turns out to be a total queen, with limp wrists, a lisp and singing "I'm every Woman" in the shower. Alex's brother is also gay and possibly every gay stereotype rolled into one person played by new Sandler regular Nick Swardson. If the movie is not offensive to gay people, it is offensive to the genre of comedy. We get the usual Sandler staples- Rob Schneider, David Spade and his other unfunny cronies- all stopping in for excruciatingly awful bits. Schneider as an offensive wannabe Asian and Spade as a gay guy who looks like a hot chick from behind. I cannot think of an original idea in this movie and even the very core of Sandler's character is hard to believe because we have to buy that every woman alive wants to sleep with him and that he is smooth enough to get twin sisters to make out, tongue and all.
That doesn't mean nothing in the movie works because there are some things that work. Steve Buscemi in his obligatory Sandler cameo shines as the government official trying to get to the bottom of the case (he has a fanny pack too!). Dan Ackroyd as the fire captain gave me the two chuckles not related to the running gag. But most of all Kevin James really shines as the heart of the movie. His portrayal of Larry is a touching and kind especially when remembering his deceased wife. The few serious moments int he movie work because of him and the end of the film works because you do believe he and Sandler as best friends. In an attempt to kind of apologize for every gay stereotype in this thing, it hits us very hard over the head about tolerance. And as a message film it almost works. If the rest of the movie hadn't been so damned fraught with bad gay jokes, the kind of over the top preachiness might have sounded a bit sincere. It is like anytime someone starts off a sentence with "No offense but", saying that doesn't not make up for whatever offensive thing you are about to say. I am not a hyper sensitive guy and I find stereotypes to be amusing in doses, but this movie just elevates it to a level that renders every single homophobic gay joke seriously unfunny. Chuck starts the movie as a guy who is not afraid to throw around the word faggot, but by the end he understands what it feels like to be a gay person and has seen the error of his former ways. Also, Jessica Biel is just as hot as advertised, even if most of her scenes are coated in a nice thin layer of misogyny.
I still believe the premise of this movie could lend itself to both a great comedy and a touching drama, but I think it needs to be tackled by people who actually care about the subject or at least by people who understand what is funny. I can't imagine Sandler's usual fans are going to fall in love with the movie because it does have a lot of gay in it, even if it is wrapped in a heavy coating of blatant homophobia, so this could be Sandler's first comedic mainstream dud, which would make me very happy! I hope Kevin James can find better material than this and that this bad movie will not be a deterrent for someone better tackling this subject because it is a hot button issue and could be turned into a great film.
Larry Valentine(Kevin James) and Chuck Levine(Adam Sandler) are firefighters and best friends. Valentine is a widower/single parent and Levine is a disgusting womanizer, but they have a male bond that cannot be broken. After Larry saves Chuck's life in a fire, Chuck tells Larry that he will do anything Larry needs at anytime. Larry has been trying to get all of his benefits in his kid's names but do to a flawed system he isn't able to and the only way to do it is to get married or enter into a domestic partnership. He hatches the plan and eventually gets Chuck to sign on after promising no one will ever actually know. The government decides to check up on them to make sure it is all legit and madness ensues. They hire a lawyer, Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel), and quickly Chuck falls head over heels in love with her. Their lies start to spin out of control as they they become kind of poster boys for gay and Chuck starts to doubt keeping up the truth, but because of the love he has for Larry, he continues to do it anyway. They are ostracized by their fellow firefighters, friends and Larry is thrown off of scouting trips and little league. Oh and it is possible that Larry's son is gay (although only 11 years old).
This is supposed to be a comedy of the make-you-laugh-out-loud type, but I think I chuckled a total of 6 times and 4 of those happened at a running gag that for some reason I think is very funny. The gay jokes are old and stale (Boy George records,really?) and the stereotypes painfully unfunny, especially Ving Rhames showing up as a tough crazy big black guy, who is hiding his gayness until Chuck and Larry come out. Then, when Rhames comes out he turns out to be a total queen, with limp wrists, a lisp and singing "I'm every Woman" in the shower. Alex's brother is also gay and possibly every gay stereotype rolled into one person played by new Sandler regular Nick Swardson. If the movie is not offensive to gay people, it is offensive to the genre of comedy. We get the usual Sandler staples- Rob Schneider, David Spade and his other unfunny cronies- all stopping in for excruciatingly awful bits. Schneider as an offensive wannabe Asian and Spade as a gay guy who looks like a hot chick from behind. I cannot think of an original idea in this movie and even the very core of Sandler's character is hard to believe because we have to buy that every woman alive wants to sleep with him and that he is smooth enough to get twin sisters to make out, tongue and all.
That doesn't mean nothing in the movie works because there are some things that work. Steve Buscemi in his obligatory Sandler cameo shines as the government official trying to get to the bottom of the case (he has a fanny pack too!). Dan Ackroyd as the fire captain gave me the two chuckles not related to the running gag. But most of all Kevin James really shines as the heart of the movie. His portrayal of Larry is a touching and kind especially when remembering his deceased wife. The few serious moments int he movie work because of him and the end of the film works because you do believe he and Sandler as best friends. In an attempt to kind of apologize for every gay stereotype in this thing, it hits us very hard over the head about tolerance. And as a message film it almost works. If the rest of the movie hadn't been so damned fraught with bad gay jokes, the kind of over the top preachiness might have sounded a bit sincere. It is like anytime someone starts off a sentence with "No offense but", saying that doesn't not make up for whatever offensive thing you are about to say. I am not a hyper sensitive guy and I find stereotypes to be amusing in doses, but this movie just elevates it to a level that renders every single homophobic gay joke seriously unfunny. Chuck starts the movie as a guy who is not afraid to throw around the word faggot, but by the end he understands what it feels like to be a gay person and has seen the error of his former ways. Also, Jessica Biel is just as hot as advertised, even if most of her scenes are coated in a nice thin layer of misogyny.
I still believe the premise of this movie could lend itself to both a great comedy and a touching drama, but I think it needs to be tackled by people who actually care about the subject or at least by people who understand what is funny. I can't imagine Sandler's usual fans are going to fall in love with the movie because it does have a lot of gay in it, even if it is wrapped in a heavy coating of blatant homophobia, so this could be Sandler's first comedic mainstream dud, which would make me very happy! I hope Kevin James can find better material than this and that this bad movie will not be a deterrent for someone better tackling this subject because it is a hot button issue and could be turned into a great film.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
My top 10 favorite animated movies list
Well the title of this entry is pretty self explanatory, but having just watched Ratatouille I thought this list seemed fitting, so here are my ten favorite animated movies of all time, followed by a few that just missed the cut.
10. The Jungle Book- With its fantastically characterized animals to the great story and of course "The Bare Necessities" it is hard not to love this movie. Shere Kahn is the perfect tiger villain, Kaa the snake makes a perfect bumbling wannabe villain (although the fear of snakes most people makes him villainous) and Then you have Baloo and Bageera being the prototypes for the buddy film. Throw in a great sequence of monkeys singing and dancing looking for fire and you have one hell of a movie!
9. The Iron Giant- A boy befriends an alien giant and boys all over the world have their fantasies brought to life on the screen! The alien is computer animated but the rest is hand drawn for a unique blend of animated styles. It is thrilling, dangerous and not exactly a typical family animated movie. The characters seem real, due to the director, Brad Bird, being a genius and great voice work from the entire cast. This came out when I was 19 but when I watched it, I was 11 all over again.
8. The Emperor's new Groove- David Spade annoys a lot of people but it is difficult to deny that he is perfect as the crazy ego centric ruler here. From the opening moments until the tail end his snarky one liners are constant hits and his playing off John Goodman's lovable character give off just the perfect blend that He achieved with Chris Farley earlier. Add in Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton stealing the movie, whether from humming his own theme music or speaking squirrel and you have a great Disney comedy. The animation is fun and the story lends itself to some neat tricks and any movie where the main character is turned into a Llama is okay in my book.
7. Happy Feet- A tap dancing penguin movie should not have been this fun, but damn it is just a riot of a movie. Hugh Jackman as a wannabe Elvis could not be better. The animation is entirely too incredible and the song and dance numbers are just so much fun I wanted to tap dance as I left the theater. Yes the politics get crazy heavy handed towards the end, but it doesn't distract from the fun. Robin Williams is back in top voice work form and watching a bunch of a penguins sing "Somebody to love" turns out to be one great show.
6. Monsters, Inc- Some throw this in the batch of only "okay" Pixar movies but I find it to be one of the more magical Pixar Movies. It is almost too clever, which I like and Billy Crystal and John Goodman are a perfect team. The Monster world is truly magnificent and watching all of the different monsters never stops being fun. Throw in Steve Buscemi as the villain and watch the fun commence. The highlight being our two leads pretending to be putting on a musical.
5. The Lion King- What can I say, James Earl Jones and Jeremy Irons voicing character sin the same movie? SIGN ME UP! This movie is equal parts hilarious, thrilling and heart breaking. Loosely following the story of Hamlet, we watch Simba grow from heart broken lion cub into a majestic beast with the help of two of the best animated Disney characters- Timon and Pumba. Nathan Lane was quite the find in his role. The music is epic and beautiful. The animation of "Can't wait to be King" is wonderful and it is hard not to sing Hakuna Matata when it is all said and done.
4. Transformers- What can I say, I grew up on this show and the movie was just more of the same. The animation is perfect and the story is wonderful. They made a daring risk killing off a main character and while many hated it, I remember being impressed by it. The story is fun and the characters even more fun in movie form. This movie always takes away to a time of being a child and having no real big problems and that is the sign of a great movie. Plus it has the Unicron!
3. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut- This was the peak of this show for me. Not to say it has gotten bad or anything, but it is impossible to top this perfect satire of musicals, the media, swearing, Canada and parents. The jokes and funnier, the language is dirtier and the plot even more ridiculous, but it is just so much fun. The music works because it is actually good music, on top of parodying Broadway musicals. All of our favorite characters are there and the climatic battle is just too great to miss.
2. Toy Story- Very few movies possess the sheer delight that this movie has. With a script written by Joss Whedon and Joel Cohen, toys come to life in the most fun imaginative kids movie ever. What boy doesn't wonder if his toys come to life when he is not around. Tom Hanks has never been funnier than he is with Woody and Tim Allen is an absolute riot as Buzz Lightyear. The story is funny, the animation still looks fresh today and it led the charge for a great amount of small character parts for animated movies. The dialogue is about as funny and clever as any live action comedy and it is tough to find anyone who doesn't know that "You are a sad, strange little man" comes from this truly brilliant gem of a movie.
1- Aladdin- At one time I knew every single word to this movie, the dialogue and the song lyrics. I think it is a perfect story, perfect voice work and perfect animation. Every single voice is perfect- Aladdin, the sultan, Jasmine, Jafar, Iago and especially the Genie. Robin Williams has never been funnier, and I mean never. His fast talking mess of a genie is pure comic gold. The songs are tremendous and everyone knows "A whole new world." I can watch this movie over and over and still get joy out of all the fun things going on during "Friend like me" or "Prince Ali." Who doesn't want to ride a magic flying carpet, save a princess or battle a big bad evil guy? This movie has it all!
A few that didn't quite make the cut: Spirited away (you need to see this), Beauty and the Beast, Nightmare before Christmas and The Little Mermaid.
The most overrated animated movie: Finding Nemo.
10. The Jungle Book- With its fantastically characterized animals to the great story and of course "The Bare Necessities" it is hard not to love this movie. Shere Kahn is the perfect tiger villain, Kaa the snake makes a perfect bumbling wannabe villain (although the fear of snakes most people makes him villainous) and Then you have Baloo and Bageera being the prototypes for the buddy film. Throw in a great sequence of monkeys singing and dancing looking for fire and you have one hell of a movie!
9. The Iron Giant- A boy befriends an alien giant and boys all over the world have their fantasies brought to life on the screen! The alien is computer animated but the rest is hand drawn for a unique blend of animated styles. It is thrilling, dangerous and not exactly a typical family animated movie. The characters seem real, due to the director, Brad Bird, being a genius and great voice work from the entire cast. This came out when I was 19 but when I watched it, I was 11 all over again.
8. The Emperor's new Groove- David Spade annoys a lot of people but it is difficult to deny that he is perfect as the crazy ego centric ruler here. From the opening moments until the tail end his snarky one liners are constant hits and his playing off John Goodman's lovable character give off just the perfect blend that He achieved with Chris Farley earlier. Add in Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton stealing the movie, whether from humming his own theme music or speaking squirrel and you have a great Disney comedy. The animation is fun and the story lends itself to some neat tricks and any movie where the main character is turned into a Llama is okay in my book.
7. Happy Feet- A tap dancing penguin movie should not have been this fun, but damn it is just a riot of a movie. Hugh Jackman as a wannabe Elvis could not be better. The animation is entirely too incredible and the song and dance numbers are just so much fun I wanted to tap dance as I left the theater. Yes the politics get crazy heavy handed towards the end, but it doesn't distract from the fun. Robin Williams is back in top voice work form and watching a bunch of a penguins sing "Somebody to love" turns out to be one great show.
6. Monsters, Inc- Some throw this in the batch of only "okay" Pixar movies but I find it to be one of the more magical Pixar Movies. It is almost too clever, which I like and Billy Crystal and John Goodman are a perfect team. The Monster world is truly magnificent and watching all of the different monsters never stops being fun. Throw in Steve Buscemi as the villain and watch the fun commence. The highlight being our two leads pretending to be putting on a musical.
5. The Lion King- What can I say, James Earl Jones and Jeremy Irons voicing character sin the same movie? SIGN ME UP! This movie is equal parts hilarious, thrilling and heart breaking. Loosely following the story of Hamlet, we watch Simba grow from heart broken lion cub into a majestic beast with the help of two of the best animated Disney characters- Timon and Pumba. Nathan Lane was quite the find in his role. The music is epic and beautiful. The animation of "Can't wait to be King" is wonderful and it is hard not to sing Hakuna Matata when it is all said and done.
4. Transformers- What can I say, I grew up on this show and the movie was just more of the same. The animation is perfect and the story is wonderful. They made a daring risk killing off a main character and while many hated it, I remember being impressed by it. The story is fun and the characters even more fun in movie form. This movie always takes away to a time of being a child and having no real big problems and that is the sign of a great movie. Plus it has the Unicron!
3. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut- This was the peak of this show for me. Not to say it has gotten bad or anything, but it is impossible to top this perfect satire of musicals, the media, swearing, Canada and parents. The jokes and funnier, the language is dirtier and the plot even more ridiculous, but it is just so much fun. The music works because it is actually good music, on top of parodying Broadway musicals. All of our favorite characters are there and the climatic battle is just too great to miss.
2. Toy Story- Very few movies possess the sheer delight that this movie has. With a script written by Joss Whedon and Joel Cohen, toys come to life in the most fun imaginative kids movie ever. What boy doesn't wonder if his toys come to life when he is not around. Tom Hanks has never been funnier than he is with Woody and Tim Allen is an absolute riot as Buzz Lightyear. The story is funny, the animation still looks fresh today and it led the charge for a great amount of small character parts for animated movies. The dialogue is about as funny and clever as any live action comedy and it is tough to find anyone who doesn't know that "You are a sad, strange little man" comes from this truly brilliant gem of a movie.
1- Aladdin- At one time I knew every single word to this movie, the dialogue and the song lyrics. I think it is a perfect story, perfect voice work and perfect animation. Every single voice is perfect- Aladdin, the sultan, Jasmine, Jafar, Iago and especially the Genie. Robin Williams has never been funnier, and I mean never. His fast talking mess of a genie is pure comic gold. The songs are tremendous and everyone knows "A whole new world." I can watch this movie over and over and still get joy out of all the fun things going on during "Friend like me" or "Prince Ali." Who doesn't want to ride a magic flying carpet, save a princess or battle a big bad evil guy? This movie has it all!
A few that didn't quite make the cut: Spirited away (you need to see this), Beauty and the Beast, Nightmare before Christmas and The Little Mermaid.
The most overrated animated movie: Finding Nemo.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Ratatouille (spoilers)
Brad Bird just understands how to make animated films- The Iron Giant and The Incredibles- are both excellent animated films. Because I trust him, I checked this movie out. I was not thrilled by watching the trailers, animals don't do it for me, Patton Oswalt seemed like an odd choice as the main voice and the premise just seemed too silly for me. Yet, because Bird made The Iron Giant, I was willing to believe he could turn me into a fan of a rat chef.
Remy (Oswalt) is a rat with a keen sense of smell and a desire to eat only good foods. Since he is a rat, he eats garbage and is supposed to roll with his giant family of rats, but he wants more. After he is separated from his family he realizes he is in Paris, apparently the best city in the world for a chef. At times he is visited by Gusteau (Brad Garrett) the chef who made Remy believe he could cook. Gusteau is dead now, but appears as a figment of Remy's imagination. After making his way into a bistro to find some food, Remy sees this awkward guy ruining a soup. That guy, Linguini, is wannabe chef but just doesn't know what he is doing. Remy fixes the soup, but everyone believes Linguini did it and they expect him to do it again. Linguini knows it was Remy and the most unlikely of friendships is formed. Remy controls Linguini's actions by pulling on his hair and so the story goes.
The motto spouted by the characters in this movie is anyone can cook. That is the premise we are supposed to buy as an audience. We have to believe this rat can be a chef and to be honest, it is accomplished in most ways. Bird has created a world where we can care about a rat and Oswalt does a surprisingly good job with the voice work. Also, Remy doesn't do a lot of talking, which is great. He does most of his voice work in the realm of the voice over. I like that when humans hear him talk it is just in screeches. The problem with the premise is that the movie sets out to show that in fact not everyone can cook. Remy is the only one in this movie that can actually cook. They want us to believe that anyone can cook so we can buy the rat cooking, but apparently we are supposed to forget that premise when it comes to Linguini or his lady friend Collette. That is my main issue with the movie. Also it runs a little long and it gets a bit too silly for my liking and it lacks the usual charm and clever attitude of the Pixar movies.
The animation is beyond dazzling to the point where the rain drops looks like real rain and Paris looks beyond incredible. There are a few action sequences that are among some of the better action sequences from this summer's movie selection, especially the one in the kitchen towards the beginning where Remy is trying to stay unseen. A lot of the shots are wonderful shots and at times it really feels like a live action film. It doesn't have the laughter the early Pixar movies have, but perhaps it has a more complete story. The score is just outstanding, leaving me breathless during some of the more active scenes. It was no surprise that it is Michael Giacchino, the composer of every episode of Lost and Alias. Rarely has a score moved me during a movie this much, especially for an animated movie.
This movie is far from perfect, but it is definitely worth watching. While it doesn't have the innocent charm of The Iron Giant or the crazy good story of The Incredibles, it does have something fun. It doesn't seem as much for kids, but the few jokes aimed at kids actually work for adults as well. I wanted to like this better than I did because of Brad Bird, but the fact that I actually cared about this rat goes to show just how good he is because well lets face it, I do not enjoy animals at all.
Remy (Oswalt) is a rat with a keen sense of smell and a desire to eat only good foods. Since he is a rat, he eats garbage and is supposed to roll with his giant family of rats, but he wants more. After he is separated from his family he realizes he is in Paris, apparently the best city in the world for a chef. At times he is visited by Gusteau (Brad Garrett) the chef who made Remy believe he could cook. Gusteau is dead now, but appears as a figment of Remy's imagination. After making his way into a bistro to find some food, Remy sees this awkward guy ruining a soup. That guy, Linguini, is wannabe chef but just doesn't know what he is doing. Remy fixes the soup, but everyone believes Linguini did it and they expect him to do it again. Linguini knows it was Remy and the most unlikely of friendships is formed. Remy controls Linguini's actions by pulling on his hair and so the story goes.
The motto spouted by the characters in this movie is anyone can cook. That is the premise we are supposed to buy as an audience. We have to believe this rat can be a chef and to be honest, it is accomplished in most ways. Bird has created a world where we can care about a rat and Oswalt does a surprisingly good job with the voice work. Also, Remy doesn't do a lot of talking, which is great. He does most of his voice work in the realm of the voice over. I like that when humans hear him talk it is just in screeches. The problem with the premise is that the movie sets out to show that in fact not everyone can cook. Remy is the only one in this movie that can actually cook. They want us to believe that anyone can cook so we can buy the rat cooking, but apparently we are supposed to forget that premise when it comes to Linguini or his lady friend Collette. That is my main issue with the movie. Also it runs a little long and it gets a bit too silly for my liking and it lacks the usual charm and clever attitude of the Pixar movies.
The animation is beyond dazzling to the point where the rain drops looks like real rain and Paris looks beyond incredible. There are a few action sequences that are among some of the better action sequences from this summer's movie selection, especially the one in the kitchen towards the beginning where Remy is trying to stay unseen. A lot of the shots are wonderful shots and at times it really feels like a live action film. It doesn't have the laughter the early Pixar movies have, but perhaps it has a more complete story. The score is just outstanding, leaving me breathless during some of the more active scenes. It was no surprise that it is Michael Giacchino, the composer of every episode of Lost and Alias. Rarely has a score moved me during a movie this much, especially for an animated movie.
This movie is far from perfect, but it is definitely worth watching. While it doesn't have the innocent charm of The Iron Giant or the crazy good story of The Incredibles, it does have something fun. It doesn't seem as much for kids, but the few jokes aimed at kids actually work for adults as well. I wanted to like this better than I did because of Brad Bird, but the fact that I actually cared about this rat goes to show just how good he is because well lets face it, I do not enjoy animals at all.
Les Miserables
I have never been a fan of this show even though I have never actually seen it. I had a "best of" Cd and it put me to sleep with its insane boring music. However, everyone has always told me that I would like it so much more when I actually saw it, so since it was at Music Circus this season, I figured I would check it out. Allow me to begin with some of the factors I was dealing with while watching it that may have adversely affected my opinion of this show: 1. The woman and child in front of me insisted on whispering constantly and 2. The woman on the end of my row thought humming along to "On my Own" would be a fantastic idea. Also, I may make some Shakespearean comparisons because, well they fit and sometimes I like to pretend I am smart.
This happy little show begins in 1815 where we meet our hero, Jean Valjean (Ivan Rutherford), fresh from serving a 19 year jail sentence for stealing a loaf of bread. Had this not been 1815 France I would have found this to be ridiculous but considering this play will eventually take us to the revolution, it makes sense. He cannot seem to find work because of his past so he decides to leave that past behind, much to the chagrin of Javert (Brad Little), the cop who becomes obsessed with finding Valjean. We jump 8 years and Valjean is explicitly the mayor of a village, apparently it is near his old village (no one said he was smart) and Javert is still haunted by losing him. We are also introduced to a down on her luck Fantine, who has a daughter (Cosette) who is starving and living in bad conditions but Fantine can't seem to get money because she us shunned for having a baby out of wedlock. She sells herself and and before she is arrested she tugs at the heart strings of Valjean and he promises her he will find her and take care of her. Also, for some unknown reason Valjean has superhuman strength and Javert remembers this and when he sees Valjean lift a runaway stage coach, he is reminded of that prisoner. Valjean reveals himself but escapes.
After rescuing Cosette from some truly heinous people, Valjean starts a new life and again we jump time to nine years later. Cosette is a bit older and Valjean is still an idiot because he is still near Javert. Now we meet some young liberal minded men who want to start the revolution and among these people is Marius (Michael Hunsaker). They instantly fall in love, as only those in movies or theater can, but are ripped away when Valjean believes Javert is on his tail yet again. Also the revolution has started and people are being picked off left and right. That is as basic of a plot as I can possibly give, but I know I left some things out.
This musical is still boring, even while watching it staged. The stage constrictions at the Wells Fargo Pavilion make keeping track of everything and everyone nearly impossible. The director apparently told his actors to face every way but where I was sitting because I rarely got faces. The sparse set just doesn't work for me with a show like this. I wanted to see something big and epic to keep up with the giant nature of the score. The orchestra was flawless and the lighting superb but the other technical things were off. Some of the mics were late to be turned on and some turned on too early and a few props seemed to be missing, if you were paying attention (unless they were going Our Town style).
As for the performances well, Valjean is strong but his falsetto wasn't working for me and it actually made me giggle at times. He seemed to be a strong actor in the tender moments but his strong moments didn't really register with me. Javert was a pleasure to watch and listen to, especially in his soliloquy, where like Wosley in Shakespeare's Henry the 5th, he laments how his own ideals have been lost during his life and instead of trying to figure out what to do, he kills himself (a hokey moment given the stage constrictions). One girl I didn't mention during the summary was Eponine (Juliana Ashley Hansen). She is love with Marius, but he sees her as only a friend and at the beginning of act two she sings "On My Own". It is my favorite song in the show and Hansen does not at all disappoint. She was incredibly strong and vulnerable in her conviction to the song and to Marius and played Eponine with more playfulness than I would have imagined and it worked. Of everyone on stage she was the one I felt for and when she was killed, it was the only death that got to me, not unlike Queen Katherine in Henry the 5th as she makes her final grand statement before dying.
As the lovers Cosette and Marius, Laura Griffith and the aforementioned Hunsaker are fine. They don't stand out and make you feel their love and the songs don't help really. The one other guy who incredibly impressed me was Enjolras (Will Ray), Marius' friend. His solo work in "Red and Black" (still a corny ass song) and "Do you hear the people sing" were truly the high points of the show for me. Another high point would be Valjean's "Bring him home." The moment was incredibly tender and while the stage's spinning stage loses it's charm quickly, it works in this moment.
Following in that Shakespearean tragedy format, we are not devoid of a few light moment. Where Macbeth has its witches, we have a husband and wife team that sing the ghastly overrated "Master of the House." It is a funny little number but wears out its welcome very quickly. Also it reappears as a different song later in act 2 (right before the big finale, how very Othello like). While in Othello it was meant to soften us up for the big nasty to follow, this little comic relief right before we see Valjean meet his fate serves as just an obnoxious repeat to what we saw earlier. Maybe it was the two actors, maybe it was the staging, but I could have done without this nonsense.
I have not read the source material or seen the non musical movie version and while this is an incredibly flawed production and musical, the basic story makes me interested int he movie. Watching Javert's obsession take hold of him as Valjean's increasing kindness proves him to be a good guy is an interesting study in right and wrong or good and evil, but in the realm of this musical it takes the form of random choppy encounters. The musical doesn't flow real well, at least this production doesn't. It seems jarring in places where it should move seamlessly like a snake through grass.
This happy little show begins in 1815 where we meet our hero, Jean Valjean (Ivan Rutherford), fresh from serving a 19 year jail sentence for stealing a loaf of bread. Had this not been 1815 France I would have found this to be ridiculous but considering this play will eventually take us to the revolution, it makes sense. He cannot seem to find work because of his past so he decides to leave that past behind, much to the chagrin of Javert (Brad Little), the cop who becomes obsessed with finding Valjean. We jump 8 years and Valjean is explicitly the mayor of a village, apparently it is near his old village (no one said he was smart) and Javert is still haunted by losing him. We are also introduced to a down on her luck Fantine, who has a daughter (Cosette) who is starving and living in bad conditions but Fantine can't seem to get money because she us shunned for having a baby out of wedlock. She sells herself and and before she is arrested she tugs at the heart strings of Valjean and he promises her he will find her and take care of her. Also, for some unknown reason Valjean has superhuman strength and Javert remembers this and when he sees Valjean lift a runaway stage coach, he is reminded of that prisoner. Valjean reveals himself but escapes.
After rescuing Cosette from some truly heinous people, Valjean starts a new life and again we jump time to nine years later. Cosette is a bit older and Valjean is still an idiot because he is still near Javert. Now we meet some young liberal minded men who want to start the revolution and among these people is Marius (Michael Hunsaker). They instantly fall in love, as only those in movies or theater can, but are ripped away when Valjean believes Javert is on his tail yet again. Also the revolution has started and people are being picked off left and right. That is as basic of a plot as I can possibly give, but I know I left some things out.
This musical is still boring, even while watching it staged. The stage constrictions at the Wells Fargo Pavilion make keeping track of everything and everyone nearly impossible. The director apparently told his actors to face every way but where I was sitting because I rarely got faces. The sparse set just doesn't work for me with a show like this. I wanted to see something big and epic to keep up with the giant nature of the score. The orchestra was flawless and the lighting superb but the other technical things were off. Some of the mics were late to be turned on and some turned on too early and a few props seemed to be missing, if you were paying attention (unless they were going Our Town style).
As for the performances well, Valjean is strong but his falsetto wasn't working for me and it actually made me giggle at times. He seemed to be a strong actor in the tender moments but his strong moments didn't really register with me. Javert was a pleasure to watch and listen to, especially in his soliloquy, where like Wosley in Shakespeare's Henry the 5th, he laments how his own ideals have been lost during his life and instead of trying to figure out what to do, he kills himself (a hokey moment given the stage constrictions). One girl I didn't mention during the summary was Eponine (Juliana Ashley Hansen). She is love with Marius, but he sees her as only a friend and at the beginning of act two she sings "On My Own". It is my favorite song in the show and Hansen does not at all disappoint. She was incredibly strong and vulnerable in her conviction to the song and to Marius and played Eponine with more playfulness than I would have imagined and it worked. Of everyone on stage she was the one I felt for and when she was killed, it was the only death that got to me, not unlike Queen Katherine in Henry the 5th as she makes her final grand statement before dying.
As the lovers Cosette and Marius, Laura Griffith and the aforementioned Hunsaker are fine. They don't stand out and make you feel their love and the songs don't help really. The one other guy who incredibly impressed me was Enjolras (Will Ray), Marius' friend. His solo work in "Red and Black" (still a corny ass song) and "Do you hear the people sing" were truly the high points of the show for me. Another high point would be Valjean's "Bring him home." The moment was incredibly tender and while the stage's spinning stage loses it's charm quickly, it works in this moment.
Following in that Shakespearean tragedy format, we are not devoid of a few light moment. Where Macbeth has its witches, we have a husband and wife team that sing the ghastly overrated "Master of the House." It is a funny little number but wears out its welcome very quickly. Also it reappears as a different song later in act 2 (right before the big finale, how very Othello like). While in Othello it was meant to soften us up for the big nasty to follow, this little comic relief right before we see Valjean meet his fate serves as just an obnoxious repeat to what we saw earlier. Maybe it was the two actors, maybe it was the staging, but I could have done without this nonsense.
I have not read the source material or seen the non musical movie version and while this is an incredibly flawed production and musical, the basic story makes me interested int he movie. Watching Javert's obsession take hold of him as Valjean's increasing kindness proves him to be a good guy is an interesting study in right and wrong or good and evil, but in the realm of this musical it takes the form of random choppy encounters. The musical doesn't flow real well, at least this production doesn't. It seems jarring in places where it should move seamlessly like a snake through grass.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix (spoilers)
I must begin this by saying I am not a reader of the Harry Potter series. My knowledge of the Potter mythos is based solely in the cinematic portrayals and the things my friends tell me (whether I am interested or not). I have enjoyed the movies but I have no understanding of what gets missed from the source material. I will be reviewing this specifically as a movie, like I would any other movie. So in that aspect is it any good? Does the Potter series still excite or has it worn out its welcome?
After a bad ass fight with Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) has spent his summer alone, apparently spending it all on a swing getting his emo on. It seems that no one believes his Voldemort story, except Dumbledore but Dumbledore isn't speaking to Harry, so Harry is left to be a whiny little teenage boy. Now, I am not entirely sure who the bully is, but I believe it is a cousin(?) and they are about to go toe to toe when the sky gets dark and there are all of a sudden two Dementers(?) appear and harry busts out his magic wand and knocks them back to whatever hell they came from. The Ministry of witchcraft and wizardry wants Potter expelled from school so they use this use of magic in front of a muggle (non magic person) as their excuse to do it. However, Dumbledore saves the day, but continues to give Potter the big brush off. Back at school the friction between Harry and his two friends have carried over as people still don't believe Voldemort is back.
Delores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) has become the new teacher of the black arts (?) but she is a ministry approved teacher so she is taking all of the fun out of magic, electing to spend time focusing on standardized testing. Soon, with the grand minister at her back (perhaps literally and metaphorically) she gains all sorts of power within the school and laws start popping up. All the while, other students finally start to believe that Potter and the big bad did duke it out and the teenage wizards begin to form their own army and practice their wizardry. The big plot though is that Potter and Voldemort are becoming one. They have this deep connection and Potter finds himself getting a little more evil (Hello Spiderman 3). Voldemort is trying to gain this prophesy thing and that is where the climax happens. I believe that is all the main stuff.
This is one completely and totally average movie. It is 2 hours of exposition for the final two chapters and features so many loose ends I wouldn't even know where to begin. First off all, since the Dementers are controlled by the ministry, we are to believe someone in the ministry sent them to Potter, but it is never discussed again. Also, there is a giant and a few canataurs (half people half horse) that have nothing to do with advancing the story in any way. Dumbledore is ignoring Potter because he thought if he did it that Voldemort wouldn't want to invade Potter's mind, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. How does the head master Wizard underestimate the big bad like that? And how is he immediately forgiven? I know the ministry doesn't wan tot believe the big bad is back, but how convenient is it that they don't even seem to pursue that possibility and just go straight to slandering Dumbledore and Potter? Hagrid ( Robbie Coltrane) talks about going to the land of the giants, but only mentions it in passing, so I assume this will show up in the seventh installment, but here is just doesn't work. Also, it is called the Order of the Phoenix, but the order bookends the movie and doesn't really do anything when they are on screen, certainly not enough to warrant the title being named after them. The kids are all still horrible actors, with Harry taking the cake of suck. Hermoine (Emma Watson) is the best character of the teens but Watson has a very whiny delivery that is obnoxious.
Could someone please makes a movie where Snape (Alan Rickman) is in every scene. His ambiguous character is mesmerizing but in every movie I keep wanting more Snape and less of everyone else. Gary Oldman is back with a fantastic Serius Black, however unceremonious his death is. Ralph Fiennes is turning Lord Voldemort into a truly iconic villain, joining these ranks- Nicholson's Joker, Darth Vader, Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor, Ian McKellan's Magneto and Alan Rickman's Die Hard villain. The closing Voldemort line "You will lose everything" gave me chills and again, I need more of him! While some do not like the new Dumbledore (I can't tell the difference) the character is bad ass. He can disappear as fire and then in truly stunning climatic battle he and Voldemort exchange bad assery wizard mojo. Also, the scenes where the students are in the secret room practicing their magic for the big battle (two movies away!!) are fun and thrilling the way these movies are supposed to be. The effects have taken a step backwards and the life felt sucked out of these movies. I enjoyed the real life applications of the school being run by the school district but Delores Umbridge was such an obnoxious character that I wasn't annoyed at what she was doing, I was annoyed by the fact that the author made me deal with such a character.
I am sure not being a reader of the books has affected my viewing of this movie and perhaps the loose ends are discussed to more depth in this book or the next one or perhaps in the closing book due out next week. The things I love about the third and fourth installments of this overly long series were gone here. Even series need a specific story arc and this movie had no real discernible middle or end really. The Lord of the Rings movies all had a beginning middle and end for each movie where even when the ending was indeterminate, they had a specific ending and this movie just kind of wonders from scene to annoying scene, not focusing on the cool characters or the cool magic. Some of this fault lies with the source material and some of it lies with the director which worries me because he is coming back for movie number 6. This is not a bad movie, it just a movie with a lot of holes. It has enough of a cool battle to make me give out 1 cheer, but it was boring enough that I left to go refill my soda, which I rarely do in the middle of a movie.
After a bad ass fight with Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) has spent his summer alone, apparently spending it all on a swing getting his emo on. It seems that no one believes his Voldemort story, except Dumbledore but Dumbledore isn't speaking to Harry, so Harry is left to be a whiny little teenage boy. Now, I am not entirely sure who the bully is, but I believe it is a cousin(?) and they are about to go toe to toe when the sky gets dark and there are all of a sudden two Dementers(?) appear and harry busts out his magic wand and knocks them back to whatever hell they came from. The Ministry of witchcraft and wizardry wants Potter expelled from school so they use this use of magic in front of a muggle (non magic person) as their excuse to do it. However, Dumbledore saves the day, but continues to give Potter the big brush off. Back at school the friction between Harry and his two friends have carried over as people still don't believe Voldemort is back.
Delores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) has become the new teacher of the black arts (?) but she is a ministry approved teacher so she is taking all of the fun out of magic, electing to spend time focusing on standardized testing. Soon, with the grand minister at her back (perhaps literally and metaphorically) she gains all sorts of power within the school and laws start popping up. All the while, other students finally start to believe that Potter and the big bad did duke it out and the teenage wizards begin to form their own army and practice their wizardry. The big plot though is that Potter and Voldemort are becoming one. They have this deep connection and Potter finds himself getting a little more evil (Hello Spiderman 3). Voldemort is trying to gain this prophesy thing and that is where the climax happens. I believe that is all the main stuff.
This is one completely and totally average movie. It is 2 hours of exposition for the final two chapters and features so many loose ends I wouldn't even know where to begin. First off all, since the Dementers are controlled by the ministry, we are to believe someone in the ministry sent them to Potter, but it is never discussed again. Also, there is a giant and a few canataurs (half people half horse) that have nothing to do with advancing the story in any way. Dumbledore is ignoring Potter because he thought if he did it that Voldemort wouldn't want to invade Potter's mind, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. How does the head master Wizard underestimate the big bad like that? And how is he immediately forgiven? I know the ministry doesn't wan tot believe the big bad is back, but how convenient is it that they don't even seem to pursue that possibility and just go straight to slandering Dumbledore and Potter? Hagrid ( Robbie Coltrane) talks about going to the land of the giants, but only mentions it in passing, so I assume this will show up in the seventh installment, but here is just doesn't work. Also, it is called the Order of the Phoenix, but the order bookends the movie and doesn't really do anything when they are on screen, certainly not enough to warrant the title being named after them. The kids are all still horrible actors, with Harry taking the cake of suck. Hermoine (Emma Watson) is the best character of the teens but Watson has a very whiny delivery that is obnoxious.
Could someone please makes a movie where Snape (Alan Rickman) is in every scene. His ambiguous character is mesmerizing but in every movie I keep wanting more Snape and less of everyone else. Gary Oldman is back with a fantastic Serius Black, however unceremonious his death is. Ralph Fiennes is turning Lord Voldemort into a truly iconic villain, joining these ranks- Nicholson's Joker, Darth Vader, Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor, Ian McKellan's Magneto and Alan Rickman's Die Hard villain. The closing Voldemort line "You will lose everything" gave me chills and again, I need more of him! While some do not like the new Dumbledore (I can't tell the difference) the character is bad ass. He can disappear as fire and then in truly stunning climatic battle he and Voldemort exchange bad assery wizard mojo. Also, the scenes where the students are in the secret room practicing their magic for the big battle (two movies away!!) are fun and thrilling the way these movies are supposed to be. The effects have taken a step backwards and the life felt sucked out of these movies. I enjoyed the real life applications of the school being run by the school district but Delores Umbridge was such an obnoxious character that I wasn't annoyed at what she was doing, I was annoyed by the fact that the author made me deal with such a character.
I am sure not being a reader of the books has affected my viewing of this movie and perhaps the loose ends are discussed to more depth in this book or the next one or perhaps in the closing book due out next week. The things I love about the third and fourth installments of this overly long series were gone here. Even series need a specific story arc and this movie had no real discernible middle or end really. The Lord of the Rings movies all had a beginning middle and end for each movie where even when the ending was indeterminate, they had a specific ending and this movie just kind of wonders from scene to annoying scene, not focusing on the cool characters or the cool magic. Some of this fault lies with the source material and some of it lies with the director which worries me because he is coming back for movie number 6. This is not a bad movie, it just a movie with a lot of holes. It has enough of a cool battle to make me give out 1 cheer, but it was boring enough that I left to go refill my soda, which I rarely do in the middle of a movie.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Pharoahe Monch "Desire" album review
Usually I believe you need 4 listens of a rap album before you can really decide on whether you like it or not. 3 listens for a very basic album and maybe 5 for something deeper and more complex, but for this album I needed 6 listens before I could fully comprehend whether I liked it or not and I am still not sure I have caught everything there is to catch; That is how complex Monch is when it comes to lyrics. He is about 12 years deep in the rap game, but this is only his second solo album because he has been caught in label limbo for so many years, so is Monch still relevant? If this album is any indication, yes, very much so!
Free- Right off the bat we know what we are in store for as the beat hits hard and we hear the word "free" repeated over and over again. Monch is ready for war, airing out what he thinks about the label system in his first line on the song which is "The A&R is the house nigga and the label the plantation..." This song is pure heat and Monch is on his A game for the entire 3 and a half minutes. WOW! 5/5
Desire- The beat come son and sound like a 70's funk throwback and the guy singing on the hook emphasises that with a deep guttural sounding voice. Monch is still on fire here "Salve to a label but I own my masters." Not the first time this metaphor has been used by a rapper, but Monch attacks it so hard that I believe him fully. He tears through this track with metaphor after metaphor and simile after simile. "My mic is the gavel when I hold court" "Even if you were ashes you couldn't burn." Then he ends each verse with a 3 choppy word flow, emphasizing the word "desire." 5/5
Push- This song is a bit old and is probably a hold over from a leaked album. The horns on the beat are on the forefront because it features and samples Tower of Power. It is kind of a break from your usual 16/chorus/16/chorus/16/chorus format and it works very well for him. He kind of talks through a short first verse and doesn't really get going until towards the end but when he gets going he lets off this little political blast "in this era of G.W. Bush We must load mental ammunition and bust." The song is about pushing yourself forward and not backing down and another amazing track. 5/5
Welcome to the terrordome- In this updating of the classic anti- establishment Public Enemy track Monch is incredible. The first verses are fairly identical and then he just lets loose. The beat is crazy good and it samples the original Public Enemy track. Monch brings the same Chuck D. Energy and just drops knowledge on anyone willing to listen. 5/5
What it is- This is a dark sounding track, with a haunting beat and Monch compliments it very well as he references star wars, The Matrix and some other movies but with horror movie like style. The punchlines are hardcore and Monch is an angry man and this is the first track where he really switches his delivery and uses the cuts in the beat for effect to a perfect melding of voice and scratch. 4.5/5
When the gun draws- Monch takes the voice of a bullet in this song. Not the first time Monch has talked about guns and bullets and how bad they all are for people. The hook is a bit annoying for me, but the message of the song is loud and clear. This song is very much about how people with guns are the real problem though. The bullet makes its case that it is not his fault someone pulled the trigger. There is a political message here as well because he wouldn't be Monch without it. The beat wouldn't sound of place on a Dr. Dre CD because it has Dre like qualities which makes sense since the producer of it works for and with Dre. 4.5/5
Let-s go- This was the first single when the album was first going to be released a while back so it is not new but that doesn't mean it isn't awesome because it is. It is an uptempo track and Monch is all over it. His verses are crazy and again his references always work as he goes back to his comic book roots with "and you can't see me like Matt Murdoch." I have been listening to this song for over a year probably and I still catch new little things that make it even better each time. I just now caught the Terminator reference this last listen. 5/5
Body Baby- This is the lead single now as the album actually get released. The beat is a throwback beat again. Monch sings on the hook which doesn't totally work for me and if you see the video, it sucks, but his delivery right off the bat is crazy and his lyrical wordplay is top notch here. The hand claps towards the end invoke memories of bad Outkast songs but it doesn't derail the track for me because of his lyrical content. Monch gets a 5/5 but the overall feel of the song gets a 3.5/5
Bar tap- This is the first song I don't really like on the album, but I respect his originality on a familiar topic. He mixes his rapping and singing and he is talking to a girl and eventually I think has sex with her on the track. He is somewhat humorous here as he kind of makes fun of that Nelly "hurr" and "thurr" lingo, but overall it is still a very weak track for me. I liked the beat though. 3/5
Hold on- Pharoahe Monch the feminist here. It is an incredibly touching, deep track. He slows down his crazy flow and his voice is a lot softer here. Erykah Badu is the perfect voice for the hook here and the song is really a great song about the beauty of women and the senselessness of violence towards women. Monch is trying to tell the women of the world to keep fighting, to keep holding on. I really love this track a lot. 5/5
So Good- It is a sex track, but like a deep love making sex track. Monch wants his girl to give everything of hers to him. Her stress and her fears. The track wouldn't sound out of place in some spoken word venue as it is all metaphorical and allusion heavy. Monch is definitely getting his love on here. Nothing spectacular, but not a bad track. 3/5
Trilogy- In this 9 minute epic track perfectly produced by Mr. Porter and the hook perfectly sung by him as well, Monch has killed his wife and the man she was sleeping with. The story is told semi in reverse, or more like in a non linear fashion. The beat changes with all 3 acts, but the story remains the same and Mr. Porter handles the change effortlessly. Monch manages to keep his energy going even with the change in beats and the story remains interesting and his character always engrossing, especially in the second act where he sees who the guy is who was sleeping with his wife. This is a very adventurous track and is the perfect way to close out an incredible album. 5/5
This is by far the best thing i have heard all year and most of it has to be heard to truly understood and enjoyed. There are so many in and out rhymes, crazy metaphors and killer punchlines that Monch was definitely thinking when he wrote this album and I am glad to see someone still out there ripping it up not as concerned with that one massive hit.
Free- Right off the bat we know what we are in store for as the beat hits hard and we hear the word "free" repeated over and over again. Monch is ready for war, airing out what he thinks about the label system in his first line on the song which is "The A&R is the house nigga and the label the plantation..." This song is pure heat and Monch is on his A game for the entire 3 and a half minutes. WOW! 5/5
Desire- The beat come son and sound like a 70's funk throwback and the guy singing on the hook emphasises that with a deep guttural sounding voice. Monch is still on fire here "Salve to a label but I own my masters." Not the first time this metaphor has been used by a rapper, but Monch attacks it so hard that I believe him fully. He tears through this track with metaphor after metaphor and simile after simile. "My mic is the gavel when I hold court" "Even if you were ashes you couldn't burn." Then he ends each verse with a 3 choppy word flow, emphasizing the word "desire." 5/5
Push- This song is a bit old and is probably a hold over from a leaked album. The horns on the beat are on the forefront because it features and samples Tower of Power. It is kind of a break from your usual 16/chorus/16/chorus/16/chorus format and it works very well for him. He kind of talks through a short first verse and doesn't really get going until towards the end but when he gets going he lets off this little political blast "in this era of G.W. Bush We must load mental ammunition and bust." The song is about pushing yourself forward and not backing down and another amazing track. 5/5
Welcome to the terrordome- In this updating of the classic anti- establishment Public Enemy track Monch is incredible. The first verses are fairly identical and then he just lets loose. The beat is crazy good and it samples the original Public Enemy track. Monch brings the same Chuck D. Energy and just drops knowledge on anyone willing to listen. 5/5
What it is- This is a dark sounding track, with a haunting beat and Monch compliments it very well as he references star wars, The Matrix and some other movies but with horror movie like style. The punchlines are hardcore and Monch is an angry man and this is the first track where he really switches his delivery and uses the cuts in the beat for effect to a perfect melding of voice and scratch. 4.5/5
When the gun draws- Monch takes the voice of a bullet in this song. Not the first time Monch has talked about guns and bullets and how bad they all are for people. The hook is a bit annoying for me, but the message of the song is loud and clear. This song is very much about how people with guns are the real problem though. The bullet makes its case that it is not his fault someone pulled the trigger. There is a political message here as well because he wouldn't be Monch without it. The beat wouldn't sound of place on a Dr. Dre CD because it has Dre like qualities which makes sense since the producer of it works for and with Dre. 4.5/5
Let-s go- This was the first single when the album was first going to be released a while back so it is not new but that doesn't mean it isn't awesome because it is. It is an uptempo track and Monch is all over it. His verses are crazy and again his references always work as he goes back to his comic book roots with "and you can't see me like Matt Murdoch." I have been listening to this song for over a year probably and I still catch new little things that make it even better each time. I just now caught the Terminator reference this last listen. 5/5
Body Baby- This is the lead single now as the album actually get released. The beat is a throwback beat again. Monch sings on the hook which doesn't totally work for me and if you see the video, it sucks, but his delivery right off the bat is crazy and his lyrical wordplay is top notch here. The hand claps towards the end invoke memories of bad Outkast songs but it doesn't derail the track for me because of his lyrical content. Monch gets a 5/5 but the overall feel of the song gets a 3.5/5
Bar tap- This is the first song I don't really like on the album, but I respect his originality on a familiar topic. He mixes his rapping and singing and he is talking to a girl and eventually I think has sex with her on the track. He is somewhat humorous here as he kind of makes fun of that Nelly "hurr" and "thurr" lingo, but overall it is still a very weak track for me. I liked the beat though. 3/5
Hold on- Pharoahe Monch the feminist here. It is an incredibly touching, deep track. He slows down his crazy flow and his voice is a lot softer here. Erykah Badu is the perfect voice for the hook here and the song is really a great song about the beauty of women and the senselessness of violence towards women. Monch is trying to tell the women of the world to keep fighting, to keep holding on. I really love this track a lot. 5/5
So Good- It is a sex track, but like a deep love making sex track. Monch wants his girl to give everything of hers to him. Her stress and her fears. The track wouldn't sound out of place in some spoken word venue as it is all metaphorical and allusion heavy. Monch is definitely getting his love on here. Nothing spectacular, but not a bad track. 3/5
Trilogy- In this 9 minute epic track perfectly produced by Mr. Porter and the hook perfectly sung by him as well, Monch has killed his wife and the man she was sleeping with. The story is told semi in reverse, or more like in a non linear fashion. The beat changes with all 3 acts, but the story remains the same and Mr. Porter handles the change effortlessly. Monch manages to keep his energy going even with the change in beats and the story remains interesting and his character always engrossing, especially in the second act where he sees who the guy is who was sleeping with his wife. This is a very adventurous track and is the perfect way to close out an incredible album. 5/5
This is by far the best thing i have heard all year and most of it has to be heard to truly understood and enjoyed. There are so many in and out rhymes, crazy metaphors and killer punchlines that Monch was definitely thinking when he wrote this album and I am glad to see someone still out there ripping it up not as concerned with that one massive hit.
T.I's "T.I vs. T.I.P" album review
I have never been a fan of T.I because well, it takes a lot for a southern rapper to catch my ear and save for 2 or 3 singles he just hasn't seemed worthy of my time or effort. When I found out this album was being billed as a concept album I was excited. I love concept albums whether they bomb (Diary of Kirk Jones) or turn out to be amazing (Disposable Arts). It turns out though that this album is not a concept album, really. I think of concept album in terms of telling one complete story, like The Who's Tommy. This album is basically cut into 3 parts- part 1 is T.I.P, part 2 is T.I and part 3 is them fighting each other essentially. The problem persists though that T.I does not create specific voices for his 2 personalities. Yes, T.I.P is supposed to be the more street or more wild and arrogant, but his T.I persona spits the same cocky lyrics as T.I.P so it fails in that aspect. So as a cohesive album it doesn't do what it is supposed to do, but is it a good album, well we shall see.
Act 1- This is supposed to introduce us to the wild T.I.P and it works as an album opening because it is a beat that wets the appetite of any listener because it is ripe for an emcee to tear up. T.I rocks it pretty well over the track and I feel like maybe this was a good purchase. His swagger is ever present and his flow works perfectly here. 3.5/5
Big Shit poppin- The lead single off the album with the big catchy hook and T.I.P proclaiming he has taken over T.I. The song is your typical braggadocios type track and it reminds me that rap is the only genre where they spend time talking about how their last album did. Not a bad song, but after 2 straight tracks of that cocky swagger I fear the rest of the album is just the same. 3.5/5
Raw- The first bad track so far. The beat is lazy and T.I follows suit with a lazy flow. Actually it is the same flow as he always uses, just doesn't have any energy behind it. More of the same "I'm rich and good and you aren't me" stuff and I begin to doubt everyone who tells me T.I is good. 1/5
You know what it is- This beat is funky enough to make up for Wyclef's obnoxious accent and the hook is another catchy hook. The beat is kind of an upbeat, stringy track and it makes T.I lighten up on his drawl just enough that you can actually understand what he is saying, but sadly the lyrics are still like this "I had the album of the year, Grammy or not." So far we are four songs in and one topic in. Not a good ratio! 3.5/5
Da Dopeman- Finally something different for the listeners, but in the concept of the T.I.P section it doesn't work, because it is an anti-drug dealing song and that works for T.I not T.I.P. The beat is haunting at first and then it gets bigger, in typical Atlanta rap fashion. I don't think the bigness of the beat really fits the subject of the song, but I like the verse progression. First verse is the beginning of drug dealing, second verse talks about how good it is and then the third verse tells the downfall of drugs dealing. 3.5/5
Watch what you say to me- Jay-z and T.I on the same track? It is going to be an all out swagger fest as the two with the most swagger on the mic team up. The track is about the haters and the beat rides nicely. Jay's verse may not be lyrically his best, but he is all over the track melding his flow with the baseline like they were birthed at the same time. 4/5
Hurt- This sounds like it is the most average track and beat ever, but when the beat gets going it proves to be perfect for the track. It is all over the place and proves to be about the only time T.I really gets up for the beat, but Busta Rhymes steals this track, as he has a habit of doing. While it is your typical gangster posturing, the way Busta's flow runs amok all over the track makes me remember just how dope he can be. 4/5
Act 2- T.I is taking over but it just doesn't make sense at all. The beat is the same as the opening and he is talking to someone over the phone, but I don't know who and it seems pointless. 1/5
Help is coming- When Is aw Just Blaze was producing this track I was excited, until the beat started and gone are the loud horn breaks, replaced by some cheesy organ type sound. The song is about T.I coming to save hip-hop which is laughable because because the only thing he is doing is bragging about how he sold more than anyone else last year. Something he has been doing all album long. 2/5
My swag- Now this should have been the lead single really. The hook is infectious and I hum it for an hour after I listen to it. The beat, while is has a corny 80's synth sound actually works with T.I low mumble and it is a good contrast to Wyclef's wannabe singing. The song is about his swagger and it works here because that is the topic of the actual song. I am not sure why I like this but I think it is my favorite song on the album. 5/5
We do this- Another bouncy beat and bouncy flow from T.I but at this point I am just tired of listening to him talk about how much stuff he can buy and how cool he is. His swagger just doesn't impress me at this point because it seems obvious it is all he has. 2/5, but the beat gets a 4/5
Show it to me- This starts off as a very slow piano beat but then quickly turns into a horn heavy stripper like anthem. Nelly shows up on the help out spitting possibly his best verse ever. Granted Nelly isn't a lyrical genius but considering he has been making crappy ballad like songs the last few years it is nice to hear him let loose on sexing up a girl. T.I does alright here as well and I am sure this will be the second or third single off the album. Nothing new or special here except Nelly's delivery is actually nice here. 3.5/5
Don't you wanna be high- Is this a weed anthem or an airplane song? Well it is both but the beat is lazy like a weed anthem and I was over this song very early. Pure filler track. 0/5
Touchdown- Eminem's production is always very spotty and here it works for me, but I understand if it doesn't work for everyone else. I do wish Eminem would stop rapping with this faux southern drawl. If Eminem would take things seriously he could get his mojo back but instead he sleeps his way through his verse, even if it is a funny take on the typical "car anthem." T.I rips his last verse and both ride over the beat nicely. In fact, Eminem seems to be more focused on riding beats these days because he usually does it well. T.I kills me with this line "So excuse me Oprah honey I'm sorry and I promise but niggas, bitches and hoes do exist."3/5
Act 3- like act two it isn't really worth reviewing
Tell em I said that- I am 100% positive this beat was jacked from Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a bottle." That being said, yes the song is really that corny. T.I tries his best to come hard on it and the producer tries his hardest to hide the corny melody by throwing all kinds of random ass stupid sounds on it. This is a song about how hard and true he is when every other rapper is a fake. 1/5
Respect the Hustle- Wow, this is about as bad as a song can be. The hook is spelled out in a way that would make Fergie jealous. T.I and T.I.P are both on this track but I dare you to tell where one ends and the other one starts. Yes, T.I/T.I.P are rapping about respecting their grind. big freaking deal. That is what the rest of the album is supposed to be doing anyway. 1/5
My type- After 16 tracks of ballin', T.I finally lets his guard down for a brief moment and he ruins it by talking over the track, with his cockiness, talking about how you'll never forget him because of how hot he is. The verses aren't half bad and his swagger is almost fully contained and he nearly sounds genuine, but it is too little too late here. 3/5
This could have been a good album, I think. If he lost the gimmick and trimmed the track listing down he could have had an album with pretty good replay value. As it is though, it is album with too many tracks I have to skip to be a good summer, riding in my car album and it becomes the first bad album I have actually spent money on in quite some time.
Act 1- This is supposed to introduce us to the wild T.I.P and it works as an album opening because it is a beat that wets the appetite of any listener because it is ripe for an emcee to tear up. T.I rocks it pretty well over the track and I feel like maybe this was a good purchase. His swagger is ever present and his flow works perfectly here. 3.5/5
Big Shit poppin- The lead single off the album with the big catchy hook and T.I.P proclaiming he has taken over T.I. The song is your typical braggadocios type track and it reminds me that rap is the only genre where they spend time talking about how their last album did. Not a bad song, but after 2 straight tracks of that cocky swagger I fear the rest of the album is just the same. 3.5/5
Raw- The first bad track so far. The beat is lazy and T.I follows suit with a lazy flow. Actually it is the same flow as he always uses, just doesn't have any energy behind it. More of the same "I'm rich and good and you aren't me" stuff and I begin to doubt everyone who tells me T.I is good. 1/5
You know what it is- This beat is funky enough to make up for Wyclef's obnoxious accent and the hook is another catchy hook. The beat is kind of an upbeat, stringy track and it makes T.I lighten up on his drawl just enough that you can actually understand what he is saying, but sadly the lyrics are still like this "I had the album of the year, Grammy or not." So far we are four songs in and one topic in. Not a good ratio! 3.5/5
Da Dopeman- Finally something different for the listeners, but in the concept of the T.I.P section it doesn't work, because it is an anti-drug dealing song and that works for T.I not T.I.P. The beat is haunting at first and then it gets bigger, in typical Atlanta rap fashion. I don't think the bigness of the beat really fits the subject of the song, but I like the verse progression. First verse is the beginning of drug dealing, second verse talks about how good it is and then the third verse tells the downfall of drugs dealing. 3.5/5
Watch what you say to me- Jay-z and T.I on the same track? It is going to be an all out swagger fest as the two with the most swagger on the mic team up. The track is about the haters and the beat rides nicely. Jay's verse may not be lyrically his best, but he is all over the track melding his flow with the baseline like they were birthed at the same time. 4/5
Hurt- This sounds like it is the most average track and beat ever, but when the beat gets going it proves to be perfect for the track. It is all over the place and proves to be about the only time T.I really gets up for the beat, but Busta Rhymes steals this track, as he has a habit of doing. While it is your typical gangster posturing, the way Busta's flow runs amok all over the track makes me remember just how dope he can be. 4/5
Act 2- T.I is taking over but it just doesn't make sense at all. The beat is the same as the opening and he is talking to someone over the phone, but I don't know who and it seems pointless. 1/5
Help is coming- When Is aw Just Blaze was producing this track I was excited, until the beat started and gone are the loud horn breaks, replaced by some cheesy organ type sound. The song is about T.I coming to save hip-hop which is laughable because because the only thing he is doing is bragging about how he sold more than anyone else last year. Something he has been doing all album long. 2/5
My swag- Now this should have been the lead single really. The hook is infectious and I hum it for an hour after I listen to it. The beat, while is has a corny 80's synth sound actually works with T.I low mumble and it is a good contrast to Wyclef's wannabe singing. The song is about his swagger and it works here because that is the topic of the actual song. I am not sure why I like this but I think it is my favorite song on the album. 5/5
We do this- Another bouncy beat and bouncy flow from T.I but at this point I am just tired of listening to him talk about how much stuff he can buy and how cool he is. His swagger just doesn't impress me at this point because it seems obvious it is all he has. 2/5, but the beat gets a 4/5
Show it to me- This starts off as a very slow piano beat but then quickly turns into a horn heavy stripper like anthem. Nelly shows up on the help out spitting possibly his best verse ever. Granted Nelly isn't a lyrical genius but considering he has been making crappy ballad like songs the last few years it is nice to hear him let loose on sexing up a girl. T.I does alright here as well and I am sure this will be the second or third single off the album. Nothing new or special here except Nelly's delivery is actually nice here. 3.5/5
Don't you wanna be high- Is this a weed anthem or an airplane song? Well it is both but the beat is lazy like a weed anthem and I was over this song very early. Pure filler track. 0/5
Touchdown- Eminem's production is always very spotty and here it works for me, but I understand if it doesn't work for everyone else. I do wish Eminem would stop rapping with this faux southern drawl. If Eminem would take things seriously he could get his mojo back but instead he sleeps his way through his verse, even if it is a funny take on the typical "car anthem." T.I rips his last verse and both ride over the beat nicely. In fact, Eminem seems to be more focused on riding beats these days because he usually does it well. T.I kills me with this line "So excuse me Oprah honey I'm sorry and I promise but niggas, bitches and hoes do exist."3/5
Act 3- like act two it isn't really worth reviewing
Tell em I said that- I am 100% positive this beat was jacked from Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a bottle." That being said, yes the song is really that corny. T.I tries his best to come hard on it and the producer tries his hardest to hide the corny melody by throwing all kinds of random ass stupid sounds on it. This is a song about how hard and true he is when every other rapper is a fake. 1/5
Respect the Hustle- Wow, this is about as bad as a song can be. The hook is spelled out in a way that would make Fergie jealous. T.I and T.I.P are both on this track but I dare you to tell where one ends and the other one starts. Yes, T.I/T.I.P are rapping about respecting their grind. big freaking deal. That is what the rest of the album is supposed to be doing anyway. 1/5
My type- After 16 tracks of ballin', T.I finally lets his guard down for a brief moment and he ruins it by talking over the track, with his cockiness, talking about how you'll never forget him because of how hot he is. The verses aren't half bad and his swagger is almost fully contained and he nearly sounds genuine, but it is too little too late here. 3/5
This could have been a good album, I think. If he lost the gimmick and trimmed the track listing down he could have had an album with pretty good replay value. As it is though, it is album with too many tracks I have to skip to be a good summer, riding in my car album and it becomes the first bad album I have actually spent money on in quite some time.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Sicko
How does one review a Michael Moore movie? Do you review it based solely on whether you are entertained or moved? Can you give an unbiased review if you either agree or disagree with the man and his methods? Do you just put who he is aside and look specifically at the issue at hand? I really don't know. What I do know is that Michael Moore is trying to raise the level of debate in this country. Sadly, he puts so many people off with his methods that only those who vehemently agree with him will probably even see the movie, so it negates the debating ability of the film. The man himself causes quite a stir in most circles of people. He is a rabble rouser, an overweight, smug, self satisfied man who goes out of his way to ruffle the feather of those on both sides. Is he genuine in his caring for the subjects about which he documents? Yes and no, if you ask me. I felt he really cared about gun control in Bowling For Columbine, but Fahrenheit 9/11 felt like it was only for the money. Of course, that could have been because it just came out too early. At the time of the release of Fahrenheit the country was still mostly solidified around 9/11 and the war on terror. If he had released it today with Bush's approval rating constantly dropping, it might have rung a bit more true, but that is neither here nor there for his new movie.
Sicko is not about those without health insurance as Moore tells us at the beginning. It is for those of us with health insurance. It is for those of us who belong to HMOs. It is for Americans in general. Now, when dealing with a Moore film you know what you are getting yourself into. He may round some numbers up or down to fit what he is doing, but he doesn't just pull things from thin air. He may show worst and best case scenarios to get his point across, but in the end it is almost always very effective and this movie is full of incredibly effective moments. Unlike Columbine and Fahrenheit, Moore is not the main character in this movie. Yes, we here his voice throughout but he lets his subjects get a majority of the screen time here. He travels all over our country, Canada, France, Britain and most famously, Cuba. We hear horror stories of the HMO system from patients, former HMO doctors, HMO call screeners and a few other inside people who are disgusted by what they used to do. Now, I am not sure entirely how I feel about the issue of health care in our country but this movie will make you disgusted by it. We watch a woman break down into a blubbering mess as she recalls her daughter dying in a hospital because it was not an Kaiser hospital and the insurance would not be paying for anything. Then we go to another country where a woman had a kid with the same condition but was able to get help without problem because she lived in France, the country with the best health care. In this movie it seems that some sort of socialized medicine is the best method, although the other side is always quick to point out that the care is usually less than stellar.
The thing in this movie that gets me in the final 35 minutes when Moore introduces us to 9/11 rescue workers and 9/11 volunteers who have health problems due to that horrendous day in our history. Now, one could say that Moore is merely playing on the emotions of the country, but I have to disagree. First of all, when you see Moore with these people you can see how much he cares about our 9/11 heroes. At times Moore comes off smug and pretentious but here is where you see the humane side of him in spades. He is attempting to show us that if our heroes (and make no doubt about it, those who helped in 9/11 are the pure definition of heroes) can't get appropriate care then we are screwed! Now in his glorious stunt at the end of the movie, Moore attempts to take 3 boatloads of people to Guantanamo Bay to get them medical care because the prisoners at that prison are given incredible amounts of health care. It doesn't work, so instead, Moore takes them to a Cuban hospital where the sick people get every test they need, all the medication they need and great service for very cheap. Now, who knows if that is how it usually goes, but considering Cuba is supposed to be the land of Satan, it was a very touching moment to see these 9/11 heroes finally getting the care they needed.
I still believe a debate needs to happen on this issue and I think more people should see this movie. It is quite funny with a great Star Wars bit in there and Moore knows how to effectively use music and sound bites for comic effect. He is a professional at this stuff and this is a very solid movie. I laughed and I teared up. I was outraged when I was supposed to be and I laughed at the audacity of our country when I was supposed to.
Sicko is not about those without health insurance as Moore tells us at the beginning. It is for those of us with health insurance. It is for those of us who belong to HMOs. It is for Americans in general. Now, when dealing with a Moore film you know what you are getting yourself into. He may round some numbers up or down to fit what he is doing, but he doesn't just pull things from thin air. He may show worst and best case scenarios to get his point across, but in the end it is almost always very effective and this movie is full of incredibly effective moments. Unlike Columbine and Fahrenheit, Moore is not the main character in this movie. Yes, we here his voice throughout but he lets his subjects get a majority of the screen time here. He travels all over our country, Canada, France, Britain and most famously, Cuba. We hear horror stories of the HMO system from patients, former HMO doctors, HMO call screeners and a few other inside people who are disgusted by what they used to do. Now, I am not sure entirely how I feel about the issue of health care in our country but this movie will make you disgusted by it. We watch a woman break down into a blubbering mess as she recalls her daughter dying in a hospital because it was not an Kaiser hospital and the insurance would not be paying for anything. Then we go to another country where a woman had a kid with the same condition but was able to get help without problem because she lived in France, the country with the best health care. In this movie it seems that some sort of socialized medicine is the best method, although the other side is always quick to point out that the care is usually less than stellar.
The thing in this movie that gets me in the final 35 minutes when Moore introduces us to 9/11 rescue workers and 9/11 volunteers who have health problems due to that horrendous day in our history. Now, one could say that Moore is merely playing on the emotions of the country, but I have to disagree. First of all, when you see Moore with these people you can see how much he cares about our 9/11 heroes. At times Moore comes off smug and pretentious but here is where you see the humane side of him in spades. He is attempting to show us that if our heroes (and make no doubt about it, those who helped in 9/11 are the pure definition of heroes) can't get appropriate care then we are screwed! Now in his glorious stunt at the end of the movie, Moore attempts to take 3 boatloads of people to Guantanamo Bay to get them medical care because the prisoners at that prison are given incredible amounts of health care. It doesn't work, so instead, Moore takes them to a Cuban hospital where the sick people get every test they need, all the medication they need and great service for very cheap. Now, who knows if that is how it usually goes, but considering Cuba is supposed to be the land of Satan, it was a very touching moment to see these 9/11 heroes finally getting the care they needed.
I still believe a debate needs to happen on this issue and I think more people should see this movie. It is quite funny with a great Star Wars bit in there and Moore knows how to effectively use music and sound bites for comic effect. He is a professional at this stuff and this is a very solid movie. I laughed and I teared up. I was outraged when I was supposed to be and I laughed at the audacity of our country when I was supposed to.
Transformers
My generation of children had 4 cartoons to watch- Transformers, Voltron, Thundercats and G.I Joes- usually you didn't watch all four but you watched some combination of those four shows. Transformers was my favorite cartoon. In 1986 when the animated movie came out, I knew I wanted a day when it could be a live action movie. Of course the effects hadn't really been available at that time, but I never gave up hope that some day I would see a live action Tranformers movie. When there were first rumblings that it would happen I tried to hide my giddy childhood dream but as it became more and more clear that it would happen, I just could not contain my excitement. Then, I heard it would be a Michael Bay movie and got even more excited. Bay, the most critically bashed director in Hollywood (well, maybe Bret Ratner is number 1), is known for big explosions and a hard core focus on effects, so he seemed perfect for Transformers. So, after 2 decades of wanting this, how does the movie measure up? Does Bay deliver another Bad Boys or is it more like Pearl Harbor?
Sam Witwicky (new Hollywood "it" boy Shia LaBeouf) has just bought a car but very quickly he realizes it is not just any car. It can drive by itself and eventually turns into a giant robot. See, Sam has something these giant robots want and his new car is his protector. The robots are looking for something called the "allspark.) It is a giant cube thing that brought life to the Transformers and it crash landed on Earth after the destruction of their home planet, Cybertron. The "harbinger of death" as Sam explains is named Megatron, leader of the decepticons and he came looking for the Allspark but crash landed on earth in the North pole and was frozen. he managed to implant a map of where the allspark was inside the glasses of Sam's grandfather and now Sam has those glasses. The Autobots want to keep it out of the hands of Megatron because the cube's power can turn every electronic thing into an evil robot and Megatron wants to rule every planet. That is the basic plot and we have a few sub plots involving a small military unit, Sam's romantic life and some low level government analysts.
In Sam, Shia has created a very likable and charming young man. He never seems off while acting with the giant robots and he helps almost humanize the Autobots, namely Bumblebee, his protector. Megan Fox, his possible girlfriend is not only incredibly hot, but she gives a performance that makes it seem natural that a girl with her hotness would fall for a somewhat nerdy Sam. She isn't that great of an actress, but to be fair, she gets most of the worst lines in the script. The rest of the cast performs their roles just fine but John Turturro is especially fun to watch. He is way over the top but it works in this setting and you just never can tell what the next thing out of his mouth will be. His role crackles with a bumbling over compensating like attitude and brings some great laughs.
But really, is this thing about the acting? The real movie is about the robots. And I am more than happy to relate that they look absolutely stunning! Bay really takes his time with each transformation at first. Optimus Prime (leader of the Autobots) gets this amazing reveal that left the crowd in cheers and claps. The pacing of the movie is incredibly quick but the first time we meet our heroes Bay really lets us soak it all in as each Autobot gets a nice reveal and a matching personality. Bumblebee gets the most personality as a bit of a prankster right off the bat. He uses the radio to communicate and the first scene he gets with Shia and Megan gives off some great laughs. And when Bumblebee gets hurt we feel for him because Shia has helped us believe they are friends. Megatron is a total bad ass and his reveal is awesome as he finally comes to life. The action sequences are beyond anything I have ever seen with one of the autobots in full on Bad Boys mode, rolling, jumping and diving around bullets as he fires his own cannons at a decepticon. The climatic battle is a 40 minute romp through downtown Los Angeles and never lets up as humans and Autobots team up to try and destroy the decepticons.
This movie is very funny (only a few jokes are too childish for my taste) and genuinely good. I mean it is a very solid movie. Easily the best Michael Bay movie and one of the best movies I have seen this year. It is a very fun thrilling ride from start to finish and it could easily be the next wave of CGI. Like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings before it, these effects are above and beyond anything before it. My only complaints in this movie are that some of the editing is a little too quick to get a full grasp of what is going on and I would have liked to see more of the decepticons, specifically StarScream, but the complaints are so minor that they did not at all deter me from enjoying this movie 100%. It may have been a 20 year wait but wow was it ever worth it. I could not have even imagined it being this good and when Peter Cullen (the only voice of Optimus Prime, ever) first started speaking in the voice over at the beginning I had goosebumps and transformed myself into the 8 year old who used to bubble over with joy when watching Transformers. Also, all of my favorite sayings were in the movie and the end had that moral moment Optimus is known for giving us. It may come off a bit cheesy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you Michael Bay for bringing a 20 year old dream to life and thank you for making it about as awesome as a movie can possibly be!
Sam Witwicky (new Hollywood "it" boy Shia LaBeouf) has just bought a car but very quickly he realizes it is not just any car. It can drive by itself and eventually turns into a giant robot. See, Sam has something these giant robots want and his new car is his protector. The robots are looking for something called the "allspark.) It is a giant cube thing that brought life to the Transformers and it crash landed on Earth after the destruction of their home planet, Cybertron. The "harbinger of death" as Sam explains is named Megatron, leader of the decepticons and he came looking for the Allspark but crash landed on earth in the North pole and was frozen. he managed to implant a map of where the allspark was inside the glasses of Sam's grandfather and now Sam has those glasses. The Autobots want to keep it out of the hands of Megatron because the cube's power can turn every electronic thing into an evil robot and Megatron wants to rule every planet. That is the basic plot and we have a few sub plots involving a small military unit, Sam's romantic life and some low level government analysts.
In Sam, Shia has created a very likable and charming young man. He never seems off while acting with the giant robots and he helps almost humanize the Autobots, namely Bumblebee, his protector. Megan Fox, his possible girlfriend is not only incredibly hot, but she gives a performance that makes it seem natural that a girl with her hotness would fall for a somewhat nerdy Sam. She isn't that great of an actress, but to be fair, she gets most of the worst lines in the script. The rest of the cast performs their roles just fine but John Turturro is especially fun to watch. He is way over the top but it works in this setting and you just never can tell what the next thing out of his mouth will be. His role crackles with a bumbling over compensating like attitude and brings some great laughs.
But really, is this thing about the acting? The real movie is about the robots. And I am more than happy to relate that they look absolutely stunning! Bay really takes his time with each transformation at first. Optimus Prime (leader of the Autobots) gets this amazing reveal that left the crowd in cheers and claps. The pacing of the movie is incredibly quick but the first time we meet our heroes Bay really lets us soak it all in as each Autobot gets a nice reveal and a matching personality. Bumblebee gets the most personality as a bit of a prankster right off the bat. He uses the radio to communicate and the first scene he gets with Shia and Megan gives off some great laughs. And when Bumblebee gets hurt we feel for him because Shia has helped us believe they are friends. Megatron is a total bad ass and his reveal is awesome as he finally comes to life. The action sequences are beyond anything I have ever seen with one of the autobots in full on Bad Boys mode, rolling, jumping and diving around bullets as he fires his own cannons at a decepticon. The climatic battle is a 40 minute romp through downtown Los Angeles and never lets up as humans and Autobots team up to try and destroy the decepticons.
This movie is very funny (only a few jokes are too childish for my taste) and genuinely good. I mean it is a very solid movie. Easily the best Michael Bay movie and one of the best movies I have seen this year. It is a very fun thrilling ride from start to finish and it could easily be the next wave of CGI. Like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings before it, these effects are above and beyond anything before it. My only complaints in this movie are that some of the editing is a little too quick to get a full grasp of what is going on and I would have liked to see more of the decepticons, specifically StarScream, but the complaints are so minor that they did not at all deter me from enjoying this movie 100%. It may have been a 20 year wait but wow was it ever worth it. I could not have even imagined it being this good and when Peter Cullen (the only voice of Optimus Prime, ever) first started speaking in the voice over at the beginning I had goosebumps and transformed myself into the 8 year old who used to bubble over with joy when watching Transformers. Also, all of my favorite sayings were in the movie and the end had that moral moment Optimus is known for giving us. It may come off a bit cheesy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you Michael Bay for bringing a 20 year old dream to life and thank you for making it about as awesome as a movie can possibly be!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Life free or Die Hard (possible spoilers)
In 1988 when the first Die Hard came out, Bruce Willis was a sitcom star and nothing more. His list of credits was minimal and somehow he won the role of John McClane for which he was 5th choice after Richard Gere, Arnold, Stallone and Burt Reynolds. Yet when the movie came out the role, the actor and the villain were instantly iconic. Willis brought back the every man action star, the blue collar action star. His stoic face, cheesy but bad ass one liners and not-afraid-to-bleed attitude turned the movie into an instant classic. Whether it was walking over broken glass with no shoes or uttering the now infamous phrase "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker" Willis changed the landscape of the action genre. The movie was over the top but not so over the top that it was ridiculous. In the sequel things got too over the top and in the third movie things got good again as Willis and Sam Jackson verbally sparred through the whole movie, but is the world really needing a new entry into the Die Hard franchise? Does Bruce Willis still have it in him to be a real American hero, or is he lost in a techno-babble world? With the last movie happening 12 years ago, does anyone care anymore? Is there any reason to make a pg-13 version of die hard?
McClane is back and in the first scene we see that not much has really changed- he is still estranged from his family, still a cop, but his usual sarcasm has been replaced by a more cynical approach to one-liners. His daughter Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) wants nothing to do with him and McClane is all alone. After a brief and harsh conversation with his daughter, McClane gets a call from the precinct that he needs to go pick up a hacker and take him to F.B.I headquarters. See, the F.B.I got hacked the night before and it is time to wrangle the usual suspects. McClane shows up expecting nothing big but it is obvious he is about to get more than he bargained for. Matt Farrell (Justin Long) is our hacker but someone is out to kill him. MClane shows up at just the right time and we have our first pg-13 Die Hard action scene. Don't worry though, Mcclane still knows how to shoot and we get one doozy of a gun fight. It is loud, furious and awesome. Willis never loses his stoic face or his one liners, but this time he has a snarky side kick and Long gets some serious laughs throughout the movie.
We learn that these cyber-terrorists are doing what is known as a "fire sale" meaning everything has got to go. First, they take out street lights and what not, forcing all kinds of traffic collisions and is an interesting take on the cyber thriller genre. Then, the power and everything else goes and finally all the money will be gone and America will be thrown back to the stone age. Not wanting to reveal who they are, the terrorists broadcast a video tape that id basically a collage of speeches from Presidents cut together to form one horrific message. It is a stroke of political thriller genius as it would be crazy terrifying to see our own presidents dooming us as a nation. Farrell also realizes that 7 other hackers have been killed and they were his competition as they were all vying for money to create algorithms but he didn't realize what they would be used for. McClane takes this young hacker under his wing and they spend the movie attempting to stop this massive shut down in America. They learn that the terrorist is Thomas Gabriel (Timyothy Olyphant), an ex department of defense employee who after 9/11 told all of the countries leaders that their security system could be breached and that they needed to fix it. They crucified him and he is back with a vengeance proving his theory.
Look, this movie is over the top yes, but it is non stop action packed, with some genuinely funny moments between Willis and Long. Yes their relationship starts like a typical mismatched movie pairing but it works because McClane never stops for even a second to care about the cyber stuff. McClane is old school and the action is old school. SO many action movie feature only people who are very skilled fighters and here, McClane is not and he gets his ass handed to him by a "little Asian ninja chick." But, after the ass kicking he proclaims "That's enough of this kung-fu shit" and he goes to do what he does best which is he makes a mess but gets the job done. The fight between he and Mai Lihn (Maggie Q) is a very fun fight and ends in an elevator shaft (classic Die Hard set piece). This movie is full of awesome testosterone filled gun fights, one-liners and violence. The death toll is higher here than in previous Die Hard flicks and McClane even wonders in conversation with Gabriel "Do you just call a hot line like 1-800- henchmen, because you gotta be running out of bad guys."
There are some stunts that seem a bit too over the top like driving a car into a helicopter but the absolute glee Willis exudes makes it work because he seems just as surprised as us that it worked. This is not a carefully crafted action star we are talking about, this is Bruce Willis, this is John McClane, the Jack Bauer of movies. Olyphant is very good as the a villain for the new era, but he is hindered by the fact that Alan Rickman from the first Die Hard may be the best movie action villain ever. Willis is just as unflappable here as he is in every Die Hard movie and has not really lost a step. He still takes a punch, kick and a bullet better than anyone. he still looks better with cuts on his face and head than anyone else and he still hits iconic movie star poses that let us know McClane is still a bad ass. Justin Long is in full snarky effect, with his smarter than you one-liners and sneaky under his breath one-liners. He doesn't quite make the cut as an action movie buddy, but he doesn't feel as out of place as he could. Kevin Smith shows up for a cameo as "Warlock" an infamous Internet hacker and he knocks it out of the park with his wirey balled up energy right next to Willis' contained action star energy. His presence gives the movie a shot in the arm and takes a scene that could have been boring and flips it on its head. The Climax is a bit ridiculous but the stunts are good old fashioned throw back action stunts. The CGI is minimal but effectively used. Lucy shows up again in the last half hour and is awesome as McClane's daughter. She captures the no nonsense hard ass McClane attitude and shows us that the helpless McClane women have been replaced by tough ready to rumble chicks. We still get the iconic line, even if smothered a bit by a great tough guy gun shot, but the pg-13 rating does not take away from an action movie that knows exactly what it is and does not apologize for being a guy movie through and through and sometimes you just want to watch a guy escape death 5 times in a movie and still be ready for more and this movie delivers in spades!
McClane is back and in the first scene we see that not much has really changed- he is still estranged from his family, still a cop, but his usual sarcasm has been replaced by a more cynical approach to one-liners. His daughter Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) wants nothing to do with him and McClane is all alone. After a brief and harsh conversation with his daughter, McClane gets a call from the precinct that he needs to go pick up a hacker and take him to F.B.I headquarters. See, the F.B.I got hacked the night before and it is time to wrangle the usual suspects. McClane shows up expecting nothing big but it is obvious he is about to get more than he bargained for. Matt Farrell (Justin Long) is our hacker but someone is out to kill him. MClane shows up at just the right time and we have our first pg-13 Die Hard action scene. Don't worry though, Mcclane still knows how to shoot and we get one doozy of a gun fight. It is loud, furious and awesome. Willis never loses his stoic face or his one liners, but this time he has a snarky side kick and Long gets some serious laughs throughout the movie.
We learn that these cyber-terrorists are doing what is known as a "fire sale" meaning everything has got to go. First, they take out street lights and what not, forcing all kinds of traffic collisions and is an interesting take on the cyber thriller genre. Then, the power and everything else goes and finally all the money will be gone and America will be thrown back to the stone age. Not wanting to reveal who they are, the terrorists broadcast a video tape that id basically a collage of speeches from Presidents cut together to form one horrific message. It is a stroke of political thriller genius as it would be crazy terrifying to see our own presidents dooming us as a nation. Farrell also realizes that 7 other hackers have been killed and they were his competition as they were all vying for money to create algorithms but he didn't realize what they would be used for. McClane takes this young hacker under his wing and they spend the movie attempting to stop this massive shut down in America. They learn that the terrorist is Thomas Gabriel (Timyothy Olyphant), an ex department of defense employee who after 9/11 told all of the countries leaders that their security system could be breached and that they needed to fix it. They crucified him and he is back with a vengeance proving his theory.
Look, this movie is over the top yes, but it is non stop action packed, with some genuinely funny moments between Willis and Long. Yes their relationship starts like a typical mismatched movie pairing but it works because McClane never stops for even a second to care about the cyber stuff. McClane is old school and the action is old school. SO many action movie feature only people who are very skilled fighters and here, McClane is not and he gets his ass handed to him by a "little Asian ninja chick." But, after the ass kicking he proclaims "That's enough of this kung-fu shit" and he goes to do what he does best which is he makes a mess but gets the job done. The fight between he and Mai Lihn (Maggie Q) is a very fun fight and ends in an elevator shaft (classic Die Hard set piece). This movie is full of awesome testosterone filled gun fights, one-liners and violence. The death toll is higher here than in previous Die Hard flicks and McClane even wonders in conversation with Gabriel "Do you just call a hot line like 1-800- henchmen, because you gotta be running out of bad guys."
There are some stunts that seem a bit too over the top like driving a car into a helicopter but the absolute glee Willis exudes makes it work because he seems just as surprised as us that it worked. This is not a carefully crafted action star we are talking about, this is Bruce Willis, this is John McClane, the Jack Bauer of movies. Olyphant is very good as the a villain for the new era, but he is hindered by the fact that Alan Rickman from the first Die Hard may be the best movie action villain ever. Willis is just as unflappable here as he is in every Die Hard movie and has not really lost a step. He still takes a punch, kick and a bullet better than anyone. he still looks better with cuts on his face and head than anyone else and he still hits iconic movie star poses that let us know McClane is still a bad ass. Justin Long is in full snarky effect, with his smarter than you one-liners and sneaky under his breath one-liners. He doesn't quite make the cut as an action movie buddy, but he doesn't feel as out of place as he could. Kevin Smith shows up for a cameo as "Warlock" an infamous Internet hacker and he knocks it out of the park with his wirey balled up energy right next to Willis' contained action star energy. His presence gives the movie a shot in the arm and takes a scene that could have been boring and flips it on its head. The Climax is a bit ridiculous but the stunts are good old fashioned throw back action stunts. The CGI is minimal but effectively used. Lucy shows up again in the last half hour and is awesome as McClane's daughter. She captures the no nonsense hard ass McClane attitude and shows us that the helpless McClane women have been replaced by tough ready to rumble chicks. We still get the iconic line, even if smothered a bit by a great tough guy gun shot, but the pg-13 rating does not take away from an action movie that knows exactly what it is and does not apologize for being a guy movie through and through and sometimes you just want to watch a guy escape death 5 times in a movie and still be ready for more and this movie delivers in spades!
Monday, June 25, 2007
A Mighty Heart
Usually when a little movie appears in the middle of summer, they provide a nice alternative to the usual big budget summer offerings, but this movie just feels badly placed. A movie dealing with terrorism in a very raw, real and intense way does not belong in the middle of June. It belongs towards the end of the year when it can get the buzz it deserves for its actors and its story. For those of you who don't know the story allow me to quickly recap for you. Mariane Pearl is a journalist for a free radio station and her husband Daniel Pearl works for the Wall Street Journal. They have spent the post 9/11 months in parts of the Middle East covering various aspects of war, terror and the overall feelings of these countries. The day before they are set to return to the states Daniel has one last interview but he never returns. Mariane is pregnant and trying to keep it together as the F.B.I, C.I.A, Pakistani government, Pakistani military and Pakistani police all gather together trying to find him. At first they have no idea what is going on but they start to get e-mails from the kidnappers featuring pictures of Daniel bound at gunpoint. The kidnappers say they will mistreat him the way American prisons (like Guantanamo bay) are mistreating possible terrorists. As the story unfolds it becomes clear that Pearl was targeted and not just a random American kidnap victim. The Terrorist Pakistanis believe Pearl to actually be working for the C.I.A. The story mostly follows Mariane's attempt to solve this case, but woven in are scenes of the Pakistani police force utilizing their scare tactics to find out who is behind this. It is also told in a non-linear fashion as we get flashbacks to earlier in the week, earlier the day he is kidnapped and Mariane has flashbacks to happy times in the marriage.
Angelina Jolie is Mariane Pearl and she is outstanding. It is always nice to see why someone got famous int he first place. So often we forget some of these tabloid subjects are actually incredibly talented when they choose good material. Gone is wanna be action star Angelina Jolie. She is replaced by a Jolie who acts with her entire body but mostly relying on her face to express an intense sadness or an intense warmth as she remembers her husband. Pearl was pregnant at the time of this and so it adds a certain uneasy element as we watch Pearl try to hold it all together in fear that if she lets go something bad could happen to the child. Dan Futterman plays Daniel whom we mostly see in flashbacks and while he isn't on screen much he gives a very earnest honest portrayal of a journalist, not a tabloid reporter but a real journalist. Everyone else is solid in the movie but the other stand out to me was Archie Panjabi. She played a friend and colleague of the two reporters and she carried the brunt of the emotional load because Mariane had that pregnancy.
This is a movie with a lot of themes- journalism as a noble art, the differences between American and Pakistani police force, terrorism, love, loyalty- are captured in stark fashion as the movie is filmed in sort of a documentary form, using a hand held camera often shoved right in the faces of the actors. It is mostly effective although during the few moments of action it becomes difficult to tell who on is whose side because the camera start to only capture blurry figures crossing the screen.
Sadly this does not have a very happy ending as Daniel was beheaded and since this is a very honest movie not interested in cheap thrills we never see it. We only see the reactions on the faces of those who have seen it (a very effective method). After his death Mariane, ever the journalist would not put blame on an entire country like a reporter baited her to do, she just told the world she loved her husband very much and even as I type this it fills me with a morose sense of happiness that this woman could rise above the pettiness so many of us would feel. A reporter also had the nerve to ask her if she had watched the tape which is just disgusting but not out of the realm of something a TV reporter would do as our country thrives on that sort of voyeuristic sense of life. Jolie plays Pearl's one major breakdown a bit over the top, but imagine it is how anyone would react if they had been holding in the obvious pain for a few months. The camera only catches glimpses of her as she screams and cries and as i watched those around me, everyone was fully engrossed and fully emotional. It is sad that this movie is being plopped into the summer where people do not want something so heavy but please please please pick this up when it comes out on DVD.
Angelina Jolie is Mariane Pearl and she is outstanding. It is always nice to see why someone got famous int he first place. So often we forget some of these tabloid subjects are actually incredibly talented when they choose good material. Gone is wanna be action star Angelina Jolie. She is replaced by a Jolie who acts with her entire body but mostly relying on her face to express an intense sadness or an intense warmth as she remembers her husband. Pearl was pregnant at the time of this and so it adds a certain uneasy element as we watch Pearl try to hold it all together in fear that if she lets go something bad could happen to the child. Dan Futterman plays Daniel whom we mostly see in flashbacks and while he isn't on screen much he gives a very earnest honest portrayal of a journalist, not a tabloid reporter but a real journalist. Everyone else is solid in the movie but the other stand out to me was Archie Panjabi. She played a friend and colleague of the two reporters and she carried the brunt of the emotional load because Mariane had that pregnancy.
This is a movie with a lot of themes- journalism as a noble art, the differences between American and Pakistani police force, terrorism, love, loyalty- are captured in stark fashion as the movie is filmed in sort of a documentary form, using a hand held camera often shoved right in the faces of the actors. It is mostly effective although during the few moments of action it becomes difficult to tell who on is whose side because the camera start to only capture blurry figures crossing the screen.
Sadly this does not have a very happy ending as Daniel was beheaded and since this is a very honest movie not interested in cheap thrills we never see it. We only see the reactions on the faces of those who have seen it (a very effective method). After his death Mariane, ever the journalist would not put blame on an entire country like a reporter baited her to do, she just told the world she loved her husband very much and even as I type this it fills me with a morose sense of happiness that this woman could rise above the pettiness so many of us would feel. A reporter also had the nerve to ask her if she had watched the tape which is just disgusting but not out of the realm of something a TV reporter would do as our country thrives on that sort of voyeuristic sense of life. Jolie plays Pearl's one major breakdown a bit over the top, but imagine it is how anyone would react if they had been holding in the obvious pain for a few months. The camera only catches glimpses of her as she screams and cries and as i watched those around me, everyone was fully engrossed and fully emotional. It is sad that this movie is being plopped into the summer where people do not want something so heavy but please please please pick this up when it comes out on DVD.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
1408 (minor spoilers)
John Cusack is an actor who defined an entire generation of love sick, semi sarcastic young men. He turned a possible stalker moment in Say Anything into one hell of a romantic if not a bit corny moment. In the late 90's and the beginning of this decade he reemerged as a prototype slacker in his 30's, again defining a generation with movies like High Fidelity. He has a certain unassuming charm that plays perfectly into his natural good looks and has made quite the career for himself. Stephen King is probably the most famous American author living and has had a considerable amount of his fiction turned into movies. Mostly they are awful when based on his scary fiction but in turning his short stories into movies, Hollywood usually does alright by him. I am not so much a fan of Mr. King but I am a big fan of John Cusack and from the first trailer I knew this was a movie I wanted to see.
Mike Enslin (Cusack) is an author who travels the country finding the scariest places, debunking paranormal myths and writing books about his excursions. We also know there is some tragedy looming in his past but the movie does not immediately divulge this past. Instead we catch glimpses of this past in nicely placed flashbacks weaved throughout the terse frightening moments. It actually provides a very nice balance throughout. Enslin is disillusioned with God and the afterlife due to this tragedy and after once writing a novel called The long road home he gives up these sort of coming of age novels in favor of this shock and awe type of book. He is often sent brochures and postcards from "haunted" hotels and comes across a postcard that just states "Don't enter 1408." When he realizes the digits add up to 13 he is a bit intrigued and sets out to stay there. When he calls to get the room the hotel staff refuses to let him stay in that room and Enslin has to resort to a possible lawsuit to get him in. He researches the place to find about 20 suicides in the room. When he gets to the hotel he is met by Gerald Olin (Samuel L. Jackson) and is again asked not to enter this room. Olin is the manager of the hotel where this room is and he gives Enslin an entire packet full of material about the room. Counting "natural" deaths, 55 people have died in the room. After a brief, somewhat humorous conversation between the two Enslin remains unmoved and says that no paranormal activity will keep him out to which Olin says "I didn't say anything about paranormal activity, it is just an evil fucking room." Therein lies the premise of the movie.
Once inside the room this movie becomes a raw, creepy, scary and unnerving tale of one mans struggle to stay alive. Ghosts haunts the room, the clock radio comes on at random moments really scaring the crap out Enslin and the audience. At first Enslin believes the hotel is playing tricks on him and then he believes the alcohol Olin gave him is spiked with some sort of hallucinogen as he sees and hears the most random haunting things including old home footage from Enslins life. Thus begins the weaving of the flashbacks. We find a happy Enslin with a wife and daughter, but soon that happiness turns to sadness as his daughter is diagnosed with a terminal illness and ultimately dies. At different moments he sees or hears his dead daughter in the room, tries to communicate with his estranged wife via yahoo video messenger only to have the room take over.
For the first 40 minutes or so inside the hotel room this movie is an edge-of-the-seat thriller as we wonder what he will see or hear next. We wonder if these ghosts are real or figments of an overactive imagination. The room haunts the mind of Enslin, but we are never sure exactly what the room is. Unfortunately the movies gets tripped up by the usual Stephen King issue- it just goes too far. The room's climate gets insane as he endures a blizzard, a flood and an earthquake and as the movie continues on it just gets more and more over the top. Cusack does his best to reel the movie back in but even he gets lost in this grandiose smug attitude that King has been living sweetly off of for so many years. We never get the answer we want, although we mostly get the ending we hope for and while watching an innocent child die and then turn to a skull and bones and ultimately bust is disturbing, it isn't terribly effective because it doesn't keep with the theme that the movie started with. It starts with less is more and ends with too much is too much.
Mike Enslin (Cusack) is an author who travels the country finding the scariest places, debunking paranormal myths and writing books about his excursions. We also know there is some tragedy looming in his past but the movie does not immediately divulge this past. Instead we catch glimpses of this past in nicely placed flashbacks weaved throughout the terse frightening moments. It actually provides a very nice balance throughout. Enslin is disillusioned with God and the afterlife due to this tragedy and after once writing a novel called The long road home he gives up these sort of coming of age novels in favor of this shock and awe type of book. He is often sent brochures and postcards from "haunted" hotels and comes across a postcard that just states "Don't enter 1408." When he realizes the digits add up to 13 he is a bit intrigued and sets out to stay there. When he calls to get the room the hotel staff refuses to let him stay in that room and Enslin has to resort to a possible lawsuit to get him in. He researches the place to find about 20 suicides in the room. When he gets to the hotel he is met by Gerald Olin (Samuel L. Jackson) and is again asked not to enter this room. Olin is the manager of the hotel where this room is and he gives Enslin an entire packet full of material about the room. Counting "natural" deaths, 55 people have died in the room. After a brief, somewhat humorous conversation between the two Enslin remains unmoved and says that no paranormal activity will keep him out to which Olin says "I didn't say anything about paranormal activity, it is just an evil fucking room." Therein lies the premise of the movie.
Once inside the room this movie becomes a raw, creepy, scary and unnerving tale of one mans struggle to stay alive. Ghosts haunts the room, the clock radio comes on at random moments really scaring the crap out Enslin and the audience. At first Enslin believes the hotel is playing tricks on him and then he believes the alcohol Olin gave him is spiked with some sort of hallucinogen as he sees and hears the most random haunting things including old home footage from Enslins life. Thus begins the weaving of the flashbacks. We find a happy Enslin with a wife and daughter, but soon that happiness turns to sadness as his daughter is diagnosed with a terminal illness and ultimately dies. At different moments he sees or hears his dead daughter in the room, tries to communicate with his estranged wife via yahoo video messenger only to have the room take over.
For the first 40 minutes or so inside the hotel room this movie is an edge-of-the-seat thriller as we wonder what he will see or hear next. We wonder if these ghosts are real or figments of an overactive imagination. The room haunts the mind of Enslin, but we are never sure exactly what the room is. Unfortunately the movies gets tripped up by the usual Stephen King issue- it just goes too far. The room's climate gets insane as he endures a blizzard, a flood and an earthquake and as the movie continues on it just gets more and more over the top. Cusack does his best to reel the movie back in but even he gets lost in this grandiose smug attitude that King has been living sweetly off of for so many years. We never get the answer we want, although we mostly get the ending we hope for and while watching an innocent child die and then turn to a skull and bones and ultimately bust is disturbing, it isn't terribly effective because it doesn't keep with the theme that the movie started with. It starts with less is more and ends with too much is too much.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Hostel 2 (Spoilers)
Say what you will but no one does Torture porn like Eli Roth. Those Saw movies are just blatant rip offs of other movies and they suck, but Eli Roth knows what he is doing. Two years ago Hostel opened to unheard of numbers for a movie of its kind and was a movie I really enjoyed on a deeper level than the torture, although the torture was spectacular. So, it is really obvious he was going to take another stab at Hostel hoping to franchise this thing. The differences in the two movies are not subtle, although this one lacks the punch of the first one. Yes, the torture is there, but there is nothing as brutal as the Achilles slicing of the last one. However, this one does have an ass kicking chick in the lead because having guys do it again would be pointless. This movie also gives some focus to the people doing the killing as we watch the process of setting up the marks, the bidding and the mindset of the people paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to torture and kill people.
Beth, Lorna and Whitney are Americans on some sort of art over seas program and they are bored and want to take a trip. Beth is incredibly wealthy but she doesn't want to show it off so when they get invited by the incredibly sexy model, Axelle, they agree to stay in a Hostel. This is the beginning of the end for this trio of girls. See, the entire village of Slovakia is in on the business of killing. Well, they don't kill but they capture innocent young people and sell them to the highest bidder. They provide weapons, costumes and a place to torture and kill them. Their only rule is that you must kill someone before you leave. If you try and leave before finishing your job they sick the vicious dogs on you and the end result is not pretty at all. Like the first movie, we watch the trio of girls being picked off and Lorna is the first to go. She was sold to an older woman who likes to bathe in blood. Yes, and she accomplishes this with some sort of Grim Reaper like Sickle. The scene is brutal and heart pounding because even though I knew this girl was going to bleed out eventually, Roth deliberately slowed the pacing down so we were hanging on each movement of the blade down this poor girl's back.
The focus will often switch to two American men, played by Desperate Housewives alum and they get to kill Beth and Whitney. Todd and Stuart are two normal looking guys but secretly they want to kill. Todd feels excited by the prospect but Stuart is not quite sure he can do this. Do you get where this is going? The worst moment in this film is when it turns into so many other movies where the loud excited one can't go through with it. See, he puts a power saw into Whitney's face after a truly hilarious moment and he flips out, and the aforementioned dogs clean him up. Stuart though is ready to kill, mostly because Beth looks like his wife and it is obvious Stuart does not stand up for himself. Beth does a pretty good job of realizing this and submits to him, hoping to distract him. It works and the end of this film brings yet another interesting insight to who Eli Roth is what he believe about the human race. See, Beth buys her way out because money can truly buy everything. However, she has to kill before she can be let go and she slices Stuarts fake looking penis off, feeds it to the dogs and coldly says "Let him bleed to death." In true Hostel fashion she also gets back and Axelle by taking an ancient battle axe to her neck and taking hr head clean off. Again, Eli Roth proves that if given the option to just get away or to kill the one who made your life hell, human beings will always go for the kill! This is not as good as the first one because it doesn't quite have the same feeling as it. My heart didn't race nearly as much here and I didn't cringe as much, but there are still enough gore moments to satisfy my gore quotient.
Beth, Lorna and Whitney are Americans on some sort of art over seas program and they are bored and want to take a trip. Beth is incredibly wealthy but she doesn't want to show it off so when they get invited by the incredibly sexy model, Axelle, they agree to stay in a Hostel. This is the beginning of the end for this trio of girls. See, the entire village of Slovakia is in on the business of killing. Well, they don't kill but they capture innocent young people and sell them to the highest bidder. They provide weapons, costumes and a place to torture and kill them. Their only rule is that you must kill someone before you leave. If you try and leave before finishing your job they sick the vicious dogs on you and the end result is not pretty at all. Like the first movie, we watch the trio of girls being picked off and Lorna is the first to go. She was sold to an older woman who likes to bathe in blood. Yes, and she accomplishes this with some sort of Grim Reaper like Sickle. The scene is brutal and heart pounding because even though I knew this girl was going to bleed out eventually, Roth deliberately slowed the pacing down so we were hanging on each movement of the blade down this poor girl's back.
The focus will often switch to two American men, played by Desperate Housewives alum and they get to kill Beth and Whitney. Todd and Stuart are two normal looking guys but secretly they want to kill. Todd feels excited by the prospect but Stuart is not quite sure he can do this. Do you get where this is going? The worst moment in this film is when it turns into so many other movies where the loud excited one can't go through with it. See, he puts a power saw into Whitney's face after a truly hilarious moment and he flips out, and the aforementioned dogs clean him up. Stuart though is ready to kill, mostly because Beth looks like his wife and it is obvious Stuart does not stand up for himself. Beth does a pretty good job of realizing this and submits to him, hoping to distract him. It works and the end of this film brings yet another interesting insight to who Eli Roth is what he believe about the human race. See, Beth buys her way out because money can truly buy everything. However, she has to kill before she can be let go and she slices Stuarts fake looking penis off, feeds it to the dogs and coldly says "Let him bleed to death." In true Hostel fashion she also gets back and Axelle by taking an ancient battle axe to her neck and taking hr head clean off. Again, Eli Roth proves that if given the option to just get away or to kill the one who made your life hell, human beings will always go for the kill! This is not as good as the first one because it doesn't quite have the same feeling as it. My heart didn't race nearly as much here and I didn't cringe as much, but there are still enough gore moments to satisfy my gore quotient.
Shortbus
John Cameron Mitchell, director of Hedwig and the Angry Inch is obviously not afraid to tackle topics head on, no matter how uncomfortable they may make people, so it is no shock that he would direct a movie featuring an incredible amount of nudity and actual sex. It is also not shocking that for auditions all actors had to describe a seminal sexual moment in their lives, because this movie is all about sex. Don't be fooled by anyone saying sex is not the focus of this film because it is. Is it about love friendship and relationships? Yes, but it is all told through sex and a lot of sex. None of the actors was known to be before I started watching this and as bad as some of them are, I highly doubt they will become known to me at any moment later in life.
Mitchell wants us to focus on about 6 or 6 people in various moments of this film and weaves them all together through an underground sex club called "Shortbus." Now, it may not actually be a sex club, but when a club has an orgy room, I feel inclined to call it a sex club. In reality, I guess it is a club for those who want something different. It is a place where a supposed happy gay couple can pick up a random guy to take home and have a threesome with. And during this threesome they will sing the national anthem, one using another person's penis as a microphone. I am sure I missed the supposed deep point of that moment, but to be it really just looked like a circle jerk. That couple is one of the main focuses of the movie. 1 half of that couple used to be a male escort and due to that he is having trouble connecting on an emotional level to his boyfriend. Instead, he videotapes everything he wants to say to his boyfriend in hopes of creating a video college, eventually. This guy also attempts to give himself a blow job while some guy from across the way is spying on him. The spy puts himself in this couples life and eventually gets his wish of having sex with one of them. I know, a very happy devoted couple indeed!
This couple has a shrink and she is an Asian woman who can't orgasm. She has never had an orgasm and it is ruining her marriage. No matter what positions they try (and they try some I haven't even seen in porn before) she can't get off. She can't get off by masturbating or any other way. She tries and tries but she can't do it. Don't worry at the sex club she can't take her eyes off this particular couple who go at it constantly and by the end of the film this couple invites her to join them and she finally orgasms, yay! The last main focus is that of an artist, who makes money as a dominatrix. She has seen so much of the bad side of people that she has become disillusioned by society, forgetting that she has helped caused this herself. She is dying to make a connection and seeks it at "Shortbus." In the end it seems like all of these people have found what they are looking for, but it doesn't seem like any of them could really be happy. One guy tries to kill himself and when he is saved, he celebrates by cheating on his boyfriend and thus goes this movie.
Mitchell wants us to focus on about 6 or 6 people in various moments of this film and weaves them all together through an underground sex club called "Shortbus." Now, it may not actually be a sex club, but when a club has an orgy room, I feel inclined to call it a sex club. In reality, I guess it is a club for those who want something different. It is a place where a supposed happy gay couple can pick up a random guy to take home and have a threesome with. And during this threesome they will sing the national anthem, one using another person's penis as a microphone. I am sure I missed the supposed deep point of that moment, but to be it really just looked like a circle jerk. That couple is one of the main focuses of the movie. 1 half of that couple used to be a male escort and due to that he is having trouble connecting on an emotional level to his boyfriend. Instead, he videotapes everything he wants to say to his boyfriend in hopes of creating a video college, eventually. This guy also attempts to give himself a blow job while some guy from across the way is spying on him. The spy puts himself in this couples life and eventually gets his wish of having sex with one of them. I know, a very happy devoted couple indeed!
This couple has a shrink and she is an Asian woman who can't orgasm. She has never had an orgasm and it is ruining her marriage. No matter what positions they try (and they try some I haven't even seen in porn before) she can't get off. She can't get off by masturbating or any other way. She tries and tries but she can't do it. Don't worry at the sex club she can't take her eyes off this particular couple who go at it constantly and by the end of the film this couple invites her to join them and she finally orgasms, yay! The last main focus is that of an artist, who makes money as a dominatrix. She has seen so much of the bad side of people that she has become disillusioned by society, forgetting that she has helped caused this herself. She is dying to make a connection and seeks it at "Shortbus." In the end it seems like all of these people have found what they are looking for, but it doesn't seem like any of them could really be happy. One guy tries to kill himself and when he is saved, he celebrates by cheating on his boyfriend and thus goes this movie.
Gray Matters
Gray (Heather Graham) and Sam (Tom Cavanagh) are as close as people can be. They are best friends, roommates and siblings. They are so close that people mistake them for a couple often and while the back of the DVD says that they are brother and sister, the director feels the need to make us believe they are dating at first, so we will be a bit shocked at the reveal of them being related. Gray cannot seem to find the man of her dreams and all of her friends believe it is because she and Sam are incredibly too co-dependant. Sam can't find the girl of his dreams because he is working on his residency at a hospital becoming a heart surgeon. They agree they need to help each other find someone and Gray is quick to find Sam a gorgeous wonderful woman, Charlie (Bridget Moynahan). She is so perfect for Sam that he proposes after one night and they are planning to fly to Vegas to get married that weekend. Because it is so rushed, they ask Gray to be their witness and at first we see that Gray is jealous Sam has found someone so perfect, but soon we come to think maybe she is jealous for a different reason. The night before the wedding Sam is not a lot to see the bride so Charlie and Gray hang out for the night- taking a bath together, singing on stage with Gloria Gaynor and getting absolutely hammered. At the end of the night, they share a long passionate kiss. The kind of kiss that can make one question everything one believes and that is exactly what happens to Gray. Charlie seems to have no recollection of what happened but Gray harbors this secret, although she does not say anything to Sam about it.
What happens for the rest of the movie is Gray trying to come to terms with the possibility of being gay. She is in love with Charlies, that is obvious, but is she gay? Is she just reacting to her brother finding eternal happiness? Was the kiss just that good? This is the crux of the movie and along for the ride are the pointless Sissy Spacek as an awful therapist, the always obnoxious Molly Shannon as Gray's best friend and the incredibly sweet and charming Alan Cumming as a cab driver harboring a giant crush on Gray. Gray tries to go on dates with men and she tries to forget Charlie entirely but nothing seems to work. Eventually she tells Sam what happened and he reacts by cutting Gray from his life. Because it is a whimsical romantic comedy featuring two classy dance numbers, everything comes out alright in the end and we do realize that yes, this is a coming out film, but sadly, it doesn't end there. In the final 10 minutes it tries to turn into a gay rights film as Gray spouts off this diatribe about how she is lonely because she'll never be able to get married or hold hands without people whispering. Now there is nothing wrong with the sentiment in this film, because I agree with it all, but this ending feels forced, this movie is about one woman's transition into who she really is and becoming comfortable as a gay woman. It is not about gay rights!
I can't say I really enjoyed the movie much because Heather Graham is about the worst actress working. She is moderately charming and handles the sweetness alright, I guess, but she is simply just a hot actress who can't act. Tom Cavanagh is a charming and goofy actor who is wasted in a secondary role and it is a shame because he really is like Zach Braff, only a bit older (which is why he plays Braff's brother on Scrubs). Moynahan is gorgeous charming and funny and it is easy to see why everyone in this thing falls in love with her. The writer director seemed hell bent on turning this into some gimmicky sitcom, complete with a pointless cross dressing moment, for laughs I guess. I like the idea and the basic structure of the movie, but perhaps with a better lead, better script and more capable director this could have been worth the 90 minutes of my time.
What happens for the rest of the movie is Gray trying to come to terms with the possibility of being gay. She is in love with Charlies, that is obvious, but is she gay? Is she just reacting to her brother finding eternal happiness? Was the kiss just that good? This is the crux of the movie and along for the ride are the pointless Sissy Spacek as an awful therapist, the always obnoxious Molly Shannon as Gray's best friend and the incredibly sweet and charming Alan Cumming as a cab driver harboring a giant crush on Gray. Gray tries to go on dates with men and she tries to forget Charlie entirely but nothing seems to work. Eventually she tells Sam what happened and he reacts by cutting Gray from his life. Because it is a whimsical romantic comedy featuring two classy dance numbers, everything comes out alright in the end and we do realize that yes, this is a coming out film, but sadly, it doesn't end there. In the final 10 minutes it tries to turn into a gay rights film as Gray spouts off this diatribe about how she is lonely because she'll never be able to get married or hold hands without people whispering. Now there is nothing wrong with the sentiment in this film, because I agree with it all, but this ending feels forced, this movie is about one woman's transition into who she really is and becoming comfortable as a gay woman. It is not about gay rights!
I can't say I really enjoyed the movie much because Heather Graham is about the worst actress working. She is moderately charming and handles the sweetness alright, I guess, but she is simply just a hot actress who can't act. Tom Cavanagh is a charming and goofy actor who is wasted in a secondary role and it is a shame because he really is like Zach Braff, only a bit older (which is why he plays Braff's brother on Scrubs). Moynahan is gorgeous charming and funny and it is easy to see why everyone in this thing falls in love with her. The writer director seemed hell bent on turning this into some gimmicky sitcom, complete with a pointless cross dressing moment, for laughs I guess. I like the idea and the basic structure of the movie, but perhaps with a better lead, better script and more capable director this could have been worth the 90 minutes of my time.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (spoilers)
I was one of the few people who seemed to genuinely enjoy the first Fantastic Four movie. I found it to be fluff, yes, but enjoyable fluff nonetheless. However, in the sequel just about everything that was fun about the first one is either gone here or more annoying here. TO be honest it starts promising enough for my tastes. I mean the Four are celebrities so I chuckled at how the media was covering the wedding between Reed and Sue and I enjoyed Johnny trying to get the group to use suits that were covered in product placement like logos. How very Nascar of him. Sadly that is about the smartest joke of the movie. There are some burp jokes and some bad physical shtick that only children and idiots will laugh about, but that seems to be what the director is hoping for.
Before the wedding though, the Military(?) comes to the Four for help with giant holes being dug into the core of the world. Eventually we meet the Silver Surfer and as magnificent as he is, his entire reveal/first scene was the teaser trailer shown about a year ago, so that initial amazement lasts about 2.5 seconds. Yes, the surfer looks amazing, like a T1000 for the new decade but he doesn't really get to be a bad ass. In fact, that is the problem with this whole movie. Doom is back and we think he is going to get to be a bad ass because he jacks the Surfer's board (the source of his power) and he starts like that as he fries a military guy, but it is short lived because this movie wraps up in a mere 90 minutes. Which is its saving grace and its biggest flaw. Surfer has come to destroy the Earth, but not really. We learn a bit of the back story of Silver Surfer and we find out he is controlled by Galactus.
What is a Galactus exactly? Well, in the comic books he is often a giant purple planet looking thing with horns and he devours planets to stay alive. In this movie he appears briefly as a molten rock looking lava bursting planet thing being followed by a giant rain cloud full of debris from planets, rocks and the cosmos. While many will complain about how Galactus looks but he is one thing about the movie that didn't bother me. See, comics can get away with having a giant purple planet with horns, but on screen that would look ridiculous, so the director switched it up and that is not a problem. The problems are that most of the best "action" was given away by the trailer, the powers of the Four are still played too much for laughs and my biggest issue was that a fight between a board having Dr. Doom and a Johnny Storm who has all of the powers of the Four only lasts about 2 minutes, in that. If that fight had been as bad ass as it could have been, this entire movie could have been saved, in my opinion. Instead it goes to fast and we get a conclusion that has some of the most god awful dialogue ever. Not even Chris Evan's continues amazing portrayal of the cocky, young and hot Johnny Storm can save this franchise from becoming one big pratfall.
Before the wedding though, the Military(?) comes to the Four for help with giant holes being dug into the core of the world. Eventually we meet the Silver Surfer and as magnificent as he is, his entire reveal/first scene was the teaser trailer shown about a year ago, so that initial amazement lasts about 2.5 seconds. Yes, the surfer looks amazing, like a T1000 for the new decade but he doesn't really get to be a bad ass. In fact, that is the problem with this whole movie. Doom is back and we think he is going to get to be a bad ass because he jacks the Surfer's board (the source of his power) and he starts like that as he fries a military guy, but it is short lived because this movie wraps up in a mere 90 minutes. Which is its saving grace and its biggest flaw. Surfer has come to destroy the Earth, but not really. We learn a bit of the back story of Silver Surfer and we find out he is controlled by Galactus.
What is a Galactus exactly? Well, in the comic books he is often a giant purple planet looking thing with horns and he devours planets to stay alive. In this movie he appears briefly as a molten rock looking lava bursting planet thing being followed by a giant rain cloud full of debris from planets, rocks and the cosmos. While many will complain about how Galactus looks but he is one thing about the movie that didn't bother me. See, comics can get away with having a giant purple planet with horns, but on screen that would look ridiculous, so the director switched it up and that is not a problem. The problems are that most of the best "action" was given away by the trailer, the powers of the Four are still played too much for laughs and my biggest issue was that a fight between a board having Dr. Doom and a Johnny Storm who has all of the powers of the Four only lasts about 2 minutes, in that. If that fight had been as bad ass as it could have been, this entire movie could have been saved, in my opinion. Instead it goes to fast and we get a conclusion that has some of the most god awful dialogue ever. Not even Chris Evan's continues amazing portrayal of the cocky, young and hot Johnny Storm can save this franchise from becoming one big pratfall.
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