Sex and the City 2

I come at this movie having seen every single episode of the show and the first movie. I also come at this movie having enjoyed a good portion of the series and got so into the first movie, it is almost embarrassing. So, I am not one of those guys who is just out to hate the entire idea of this movie. I am invested in the characters and this ridiculous world. That being said, this movie never looked very good. The trailers were awful and when the reviews came in and they were just terrible, I second guessed my desire. However, I was more curious what the fans had to say and when the girls I know also told me the movie was pretty bad, I became less interested. Well, if not for $5.00 Tuesdays, I probably would not have gone to see it, but I did see it and was it as bad as everyone said? Read on to find out.

Carrie(Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha(Kim Cattrell), Charlotte(Kristen Davis) and Miranda(Cynthia Nixon) are back and we are reintroduced to the ladies as they make their way to pick up wedding gifts for Stanford's wedding. The wedding is the movie's first big set piece, and what a gay old time it is. However, not all is well in the world of these four ladies. Carrie and Big(Chris Noth) are in a relationship stalemate, Charlotte's new baby cries nonstop, Miranda's new boss hates her and Samantha is going through menopause. The girls still get together to complain and trade really bad puns, and Carrie still narrates. When Big proposes putting a television in the bedroom, Carrie begins to wonder if this can work. In the middle of all of this, Samantha gets the opportunity to take the girls away on an all expenses vacation to The Middle East. While there, Carrie runs into Aidan(Jon Corbett) and begins to wonder some more. Charlotte and Miranda bond over the troubles of motherhood and Samantha does everything she possibly can to offend an entire nation of people all while spouting the worst puns ever. "Lawrence of my labia" Really??

While the first Sex and the City movie put some people off by being too serious, Sex and the City 2 is not serious enough. The movie is a mix of awful scenes, throw away social commentary, disrespect and bad jokes. The Samantha character, who showed some growth towards the end of the series and regressed a bit in the first movie, is beyond obnoxious here. It is not about her portrayal of feminine sexuality, it is just the one note characterization of it. Samantha was at her best when she was trying to be in a relationship. Of course, the blatantly offensive nature of a majority of her scenes did not help. I get that in America we do not have a lot of tolerance for countries with such drastic different standards, but a lot of the jokes made at the expense of the Muslim culture gets uncomfortable. That is not even mentioning the god awful Karaoke "I am Woman" moment.

Part of the joy of Sex and the City is reveling in the excess of it all. We knew from the beginning that Carrie, as a syndicated columnist, could never afford all of those shoes and clothes, but it was an escape for the audience. However, as the recession gets worse and worse, you would think we would need more of that escape, the problem is, that escape comes with far too much whining. Miranda hates her nice paying job and is complaining all of the time despite having a paycheck and a family that loves her. Charlotte has a beautiful family, does not have to work and has a nanny on top of that, and still she complains. No, money does not make life automatically better and it is stupid to assume rich people live nothing but happy lives, but it is tough to get an audience behind all the whining when it is done in such expensive clothes and in these exotic locations.

There are a few nice moments, and it is always nice to see Aidan back, since he was always my favorite Carrie boyfriend. One of those nice moments, came during a rare sincere moment. As Miranda and Charlotte enjoy their time in The Middle East, They also take a moment to really talk about how hard it is to be a mom. It is a moment of complaining, yes, but it feels honest. It feels real. It is done with humor and class, but also brutal honesty of what it is like to be a mother. If the movie had felt as real as this more of the time, maybe it would have been easier to take the whining. When we see Aidan, yes, it is ridiculous. How in the world could these two people end up in this exact moment at the same time and to be honest his two scenes seem put in the movie just to serve a purpose of pushing Carrie and to Big, but it was still nice to see him and on a shallow level, that scene was about the only time I have ever really found Sarah Jessica Parker attractive.

Sex and the City 2 is such an unmitigated disaster, it is hard to even care if these stories continue. The movie is poorly directed, horribly scripted and badly acted, but even worse than all of that, it just is not entertaining. It is at least 30 minutes too long and when it reaches the inevitable finish, I was too exhausted to care anymore. Sure, the clothes are nice to look at, and the hotel in which they stay is gorgeous beyond belief, with a private elevator and everything, but ultimately, what is the point if it does not come with entertainment value? There are people more intelligent than I that have written about how offensive the movie is, but to be honest, offensive things in entertainment do not bother me. In fact, if done well, I can appreciate a little offensiveness to point out something ridiculous. However, what I cannot forgive is the lack of entertainment value. It is almost offensive to me that anyone thought this movie was worth making in the way it was made.

Final grade: F